Auteur Watch - Al Freeman Jr.

Welp, that's how it happens sometimes.  You've got a career that spans 50 years, and all you get for it is this lousy t-shirt... a t-shirt that says your IMDb Top 4 on it.  And mostly the grandpa roles, of course.  So far, the only one I've actually seen is his turn as Elijah Muhammad in Malcolm X, as have you.  I don't get to the video store as often as I used to, and now they're a non-profit, for God's sake!
But if you take more than a perfunctory look at his IMDb résumé, you'll find the two directorial titles there.  It all started in 1968... you remember 1968, right?  Big sea change in the country, the Hippie movement at its peak, and Freeman Jr. had busted his ass for 10 years in the proverbial actor mines, so why not try directing?  I mean, when you've been directed by amateurs like Josh Logan, well... hell, why NOT me?  How hard is it to sit in a chair and tell others what to do?  Well, as it turns out, on the likes of the set of a soap opera... plenty.  Back to acting you go.
But then, time passes, the right project comes along, and the bug bites anew.  A nice fresh, deep bite, which takes about three months to scratch.  You know, principal photography and what not.  The project?  A hostage pic called A Fable.  I know, very judgmental of me.  It's more of a metaphor about the fluctuating state of American Imperialism in the 20th Century, but I was just going by the plot description.  A guy goes into a house and takes the family hostage.  Makes for a great Broadway play, because you can have all the action on one set, and can be quite convenient for a major motion picture, even if there are limited opportunities for David Lean-style visual grandeur.  Incidentally, the screenplay was based on a play by Amiri Baraka.  He was married to Amina Baraka, which would lead to the occasional faux pas when they were at a party with strangers.  But this is mid-2017 we're talking about here.  I can't vouch for what people want to see, but A Fable probably ain't it.

Breach

Whelp, I tried taking a break from all things Trump last week.  Did anything happen?  Oh, right.  Well, for starters, Trump gave the Russians some classified information.  I know, I know, what's the big deal?  Besides, what Bill Clinton's done to women... much worse, folks.  Much worse.  And who knows?  Maybe we'll be looking back on this era fondly, in a post-secrets utopian society and we'll say "And it all started with that douchebag Trump."  Of course, by then, the word "douchebag" will be a term of endearment, kinda like "bro" and "pal."  Well, "pal" not so much.  People still say "Thanks a lot, pal" when something bad happens.  Meanwhile, all the little atrocities that Trump commits, what do the Republicans do?  Why, lift their heads up high and keep their mouths shut!  Remember that come election time, people.  Try and remember that.  I know both parties are the same and all that, but I prefer the Democrats, if only because they seem to have a better grasp of metaphors, and because they don't keep trying to change the goalposts all the time on little things like, say, rape and treason, for example.
Meanwhile, I feel a little sorry for Melania right now.  I mean, for God's sake!  Can't ANYONE ELSE ON THIS PLANET take her modeling career seriously?  She wore that pussy dress in front of Clinton, for God's sake!  What more do people want?  Well, Trump wants to hold her hand.  Apparently, she's not into that whole hand holding scene right now.  She makes like she has to brush her hair out of her eyes when Trump goes in for the hand, and what does she get?  Why, a patronizing pat on the glutes, of course!  Man, first lady-ing is a bitch.
Okay, I feel a little better... well, not really.  But let's try to ignore our falling esteem in the eyes of the world for the moment and take a look at this weekend's box office... hoh boy.  Well, say what you will, but we still kick the world's ass when it comes to movies.  And once again, thanks to a robust ad campaign, and probably some pirate-related product tie-ins, the latest installment of Disney's Pirates of the Carribean ride... I mean, movie, arrives in port at #1.  Not quite recouping its ad budget, but maybe video sales will be good.  Plus, doesn't Disney already own everything?  Surely they'll get some monthly interest out of that!  And finally, the only other debut this week is that Baywatch movie you've probably seen an ad for.  Plus, that one chick in it was on the cover of Cosmopolitan magazine or something.  You know, one of those magazines that lie to women, and talk about the fifty newest sex positions you ABSOLUTELY MUST TRY RIGHT NOW.  Man, I must be tired tonight.  But I will say that "The Rock" did what he could.  After all, the season finale of SNL was last week!  Apparently, they're not going to bump that up a week for one movie.

Auteur Watch - Morgan Freeman

FINALLY!!!  I get to someone I can talk at length about... okay, moving on.  Seriously, though, what do you give the guy who's got everything?  If not Morgan Freeman, then who?  Also, when you've got a bedrock of this industry like Easy Reader... sorry, but for me this clip is worth it because Morgan Freeman cracks up at about precisely 1:59 or so.  I'm shocked!  I thought the top comment would be about... you know.  Anyway, back on track here.  As many of you who use the IMDb regularly might have noticed, there's this handy dandy feature now called the "IMDb Top 4."  It's all part of the internet narrowing our fields of consciousness.  And somehow, his four titles that are up there now don't seem to do him justice.  At least, not for me.  For one, I'm not one of these movie nuts that thinks The Shawshank Redemption is the end-all be-all movie.  I mean, God bless the cast and crew involved and all that... and sure, Se7en was all that and what not, and it's like Morgan Freeman were in a Coen brothers movie or something... frankly, I'd prefer their interpretation of the same material.  I guess No Country For Old Men will have to suffice.  Then of course, there's Driving Miss Daisy, because, you know, Bruce Beresford just wanted to leave his Barry McKenzie days behind him... and HARD.  I'll bet Morgan's close friends still give him sh... guff about that one.  And finally, there's Million Dollar Baby.  I'll confess it: I fell asleep in the theater during that one.  The Good Shepherd as well.  Well, living in the big city and having an extraordinarily bad diet was starting to take its toll.  Go figure!  Okay, so what would my top 4 be?  Oh, I don't know... didn't anyone like him in the 1991 incarnation of Robin Hood?  I also liked him in The Bonfire of the Vanities... sorry, but his part in it just came to mind.  I mean, how can you not like his last line in it?  I guess Americans in general still struggle with his advice.  Okay, so he doesn't get a lot of starring roles, just in things like 10 Items or Less.
Which is probably why a brutha would try turning to directing, just to mix it up.  I mean, working with Edward Zwick was great and all, but you can't help but look at him and go... well, Hell!  If that n... guy can direct, why not me?  Me, Morgan Freeman?  However, he didn't want to pick just anything, and he didn't want to just pander to that flaky, pesky American audience either.  And so we got 1993's Bopha!  I have yet to hear Trevor Noah give this one a shout out... just sayin'.  Well, hopefully it was fun making the movie, if not terribly profitable, and only Ebert would go out on a limb for it.  Bloody critics.  But Freeman was clearly a humble enough guy to realize his position in life in general, and in Hollywood in particular, and he'd seen too many of his fellow thespians get one taste of the Hollywood director chair and turn into complete monsters, thereby, as Chris Rock once quipped, a-holing their way out of the biz completely.  Not so for Freeman, and so it was back to work in the proverbial sulfur mines where all actors toil.
But hey!  Hope springs eternal, and it's a different cinematic landscape than it was 25 years ago, that's for sure.  These days, people go to the cinema and say "WHERE'S THE CLOSED CAPTIONING?  IS THERE SOMETHING ELSE ON THE NET-FLEX?"  And so, the guy who has everything... an Oscar(TM)(R), all the narration and/or host of science shows gigs he could ever want, as much movie work as he could want... I guess he doesn't like staying at home as much anymore as he once said in an interview... still, he can't help but look around the "Madam Secretary" set and think to himself... seriously?  Eric Stoltz?  Cameron Crowe won't even put him in movies anymore!!!  And Eriq La Salle?  Seriously?  The Jheri Curl guy from Coming to America?  Gimme that damn director's chair...

