Auteur Watch - Oumarou Ganda

Well, if nothing else, you can see his Cabascabo on the YouTubes!  That's something, right?  ...betcha you ain't gonna watch it!

The Sobchak-Bot is Back

...should I start with my Trump musings first?  Okay.  Whelp, so far so good.  Some keep speculating that Sean Spicer will be gone tomorrow, some say he'll stay for another four to eight years.  I think New Spicey's in this for the long haul!  This is God's work he's doing, after all.  Don't forget!  Also, the rumor that leaked that Trump was thinking of firing Mueller, the former head of the FBI that's now in charge of the investigation into Russia determining the outcome of our presidential election.  Now, if you're on Facebook and you're pro-Trump, you're of course thinking to yourself, show me some proof!  Well, I would... but you probably wouldn't believe it anyway.  Now, usually, when we the Little People who Shouldn't be in Charge of Big People Things, public or private sector, hear that Trump's thinking about doing something... BOOM!  Within a couple of days, said Trump Thoughts become World Facts... none spring to mind at the moment.  But I'm pretty sure that that's how it goes down in Trumpland and the real world.  I mean, it would be a sign of weakness otherwise, right?
But like the rest of you, I'm waiting to see those Trump tax returns.  You know, just to compare them to McCain's tax returns.  Trump's got at least eleven homes, right?  Unfortunately, those Trump tax returns are under some serious lock and key, and always will be, and there's nothing we can do about it.  Trump commands far too much respect amongst our intelligence community employees, the State Department, AND the IRS, which is why those documents will never see the light of day...
...nothing yet?  Okay.  Well, it must be true!  All these high-ranking government employees just love Trump too much!  As well as all the hackers in the world, and Trump's fellow business douchebags, because the truth would be far too devastating for the American people to handle.  Incidentally, ... ah, skip it.  Let's get to the real news of the week.  As predicted, the latest installment of the Transformers franchise is #1 this week.  Now, maybe I'm crazy, but there were a couple of ads that said that this one is the last "episode" or "chapter" or installment of the Transformers franchise.  On the other hand, this is the age of Trump, and alternative facts.  So, I go to Michael Bay's IMDb page and... BOOM!!!!  There's an entry here for Transformers 7... apparently, the cinematic experience is so powerful, we're just going to skip right over a sixth installment to get right to lucky seven.  Interesting bit of trivia about the latest Transformers movie: both John Goodman and Steve Buscemi were in Barton Fink.  However, they didn't have a scene together... which leads me to believe that they were both playing (two halves of) the same character, kinduva Fight Club type deal, if you will.
...and THAT'S IT!  The latest Transformers movie is the only debut this week.  Oh, and... stay tuned for a Transformers prequel as well.  That's right... it's just like "Better Call Saul," except that the entire cast will be selected by both Maxim and Cosmopolitan magazine... or maybe Marie Claire for the ladies?  Is Oxygen magazine still around?  I don't think they survived.  It was for those fitness enthusiasts who thought that Shape magazine wasn't skanky enough.  THAT one's still around, that I know for sure.
And that's it.  So I guess the only question now is, which films are going to turn a profit?  Too early to tell for Transformers; it's going to take more than one American weekend to do so, clearly.  It doesn't have the populist groundswell of, say, 2008's The Dark Knight.  Also too early for Cars 3.  But Wonder Woman looks like it's going to make a profit!  It's doing so well that Lynda Carter might actually want to appear in one of the upcoming Justice League movies. (Spoiler Alert: she wants to, but they haven't asked her yet.  Also, her demands are probably a little unreasonable.  I mean, a Costco fruit platter AND Fiji(TM) bottled water?  Puh-leeze.)  The indie-type hits 47 Meters Down, All Eyez on Me and Rough Night are all profitable.  Pirates of the Caribbean 5?  I'd start to sweat a little.  Tom Cruise's The Mummy?  I'd start to sweat a lot.  Captain Underpants is probably not profitable yet.  They'd like to at least get over 100 million domestically, which might not happen.  And finally, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 is so profitable, they've already begun work on installments three and four simultaneously.  You know, like the Matrix movies, and something before those!  They'd get them done faster, but they're still trying to figure out the soundtrack.  You know how it is.  Damn AMPAS!!!

Auteur Watch - Rod Gailes

Well, it's really time to call me Cynical.  I've probably used and abused that opening already.  "You know, call me Cynical, but..."  Time to make it official, because I've got issues with you, the IMDb!  All these bios start the same way: "He or she is a writer and director known for..."  And then, they list three or four titles NO ONE'S EVER HEARD OF.  No one's heard of, or they just sound too generic, there's no reviews, there's nothing on YouTube... okay, there's one thing on YouTube.  With UNDER 100 VIEWS!!!!!
But, to be fair, Mr. Gailes has ventured out onto that silver screen.  Two features we know of: the first is 2008's Camouflage.  Alas, no external reviews, no IMDb user ratings, two of the actors have thumbnail pics... ONE OF WHICH is Rod Gailes.  The other feature is called 10 Things I Hate About You... sorry, that's Gil Junger's 1999 updating of the Shakespeare classic The Taming of the Shrew.  Don't even get me started on that... okay, first of all, how exactly do you go about taming a rodent?  The only instance I know of is the rats that were specially bred for Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade... you know, so they wouldn't bite anyone and give them the F... FRICKIN' PLAGUE!!!  And if you do actually tame a shrew, how long can you take that on the road before it just up and dies?  Six months?  Eleven?  What's the risk slash reward we're looking at here?  Just stick with a flea circus, because fleas never die.  Even if you squish them with a big flat rock... okay, that slows 'em down pretty good, but other than that, fleas are forever.  Fleas and diamonds.
Incidentally, there's a "10 Things I Hate About You" TV show... dang!  Two seasons?  Maybe the answer's in there someplace.  If your show's about to be cancelled, the shrew will suddenly find a sympathy groom.  Kinda move things along, you know.  No, Gailes' other feature for the multiplex was 6 Things I Never Told You.  Again, no external reviews, no IMDb user ratings... so you could possibly be the first!  Sign up today!  But more importantly, there's SIX directors!  Six short stories, six directors.  A modern, HD update of Aria, let's say.  Sometimes you just gota... gotta go with what you're good at.  If one feature film takes the wind out of your sails, just stick with the shorts.  Don't get fed up with the industry entire and flat out walk away!  ...although you might as well, if you're just doing shorts.

