Short Reviews - January 2025

I just wanted to take a break from my usual and have a look at what are called "taglines." Taglines are... well, perhaps Wikipedia can explain it better than I ever could. And look! They've even got some examples! You will find them on a movie poster, usually just above the film's credits. Bore ring, right? One of my favourites is from the 1988 classic Beetlejuice: "The Name in Laughter from the Hereafter." You say his name three times, and Candyman five. Go figure. But sometimes they're longer, like the epic poem for 1985's The Goonies: "The pirates map, the villainous crooks, the underground caverns, the booby traps, the skeletons, the monster, the lost treasure, and the magic that is... THE GOONIES". And you've got that picture of the eight or nine of them hanging on by the other's ankles... boy, those were the days. The tagline is slightly different in that one. These days, on DVD covers, they're usually just about half a sentence in length... and I couldn't help but notice that, just as there are a finite number of movie plots in the universe, there seem to be even less variety in DVD taglines. For instance.....

Exposed - Some secrets are better left buried.

The Grave - Some secrets are better left buried.

Making a Killing - Some secrets are better left buried

Unearthed - Some secrets are better left buried

Don McKay - Some secrets are better left buried.

Dead Voices - Some Secrets Are Better Left Buried

The Dyer's Eve Film Project - Some secrets are better left buried.

Requiem - Some secrets are better left buried.

Dark Awakening - Some secrets are better off buried.

False Identity - Some secrets are better off buried. Some people are better off dead. ...that's a little cold, I'll give you that.

Walled In - Some secrets are best left buried.

"Deadlock: Grave Robber 2" - Some Secrets Are Best Left Buried!

Elio Bay - Some secrets are best left buried.

The Box - Some secrets are best left buried!

Potter's Ground - Some secrets are best kept buried.

"Girl Missing" - Some secrets are best kept buried

A Kiss Before Dying - Some secrets can't be kept ... they have to be buried !

Sector 3 - Some secrets are meant stay buried. [sic]

Burial - Some secrets should stay buried

Desolation Sound - Some secrets should stay buried...

Mortal Remains - Some Secrets Should Stay Buried...

After Dark - Some secrets should stay buried...

Crooked Forest - Some secrets should stay buried.

"A Thief of Time" - Some secrets should stay buried.

Don't Tell a Soul - Some secrets should stay buried

"Inheritance" - Some Secrets Should Stay Buried.

Remnants of Chernobyl - Some secrets should be left buried...

"Sins of the Father" - Some secrets should just stay buried.

City of Tiny Lights - Some secrets should remain buried

The Curse of the Great Melinda - Some secrets should remain buried.

Renko - Some Secrets must remain buried.

The Inheritance - Some secrets do not stay buried.

"On My Block" - Secrets Don't Stay Buried (Season 3)

"1922" - Your darkest secrets never stay buried.

The Vessel - Some secrets won't stay buried

Bone Dry - Some secrets won't stay buried.

The Cat's Meow - Some secrets won't stay buried.

We All Fall Down - Some secrets won't stay buried.

"Glitch" - Some secrets won't stay buried.

Inside - Some secrets won't stay buried

"Malice" - Some family secrets just won't stay buried.

Ghosts of Cumberland Gap - Some Family Secrets Are Better Left Buried

Keeping Mum - Some family secrets are best kept...buried.

Family Possessions - Some family secrets should remain... Buried!

The Viewing - Some family secrets can't be buried

"The Estate" - Some family secrets should stay buried...

"The Estate" - The Estate - Where secrets refuse to stay buried

Jackals - Every family buries secrets. But some secrets won't stay buried.

The Key - A boy's journey to unlock a powerful family secret begins.

How to Frame a Figg - Runaway hilarity when Don Knotts runs down City Hall...in search of the buried secrets of a gang of crooked politicians the movie the entire family will enjoy!

Murder on the Ranch - There's a few secrets buried on that ranch.

Kaaya - Some Secrets Cannot Be Buried

1945 - Some Secrets Can't Be Buried

Crowing Lakes - Some secrets can't stay buried...

