...I almost forgot to mention my corporate sponsor. Strange because I've got one standing right behind me right now. This blog post is brought to you by Tall Guys Who Don't Play Basketball. Tall Guys Who Don't Play Basketball! No, really, it's an original question they've never heard before. You're the first! Anyway, it's of course not just a victory for Mr. Cumberbatch (spoiler alert: it actually is) and not just for the estate of Dr. Seuss... why hasn't the MeToo or the TimesUp movements revoked that guy's license yet? Or Rand Paul? Just because he comes up with rhymes real nice doesn't actually make him a doctor, you know! No, it's also a victory for another Pixar-ish studio called Illumination. I'd post a link to it, but the IMDb wants you to pay for that privilege. So, I'll do the next best thing and post a link to Christopher Meloni... sorry, Meledandri. I always get those two mixed up, as you may know. This blog post is clearly also brought to you by typos. Typoes! Every blog post has 'em. Yes, this mega-producer and amateur Vladimir Putin lookalike clawed his way up through traditional Hollywood the old fashioned way. 80s hits like Quicksilver and Opportunity Knocks... you know, movies they don't show on TV anymore. Not because they're terribly indecent, mind you. It's just that... well, let me put it this way. When's the last time you heard a song like Lighthouse's "Pretty Lady" on the radio? Anyone ever request to hear it? Or how about April Wine's "Caught in the Crossfire"? Ever hear THAT on the radio? Anyone ever request to hear it? Did you even KNOW there's a band called April Wine? You know, I'll bet there's a fascinating story behind that name. Well, they used to be called The Silver April Wine, but that was the early '70s, a time of one 45 minute song on an album and what not.
But then, after 1994's Trial By Jury... I'm not sure exactly how one would categorize that. It's kind of like how there was a spate of movies like Big in the '80s. As David Letterman would say, you got your Big (ding), you got your 18 Again (ding), you got your Regarding Henry (BUZZER)... maybe it was all John Grisham's fault, and maybe Bill Clinton to an extent. Because there was Trial By Jury and The Juror. That was another good one. O.J. Simpson's fault as well. No wonder people try to get out of jury duty! The latest one is this trial of El Chapo, a notorious drug lord, and apparently he has enough assassins working for him to make the lives of the twelve jurors a living hell. Cocaine is still just that profitable. But after Trial By Jury didn't post Jurassic Park-style numbers like everyone had hoped, well... it was time for Meledandri to take a little break from all the madness, all the early morning coffee runs for tempestuous Hollywood stars and producers. This Windows 95 thing was all the rage back then. Computers were poised to be as ubiquitous in the home as the water heater or the automatic garage door opener! Maybe this is what the future would hold instead of the next cup of coffee for MGM's lead electrician. And Meledandri, whatever he did to make himself useful in the CGI era, it seems to have paid off a little bit! Sure, 2002's Ice Age doesn't seem like much of an achievement now, but there was a lot of tears, sweat and... something else involved in getting it off the ground. Sure, he still had to get the occasional cup of coffee for Ray Romano, but why not. A little less eyestrain involved as opposed to looking at computer screens all day. All that's left now is to try and get that Oscar (TM) (R) (C) for Best Animated Short. It's a start!
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