Box Office 6-18-17

While we're still waiting for the IMDb's Top 10 numbers to come out, I forgot to take a moment to reflect on the passing of Roger Moore.  He was a controversial figure, to be sure... some say that Sean Connery's their all-time favourite James Bond, some say George Lazenby.  I say Peter Sellers in the ORIGINAL Casino Royale.  But if you count them all up, one does have to admit that Moore appeared in the most Bond films.  I mean, that's just math.  Great, provocative titles like The Spy Who Loved Me, Live and Let Die and The Cannonball Run.
As for our current president, well... I hate to seem like a partisan, but we did just watch Robert Redford's documentary about the 40th Anniversary of All the President's Men.  Spoiler alert: Dustin Hoffman actually showed up for it!  Of course, Redford tricked him and made him think he was doing an appearance for the 30th Anniversary of Ishtar.  Anyway, the BIG question is: how is this president different from all other presidents named Nixon?  Welp, for one thing, Nixon actually said in his final address to the nation that all this Watergate nonsense has gotten so bad... HOW BAD IS IT?... it's so bad that he won't be able to get his legislative agenda done for the nation.  Therefore he will resign before getting impeached, then get the next guy to grant him a full pardon... something like that.  A full pardon for all crimes past and future, for all perpetuity, as long as men and women live and breathe, throughout the known universe and far, far beyond.  Trump has no such agenda for the American people, so he thinks he'll stay!  He'll stay until Putin cuts him that big check.  Trump doesn't need it, of course... but it is a pretty big check.  It's like how the Kardashians say "Oh, it's not about the money."  On the other hand... it is.
...okay, looks like the numbers just come in.  As expected, the latest Pixar juggernaut is #1.  This time, it's Cars 3.  And this time, the girl cars are flashing more than just those little lights!  Ooh baby.  As UN-expected, however, was the low take that first week.  All involved were honestly expecting much more than 53 million dollars, really.  Well, thank God those more grateful international markets have opened up for cinema, like Saipan and the Southern Langue d'oc part of France... oh, they're actually working on an Incredibles sequel?  You'd think they'd want to get on that much sooner!  Well, you know that Brad Bird.  Ever the artisan, has to wait until the script is just right.  So Goldilocks. (TM)  If I were more on top of my game, I actually would copyright and trademark that... ah, what's the point.  I'll never get the Hipsters to do my bidding.  But you'll probably hear that at some point.  "So I was faced with the ultimate dilemma: bacon-chocolate combo, or just bacon?  I was very Goldilocks about it.  Too much or just right?"
Our second deubt... debut this week comes in at #3 and it's about Tupac Shakur, called All Eyez on Me.  Directed by Bernard Boom.  And to the tune of 27 million or so, that's hard to argue!  A lotta butts in the multiplex seats, a lotta eyes on this guy!  So, here's my two thoughts.  One, it's clearly an incomplete telling of Tupac's story because no one's showing Dan Aykroyd's part in all this.  Also, Dan wanted to play himself in the movie, and he was like Colin Quinn with Crocodile Dundee 2.  He came in with his own script, wanted to direct, wanted to give brother Peter a prominent role.  Clearly, at some point, the film's producers told the Aykroyds to, and I quote, "Get the hell outta here, you're nothing but trouble."  And second, I'll be the first to admit that I'm no student of Tupac's work.  I don't have the whole Tupac zeitgeist in my brain yet, and I am white, so I still to this day get my small share of white privilege.  I could get more if I played golf and went to church with the right people, but I made all the wrong choices in this life, and continue to do so to this day.  But I did come across the lyrics to a song Tupac co-wrote with... someone.  It's called "Me Against the World."  And the chorus goes something like this: "It's just me against the world, baby.  I've got nothin' to lose."  Now, maybe I'm just cynical and or jealous... jeal-ical?  Cynic-ous?  Anyway, I read that and couldn't help but think to myself, well... you've got ONE thing to lose!  I think Chris Rock also had some thoughts on that.
We're halfway there!  The third debut this week is called 47 Meters Down.  Um, Jaws called...
And the last debut this week... you know, when you reach a certain level in showbiz when you're a comedian, there comes a time when you start to pay it forward.  Amy Schumer's already done that with Rachel Feinstein and Mark Normand, as the Google SmartSearch informs me.  Kevin Hart is also mentoring some comedians.  Well, Amy Poehler's "Broad City" thespians have their own movie this weekend!  It's kinda like Bridesmaids or that one with Judd Apatow's wife and Rebel Wilson... How to Be Single, that's the one.  When I was growing up, we had films like Crimes of the Heart and The Linguini Incident.  But this is 2017 and movie studios have to push that R rating to its absolute breaking point, so we get a movie like Rough Night... ooh!  It's basically an episode of "Girls"... something like that.  Oh, I'm totally down with the here and now.  And yet, it feels like the cast of "Girls" AND of Rough Night seriously need to be broken up by a revamped version of the Sherman Anti-Trust Act.  Maybe it needs a new name!  After all, trust is an important part of any relationship; maybe it should be called the Anti-Corporate Greed Act.  And speaking of corporate greed, the Wall Street Journal, in between its campaign of softening Trump headlines, mentioned that Amazon is about to gobble up the Whole Foods market chain.  Alas, it probably means I still have to drive to Seattle to get my daily order of cheese mashed potatoes... where was I?  Oh, right.  Because this project is tangentially connected to Lorne Michaels, I won't badmouth it too much.  Probably gotta run!! ...damn, just thought of something.  They had an old episode of SCTV on DVD where they said "And now, our musical guest, Rough Trade!"  ...egg-zactly.  I never heard of them either.

