More politico-cinema

Huge! I relented and taped 'NeverEnding Story'. I saw it when I was young, kinda doesn't hold up so well but you do gotta like those special effects.

The more I hear about this Jarhead thing, the more I'm rooting for it. Three Kings is now superseded, which Clooney might be happy about. And hopeful news for Roger Deakins: he may get that Oscar yet, as both of Sam Mendes' previous pictures won Director of Photography Oscars!

In other news, Fred Thompson finally fulfilled his lifelong dream: being President of the United States, if only in some claptrap on HBO called Last Chance Agreement. I mean, Last Best Chance, that's it. He gets to say Fred Thompson-esque things like "The world's coming to an end, and here we are arguing about budgets and oversight!" Oh, it's surely a dream come true, for someone. Good double bill with: Celsius 41.11, NOT playing on HBO.

Say It Ain't So, Scooter!

Just got the early Box Office returns. Boy, was I way off! I coulda sworn people would be flocking to Niccy Cage's The Weather Man after that pummeling of an ad campaign. "They were out of tartar sauce ... I'm calling them!" C'mon, folks! Everyone was saying that around the water cooler! ...weren't they? As it stands, it looks like Lord of War made more money. Probably 'cause of Schwartzman. ...correction. I was thinking of Simone. Or Shopgirl, I just can't keep track anymore. Well, Mr. Gore V won't be hurt by this minor setback, as he's still got two POTC sequels to make. Oh, to be that easy! But this does break his streak of having movies at #1 for two weeks in a row. Back to MouseHunt - style success.

Oh but there are other box office stories out there, aren't there? Saw 2, well, what can you say? If that doesn't speak volumes about current demographics, nothing will! Guess they needed something a little stronger than that Fog remake; I mean Selma Blair's no Adrienne Barbeau, unless you count that John Waters movie she did. Then there's that other sequel Zorro 2 which sounds like it has a cadre of bad guys like the ones in Batman 5. What, no cameo for Michael Douglas? The only other one that interests me is Doom which looks like it's not going to be as profitable as the original video game. And whatever you do, don't ask screenwriter Wesley Strick: "Would you say this is the best thing you've ever done?"

"The Colbert Report" Rapport

Get it? See because that's how... never mind. Well, the first week has drawn to a close. I appreciate it as a satire of the likes of Bill O'Reilly and the other demons to escape from the "Doom" video game only to get their own cable squawk box shows. Otherwise, I don't know.... I want to like it. Maybe it's just too much of a good thing. Maybe that much Stephen Colbert is too much. Don't get me wrong, I hope his show kicks ass but if he does have to go crawling back to the Daily Show, no shame in it whatsoever. Too bad Carell's fortunes have turned so ... fortunate. In the meantime I know what I'm going to be doing from 8 to 9 for the rest of my life: Daily Show & Colbert Report all the way, baby!!!

And Pink Panther at 7:30 on Boomerang, of course. Just til I collect em all.

Oh yeah, and someone told me that Spike TV shows old Three Stooges shorts: NO JOE!!!! See, Joe Besser kinda sucked. Although I do like that time he said "Raw egg! I hate raw egg."

Auteur Watch

Let's take a look at Sidney Lumet. Still reeling from a Network weekend. Not to use too broad of a brushstroke, but the 90s were kind of hard on Sid. Maybe this latest with Vin Diesel will turn his fortunes around. Or is that an oxymoron: who could be more fortunate than someone directing Vin Diesel? David Twohy, for example, but he'll be on the next issue of Auteur Watch.

In the meantime, it's about 1 1/2 hours until The Daily Show / Colbert Report superchunk. Gotta run!!

