We will never forget

It's a tragic week for all Americans, and really, for all peoples all over the world... I'm referring of course to the poor box office performance of Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star. All that lost money. Truly, the terrorists have won anew. Doesn't anyone understand? They hate us for our freedoms! The freedom to go to the cinema and contemplate the comic space that Nick Swardson's genitalia occupy! The space close to it, the space a slightly farther distance away. What part of "patriotic duty" don't you ungrateful bastards understand?
But every dark cloud has a silver lining, even on this sad chapter in Happy Madison history. A movie FINALLY edged The Help out of the #1 spot. Yes, the Godless Heathens of Hollywood put their best and brightest forward with a nice, good ol' fashioned schlocky horror flic, the kind Robert Wise used to make, and it's called Contagion, the story of a non-anthrax germ that conquers the known world, doing a better job than... well, than Bucky Larson, frankly! The other debut this week is Warrior, and not the 2002 Warrior like those jokers over at the IMDb mistakenly thought was #3. No, it's the latest entry in the Fighting/Girlfight/Fast and Furious without cars genre for the high school grad set. But let's get back to this whole Bucky Larson thing. According to Variety... yes, THAT Variety, B.Lar was going to hit paydirt among the 25 year old demographic. For those of you who don't yet know, Bucky Larson is the story of a guy named Bucky Larson who follows in his parents' footsteps and becomes a porn star. Turns out the 25-year olds out there apparently would rather just watch porn instead. Okay, I better leave it at that.