Auteur Watch - Antoine Fuqua

My God!  Someone I've heard of!  And not just because he was in a documentary about GoodFellas, talking about its influence.  (Spoiler alert: very influential)
But it wasn't always near the top of the A-list for this guy.  He had to claw his way to the top, doing some things he might later regret.  And not just Training Day or Bait.  Doug Hutchison, STOP CALLING!!!  A video of your wedding night is NOT an A-list project, okay?  Make it yourself and put it on YouTube like everyone else.  No, Fuqua had to cut his teeth on something called "Inside Out," along with Alexander Payne and... others, I'm sure.  I thought Bernard Rose was already established by that time!  Go figure.  Well, it was just that strong a project, apparently.
Then of course there's the music videos.  David Fincher did them.  Adam Bernstein did 'em, Anton Corbijn's done way way too many of 'em.  I hate to tell the IMDb what to do... I know, not really, right?  But here goes anyway.  In the future, for directors, how about a new section?  Take Anton Corbijn's page for example.  You've got about all the categories that one person can have: Self, Thanks, Producer, Cinematographer, Visual Effects, Self... and of course, Director.  Well, in Anton's case, those darned old pesky silver screen releases seem to be buried amongst a bunch of shorts.  How about a new category called "Director - Shorts" or "Director - Music Videos"?  Some would argue that they should be separate, and not just me.  Also, I seem to have found a web page or two that point to nothing.  How about getting on top of those as well?  If it were MY web site, I'd be taking hella flack for that.  Hella.
So I guess we should go by decade on this one.  So, which do you think is Fuqua's favourite decade?  Would it be the go-go '90s that we're currently nostalgizing?  Dee-Lite and The Spitfire Grill?  The rise of the indie and the fall of Rob Reiner?  I mean, seriously, the guy lost his touch after... The Princess Bride or something.  Does Fuqua miss the hard work and the obscurity?  Or is it the 2000s, when Training Day vaulted him squarely into the A-list?  Had some trouble staying there, though.  Alas, his revisionist King Arthur wasn't terribly profitable, and he had to work with Mark Wahlberg once or twice.
Or maybe it's the 2010s?  A chance to make a move into documentaries... you know, along with Scorsese and Spielberg, plus bringing that Ken Burns-type touch to your work.  Of course, the industry's changing so much.  Doing something for Amazon and or Netflix is now on everyone's to-do list.  Maybe producing's a little more fun.  He's got a "Training Day" series now and something called "Ice."  Hey Ronald Bass, Blood Diamond called... wants its plot back.  But here's the question I want answered.  Fuqua directed a music video for Prince called "The Most Beautiful Girl in the World."  Who did Prince find to play the part?  I'm sure he had a say in it.  He ain't messing with no Uggo's, especially not in the afterlife now.  Well, the internet is nothing if not an engine to answer such questions.  And the IMDb says... inconclusive?!  Ladies and gentlemen, this is the biggest failure since Al Capone's Vault.  Probably more so.  Are you telling me that Prince is going to let us mere Mortals use our imagination when it comes to picturing the most beautiful girl in the world?  Well, thankfully, that's where YouTube comes in.  Turns out it's kind of like how they casted the girl parts... roles for that George Michael video, "I Want Your Sex."  Get a couple Asians with nice glutes, get a Playboy photographer and a bed with a nice sheet with good folds in it and call it a day.  Ah, directing.  The best job in the world.