"(Backflash 2:) Angels Don't Sleep Here" - Some secrets don't stay buried

GhostWatcher - Some secrets can't stay buried forever

Stolen - Secrets from the past don't stay buried.

"The Guilty" - Secrets never stay buried.

Unmarked - Secrets never stay buried...

The Wake - Secrets and Lies never stay buried!

Secrets & Lies - Roxanne drives her mother crazy. Maurice never speaks to his niece. Cynthia has a shock for her family. Monica can't talk to her husband. Hortense has never met her mother.

I Know What You Did Last Summer - Not All Secrets Stay Buried.

"A Christmas Mystery / Secret Past" - Some secrets never stay buried.

Buried Cain - No secret stays buried...

Sleeping Dogs Lie - How long can a secret stay buried?

End of Fall - How long can a secret stay buried?

A Question of Trust - How long can you keep a secret?

10 Years Later - How long can you carry a secret?

Miracles of the Jungle - Bob Hathaway and Tom Courtland, United States Secret Service men are sent to Africa to bring back a supposed murderer. For two years they go through the jungles fighting wild animals and cannibals. (Print Ad- Coulee City Dispatch ((Coulee City, Wash.)) 14 December 1923)

My Four Years in Germany - EVERYBODY WANTS TO KNOW WHY AMERICA IS AT WAR Secrets of World History That Every American Wants to Know are Here Revealed. (Print Ad-Mansfield Shield ((Mansfield Ohio)) 2 July 1918)

Phantasm II - For ten years the secret of Perigord Cemetery has remained a mystery. Now the ultimate evil is about to be revealed.

A Relative Thing - A death broke the family apart. Sixteen years later, a secret will bring them together.

The Uncovering / El Desentierro - 20 años no bastan para enterrar un maldito secreto. [20 years is not enough to bury a damn secret.]

"The Reunion" - A missing girl. A secret buried for 25 years.

The Mountain [sic] Have No Words - The secret of a father thirty years ago.

Interview with the Assassin - Almost forty years after the John F. Kennedy assassination, an ex-marine named Walter Ohlinger has come forward to reveal a startling secret.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Mankind's finest achievement. Our nation's proudest moment. A secret hidden for forty years.

"Taken" - Three families. Four generations. Fifty years of secrets.

"OHMSS50: Video Report" - Celebrating 50 Years of On Her Majesty's Secret Service

Timeless - Honey and Magda meet again after 50 years - and realize they share a dark secret.

"Spies in the Sky" - Spies in the Sky explores a secret intelligence agency that few people know exists; the NRO. For over 50 years the NRO has been the nations eyes and ears in space. The show takes you inside the National Reconnaissance office, speaking with the men and woman working there. Take a look inside the NRO and it's [sic] spy satellite systems, while exploring its development through history.

Lost Sounds of the Silents - Eighty years later, two surviving theatre organists reminisce, reveal secrets, and once again accompany silent films at the Mighty Wurlitzer. Will their art form survive?

A Time to Share - Meet Yolanda, 92 years young, as she reveals her secret of a long life: family, love, positivity and her potato salad.

The Lincoln Conspiracy - Secrets Kept Hidden for 100 Years Are Now Revealed

Mad Dog Morgan - In the autumn of 1865 the unique and notorious desperado, bushranger Dan Morgan, crossed the Murray River from New South Wales into Victoria to do battle with the law for the last time. What happened has been a secret for over 100 years. And so it should have been, if only to save face for the corrupt and hated colonial establishment of the day. This then is the fascinating tale, told for the first time, of the romantic and extraordinary villain they called Mad Dog Morgan./a>

Last of the Dogmen - A secret lost in time for over 130 years is about to be discovered.

The Sentinel - In 141 years, there's never been a traitor in the Secret Service.... Until Now.

The Island - For three hundred years, a terrifying secret has been kept from the outside world.

Howling V: The Rebirth - For 500 years the secret lay dormant... Until now!

Dark Streets of Cairo - SECRETS SEALED A THOUSAND YEARS! They dared the death curse of the Pharoahs! (original print ad)