God hates Pakistan

Or at least has it in for her. I can't even keep track any more, is this the second quake in so many months? Where's a discussion of Tectonic plates when you need it?
Anyway, back to the business at hand. Note: not all trilogies get publicity. I just saw an ad on a bus for 'The Work and the Glory: American Zion'. It's the second one! I was going to say that that's the sad part, but the closest thing to a name in the cast is R.D. Call! And I don't even know who he is!! Apparently, he's good friends with Sean Penn. Maybe I was thinking of B'zar Getty, I don't know. Anywho, lightning can strike sometimes, like with Darkness Falls, although success still seems to have eluded most of that cast (except for Lemony Snicket, of course). Maybe the third installment due 2006 will generate some actual publicity, although they might have to show the first two for free to do it.
In tragic news, Fox cancels 'The Simple Life'. Even more shocking, it was on for THREE seasons!!!! Apparently, the producers ... rather, the reporters say that 20th Century Fox Television itself hopes that someone else will pick up the show; maybe CBS or ABC, that kind of thing. Trust me, guys. Paris and Nicole are old school in this regard: if they hate each other, they hate each other. They've got real money. Probably more than Fox Television! They have actual lives to get back to. It's like saying there was one babysitting job in your life that changed your destiny irrevocably, but .. nah, bad example. Think of all those people ruined by Bart Simpson! More like if you were at the store and picked an apple from the bin that would unclog all your arteries and make you buy a winning lottery ticket. That's what the show means to Paris and Nicole.

The latest doings and goings

Where's my dinner? Anyway, it's been a while since my last post, forgive me father. Man, I've never been sicker than I have been the last couple days. So congested I could barely talk. As good a time as any to catch up on all the TV I missed.
Still waiting for that new show, 'The Colbert Report' after 'The Daily Show'. A couple days of freedom left! Won't be long now before they start showing clips of it in the promos.
Still haven't seen that clip of that dude getting beat up by the cops in New Orleans, and that may be for the best. It's taken a while, but there's now a parallel between Bush 41 and Bush 43. Bush 41 had the L.A. riots, and Bush 43 may yet have the La. riots.
On a lighter note, in the new tradition of watered-down PG-13 rated horror flicks, I had to satiate my curiosity about this Fog remake. The fog face looks like someone slipped it a can of alum like in all those Sylvester and Tweety cartoons. Based on the John Carpenter screenplay and directed by that chum with just a great name! Rupert Wainwright. Sounds like a damn director, doesn't he? At least, if it weren't for Stigmata. One thing for sure: when Patricia Arquette wants her life back, get the hell out of her way.
Sigh. No new Al Franken, sans Katharine Lanpher.

The New Shmoo: Ted Turner strikes again

Man, that New Shmoo freaks me out. Who comes up with this sh...oe leather? It's the same structure as Scooby-Doo, without the 'cooby-D'. The main characters produce a comic book at their ... headquarters. Self-employed, apparently, and when the muse strikes them they venture out into the world for inspiration. The master, Frank Welker does the voice of this Shmoo creature, sort of a lone version of those twin blobs from that other Hanna-Barbera show which I can't recall the name of right now, but with an awkward teenage mustache. (Wasn't sure where to place the mustache part in the sentence,,,...) When you get right down to it, I'm surprised the Religious Right hasn't brought a hammer down harder on some of these Hanna Barbera shows. Some of 'em are downright satanic!

Re: Comments

Just looking at some of the comments I've received. I gotta say, it sure is an ego boost to see that so many people like my blog! TOO BAD THEY'RE ALL ADS!!!!!!!!

SNL - Steve Carell

I guess the highlight would have to be the .. re-unition? The reuniting of Kanye West and Mike Myers. I guess that means everything's okay now! Anyway, they blew a real opportunity. Steve Carell did a song about how he's better than Vince Vaughn, Owen Wilson, Will ferrell and Ben Stiller. If they all came out in the middle of the song that would've been ... too cliché? Anyway, I just hate it when my appetite's whetted like that!
They're still attacking Bush which is good, but it's still not having any visible effect. He's still here! Pretty soon he's going to pass an Executive Order that will force The Simpsons to do a caricature of him. I wonder if Jim Morris has an impression worked up yet.

Not much in the way of films. Saw a trailer for Thumbsucker. For a second I thought it was directed by ......... what's his name? Alexander Payne! Yeah, that's the guy. It looks an awful lot like Sideways, I must say. No, just a puppet director. Ah! He's got an arrondissement in Paris, je t'aime. Wicked! Will it ever come out? I heard Julien Temple and Nicolas Roeg wanted a piece of it ... is that too inside? Here's the link...

Oh yeah, and these new kids to SNL, Bill Hader and Andy Samberg. They look a tiny little bit like Jim Breuer and ... Adam Sandler, oddly enough. Or maybe if Jimmy Fallon and Adam Sandler had a baby.

Damn! Didn't get to bed on time. Finally, Debbie Downer has met her match! Steve Carell is BOB BUMMER!!!!! Finally! There's some writing on the show again. Must've hired Robert Smigel back full-time now.