Trexit

Booyah-k'sha!  As you probably know from the attached pic, that is Ali G. appearing with a certain well-known businessman with a red tie... oops!  Cut off his head by accident.  Seems like I'm always doing that with photos.  Harder to get away with these days in the digital age.  Wonder how often that comes up?  A guy asks you to take a picture of him and his whole douche-y family, then he looks at it on the screen of the camera and or phone and says "...okay, now you see how the picture's all fuzzy?  It's out of focus!  TAKE ANOTHER ONE!"
...where was I?  Oh yeah.  Just a few political brain farts before we dive into the numbers.  As you know, Britain's current PM Theresa May had a special election a few years earlier.  Apparently, she misunderestimated her party's popularity, and wanted to increase her seat majority.  The plan totally backfired.  And Republicans in this country don't have the opportunity to say "See that?  Look around this world of yours, Liberals, and witness the march of conservatism around the world.  WE shall overcome this time!"  Not a peep.  The Pussy-Grabber, World's Worst Landlord in Chief called it "surprising."  As for Comey's testimony, well, it finally happened and wasn't sabotaged like I thought it would be, with Steve Bannen streaking through the room, screaming "THERE'S A BOMB!!! THERE'S A BOMB!!!! EVERYBODY OUT!!!"  I kinda wanted to read Kayleigh Mack-a-ninny's tweet about how she loves it when this kind of thing pisses off liberals.  Yeah but...
Okay, enough of the real world.  How's the box office this week?  Well, whatever adventure Wonder Woman is on in the movies, it hits the #1 spot yet again.  No one thought it could happen twice... something like that.  Insert your own lewd joke here.  But the movies for the guys aren't far behind, so don't worry.  At #2, it's the #1 Tom Cruise movie this week, and it's called The Mummy.  However, judging from the ads, it's not your grandfather's mummy.  They keep showing this chick with two eyes!  I mean, she has eyes with two pupils.  Guh-ross.  You know, baby, when I look into your eye, I see two limpid pools of blue.  How messed up is that?  I hate to say it... I know, not really, right?  Just a manner of speech, suh!  But this new mummy comes from a long tradition of movie villains, dating all the way back to Suicide Squad.  I'm assuming that's it, because this new mummy seemed an awful lot like that... that... one character in S.Squ.  You might know the one I'm talking about!  The role played by that girl?  Who was in that thing?  I think it was June Moone slash Enchantress.  The one character that's 7,000 years old, able to break into Iran's CIA equivalent in a single bound and steal their most sensitive documents, that kind of thing.
Meanwhile, in more mortal-type news, one of the reviews was ragging on how 54-year old Tom Cruise is playing the same old role he once played in movies like Cocktail and Top Gun.  I try to look on the positive side of things and say, hey!  Can't blame a guy for trying!  Cary Grant hung in there for as long as he could!  Let's say Charade was his last chance at wooing a younger gal.  And Audrey Hepburn was only 25 years younger!  Oh, there's all kinda historical precedent and sh... stuff.  I'm sure Tom Cruise is way more buff, of course.  As for the people behind the camera, well, we've got Cruise's latest collaborators.  There's Christopher McQuarrie of The Usual Suspects fame, and you've got several members of the J. J. Abrams camp.  Why, this might even be a Bad Robot co-production! ...nope.  My dreams deffered again.
Meanwhile, in low-budge horror film news, something called It Comes at Night debuts at #6.  Which probably won't slow Joel Edgerton down any time soon; he's still on his way to either an Oscar(TM)(R) or playing the lead in that much awaited Conan O'Brien biopic.  But what about the rest of the cast and crew?  How are they supposed to go in with their agent to the big movie studio and negotiate a proper deal, and say that they were in that new hit movie?  "It debuted at #6!" Ned Tanen's relative will say, dryly, looking over their glasses at you.  How do you spin that into gold?
And our last debut this week is a story of a Marine and her dog called Megan Leavey.  You might have seen ads for it on the IMDb, for one.  Those ads seem to have dried up now... now that it's bombing.  Well, you know how it is.  Us Americans, you know, we support our troops... just not always at the box office.
Okay, one last brain fart about President Pussy-Grabber MacDouchebag.  He pulled America out of the Paris Climate Agreement... insert filthy joke here... and he justified it by saying, among other terribly newsworthy things, "I was elected to represent the citizens of Pittsburgh, not Paris."  Three thoughts about this.  First of all, I would be remiss as an unrepentant movie buff to offer my improvement.  I mean, he could have said "I was elected to represent the citizens of Paris, Texas... not Paris, France."  Much more clever.  Then, of course, being Trump, he'd have to add "And what's the deal with French women not shaving their armpits?  How gross is that?  It's like they've got extra vaginas under their arms.  So disgusting.  So disgusting, folks."  Second thought: Pittsburgh is actually with Paris.  And third, I couldn't help but think to myself... then go to Wikipedia to confirm it... what's the population of Pittsburgh?  The city proper's about 300,000, the whole metropolitan area about 2.3 million.  So Trump represents about 2.3 million Americans, therefore.  But isn't the whole country about 300 million?  What about the other 297.7 million Americans, Mr. President?  Don't you represent them, too?
This brain fart was brought to you by BranePhart.  BranePhart!  Also available in chocolate.  Also, get ready, America, because come February 15th, 2018, "BranePhart: Mall Cop Part 3" will be hitting theaters in IMAX and... regular theaters.  Whatever the non-IMAX ones are called.

Auteur Watch - Shirley Frimpong-Manso

I am serious, and you can call her Shirley!
Now, is it just me, or is there a recurring theme running through her work?  I mean, look at these titles - Adams Apples and Potato Potahto... I mean, LOOK AT THEM!!!!!  Oops, sorry about shouting.  Do two titles a recurring theme make?  Anyway, she's covered about as wide of a ground as you can: fruit of the trees, and veggies of the ground.  What more does one need?  Well, there's of course the perfect picture.  Something every director shoots for... maybe not each time out, but at least every other time.  Or is that just Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom?  Those indie experiments between blockbusters are getting more high profile than ever.  Still, getting that perfect picture, one that unites the masses and the hoity-toity critics... in Shirley's case, it was called Picture Perfect... I'm sorry, that's the 1997 Jennifer Aniston classic.  No, in Shirley's case, it was a film actually called The Perfect Picture.  A rather audacious title choice for a director's first picture.  And yet, where's the external reviews?  And why do none of the actors have thumbnail pictures?  IMDb does that now.  Let that be a lesson to you young filmmakers... there's a lesson in there somewhere, but I just haven't figured out where yet.

