As for me, myself, I'm stuck here on the Democrats' half of the political divide. Forgive me.. the Demon Rat half of the political divide. Don't want to be left out on the latest trend, you know! Brought to you by words. Words! Change one letter and divide one word into two, and look at the fun you can have too! It's Re-puke lickin' good! But here's my suggestion for my fellow Democrats. Going into this political future of ours, let's take a brief look at the past. Specifically, the Dubya years. Two memes of a sort emerged. The first was "But what if a DEMOCRAT did it?" You know, sat for twenty minutes after being told about the 9/11 attack, lying about yellowcake, what have you. And the second, which more generally seemed to capture the vibes emanating out of the White House from that time, was the definition of insanity. The dictionary definition, more specifically, which quite simply... and the dictionary does tend to be simple, which is one of its many charms... simply means doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome. Which, depending on your outlook, could mean different things. For instance, take the act of hitting a coconut with a hammer. The far-thinking person thinks that eventually, if you hit the coconut long enough with a hammer, the coconut will open up. The short-thinking person will hit the coconut with a hammer and think "Hey, nothing's happening! Why do they want me to do this anyway? It's pointless!" For a Back to the Future Part II example, it's young Biff listening to the football game on the radio, and the score's not yet how older Biff predicted... bah. They don't have it. But you can track it down for yourself, one way or another. Hey! Got the compleat trilogy at me local library!
Anyway, so the insanity meme has fallen out of favour, but the "what if a Democrat did it" meme seems to have some staying power. I also think we should start using the new Republican stand-by: "Well, I haven't read that report, but I do know this..." Maybe not the "I do know this" part so much. But here's my nominee going forward for a new meme: "How about if we're just ALL Republicans going forward? How about that?" As Howard Beale quipped about television in the original Network, not the new Aaron Sorkin tribute... people are thinking like "the tube" and dressing like "the tube," etc. Well, now we're thinking, acting and dressing like computers. And computers seem to have a strong way of dividing things into what is paid attention to and what is not. And if something like the ... I don't even want to say it, but the child pornography ring in a pizza place... something like that can get traction. Something like that can get a guy with a gun to suddenly find his purpose in life, and go down there like Rambo and run out of bubble gum, and other fanciful notions can gather so much momentum. And people like myself can get on here and type things like "You know what I never liked? Afternoons. Let's get rid of afternoons forever! Or pennies. The most useless of coins. Let's get rid of pennies forever." Well, how about if we got rid of the Demon Rats forever? What if we were all just God-fearing stuffy Republicans? How would we divvy up the making of political decisions then? Why, the free market, of course! Let's see, one percent of the people will make all the decisions, and live in all the nice houses and... hey, they have it tough, too, you know! I mean, marble floors and bare feet? Nasty combination first thing in the morning. And the heating bills... and suppose you slip on it? One could fracture one's skull! Again with the coconuts. Well, it's a start, anyway. And I know we're not supposed to shout people out of restaurants anymore, if only for Bill Maher's sake, but these days it's somewhat necessary. I mean, if you don't like the Mexican people, don't eat their food! But if I don't hear this question asked on one of the morning shows soon, I'm going to be very disappointed.
Speaking of shifting paradigms, the semi-marginal character of Venom in Sam Raimi's Spider-Man 3 has finally gotten the treatment some Marvel fans thinks he deserves with 2018's Venom (I) starring the new Mad Max himself, Tom Hardy. And... boy! It's got a low IMDb number for such a new release! How long has it been in development? I mean, we're up to the nine millions for new releases these days! We might hit ten soon! The IMDb averages about 4,000 new entries a day. Of course, they're spaced out evenly, so it's more like 2,000. I'll give you an example... and I'll try to find a non-porn one. Okay, this one might be clean: a new video game called 'Sea of Lies: Nemisis.' Relatively recent, from 2014. Well, the peons slaving away at the IMDb to update this almost-completely ad hoc work in progress database do what they can with the resources given. Okay, here's the most recent I got as of this writing: an episode of something called "Wagas." Seems like non-porn, right? It says it's a comedy! "Comedy, Drama, (non-porn) Romance."
Okay, so there's that. Sidetracked again. The only other debut this week is the new A Star Is Born. I guess I'll try to be one of the first to say it... trying to be on the right side of history, for once... Oscar (TM) (C) (R) sweep? A second Oscar (R) (TM) (C) for Eric Roth? A first Oscar (TM) (R) (C) for pretty-boy Bradley Cooper? Well, two, really... one for acting, one for directing. Hasn't he suffered enough? Toiled in the sulphur mines long enough? Isn't it Sack Lodge's turn at the Big Dance? Didn't he ask enough questions during his "Inside the Actors' Studio" days? Also, does Dave Chappelle's street cred drop a little bit? I mean... really? The Bagger Vance role? Didn't he used to make fun of that kind of thing before? As for Lady Gaga, well... she's sung a couple times on the Oscars (R) (C) (TM) but we'll see if the Beverly Hills coterie think she's worthy yet or not. I mean, does she gimp for the gold at all? Does she have a wooden leg at the end of the pic, or is she in an oxygen tent or in a coma? I think she's one of those two-faces that Seinfeld tried to warn us about. Very different depending on what makeup she's using, but... that's just my own personal observation. Don't let that enter your mind, Oscar-voting bloc. You wanna get those young people interested in the Oscars again, right? (C) (R) (TM) Lady Gaga's got 100 million reasons to get the award. How about you?
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