Keep Watching the Skeis

...oh, right!  My weekly report.  I've decided to try and just ignore the news this week, and focus only on that art form that requires a focus puller... the cinema.  And... I probably shouldn't do this, but I'm going to take this opportunity to rag on my spreadsheet software: OpenOffice.org.  Usually when it has a crash, it's pretty good about restoring the files that have crashed... as far as I know.  However, the program itself is apparently what has crashed, as I am unable to properly view some of the spreadsheet programs upon which I have found myself relying as of late.  Looks like it's time to try and figure out the problem in a message board site.  Ugh.
Anyway, enough of that.  On to the movies.  As expected, the latest installment of the Alien/Prometheus franchise is Alien v. Predator 3: Die Predator Die... I mean, something called Alien: Covenant.  Yes, it was about 38 years ago today that director Ridley Scott made a successful bid to joining that group of blockbuster directors: William Friedkin, Spielberg, Coppola, George Lucas... Mike Nichols?  Now he's just happy if he wakes up in the morning and he hasn't soiled himself... sorry, I know.  I think I have made that quip before.  But this new Alien movie has a large and diverse cast, one member of which is a guy named Daniel McBride.  Which makes me think that when you're a director like Ridley Scott, apparently you don't interact much with certain members of the cast at all.  I mean, would it kill you to talk to Jody Hill once?  Just one time?
The next debut this week seems to me to be one of these The Fault in Our Stars type of deals, if only in the sense that it's a Young Adult novel, and a New York Times bestseller not authored by Nicholas Sparks.  This one is titled Rochelle Rochelle... I'm sorry, that's actually the story of a young girl's strange yet erotic journey from Milan to Minsk.  Normally you'd want to go from Minsk to Milan, pretty much for any reason you can think of, but that's neither here nor there.  No, our #2 debut this week is called Europa Europa... I'm sorry, that's actually the story of a young boy in Nazi Germany who joins Hitler Youth.  Guess what the punchline is?  That's right!  He's Jewish!  Well, hey, look at it this way.  That's actually what you want, because the Jewish ones will try twice as hard to impress the bonafide German ones.  Those German ones tend to get a little complacent, seeing as how they don't have to struggle to fit in.  No, this one is called Everything, Everything.  It's the story of a teenage girl who's a shut-in, primarily because she needs to be to survive.  She's apparently allergic to everything, so she has to stay inside!  Wouldn't you?  If you were allergic to everything?  I tell you, though, being allergic to everything has its benefits.  For one thing, it might keep you thin.  I had a college professor who was allergic to nuts, and he was one thin bastard!  But anyway, back to the film.  As I learned from my silent movies, love laughs at locksmiths, and apparently at allergies, despite what Sleepless in Seattle would have you believe.  Although... I hate to say it, but I'll say it anyway.  I know, right?  A blogger afraid of giving an insulting opinion?  What's the world coming to these days?  But check out the poster for Everything, Everything... I mean, really, isn't every couple like this?  She's a non-white supermodel, and he's got kind of a creepy, sex-offender vibe.  Like if Crispin Glover were a sex offender or something.  As for the allergies, well... you know what I heard and or read one time?  You probably saw the same thing.  It's that the American diet is so bad and lacking in fiber, that chunks of undigested food pass through the alimentary canal and directly into the bloodstream, so white blood cells confuse the food for deadly pathogens and start attacking them.  And then, pretty soon, boom!  You're allergic to peanuts and your once daily bowl of Cap'n Crunch cereal.  Of course, it's probably a more longer, drawn-out process, but it kind of makes sense.  So eat your bran, damn it!
Our last debut this week is one of those damn Diary of a Wimpy Kid movies that everyone hates.  But you gotta hand it to them.  Sure, they could take the easy way out and turn the Wimpy Kid saga into a Netflix or Amazon series, or maybe even try to get an AMC series out of it.  Or maybe let Tyler Perry turn it into one of his Shakespearean series for TBS!  But no.  The creators of Wimpy Kid have their pride, and they're of a certain age where a theatrical release was the way to go.  I mean, the prestige!  The potential for an Oscar!  I'm going to call it here first, as a matter of fact, now that I think of it... a Wimpy Kid sweep at the Oscars?  Picture, Adapted Screenplay, one of the Actors... maybe Alicia Silverstone?  Maybe Best Cinematography... you know, just to stick it to Roger Deakins?

