Well, what can one say about a movie like The Equalizer 3? Well, I didn't detest it quite as much as the Roger Ebert guy, but probably liked it about the same as James Berardinelli... well, he's Italian, so of course he's going to like it! But yeah, the more one thinks about it, the more it feels like a Frankenstein monster of a revenge-based screenplay. But the Revenge Film market in general has been over-saturated; alas, the remake of Death Wish didn't spawn as many sequels as its predecessor. But there are a few surprises here and there; for instance, I was relieved that the bloody scenario we start with wasn't going to lead to a feature-length flashback, showing us how we got here. ON THE OTHER HAND (SPOILER ALERT), when we first meet our protagonist Robert McCall (Denzel Washington), we don't doubt that he's still alive... but what's the deal with the last remaining living bad guys? Why are they waiting to shoot? I expect a little more of a logical explanation for these things, what can I tell you.
Anyway, as soon as that ends, our protagonist starts his long walk away from the grisly scene. HOWEVER, and I'm going to spoil the surprise here, so SPOILER ALERT, he does get mortally wounded by a character he didn't suspect, and is whisked off to the local hospital... I should point out that he's now in Italy, following up on a lead. As the blood oozing from the bullet hole is eventually redirected, in the time-honored tradition of the genre, whether it's Kung Fu Hustle or Ronin or going all the way back to One-Eyed Jacks, it's time for a long period of healing, which also gives the filmmakers a break because they can keep the action in one room for the most part.
There seems to be no long-term repercussions from the opening bloodbath, but soon enough we're meeting the next round of bad guys: some modern day Italian gangsters, including a younger brother living in the shadow of the more savage older brother. For fans of abject cruelty, at one point they give new meaning to the expression "lending a hand." They seem to have ambitions like Bugsy Seigel once purportedly had: they want to turn their quaint little Italian seaport into the new Las Vegas. Alas, the pesky locals already living there are making the expansion plans hard, and even downright impossible. And you'll never guess who's side Robert McCall is on in this brewing conflict... that's right! The locals!
We still need one more narrative thread to make this tapestry complete. Enter fresh-faced CIA operative Emma Collins, played by Dakota Fanning. Well, she's having a hard time competing with younger sister Elle these days. One of the other reviewers pointed out that this marks a reunion of sorts, since she and Denzel were in Man on Fire some almost 20 odd years ago. How time flies. Did I ever tell you about diskettes? They were much bigger than thumb drives and held quite a lot less! It was really quite a remarkable thing. Her character goes to the hospital too. Man, getting old and or getting blown up sucks!
Various other homages to older films abound. There's a religious ceremony akin to The Godfather, Part II, but the picture quality's so much sharper that it's hard to complain. There's the long staircase of Kill Bill, Part 2. Speaking of which, I was kind of surprised to see that three time Oscar (TM)(R)(C) winning cinematographer Robert Richardson was involved with this. Whelp, long gone are the days of a bright light over a round table! The only other major complaint I have is a certain crucial scene, sort of like that famous one from Spartacus. The ruthless Italian mob demands revenge for who killed the head guy's brother. Denzel... I mean, McCall turns himself in until... the SmartPhones (TM)(C)(R) come out in droves amongst the local townsfolk. The mafia demands revenge, but they're not about to damage their Uber ratings either! Let's not get crazy here!
**1/2
-so sayeth The Movie Hooligan
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