A Gnome named Gnomeo?

What is it about these damn gnomes!???... at this week's box office. It's McAvoy! Gotta be careful, dude. You keep taking roles like this... you're a'gonna get typecast! Wanted, Starter for 10... on the other hand, take as many as you can get. You can't be playing the shlub looking for love forever! You're gonna grow old, and that big Logan's Run called Hollywood's gonna gitcha. Meanwhile, the Guy Fare's not faring so well. Hall Pass at #2... though, to be fair, it did better than that other Owen Wilson vehicle that spent just one week at #8... we dare not even speak its name, we're in trouble enough already. The other debut this week is Drive Angry 3D. This, Machete, Grindhouse... maybe Russ Meyer wasn't so crazy after all. Of course, he'd be just another provocateur trying to compete with the Internet today. Sometimes you just gotta be ahead of your time, or you'll end up being obscure like Doris Wishman and William Castle... I'm mixing my metaphors again, aren't I? All right, who's the next damn auteur...

It's a wonderful night for Oscar... Oscar, Oscar... 2010?

Oh, someone's going to KILL me if they find out I'm posting this here! Sorry it's so late folks; I know how you've come to rely on me for Oscar predictions, so here goes... it's a bit of a hasty cut 'n paste job, and my Hyperlink maven's taken a leave of absence. Do what you can w/it.

Welp, the Oscars are this weekend and it's time to call another horse race using only my wits and my numbering system. Who will win big this year: classy Brits or greedy internet nerds? The best way to judge seems to be by tracking the Golden Globes, but I think the Facebook movie will get all the big important awards, like Best Picture and Director, while The King's Speech will get the acting awards, set design, and all those type awards, with True Grit and the others cleaning up like hyenas after the lions have taken the lions' share. For full disclosure, I do have a Coen brothers bias which will be reflected in my numbering system. The way I pick now is to assign a number to each: 1 being least likely to win, and 3, 4, 5 or even 10 for most likely. Ten best pics now! Just like in the 30s and 40s.

But let's break down these award bad boys one at a time. It's a long ceremony, deserving of a long critique. For Best Animated Feature, ever since Shrek, the rule is: Pixar wins. Always. Except for 'Spirited Away' in 2002, it's Pixar, followed by DreamWorks. That it's Toy Story 3, and the end of a trilogy, well, that's mere icing on the cake. Oh, the Simpsons can poke all the fun they want (Condiments!! LOL), but it's still the law of the land. Okay, next category.

Best Foreign Language Film: Biutiful's got the most buzz, and Javier Bardem's finally disassociated in the American mind from his role in No Country for Old Men, but In a Better World's got the most upbeat title, and seeing as how most of the Oscar voting block doesn't have time to see every film, that's generally how they'll pick it. In a Better World edges out Biutiful, but it's close.

Best Feature Doc: Lotta cool titles this year: GasLand, Waste Land, Restrepo... but everyone's got Banksy fever for some reason, so it's Exit Through the Gift Shop... real cool title!

Best Short Documentary: Another tough call, but I'm thinking Strangers No More's going to take the gold. If only Obama and his Republicans could say as much.

Best Short Live Action Film: I'm changing my mind from God of Love to Wish 143. I mean, what IS wish 143? Probably has something to do with a prison. The title would be better suited to a documentary, ultimately.

Best Animated Short Subject: Madagascar, a Journey Diary, because the Oscar voting block is going to think it has something to do with DreamWorks' Madagascar franchise, and really, who amongst us wants to piss off Spielberg? Besides, Gruffalo's already got a Best Supporting Actor nod this year! No double dipping!!!

Best original score: I'm giving Inception a 1, my lowest score. I saw Inception in the theater, and while it was a movie with many fine attributes, the music was not one of them. Too similar to Nolan's The Dark Knight; kind of the same pulsing Bruckheimer-esque music going back to The Rock. To award it an Oscar is to set a dangerous precedent. I'm thinking The King's Speech has got the kind of music the Academy's looking for: regal, dignified, and insufferably British. What, is Carter Burwell chopped liver?

Original Song: As usual, it's another group of instantly forgettable songs... and they can't even cobble together five anymore! Randy Newman's already won his Pixar Oscar, so they'll probably give it to Tangled. ANYBODY but Country Strong, for God's sake, IMHO.

Makeup: Probably The Wolfman, and I know what you're thinking. I'm thinking it, too: does Rick Baker really need another Oscar? The dude's already got six!

Visual Effects: Well, Oscar seems to have it in for Harry Potter. They'll probably wait for the last film to lavish HP with Oscar gold; as long as it does well at the box office, so I'm thinking Alice in Wonderland will take it.

Sound Editing: Probably Inception, with True Grit a close second. With all these editing awards, it seems like the longest film usually wins.

Best Editing: It'll be a close tie between The King's Speech and The Social Network, but I'm thinking Social Network. Both films are the same length, but Social Network probably represented longer hours at the Avid: a true reflection of our ADD-afflicted modern age.