Auteur Watch - Morgan Freeman

...oh, no.  Not that one, this other one.  Like many of you, Morgan J. Freeman first popped up on my film radar with two films: Hurricane Streets and... the other one.  I guess it was Desert Blue.  Pretty sure it wasn't either Boom or Banking on Broadway.  No, there was a big-ass ad campaign involved with both, and in all the right places, of course.  Probably on MTV.  Which left us all asking, who is this brash new voice, this new writer-director that will take Hollywood, young and old, by storm?  And is he actually related to Easy Reader, or is that just a happy coincidence?  At some point, you do have to take that into consideration in Hollywood.  Pick your friends carefully.  Of course, now that James Gunn is an A-lister, Lloyd Kaufman's probably a lot harder to get a hold of these days.  I mean, for God's sake!  No cameo in Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2?  Been there done that already?
Okay, so we've got two films, and therefore the making of a vector.  I'll leave it up to you when considering which one is the vector's base and which gives the vector its direction where it's pointing.  So what's been happening lately?  Well, according to this review of 2009's Homecoming... not good, at least from a critical point of view.  But from a Hollywood point of view... not bad!  I mean, people like Mischa Barton, right?  She might not have 'it', but she's got something.  Hollywood may want to consign her to mom roles already, but she's just not ready for that yet.  She's just not.
  And then of course, there's that whole American Psycho 2 thing... forgive me, I mean "American Psycho 2."  William Shatner?  Mila Kunis?  Sometimes you just don't need to see it to know what you're in for.  But here's the Onion review anyway.  As with Morgan J. Freeman's name, sometimes you just have to try hitching your coattails to a known quantity anyway, and hope that they both end up together as a shrink-wrapped package at Costco.  That's more likely than, say, the Henry franchise or the Hidden franchise.  Something beginning with H.
And so, the vector at the beginning isn't always able to predict the total path.  As it happens, Freeman is actually a triple threat, not just the writing and directing double.  Producing is also there in the mix!  I mean, who these days doesn't want a "P.G.A." after their name in Hollywood?  Why, that's practically a Ph.D.!  Now, I'm only guessing as to Freeman's tenuous relationship with MTV, but his production credits make it all too clear, with titles under his belt like "16 and Pregnant," "Teen Mom" and "Teen Mom 2."  And "Taking the Stage," which, based on the title alone, isn't necessarily driving towards the intersection of Statutory and Rape.

The President Who Cried Wolf

We've got three debuts this week.  At #2 it's the 1987 John Cusack classic Hot Pursuit... I mean, the latest Amy Schumer vehicle called Snatched.  Another day at the office, and a semi-triumphant return to form for Goldie Hawn.  Apparently, she's been enjoying life out of the spotlight since 2002's The Banger Sisters.  Also, she gets a chance to go head to head with longtime hubby Kurt Russell in the Guardians of the Galaxy sequel.  Tread carefully around the dinner table on that one, Kurt!  It's not a competition; you're both doing well.
Meanwhile, Hollywood takes another stab, so to speak, at the legend of King Arthur.  And this one is called King Arthur: Legend of the Sword.  Master auteur Guy Ritchie puts his own unique-type spin on the Arthur legend.  It debuted at #3, thereby assuring the continuing careers of both Arthur and Guy.  Guy will keep making pictures, and the Arthur legend will keep getting remade.  The last debut this week is another religious film for The Onion A.V. Club to really stick it to... oops!  Apparently not.  Movie SAT time: what Sugar Hill was to the '90s, so too is Lowriders for the early 2017s.  Brought to you by... what else?  Lowrider Magazine!  Love that thing.  I read it for the articles, of course.
...oh, right.  Politics.  Well, another week, another massive paradigm shift.  Well, I hate to say it, but you gotta hand it to Trump.  It's apparently like his "The Apprentice" reality show... I know, "reality" show, where each week one more apprentice gets fired.  This time, Trump makes a rather high-profile firing, even for him.  A whole head of the FBI, no less!  Of course, James Comey's no J. Edgar Hoover, I know.  But Trump's no dummy, and as he said, there's "never a good time" to fire a guy like Comey.  Trump wanted to do it on January 21st, but that wouldn't have looked good.  People remember the timing on a thing like that!  It echoes through eternity! 
But I can't help but admire the view of the world from my mother's basement, and ponder the big philosophical questions from my lofty, Ivory tower perch.  Questions like, just what are the differences between Democrats and Republicans?  You often hear on TV these days that both sides have the same problems.  Of course, it's usually the token Republican that says that.  For instance, both sides are trapped in bubbles.  Right-wingers don't want to read The New York Times, and Left-wingers don't want to read... let's say The Drudge Report.  And neither side wants to read "The Week."  Man, they can't give that away for free!  Well, there's probably no fixing this problem any time soon.
But I hate to say it, but I think Jimmy Kimmel had the best take on it.  All the well-paid late night jesters had a take on it, but Kimmel's was the best.  I like what he said, because it's kind of what I usually say.  See?  Another bubble to be trapped in.  The topic was about the phrase "priming the pump."  See, Trump was trying to impress the staff writer / interviewer of "The Economist" magazine.  They try to be more academic than "Forbes," for one.  I take it that "The Economist" interviewer said nothing, which Trump took to be a sign of enormous respect.  It's not, "The Donald"... it's not.  I try not to swear here, but Donald, you don't bull$#!t a fellow bull$#!tter, or someone who knows $#!t from $#!nola.  And sure, I'll grant that this article's being a little snarky in the banner headline, probably in the rest of the article as well... we should try to heed Hasan Minhaj's recent advice to the media to be completely serious, and not engage in snark.  It's Fox "News"'s job to engage in snark when it comes to Democrats, and they take that work very, very seriously.  As serious as a New York heart attack.
Ooh!  Just saw this article off to the side of the other article.  Articles beget articles on the Internet, don't they?  Trump loudmouth Mickey Cohen... I mean, Michael Cohen, is trying to ride the coattails of that creepy Electra complex known as Ivanka and The Donald.  In Michael's case, he posted a hot pic of his sexy daughter to social media, with the comment "So proud of my Ivy League daughter...brains and beauty channeling her Edie Sedgwick."  Now, for those of you who have no idea who that is... myself included... here's Edie Sedgwick's Wikipedia page for ya.  Yes, Michael Cohen's daughter will be just like Edie Sedgwick, but without the premature death from barbiturate overdose.  How creepy would that be?  But, you know, both sides are just as bad.  The only example I can think of is the daughter of Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger, but without the obscure references.  Which brings me to another difference between Democrats and Republicans: metaphors.  Is it just me, or are Republicans terrible with metaphors?  Take how Republicans are always talking about the slippery slope that marriage equality represents to them.  Why, if gay people are allowed to marry, what's next?  Democrats think a more just society is next, Republicans think bestiality is next. 
Also, abortion.  The two political parties definitely have different approaches to abortion.  Democrats believe women should have access to quality health care... Republicans do not.  In fact, Republicans don't want anything close to something that might be an abortion.  But there are a few exceptions.  For instance, Bill Bennett... boy!  There are a lot of people named Bill Bennett!  Well, the one I'm referring to is former Secretary of Education under Ronald Reagan and talk show host who forgot that he was ever in government service Bill Bennett once said that the crime rate would drop if all black fetuses were aborted... yeah.  So, clearly, the Right Wing would be in favor of some abortions.  Just to get that darned old crime rate down.  Of course, it would only reduce the theft of hubcaps and collard greens, right?  Then, of course, there are the forced abortions in sweatshops in places like Saipan.  Perfectly okay, because it's not in the U.S., and those women really need to be getting back to work anyway.
But the BIG reveal this week, if only for me, was that Trump "demanded loyalty" from Comey at a dinner.  That's right, you heard me... a President of the United States says to the head of the Federal Bureau of Investigation that he "demands loyalty" from him.  Another something to think about for a minute.  If you're a Trump supporter, skip ahead.  Now, what if Obama or Clinton had even the hint of something like that?  How do you think the Right Wing would react over that?  Remember during the Dubya years (2001-2008) how liberals kept asking "What if a liberal tried to do that?"  There was a reason, mind you!  At the very least, Republicans on the floor of the House and the Senate would be saying "The American people elected a President, not a King."  Well, now that the Republicans got Russia's pick in the White House, now they say "The American people elected a King, not a President."  They also raise their chins, usually for official portraits, but mostly because it hides the jowls a little bit.  Mitch McConnell still kinda looks like he's wearing a mask made from human flesh.  You know, like at the end of The Silence of the Lambs, but not as bloody.  So, that's where we are this week.  We've got a president demanding loyalty from the head of the FBI, a president with connections to the mob, and we've got a rubber stamp Republican-controlled Congress willing to give this president everything he wants.  Just as long as he gets two scoops, with everyone else at the table only getting one.  It's kind of an interesting social experiment to watch, in a way.  But don't forget.  Both parties are just as bad.  Oh, and people always say "Oh, but the Democrats are so weak!  They always cave to the Republicans!"  But other than that, they're completely the same.