This Just In: HBO No Longer Believes in Free Speech

Today we say goodbye to a living legend.  No one saw this coming, but HBO has put on a lot of weight lately, and plus they recently fired the maid, so it was just HBO all alone in that big Beverly Hills mansion.  They were behind on the rent, the place was falling apart, they were supposed to call the exterminators... or was the maid supposed to do that?  Hmm.  Anyway, the maid was fired, so it didn't happen at all. 
You get the idea.  But it's a different era now.  HBO is now a wing of Amazon.  You've seen the ads; watch Game of Thrones while you shop for Ivanka Trump's latest book on Amazon.  And Amazon customers are a little more easily offended than HBO customers these days... especially if the package isn't on time.  "It SAID that the package arrived at the station today!  So... WHERE is it?" a typical Amazon customer at home will ask the delivery guy or gal.  Do NOT offend these people.  TREAD LIGHTLY with these people.  It's a fad, like Farmville; maybe it'll just go away in a few years, maybe it will only get worse.  No one knows with these things.
But apparently Bill Maher got into some hot water over the dreaded n-word.  I haven't been completely briefed yet on the incident, and I'm sure the FCC is just chomping at the bit to chomp down on a comedian, and soon.  They were close with Colbert a while back.  Obscenity's a tricky thing these days.  I mean, forget about that orange obscenity currently in the White House for a second.  There's, of course, Jim Comey's testimony coming up this week, and the White House is apparently trying to stop him from testifying in front of Congress.  Boy, that must be some testimony!  I'm pretty sure it's not going to be obscene, but how bad could it be?  I mean on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood... okay, VeggieTales, for something more recent, and 10 being Donald Trump's tax returns, how bad would Comey testifying be?  How damaging to Russia?  An eight?  A nine?  So many questions, but again, I'm forgetting my place.  For a social commentator, I make a great movie critic.  Okay, not that great.
But as expected, the latest incarnation of Wonder Woman was #1, despite her appearance in the much hated court case / cinematic crime Batman v. Superman.  Oh, this gal Gadot is going places.  Apparently she's too busy now to keep doing the Fast and Furious movies.  Shows you what I know, right?  Did they kill off the Gisele character?
In a distant second place... and I'm just going by the numbers, no offense intended to DreamWorks Animation.  I mean, $100 million for first place, $23.5 million for second.  That really is just math.  It's the long awaited Captain Underpants movie.  Seems to be more fun than the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series, and certainly far more commercial.  The full title is Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie.  And with a performance like this weekend, certainly won't be the last.  I'm sure they're already putting the finishing touches on the screenplay of The First Epic Sequel, followed by The First Epic Trilogy.  After that, I'm assuming some kind of a reboot.

Short Reviews - June 2017

The Face at the Window - With Boyd Marshall as Jack Watson

The Fatal Step - With Edmund Mortimer as Jack Raymond

The Feud - With George Larkin as Jack McBride

The Final Impulse - With Edward Coxen as Jack... the Foreman's Assistant

The Final Test - With Boyd Marshall as Dr. Jack Carr

The Fringe on the Glove - With R. C. Hadley as Jack Dare

From the Flames - With J. Morris Foster as Jack... Gray's Son

A Frontier Mother - With Cyril Gottlieb as Jack Hull

The Genius - With Dell Henderson as John (Jack) Spencer

A Gentleman from Kentucky - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack Randolph

The Golden Ladder - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack

The Hate That Withers - With Harry Millarde as Jack Worthington... Iola's Fiancé

The Higher Law - With William Nigh as Jack Byrnes... A Detective

His Little Pal - With F. P. Hamer as Jack

The Horse Thief - With Gayne Whitman / Alfred Vosburgh as Jack Raynor

The House Across the Street - With Allan Forrest as Jack... the Mayor's Secretary

How to Do It and Why; or, Cutey at College - With Wally Van as Jack Sportington aka Cutey ... note that Cutey doesn't have quote marks around it.  That's right... it's beyond nicknames now.

In the Spider's Web - With William Nigh as Jack... the Ex-Convict

Looking for a Fortune - With George Larkin as Jack... Jim's Rival

The Lost Mail Sack - With Bert Hadley as Jack Morrison... the Postmaster

Love and Baseball - With Hobart Henley as Jack Prescott

A Lucky Disappointment - With Elmer Clifton as Jack Holt

Making Auntie Welcome - With Vincente DePascale as Jack

A Man and His Brother - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack Edmond... Billy the Kid's Brother

Med 100 Hestes Kraft - Mitt Ingolf Schanche als Jack Mason

A Midsummer's Love Tangle - With Harry A. Pollard as Jack Weston

The Mill Stream - With King Baggot as Jack Thornby

The Mystery of the Seven Chests - With Cecil Holland as Jack Lawless

Nan's Victory - With Franklin Hall as Jack Haldale

Near Death's Door - With Hart Hoxie as Jack Fleming... Foreman

No Show for the Chauffeur - With Frederick Truesdell as Jack Warren... the Young Man

One Best Bet - With King Baggot as Jack

Out of the Valley - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack Lacy

The Primitive Instinct - With Douglas Gerrard as Jack Tremmond... an Artist

The Raiders - With William Ehfe as Jack Keane

Remorse - With Morris Foster as Jack Stearns... the Son

Repentance - With Harry Benham as Jack

The Return of Helen Redmond - With George Field as Jack Cooper

A Romance of the Sawdust Ring - With Frank Borzage as Jack Dorn

The Ruin of Manley - With George Field as Jack... Manley's Rival

The Sheep Herder - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack Albright... the Son

The Silent Peril - With William Clifford as Jack Parsons

The Silent Witness - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack

Single Handed - With True Boardman as Jack Travors

The Skull and the Crown - With William Stowell as Jack

The Storm Bird - With Ray Gallagher as Jack Brant... the First Mate

A Strange Melody - With Joseph Smiley as Jack Bowdoin

Their Best Friend - With Justus D. Barnes as Jack's Father ... and with J. Morris Foster as Jack... May's Sweet Heart

Their Cousin from England - With James Dunne as Jack... May's Sweetheart

There is a Destiny - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack Baldwin, M.D.