Best Sound Mixing: The King's Speech. And how perfect would that be? Sound mixing is practically what the film's about!

Costume Design: Will Sandy Powell win her fourth Oscar, or will Coleen Atwood (a Yakima native!) win her third? Can't Mary Zophres win her first? No. The stakes are just that high. Alice in Wonderland will probably take it.

Art Direction: Again, Harry Potter will get dissed, but does Stuart Craig really need that fourth Oscar? Yes he does. He has yet to get that first Harry Potter Oscar. There's a big difference, but he'll have to hold his breath for a while. Alice in Wonderland takes it.

Cinematography: Cinematography is an art in trouble, which is ironic, seeing as how 3D's just starting to take off. But between the double punch in the gut from the CGI revolution and the streaky, digital videotape revolution, what's the point in an award for it anymore? Let me put it this way: we're back to ten Best Picture nominees, but they're not bringing back the division between best color and best black and white cinematography. Anyway, Roger Deakins will probably get dissed for the ninth time (it's a union thing) and the statuette will go to... let's say, Black Swan. That whole following-the-person-around-and-we-only-see-the-back-of-their-head thing: that's kinda new! Even though it was in The Wrestler as well...

Adapted Screenplay: Danny Boyle's getting some freebies this year because of Slumdog Millionaire, but word on the street is The Social Network gets it, mostly because Aaron Sorkin didn't have any of the characters say that they're never ever sick at sea.

Original Screenplay: Probably The King's Speech. Do NOT give it to The Fighter! (Don't worry, Oscar won't...)

Director: Well, it's a tough year, but I'm going to say that David Fincher will finally win the Oscar he should've gotten for... let's say, Fight Club.

Supporting Actress: Hailee Steinfeld in True Grit. No question.

Supporting Actor: Kind of a meager field this year. Jeremy Renner gets a freebie for last year, and why not, damn it? So I'm going to go with Geoffrey Rush just because I like him. Remember Mystery Men? Quills? He did a mean James Woods impression in House on Haunted Hill!

Actress: Well, despite her new movie, No Strings Attached, there's no reason to think that Natalie Portman's momentum has lessened. She'll take the gold.

Actor: I'm sure Jesse Eisenberg's probably a nice person... okay, maybe not, but he's got the snowball's chance. Colin Firth will win, but it's the Oscar he should've gotten for A Single Man... I guess. Still, Tom Hanks won two years in a row... Katharine Hepburn won two years in a row, why not the Dude?

And finally, Best Picture: I'll stick with Social Network, because I like what one of the other critics said: it'll win because it plays into everyone's current dream of becoming a billionaire. But I do have an appreciation for Wayne and Garth's reasoning for Winter's Bone as well. It's also California State Law that the Best Director and Picture Oscars be the same, and it is broken at somebody's peril. Between True Grit and The Social Network, Scott Rudin's got his bases covered. Hollywood begrudgingly accepts that. He's the new Weinsteins all in one!

Well, that's about it for me. Better get back to the ol' thesis. Wish my predictions luck!!




Best Motion Picture of the Year
2 127 Hours
6 Black Swan
1 The Fighter
7 Inception
5 The Kids Are All Right
8 The King's Speech
10 The Social Network
4 Toy Story 3
9 True Grit
3 Winter's Bone

Best Actor
3 Biutiful
4 True Grit
1 The Social Network
5 The King's Speech
2 127 Hours

Best Actress
4 Annette Bening
3 Nicole Kidman
1 Jennifer Lawrence
5 Natalie Portman
2 Michelle Williams

Best Supporting Actor
4 Christian Bale
1 John Hawkes
3 Jeremy Renner
2 Mark Ruffalo
5 Geoffrey Rush

Best Supporting Actress
3 Amy Adams
4 Helena Bonham Carter
2 Melissa Leo
5 Hailee Steinfeld
1 Jacki Weaver

Best Director
3 Darren Aronofsky
4 Coens
5 David Fincher
2 Tom Hooper
1 David O. Russell

Best Original Screenplay
1 Mike Leigh
4 The Fighter
2 Inception
3 The Kids Are All Right
5 The King's Speech

Best Adapted Screenplay
2 127 Hours
5 The Social Network
3 Toy Story 3
4 True Grit
1 Winter's Bone

Best Cinematography
5 Black Swan
1 Inception
2 The King's Speech
3 The Social Network
4 True Grit

Best Art Direction
5 Alice in Wonderland
3 Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1
1 Inception
2 The King's Speech
4 True Grit

Best Costume Design
5 Alice in Wonderland
1 I Am Love
3 The King's Speech
2 The Tempest
4 True Grit

Best Sound Mixing
2 Inception
5 The King's Speech
3 Salt
1 The Social Network
4 True Grit

Best Editing
3 127 Hours
2 Black Swan
1 The Fighter
4 The King's Speech
5 The Social Network