Auteur Watch - Kirk Fraser

...dang!  I'm even falling behind on this beloved feature of my little web log!  Well, let's see.  When you think documentary filmmakers... let's play the usual word association game.  Documentary filmmakers.  When you hear that word, you think an increasingly shorter and shorter list of the greats.  You think Ken Burns, you think Michael Moore to an extent, the measles... I mean, Maysles... you think The Thin Blue Line.  You tend to think the award-winning stuff.  At least, someone of my generation.  I know you've got stuff now like "Making a Murderer" or "Better Call Saul" these days.  So, you tend to skip over the workaday documentarians whose work doesn't break through into the attention of the increasingly narrow national public consciousness.  Someone like Jamaica-born Kirk Fraser.
And he's certainly not picking boring subjects, mind you.  Fraser's first is called "The Life of Rayful Edmond," a documentary about a notorious cocaine dealer in the D.C. area.  You can read the review of it here.  Then he spent some time with Li'l Kim.  Then it was "Against All Odds" (or Odd's, as suggested by the poster) about the Dallas Mavericks.  A sequel would come later, but not before "Without Bias," and it is indeed about someone named Bias.  Hard to pass up a good name pun for the title, I know.  The ESPN Network would later use it for their 30 for 30 series... I still don't know what that means.
..hmm!  Fraser seems to be sticking to either sports or hip hop subjects!  Well, seems to be working for him.  Might as well stick with what works.  If you're having a good time, and you like what you do for a living, and you make a slight profit in the process, you're indeed one of life's lucky ones.

