Short Reviews - February 2017

I've probably made this suggestion several times already, but I think it's worth repeating: the "Wheeler Dealers" movie.  With Benedict Cumberbatch as Edd China, and Ricky Gervais as... you know, the other one.  And who knows?  Maybe Elon Musk will stop by with a Tesla or two.  Casting directors of Hollywood, let's make it happen.

Suburbicon - So far it's the only new Coen project on the horizon...

"The Ballad of Buster Scruggs" - ...UNTIL NOW!!!!  Oh, I wonder if this is the one with the unforgettable role for a chicken!  N'awesome.

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American Hero - With Timothy Bottoms as Jack Armstrong

The Best of Times - With Robin Williams as Jack Dundee (..."Crocodile"?)

Clementine - With Steven Seagal as Jack Miller

Club Paradise - With Robin Williams as Jack Moniker

Dogma - Some have called this a classic.  I call it probably the best that Kevin Smith can do.  Maybe think of it like what Malcolm X is to Spike Lee, for your Movies SAT game.  Or what The Brothers McMullen is to Edward Burns.

Fire Down Below - With Steven Seagal as Jack Taggart

The Glimmer Man - With Steven Seagal as Cole... LIEUTENANT Jack Cole, b'atch!  (Keenan Ivory Wayans co-stars as the glimmer...)

I Am Not Your Negro -  ...with Antonio Fargas as James Baldwin?  Is that asking so bloody much?

I Can Hardly Wait (1943) - ...for it to be OVER!  The current state of our national politics, that is.  Sorry to keep harping on this, but I can't help but think of the current administration when I think of this one exchange.  In Curly's dream, they're getting ready to pull his bad tooth.  Curly asks "Is it gonna hurt?"  Moe says "Of course not.  I won't even feel it!"

The Irishman - Welp, it took about 45 years, but Pacino's finally working with Scorsese on something!  It'll be worth the wait, I know it.

Jack - With Robin Williams as Jack

"Jack Reed: Badge of Honor" - With Brian Dennehy as Sergeant Jack Reed

"Jack Reed: A Search for Justice" - With Brian Dennehy as Sergeant Jack Reed

"Jack Reed: One of Our Own" - With Brian Dennehy as Sergeant Jack Reed

"Jack Reed: A Killer Among(st) Us" - With Brian Dennehy as Jack Reed

"Jack Reed: Death and Vengeance" - With Brian Dennehy as Death and Vengeance... I mean, Jack Reed

The Nostril Picker - Um... and why am I only finding about this title NOW?!!!!!!!???!!!!

Reckless - Somebody remind me to do a compilation of movie posters like this from the '80s with the title in scratchy cursive

"Shadow Man" - With Steven Seagal as Jack Foster

Strange Days - I'm kinda very relieved that the "squid" technology in the movie doesn't actually exist... YET.  Or maybe it does, and the douchebags and or the military just don't want to give it to us ninety-nine percenters yet.  However, the movie does have its limitations.  For instance, Pinnacle Studio doesn't have editing technology for such clips.  You have to watch the whole thing, even if the person dies before finishing the recording... incidentally, what if it keeps recording after the person dies?  And second, there's no good "Squid to 2D" conversion technique.  I mean, Mace tries to get Police Commissioner Tightass to watch a clip, but she doesn't have the finesse of a Leonard Nero, say; however, apparently Nero would have trouble with this guy as well.  This was before people watched YouTube clips on their SmartPhones, mind you... also, Brainstorm called.  Wants their idea back.  Ouch.

The Survivors - With Jerry Reed as Jack Locke

"Teamster Boss: The Jackie Presser Story" - With Brian Dennehy as Jackie Presser