A Ticket to Red Horse Gulch - With William Garwood as Jack Oliver

The Tin Soldier and the Dolls - With Roy Hauck as Jack... formerly a Tin Soldier

Toilers of the Sea - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack... the Shipowner's Son

The Trail of the Love-Lorn - With Harry Benham as Jack... U. S. Postal Inspector

The Treasure Train - With Ned Reardon as Jack Neill

Turtle Doves - With Langhorn Burton as Jack

A Twentieth Century Pirate - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack Farrell

Under Desperation's Spur - With J. P. McGowan as Jack... a Moonshiner

The Unpainted Portrait - With Raoul A. Walsh as Jack Londell

Value Received - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack Carruthers

The Vanity Case - With James Morrison as Jack Upton

The Wasted Years - With Francis Carlyle as Jack Marshall... the Son

When a Woman Waits - With George Field as Jack Lane

When Algy Froze Up - With Cyril Chadwick as Jack DeCourceville

When Death Rode the Engine - With Robert Frazer as Jack Webster... the Sheriff

Whom God Hath Joined - With Jack W. Johnston as Big Jack

The Win(k)some Widow - With Donald Hall as Jack... an Admirer

Within an Ace - With George Cooper as Jack Heriot... also, this may be one of the few rare times where the name of the character is way more exotic than the name of the actor.

A Woman's Loyalty - With Harry Benham as Jack

A Working Girl's Romance - With Charles Lambert as Jack Montague... Marion's Fiancé

Yellow Flame - With Mr. Smithy as Jack Hull

All in the Same Boat - With John Francis Dillon as Jack

At the Bottom of Things - With George Marlo as Jack Leeds

The Baby - With Violet Radcliffe as Jack

Baseball and Trouble - With William W. Cohill as Jack Potts

The Beggar Girl's Wedding - With Lauderdale Maitland as Jack Cunningham... or Cunninghman, one of the two

Big Brother Bill - With Leland Benham as Jack

The Black Pearl - With Hobart Henley as Jack North

The Black Ring - With Tom Moore as Jack Baldwin

Blaming the Duck, or Ducking the Blame - With Billie Reeves as Jack... the Husband

Brand Blotters - With Norbert A. Myles as Jack Flatray

The Broken Word - With Ben Turbett as Jack Clayton

The Capitulation of the Major - With Garry McGarry as Jack... Lillian's Sweetheart

Clothes Count - With Ben Walker as Jack Belding

The Crogmere Ruby - With George Marlo as Jack Morrison

A Daughter of the Jungles - With Wellington A. Playter as Jack Packard

The Devil and Idle Hands - With William C. Dowlan as Jack Saunders

The Doctor's Strategy - With Irving Cummings as Jack Bedford

A Double Exposure - With Arthur Ashley as Jack Carter

A Double Identity - With True Boardman as Jack Hilton... Frances' Assistant

Editions de Luxe - With Allan D. Sears as Jack McCarthy... Detective

An Example - With William A. Crinley as Jack Cotton

Fate's Healing Hand - With William J. Butler as Jack Calvert

Father Forgot - With Louis Fitzroy as Jack Sutton

Fifty-Fifty - With Edmund F. Cobb as Jack Collins

The Fire Escape - With Evart Overton as Jack Parker

The Flower of the Hills - With Leo Delaney as Jack Brooks... the City Man

For Another's Crime - With Leo Delaney as Jack Brandon

The Funny Side of Jealousy - With Jefferson De Angelis as Jack Corona

The Game of Thrones Thrills - With George M. Marlo as Jack Morris

Gene of the Northland - With J. J. Clark as Jack McLane

Getting Father's Goat - With Marshall Neilan as Jack Flint... a Young Clubman

The Ghost of Twisted Oaks - With James Vincent as Jack Carlton

The Girl Who Took the Wrong Turning - With Wingold Lawrence as Jack Fenton

The Gratitude of Conductor 786 - With Nolan Gane as Jack... Superintendent's Son

Haunted Hearts - With Joe King as Jack Devore

The Heart Punch - With Tom Jones as Jack Gordon

Her Weakling Brother - With John Ince as Jack Burroughs... and Joseph Kaufman as Jack Morgan... Kitty's Brother

The High Cost of Flirting - With Edward Coxen as Jack Blakeney

His Wife's Husband - With John Francis Dillon as Jack... the Groom

The House that Jack Moved - With Arthur Ashley as Jack Mitchell

In Search of a Husband - With Murray Carrington as Jack Heather

An Inside Tip - With Morris Foster as Jack Morrison... Police Reporter

It May Be You - With Arthur Housman as Jack Kenwood

Life's Staircase - With Webster Campbell as Jack Bentley

The Lighthouse by the Sea - With Darwin Karr as Captain Jack Collins

The Little Detective - With Jefferson Osborne as Jack... Goldie's Husband

Love and Handcuffs - With Scott Beal as Jack Saunders... the Younger Son

The Love Whip - With Evart Overton as Jack Wright

A Maid and a Man - With John Francis Dillon as Jack... the Golf Champion

Manners and the Man - With Thomas Aitken as Jack Forsyth

Married for Money - With Frank Tennant as Jack Harrison

The Mystery of the Man Who Slept - With Curtis Benton as Jack Christie

The Oaklawn Handicap - With William Clifford as Jack Deering

On the Road to Reno - With Arthur V. Johnson as Jack... the Husband

Payment Received - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack Brandon

A Pure Gold Partner - With Sydney Ayres as Jack Oakie... Oakes

Queen of the Band - With Frank Bennett as Jack Lyle

The Rebel - With Allen Doone as Jack Blake

The Red Stephano - With Alfred Vosburgh as Jack Schneider

The Reward - With King Baggot as Jack Hutchinson

The Reward - With S. Rankin Drew as Jack Waldron

The Right Girl? - With Earle Williams as Jack Bachelor

Romance as a Remedy - With William W. Cohill as Jack

A Romance of the Navy - With Edgar Jones as Jack Gardner... the Son

Roses of Memory - With Augustus Phillips as Jack Charleton

Saints and Sinners - With Edward Coxen as The Jack of Cards... the Village Gambler