Hey Russia... We Need to Talk

Well, we can all breathe a sigh of relief now.  That Macron guy just won in France today, as opposed to Putin's blonde puppet.  Apparently, the plan is, now that Putin's blonde puppet didn't win, the plan is to undermine Macron's presidency.  Now, I'll be the first to admit that I don't know the first thing about French presidential politics, but I do know this.  I'm thinking the Russians aren't going to do as well with influencing France as they are with the United States.  I'm thinking the French have a little more unity in their government than we have in ours.  With Obama, we had eight years of Republican obstruction.  Eight.  Years.  Of it.  Now we've got Pervy McPussygrabber for President.  And now we've got the Republican-controlled House jumping up and down about this terrible bill they just passed.  Well, the Republicans believe in traditional values, and one of them is the traditional value of how we used to talk about having 50 million people without health care coverage.  We want to get back to that!  And some of the Republican critics are saying, "Well... okay, it passed the House, but SURELY it won't pass the Senate!"  I'm hoping that too, but then again, they got Neil Gorsuch onto the Supreme Court, so I'm thinking they'll get this too.  Reminds me of how the arch bad guy in the latest installment of the Mad Max series was telling people that water is a terrible addiction.
Also, when I think of the Republican-controlled House passing this terrible bill that takes away health care from 24 million Americans, I can't help but think of my cat.  Now, I love my cat to death.  Cutest cat we've ever had, but she's a terribly efficient hunter.  And she brought in a dead hummingbird one time.  Also, she killed a thrush, which looks similar to a robin... or maybe more like a flicker.  They're a little rarer round these parts, so naturally our cat has to kill the rare birds.  And of course, the occasional mole or vole in various states of dead-ness.  Sometimes half-eaten, sometimes barely alive, usually dead.  But she'll try to bring them all in, and if the vole is living, it'll start to run away, and make for that little space in the wall that's made of brick, and crawl inside there to hide.  And every time the cat brings in an animal, we'll try to explain to said cat that it's wrong, and we really wish she wouldn't do that.  I've even tried the trick of my genius friend, who swears that his technique works when dealing with an overly prolific hunter cat.  He'll take the trophy that the cat's collected, hold it in front of their face, then hide it behind his back.  I couldn't get that to work; probably didn't do it with the same panache.  Anyway, so we try to tell the cat our position, calmly and logicly, that we don't like it when she brings in animals.  And her response?  Well, it's always the same.  She says "Yeah, but... look what I caught!  I caught that!  I waited in front of the mole hill for about a half hour and boom!  Up popped the vole, and I caught the bastard!  Ain't I talented?  Aren't you proud of me?"  Same thing with this Republican House.  We reasonable people try to explain that what they're doing is wrong, wrong and terribly wrong.  And their response?  "Yeah, but... we repealed Obamacare!  We've been trying to do that for seven years!  And we DID it!  Ja rule!... I mean, we rule!"  Yes, they do.  Hopefully not for long.  Yes, Obamacare is a terrible thing.  I guess they were just upset about the taxes on rich people that pay for Obamacare.  I guess that's why Trump calls it a "disaster."  I guess Trump's thinking, like, how Prince was once referred to as "The artist formerly known as Prince."  So, he too calls Obamacare "the disaster known as Obamacare."  It is kinda catchy, I'll give him that.
Ooh!  Just found out that the Republicans apparently had something called the "Pledge to America."  And apparently they didn't live up to this pledge.  Of course they didn't!  Well, first of all, rules are for everyone else.  These Senators and congressmen didn't claw their way to the top to follow a bunch of rules for the damn Proles.  Second, this was way back in 2010!  It's OVER now!  Stop living in the past.  See, one of the... the pledges of the pledge was apparently to post all bills online three days before a vote.  Well, that goes for regular legislation.  Repealing Obamacare is not regular legislation.  It's kind of an annual ritual for House Republicans now, if not monthly.  Haven't they tried, like, fifty or sixty times to repeal Obamacare?  Sixty-first time's a charm, as they say!
Anyway, the sequel to Guardians of the Galaxy was #1 this weekend, and it crushed the competition, as expected.  Sucking the air out of the room, taking all the sunlight away from the rest of the Groot-lings... I mean, saplings.  Why, The Fate of the Furious only made 8.5 million this weekend!  And films like The Boss Baby and Beauty and the Beast actually rose up in the ranks!  And Gifted as well!  Up is down, black is white.  Oh, I also heard that Trump either called Macron or just tweeted at him to congratulate him.  Somehow I don't think his heart was in it.  After all, Putin's guy didn't win.  Why would Trump like that?  But Trump does have a special place in his heart for France in general, and Paris in particular.  On the other hand... he doesn't care for those girls with hairy armpits.  I'm guessing.  Well, unless they look like Juliette Binoche.  Or Laetitia Casta.  I'm pretty sure Casta shaved her armpits to do her Victoria's Secret photoshoots and what not.  I better go.  I seem to have run out of topics.

Short Reviews - May 2017

Tally Ho! - With Douglas Gordon as Jack Ferrers

Ethel's Luncheon - With Tefft Johnson as Jack Fuller

Happy Jack, a Hero - With Mack Sennett as Happy Jack

The Heart of a Fishergirl - With Hay Plumb as Jack

Jean Goes Fishing - With Leo Delaney as Jack Crane

The Miner's Sweetheart - With Harry (C.) Myers as Jack Ferris

Ransomed; or, A Prisoner of War - With Leo Delaney as Captain Jack

The Roses of the Virgin - With George Melford as Jack Norwood... James' Son

Assigned to His Wife - With Jack Gavin as Jack Throsby

Bonita of El Cajon - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack Dickson... the Sheriff

The Boss of Lucky Ranch - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack

The Bo'Sun's Watch - With Edwin Clarke as Jack Stanley... Mary's Sweetheart

The Brand of Fear - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack Vernon, Jr.

The Broncho Buster's Bride - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack Brandt

Buckskin Jack, the Earl of Glenmore - With Herbert Prior as Buckskin Jack ... what, was J. Warren Kerrigan busy or something?

The Circular Fence - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack Stevens... the Easterner

A Cowboy's Sacrifice - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack Redmond

The Cowpuncher - With Violet Mersereau as Jack's Sweetheart

Cured - With Mack Sennett as Happy Jack

Divorce - With Henry B. Walthall as Jack Evans

The Eastern Cowboy - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack Richards... the Eastern Cowboy

An Easterner's Sacrifice - With Jack Standing as Jack Chambers

Fate - With Phillips Smalley as Jack Norton

Foraging - With Maurice Costello as Jack Ainsley

The Gambler's Influence - With Jack Standing as Jack Harper... the Country Boy

He Who Laughs Last - With Pat (P.C.) Hartigan as Jack

Help Wanted - With Joseph Graybill as Jack

Her Inspiration - With Jack Ridgeway as Jack... the Backwoodsman

A Hero -- Almost - With Jack Regan as Jack

His Last Cent - With Maurice Costello as Jack Meyers

The House that Jack Built - With John (Jack) Halliday as Jack Winter

The Husking Bee - With Jack Stansfield as Jack Miller

In Flowers Paled - With James Kirkwood as Jack Northwood

In the Tepee's Light - With James Kirkwood as Jack Reed

Jack's Umbrella - With Jack Hopkins as Jack

The Little Spy - With Kenneth Casey as Jack Foshay... the Little Spy

The Love of the West - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack Whitcomb

Mae's Suitors - With John R. Cumpson as Jack... the Principal Suitor

A Message from Beyond - With James Morrison as Jack Morrison... the Son

The Mummy - With William Garwood as Jack

On Separate Paths - With Nick Cogley as Jack Kernan... Dance Hall Proprietor

Pals - With Bryant Washburn as Jack (unconfirmed)

A Polished Burglar - With Walter Hitchcock as Jack (unconfirmed)

The Quarrel on the Cliff - With Richard Neill as Jack

The Ranch Girl - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack

The Right Name, But the Wrong Man - With Hobart Bosworth as Jack Hargrave

The Rustler Sheriff - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack Beemis

The Sailor's Love Letter - With Herbert Prior as Jack... a Sailor

The Second Honeymoon - With Maurice Costello as Jack Merwin... The Husband

The Secret - With Arthur V. Johnson as Jack Stanhope

She Came, She Saw, She Conquered - With James Morrison as Jack Hally

The Sheriff's Sisters - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack Evans

Strategy - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack Merrill

A Summer Adventure - With Frank Allworth (as Frank Halworth) as Jack Zimmerman

The Summer Girl - With John R. Cumpson as Jack Stout

Taming a Tyrant - With Curtis Cooksey as Jack Hastings... the Sailor

Tested by the Flag - With William Humphrey as Jack Drew

Their Burglar - With Harry Benham as Jack

Through the Air - With King Baggot as Jack Baldwin

Till Death Do Us Part - With Hay Plumb as Jack

A Timely Lesson - With Charles Arthur as Jack Norton

A Western Waif - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack Porter

What Will Be, Will Be - With John (as Jack) Halliday as Jack... Widower Morgan's Son

The $2500 Bride - With George W. Beatty as Jack Thompson

All on Account of a Ring - With Robert Frazer as Jack

Apartment No. 13 - With John G. Adolfi as Jack Downs

An Assisted Elopement - With Jack Richardson as Jack Collins

At the Masquerade Ball - With George Lessey as Jack Van Rensellaer

The Baby - With Barry O'Moore as Jack Tweedles... a Costermonger

A Bad Investment - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack Collins

The Bank President's Son - With George Lessey as Jack... the Bank President's Son

The Barefoot Boy - With Georgie Stuart as Jack... the Barefoot Boy

The Beach Combers - With Jack W. Johnston as Jack Dubois

The Belle of Bar-Z Ranch - With Harry von (Van) Meter as Jack Howard

Bessie's Dream - With Tom Santschi as Jack

Betty's Bandit - With Harry A. Pollard as Jack Parsons... Tenderfoot Cowboy

The Blackened Hills - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack Upham

Blazing the Trail - With J. Barney Sherry as Jack Cooper

The Boomerang - With Jack Conway as Jack... John Curtis's Son

Brains and Brawn - With Herbert Rawlinson as Jack Smith... College Graduate

The Broken Ties - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack Nelson

Brothers Under the Skin - With Hector Dion as Jack Adams

Captain Barnacle's Legacy - With Hughie Mack as Jack Bunce

Captured by Bedouins - With J. J. Clark as Jack Barnett... Doris's Brother

Caught in a Flash - With King Baggot as, um...

The Convict's Return - With Maurice Steuart as Little Jack

The Counting of Time - With Jack Conway as Jack Conway... First Brother

The Cowboy's Adopted Child - With Tom Santschi as Jack Norton

The Cub Reporter - With Willis Secord as Jack Denning

A Cure for Jealousy - With Harry Myers as Jack Nevin... the Friend

Dad's Mistake - With William C. Dowlan as Jack Dowling... the Younger Sister's Sweetheart

The Danites - With Edward H. Philbrook as Jack Bates... a Miner

The Daughter of the Sheriff - With Carlyle Blackwell as Jack Bernard

Doggie's Debut - With Marie Eline as Jack... the Little Boy

Down Through the Ages - With J.(ack) J. Clark as Jack Lawrence / Mefres

The End of the Romance - With Al Ernest Garcia as Jack Lee

The 'Epidemic' in Paradise Gulch - With Al Ernest Garcia as Jack Knight

The Eternal Masculine - With Herbert Prior as Jack Wilson... the Husband

An Eventful Elopement - With James Morrison as Jack Moss... the Girl's Sweetheart

Fire and Straw - With John Halliday as Jack Burr

A Fish Story - With Edward Coxen as John (Jack) Stringer... the Fisherman

Foiling a Fortune Hunter - With Lamar Johnstone as Jack Spencer

A Four-Footed Hero - With Charles Bartlett as Jack

From the Four Hundred to the Herd - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack Stevens

The Gambler's Reformation - With (Mr.) George Gebhardt as Jack... The Gambler

A Game of Bluff - With Lee Moran as Jack Russell

The Girl in the Gingham Gown - With John G. Adolfi as Jack Bartling

The Girls and the Chaperone - With Lee Moran as Jack Davis... the Chaperone

The Grub Stake Mortgage - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack Burton

Hello, Central! - With Harry Myers as Jack Corbitt... the Business Man

Her Teddy Bear - With Hubert Dare as Jack

The Hindoo's Curse - With Herbert (L.) Barry as Jack Lowell

His First Skate - With Fred (Jack) Kohler as Jack Cole

His Step-Mother - With Herbert Prior as Jack Morton... the Artist

His Wife's Mother - With John Halliday (as Jack Halliday) as Jack Hancock... the Husband

Home and Mother - With William C. Dowlan as Jack

How the Cause Was Won - With Forrest Littlefield as Jack Smith... the Foreman

In a Garden - With Leland Benham as Jack... May's Childhood Sweetheart

In Quarantine - With John Steppling as Jack

The Indian Mutiny - With James Morrison as ...hoh boy... Jack Wilson, an Officer of the British Regiment in India

An Innocent Grafter - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack Burton

Into the Genuine - With W. Fontinelle as Jack Hendry

Jack and the Beanstalk - With Thomas Carnahan Jr. as The Beanstalk

Jack of Diamonds - With Jack Richardson as Jack of Diamonds

Jack, the Giant Killer - With Gladys Hulette as Jack

Jack's Burglar - With Richard Stanton as Jack

The Lady Barber of Roaring Gulch - With Eddie Lyons as Jack... Marcia's Sweetheart

The Librarian - With Harry Beaumont as Jack Gibbs

Lieutenant Daring Defeats the Middleweight Champion - With Jack Stokes as Jack Dent

The Lost Inheritance - With Carl Winterhoff as Jack Rowland

Love Finds the Way - With Leo Delaney as Horatio Jack Alger... The Lover

Love Me, Love My Dog - With Hector Dion as Jack

The Lovers' Signal - With Raymond (Ray) McKee as Jack Dawson

A Lucky Fall - With Edgar Jones as Jack Hollingsworth

Mates and Mis-Mates - With Guy Powell as Jack Allison

The Millionaire Cop - With King Baggot as Jack Gardner

Miss Simkins' Summer Boarder - With John Steppling as Jack Richards

Miss Taku of Tokyo - With Harry Benham as Jack... the Son

A Modern Atalanta - With E. K. Lincoln as Jack Hall... First Suitor

The Mountain Daisy - With Jack Conway as Jack Spencer

Natoosa - With Bob Burns as Jack Bangs... the Cowboy

The New Physician - With Arthur V. Johnson as Jack Harrison... a Young Physician

The New Ranch Foreman - With Edgar Jones as Jack Walton... Renegade

Now Watch the Professor - With William Bowman as Slippery Jack... the Crook

The Obligation - With Jack Conway as Jack

The Old Sweetheart - With James Kirkwood as Jack... the Rejected Lover

The Only Woman in Town - With Joseph Belmont as Jack (unconfirmed)