The Secret Sin - With Thomas Meighan as Jack Herron

Shep the Sentinel - With Nolan Gane as Jack... May's Sweetheart

The Sheriff of Red Rock Gulch - With Arthur Moon as Jack Borden

The Sheriff of Willow Creek - With George Webb as Jack Watson... Ralph's Brother

Should a Wife Forgive? - With Henry King as Jack Holmes

Six or Nine - With Reggie Morris as Jack Darcy

Slavers of the Thames - With Percy Moran as Hon. Jack Courtney

Some Romance - With John McDermott as Jack Standing... Gwendoline's Sweetheart

Stop Thief! - With Harry Mestayer as Jack Doogan

The Strangler's Cord - With Charles Cummings as Jack Hilton... Frances' Assistant

The Suburban - With William Bailey as Jack Brambough... Donald's Pal

The Surprise of My Life - With Bryant Washburn as Jack Davis

The Taking of Luke McVane - With Ernest Swallow as Jack Ashley

Tangled Paths - With Alfred Paget as Jack Doe

The Test of a Man - With Wellington A. Playter as Jack Arnold

Their One Love - With Charles Emerson as Jack as a Boy, and with Robert Wilson as Jack... the Soldier

This Is the Life - With Ashton Dearholt as Jack LaRue

The Tide of Fortune - With George Fisher as Jack Warren

Time Lock No. 776 - With David Wall as Jack Wayne

Too Many Crooks - With John Francis Dillon as Jack... the Eloping Bridegroom

Trapped - With John R. Hope as Jack Lawrence

The Truth of Fiction - With George Field as Jack Drew

The Turn of the Road - With Bobby Connelly as Jack King

The Turn of the Wheel - With Richard C. Travers as Jack Deerforth

Two Hearts and a Thief - With Frank Borzage as Jack Nelson

Two of a Kind - With Ernest Shields as Jack Merryweather

The Unafraid - With Billy Elmer as Jack McCarty

The Voice of the Violin - With Pat O'Malley as McLean, Jack...

When a Woman Loves - With Frank Whitson as Jack Powers

When the Fleet Sailed - With Perry Horton as Jack Homer... Leila's Sweetheart

When Thieves Fall Out - With True Boardman as Jack Hilton... House Detective.  Ooh!  Jack got a promotion!  Check them all out here!

Where the Forest Ends - With William C. Dowlan as Jack Norton

The White Hope - With Stewart Rome as Jack Delane

The White Star - With Will Asher as Jack Higgs

The Widow's Secret - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack Rance... AND John Forrest (dual role)

The Winged Idol - With House Peters as Jack Leonard... HOUSE PETERS?!!!!!!

The Winged Messenger - With Richard Stanton as Jack Dow

With Father's Help - With John Francis Dillon as Jack... the Boy

The Woman Hater - With Henry B. Walthall as Jack Warder

The Woman Hater's Baby - With Jack J. Clark as Doctor Jack Hopkins

The Woman Next Door - With (snicker...) Lawson Butt as Jack Lake

A Woman Went Forth - With Joseph Kaufman as Jack Rogers

The Woman Who Lied - With Milton Sills as Jack Stanley

A Woman's Debt - With Joe King as Jack Davenport

A Woman's Wiles - With Paul Gilmore as Jack Addison... an American Sculptor

The Worthier Man - With George Stanley as Sheriff Jack

The Yankee Girl - With Forrest Stanley as Jack Lawrence

A Yellow Streak - With William Davidson as Jack Rader

A Yellowstone Honeymoon - With J. Morris Foster as Jack Benedict

Across the Rio Grande - With Neal Hart as Cap'n Jack Harding

Alien Souls - With J. Parks Jones as Jack Holloway

Almost a Heroine - With Arthur Albertson as Jack Purdy

The Angel of Piety Flat - With John Raymond as Jack Raymond

Artful Artists - With John McDermott as Jack Rox

Artistic Interference - With Robert Hilliard as Jack Wilmer

At Piney Ridge - With Leo Pierson as Jack Rose

Autumn - With Paul Panzer as Diamond Jack

The Avenger - With Robert Gray as Jack Forrest

The Ballet Girl - With Robert Kegerreis as Jack Danby

The Battle of Life - With William Sheer as John Horton Conway... I mean, Jack Ellis

Beau Brocade - With Austin Leigh as Jack Bathurst

The Black Orchid - With Earle Foxe as Lt. Jack Peters

Bobbie of the Ballet - With Jay Belasco as Jack Stimson

A Broken Genius - With George Field as Jack Hemingway

Caprice of the Mountains - With Harry S. Hilliard as Jack Edmunds

The Clown - With Gerald Ward as Jackie... His Son

The Crisis - With Leo Pierson as Jack Brinsmade

Dare-Devils and Danger - With Earl Montgomery as Jack Dare

The Eel - With Harry Keenan as Jack Carter

Enchantment - With Albert Vosburgh as The Faun's Mate / Jack Carew

The Eternal Sappho - With George MacQuarrie as Jack McCullough

An Eventful Evening - With Tom Mix as Jack Winton

Expiation - With E. K. Lincoln as Jack Cagan... AND Clarence Jay Elmer as Jack Hammond!  A bonus!!

The Extra Man and the Milk-Fed Lion - With Ashton Dearholt as Jack LaRue

Fathers of Men - With Stanley Dunn as Jack Blake

The Female Swindler - With Henry Lonsdale as Jack Coulson

For Love and Gold - With L. C. Shumway as Jack Wilson

From Out of the Past - With Bobby Connelly as Jack... as a Child.  AND with Garry McGarry as Jack... wait for it... as an Adult.