Petticoat Perfidy - With Herbert Prior as Jack Waltham

The Poisoned Pool - With J. W. Johnston as Jack Rice

A Prisoner of the Harem - With J. J. Clark as Jack Howard

The Real Estate Fraud - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Trump... I mean, Jack Stevens

Reconciled by Burglars - With Donald MacKenzie as Jack

The Repeater - With Harry Benham as Jack... the Repeater

Revenge - With George Reehm as Jack Carroll

Saved at the Altar - With Joseph Levering as Jack Dunbar

The Scapegoat - With William Duncan as Jack Wright... Nellie's Brother

The Story of a Kiss - With Edward L. Hemmer as Jack

The Tenderfoot Foreman - With Gilbert M. Anderson as Jack Reed

The Tenderfoot's Troubles - With Edward Coxen as Jack

Texan Twins - With Crane Wilbur as Jack AND Jim... the Texan Twins

The Thief - With Tom Moore as Jack Brown... the Bookkeeper

Trapped by Fire - With Charles Inslee as Jack AND Bob... Brothers

The Troubled Trail - With Bob Burns as Happy Jack... the Rancher

The Trysting Tree - With Glen White as Jack

Two Men and a Girl - With Rex De Rosselli as Jack Read

Two of a Kind - With Herbert Prior as Jack Morton

Under False Colors - With George Lessey as Jack Brookfield

The Undergraduate's Visitor - With H. O. Martinek as Jack

Value Received - With William C. Cooper as Jack Johnson... the Grown-Up Son

The Wager - With George Larkin as Jack de Puyster

A Wasted Sacrifice - With Robert Thornby as Jack Martin... Gambler

The Widow's Claim - With William R. Dunn as Jack... the Gambler

Won by Waiting - With Harry Myers as Jack Murray... a Clubman

£1,000 Reward - With Harold Heath as Jack Strong

$1,000,000 Pearl Mystery - With Harold Heath as Jack Dacre

All Rivers Meet at Sea - With Thomas Chatterton as Jack

The Alternative - With Paul Scardon as Jack Bolt

An Amateur Animal Trainer - With Sidney Bracey as Mr. Anchovy... I mean, Jack Crane, an Amateur Animal Trainer

And the Watch Came Back - With Harold F. Larkin as ... Jack

Any Port in a Storm - With Charles Bennett as Jack

The Hidden Message - With Richard Jenson as Jack Morton... Kidnapper

A Beauty Parlor Graduate - With Harry Benham as Jack... a Rising Young Lawyer

The Better Way - With Jack Hopkins as Jack Denver... the Husband

Big Hearted Jim - With Edward (F.) Roseman as Jack Mitchell... Aline's Brother

The Birthday Cake - With Irving Cummings as Jack Gladwin

The Birthmark - With Joseph Holland as Black Jack

The Blight of Wealth - With David (H.) Thom(p)son as Donald Trump Jack... a Handsome Young Quarryman

The Cabby and the Demon - With Paul Scardon as Jack

The Call of the Heart - With Earl Metcalfe as Jack Ames

Circumstances Make Heroes - With Richard Neill as Jack... Father's Choice

The Comedy Team's Strategy - With Marshall Neilan as Jack... an Actor

The Crimson Stain - With Frank Newburg as Jack Sibley... Maj. Sibley's Son

The Dancer's Redemption - With Wheeler Oakman as Jack Wilde... a Gringo

A Dangerous Wager - With Carlyle Blackwell as Jack... a Young Westerner

Deception - With George Holt as Jack Trent

The Devil Within - With Jack Hopkins as Jack Walker... the Son

A Divorce Scandal - With Marian Murray as Mrs. Jack Morris... Divorcée

Draga, the Gypsy - With Robert Z. Leonard as Jack Harlow

An Eastern Flower - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Harmonica Jack

Edwin Masquerades - With Edward Dillon as Jack

Emancipated Women - With George Larkin as Jack

The Evil Thereof - With Richard Neill as Jack Dolby... the Shop Proprietor's Son

The Exile - With John Ince as Jack Melrose

A False Friend - With Henry King as Jack Winters... THE FALSE FRIEND

The False Order - With William Stowell as Jack Wright... the Young Engineer

The Flaming Forge - With Wheeler Oakman as Jack... the Cobbler's Son

For Her Brother's Sake - With Henry King as Jack Winters Winston

For His Loved One - With Lamar Johnston(e) as Jack Gurley

Four Queens and a Jack - With Eddie Lyons as Jack... the Boy

From Ignorance to Light - With Edwin Carewe as Jack Hardy

From the Beyond - With Jack W. Johnston as Jack Pearl... a Journalist

The Gold Brick - With Palmer Bowman as Jack Jones... the Reporter

Good-For-Nothing Jack - With Jack Conway as Jack

The Great Game - With Richard (C.) Travers as Jack Pelham... the Son

He Couldn't Lose - With Harry Pelham Benham as Jack... a Clerk

The Henpecked Hod Carrier - With Riley Chamberlin as Jack... the Hen-Pecked Hod Carrier

Her Wedding Bell - With William A. Carroll as Jack... the Young Woman's Brother

His Friend, Jimmie - With Eddie Lyons as Jack

His House in Order; or, The Widower's Quest - With Harry Northrup as Jack Manning... Florence's Fiancé

His Weakness Conquered - With Edwin August as Jack Hamilton

The Honor of the Regiment - With John (maybe Jack) Ford as Jack

The House of Temperley - With Charles Maude as Cap'n Jack Temperley

A Husband's Mistake - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack Worthington

In the End - With Jack Conway as Flash Jack... the Lover

Jack - Avec Villeneuve as Jack Malheureux jeune homme, victime de la vie... et avec Mademoiselle Ugazio as Jack tendre des premières années (as Mlle. Ugazio)

Jack and the Beanstalk - With Leland Benham as Jack

Jack Meets His Waterloo - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack Kirken