Getting By - With Huntley Gordon as Jack Ray

Giant Powder - With Fred Church as Jack Kenny

The Girl of Gold Gulch - With Tom Mix as Jack Wallace

The Girl Who Doesn't Know - With George Thelian as Jack Rance

The Greater Need - With Gerald Ames as Jack Leroy

The Grip of Jealousy - With Harry Hamm as Jack Morey

A Gutter Magdalene - With Charles West as Jack Morgan

The Half-Breed - With George Beranger as Jack Brace

The Heart of Nora Flynn - With Charles West as Jack Murray

Hell-to-Pay Austin - With James O'Shea as Jack Dale

Hesper of the Mountains - With Denton Vane as Jack Munro

The Highway of Fate - With Sidney Bracey as Jack Underwood

His Brother's Pal - With Ben Wilson as Dr. Jack Halliday

His World of Darkness - With Bert Busby as Jack Wilbur

Honor Thy Name - With George Fisher as Jack Deering ... shouldn't be hard, 'cuz there's, like... THREE other movies with a 'Jack Deering' in them.  Just sayin'.....................................

An Innocent Vampire - With Arthur Albertson as Jack Jones

The Iron Rivals - With Lee Hill as Jack Bradford

A Jungle Hero - With Colin Chase as Jack Harding

Just Her Luck - With Lee Hill as Jack Gardner

The Kiss - With Virginia Hammond as Mrs. Jack Van Vechten

Knights of a Bathtub - With Eddie Lyons as Jack Dawson

Langdon's Legacy - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack Langdon

The Little Grey Mouse - With Harry Benham as Jack Stanley

The Little Trespasser - With Arthur Cozine as Jack... the Nephew

London's Enemies - With Percy Moran as Lieutenant Jack Moran

The Lottery Man - With Thurlow Bergen as Jack Wright

The Love Hermit - With William Stowell as Jack Hillman

Love's Crucible - With John Hyland as Jack Saunders

The Lumber Yard Gang - With John Ford as Jack McClean... Cecil's Brother

The Man in the Sombrero - With Harold Lockwood as Jack Betson

Manhattan Madness - With Warner Richmond as Jack Osborne

A Marriage for Revenge - With Milburn Morante as Jack Amutt

The Measure of a Man - With Harry Carter as Jack Flack

The Melody of Love - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Jack O'Brien

The Misleading Lady - With Henry B. Walthall as Jack Craiger

The Money Lenders - With Lee Hill as Jack Howard

More Truth Than Poetry - With Arthur Moon as Jack Gains... the Studio Manager

A Movie Star - With Mack Swain as Handsome Jack... Screen Hero

Nancy's Birthright - With V. T. Henderson as Jack Levine

Nearly a King - With John Barrymore as Jack Merriwell... Prince of Bulwana

Overalls - With George Ahe(a)rn as Flap-Jacks

The Overcoat - With Warren Ellsworth as Jack Wayne

Pass the Prunes - With Eddie Lyons as Jack Crarrymore

Patterson of the News - With King Baggot as Jack Patterson

The Phantom Buccaneer - With Richard (C.) Travers as Stuart Northcote / JACK Burton

Plot and Counter Plot - With Matt Moore as Jack Hopewell

The Pony Express Rider - With Pat Chrisman as Happy Jack

A Price on His Head - With Kingsley Benedict as Jack Clarke

The Prince Chap - With Charles Gerard as Jack Rodney... Earl of Huntington

The Purple Mask - With Joe Moore as Jack Elliot

The Pursuing Vengeance - With Henry Mortimer as Jack Godfrey

The Ragamuffin - With Park Jones as Jack Dexter

A Railroad Bandit - With Lee Hill as Jack Russell

The Rejuvenation of Aunt Mary - With Reggie Morris as Jack Denhan

Repaid - With Ed Coxen as Jack Hardin

The Right Direction - With William W. Jefferson as Jack Marsh

The Rival Pilots - With Lee Hill as Jack Worth

A Romance at Puck Fair - With J. M. Kerrigan as Jack Manning

The Rookie - With George George as Lieutenant Jack

Scorched Wings - With Harry Spingler as Jack Pendleton

Snow Stuff - With Ashton Dearholt as Jack LaRue

A Son of Neptune - With Tom Foster as Jack Lewis

The Soul Market - With Wilmuth Merkyl as Jack Dexter

Stampede in the Night - With Hoot Gibson as Jack Harding

The Sting of Victory - With John Lorenz as Jack Spencer

The Tale of a Coat - With John McDermott as Jack Standing

The Target - With Ronald Bradbury as Jack Taylor

Temperance Town - With John Charles as Jack Worth

The Thousand-Dollar Husband - With E. L. Delaney as Jack Hardy

Through Flames to Love - With William J. Welsh as Jack Sturgeon

The Tight Rein - With Tom Moore as Jack McCall... the Mill Owner's Son

Too Much Married - With John Sheehan as Jack... the Husband

Trapping the Bachelor - With Victor Rottman as Jack Williams

Twin Fates - With Sydney Ainsworth as Gentleman Jack Sharron

Udenfor Loven - Med Gustav Helios som Jack Davy

The Unborn - With Charles Hamlin as Jack Osborn... sorry, quick side note.  This film has GOT to have my all time favourite doctor name.  How bad is it, Doctor Ahlbad?

The Victim - With John Charles as Jack Higgins

Was ein Weib Vermag - Mitt Erich Kaiser-Titz als Jack Gordon

Water Stuff - With Ashton Dearholt as Jack LaRue

What Could the Poor Girl Do? - With Ed(ward) Burns as Diamond Jack

When Hooligan and Dooligan Ran for Mayor - With Donald MacBride as Jack Hooligan

When Might is Right - With Henry King as Jack Crawford

Whoso Findeth a Wife - With Kirke Brown as Jack Leedy

The Witching Hour - With C. Aubrey Smith as Jack Brookfield

The Woman Who Did Not Care - With Harry Mestayer as Jack White