Jane Marries - With John Harlow as Jack

Jane of Moth-Eaten Farm - With William E. Shay as Jack Harrington... Jane's Sweet Heart

The Juvenile Kidnappers - With Lloyd (V.) Hamilton as Jack's Father

Kentucky Foes - With Robert Emmett (Bobbie) Tansey as Little Jack Amsden

The Kiss of Salvation - With Richard Stanton as Handsome Jack

Kissing Cup - With Cecil Mannering as Jack Heatherington

Lieutenant Daring and the Labour Riots - With Percy Moran as Lt. Jack Daring

The Life Saver - With Arthur Ashley as Jack... the Lifeguard

The Little Mother of Black Pine Trail - With J. W. Johnston as Jack Clayton... RCMP

Love and Lavallieres - With Augustus Carney as Jack

Love Incognito - With Minor Watson as Jack Fuller

Love is Blind - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack Berryman

Love, the Winner - With Winifred Greenwood as Mabel Cosgrove... Jack's Sister

The Man Who Dared - With J. W. Johnston as Jack Stone... RCMP's Wife's Brother

Marriage by Aeroplane (AKA Les Fiancés de L'Air) - With Léonce Perret as Jack Marriott (USA version)

The Mouse and the Lion - With Richard Leslie as Jack

Never Forget the Ring - With Fred Paul as Jack Goldboy... the Father

The New Pupil - With Arthur Housman as Jack Seymour

Nobody's Love Story - With J. W. Johnston as Jack

The Photograph and the Blotter - With Harry Beaumont as Jack... Elsie's Fiancée

Physical Culture on the Quarter Circle V Bar - With William Duncan as Jack

The Pride of the South - With J. Barney Sherry as Capt. Jack Wendell

The Railroad Inspector's Peril - With Harry Southard as Jack Ballard... the Son

The Ranchman's Blunder - With Brinsley Shaw as Jack Harrington

The Redemption of Railroad Jack - With Tom Santschi as Railroad Jack

The Reformed Outlaw - With Jesse Robinson as Gentleman Jack... the Outlaw

Retribution - With Raymond Bloomer as Jack... Imogene's Fiancée

Roses for Rosie - With Walter Stull as Jack

Roses of Yesterday - With Jack Nelson as Jack... John Ralston's Nephew

Signals in the Night - With Harry Lorraine as Jack Dennison

The Soul of a Rose - With Edwin Carewe as Jack Bellingham... the Rose's Sweetheart

Soul to Soul - With J. W. Johnston as Jack Cave

The Stranger -With Raoul (A.E.) Walsh as Jack Nobel

The Stronger - With J. W. Johnston as Jack

The Struggle - With Jack Conway as Jack McComb

The Tale of a Hat - With Eddie Lyons as Jack Newton

Terrors of the Jungle - With Wheeler Oakman as Jack Milbank

That College Life - With Louis Thomas as Jack Martin... Collegian

Their Masterpiece - With Wallace Reid as Jack Sanders

The Trail of the Itching Palm - With John Steppling as Jack Peabody

The Trail of the Silver Fox - With Jack W. Johnston as Sergeant Jack Daniels of the D.R.U.N.K. R.N.W.M.P.

Tricks of the Trade - With Harry T. Morey as Jack Breen... a Fake Beggar!!! ...ooh!  And with Joseph Baker as Jack Williams

The Turn of the Tide - With Robert Z. Leonard as Jack... the Sailor

Uncle as Cupid - With Edward Viner as Jack Graham

Uncle's Namesakes - With David H. Thompson as Jack... a Needy Young Husband

The War Correspondent - With Harry (F.) Millarde as Jack Fisher... a Young Reporter

When Mary Married - With Robert Drouet as Jack Wanamaker

When Paths Diverge - With Thomas H. MacDonald as Jack Cotterell

The Will-Be Weds - With John Steppling as Jack Collins

The Wizard of the Jungle - With Jack Bonavita as... Jack Bonavita!  Wotta co-inky-dink!

Zaza the Dancer - With Fred Paul as Jack Horton

The Acid Test - With Thomas R. Mills as Jack Hurston

Allah 3311 - With O. A. C. Lund as Bond... Jack Bond... the Young Author, that is

The Angel of the Gulch - With Vester Pegg as Jack Dalton

The Antique Brooch - With Marc McDermott as Jack Morley

At Mexico's Mercy - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack Desmond... the Superintendent of the Mine

Beyond the City - With Jack Richardson as Jack Rance... a Cadet

Branscombe's Pal - With Arthur Holmes-Gore as Jack Branscombe

The Broken Barrier - With Ed(ward) Coxen as Jack Hillery

Broken Vows - With Frank Holland as Jack

The Call Back - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack Saunders

A Can of Baked Beans - With The Turner Twins as Jack Morton... and Bill

Chest of Fortune - With George Hollister Jr. as Jack Wellington as a Boy (part One)... and with Guy Coombs as Jack Wellington as an Adult (part Two)

The Chief of Police - With Douglas Gerrard as Jack Keenan

Closed at Ten - With Harry (A.) Pollard as Jack Bandle

The Conqueror - With Bryant Washburn as Jack

Conscience - With Irving Cummings as Jack Gleason... Bank Teller

Courting Betty's Beau - With Richard Neill as Jack

The Cross in the Cacti - With Jack W. Johnston as Jack (unconfirmed)

De zigeunerin - With Theo Frenkel Jr. as Jack Mortman

The Deadline - With Boyd Marshall as Jack

The Delayed Special - With Billy Gillette as Jack Lane... Ruth's Brother

The Detective's Sister - With Carlyle Blackwell as Jack Hurley... Gentleman Burglar

A Diamond in the Rough - With Guy Coombs as Jack Grim

Dilligencekusken fra san Hilo - Mitt Peter S. Andersen als Jack... Saw Mill Owner

Disillusioned - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack Vernon

The District Attorney's Brother - With John Ford as Jack... Frank's Twin Brother

A Double Elopement - With Dan Mason as Jack Smalley... the Widower

The Dream Child - With Edward Coxen as Jack Williams

Duty - With Robert Frazer as Jack Welby

The Elevator Man - With Harry Benham as Jack... Rose's Sweet Heart

Elsie's Uncle - With Sidney Mason as Jack

Etta of the Footlights - With Gladden James as Jack Chester