Sound Editing
5 Inception
2 Toy Story 3
1 Tron: Legacy
4 True Grit
3 Unstoppable

Visual Effects
5 Alice in Wonderland
3 Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1
1 Hereafter
2 Inception
4 Iron Man 2

Makeup
2 Barney's Version
1 The Way Back
3 The Wolfman

Original Song
1 127 Hours
3 Country Strong
4 Tangled
2 Toy Story 3

Original Score
2 127 Hours
3 How to Train Your Dragon
1 Inception
5 The King's Speech
4 The Social Network

Best Short Animated Film
1 Day & Night
2 The Gruffalo
3 Let's Pollute
4 The Lost Thing
5 Madagascar, a Journey Diary

Best Short Live Action Film
2 The Confession
1 The Crush
3 God of Love
4 Na Wewe
5 Wish 143

Best Short Documentary
1 Killing in the Name
3 Poster Girl
5 Strangers No More
2 Sun Come Up
4 The Warriors of Qiugang

Best Feature Doc
5 Exit Through the Gift Shop
3 GasLand
1 Inside Job
2 Restrepo
4 Waste Land

Best Foreign Language Film of the Year
4 Biutiful
3 Dogtooth
5 In a Better World
2 Incendies
1 Outside the Law

Best Animated Feature Film
2 How to Train Your Dragon
1 The Illusionist
3 Toy Story 3

National Endowment AWAY from the Arts

Maybe I'm crazy, or maybe Pop Goes the Easel is THE BEST DAMN STOOGE SHORT EVER... at least, for 1935. It's got it all: "Look at the grouse," hopscotch, gay shopkeepers, microphone shadows (see picture), Depression Era cars ... and it all culminates in a giant clay-throwing fight. I HOPE that was clay, anyway. Well, it was the Depression and pies were definitely a luxury.
This is where we get our first lesson from Professor Moe. You know what I mean, that moment in a Stooge film when Moe has to explain something to Larry or Curly, or both in this case. Moe is their leader! He's the brains and President of that corporation, don't kid yourselves. The first lesson is on how to get a job. What they don't realize is it's all a setup for the big chase sequence, ending where the Stooges find themselves suddenly in their new occupation: in this case, art students. Those three art students that were expected, if you will.
The first life they ruin is a painter confounded by... well, I hate to ruin it, but to explain it is to ruin it. It's probably a gag they stole from Buster Keaton. A beam of light is shining onto a painting. The artist furiously tries to get rid of it, painting away at it. He steps in the light's way, the light disappears, and he is happy. Very happy. He moves, the light reappears, he is sad. Very sad. The Stooges proceed to ruin his painting in small strokes, then all at once in a great flood. The painter gets knocked unconscious, and falls into a heap into a chair. Life ruined.
There's also a part where Moe echoes an old Ted Healy line, "You don't have long to live, son!" Ted had to go, but his influence lives on. Meanwhile, the cop that was chasing the boys is still hot on the trail. The boys end up in drag, and Curly gives Moe some serious hell over his outfit. Moe pokes Curly in the eyes, Curly says "Ooooooo!", and Curly's head snaps back, knocking off his wig. The cop fortunately figures out what's going on, but the boys get the best of him anyway.
Al Thompson starts the movie by spraying Larry with mud from his car. I remember him best from his bit part in G.I. Wanna Home, for some reason. Also, this bald dude whose wig gets knocked off by clay, he plays the veritable Barabbas of the Stooges in Dutiful but Dumb, a photographer who's sentenced to be shot for taking pictures in Vulgaria, but the Stooges get taken in his place instead... probably for good reason.
Now, about that big clay fight. It has a little trouble getting off the ground, but once it gets going, look out. Curly has to kick start it by saying "Gimme that.... GIMME THAT!!!" The clay hits untold dozens in the head, neck and chest, knocks on doors, hits the wall next to an art admirer. Classic stuff. They simply didn't know how to end it, so Moe slaps about eight people around him in a row. A good lesson for Governor Scott Walker of Wisconsin! Of course, you'll win the battle that way but will definitely lose the war...

****
-so sayeth The Movie Hooligan

Next week: Uncivil Warriors!!!

Auteur Watch - Jay and Mark Duplass

There's too much material to cover here, so I'll just focus on Duplass career highlights. It directorially began with The Puffy Chair... okay, with Scrapple. Both Duplasses are credited with directing. It's a simple short film about a game of Scrabble gone awry. For me, there can be only one, and that's The Big Snit. Foot down here. Anyway, that's college time. Time for the real world with The Puffy Chair, the Duplass' take on the time-tested road pic genre. Apparently, this is where the ego clash began, and Jay wanted to take all the directing credit for himself. Okay, just this once, but after that, we're doing like the Coens do now. Credit for both! All for one, one for all. Jay's doing what he can, but really, even a blind man can see that Mark's the alpha brother, graciously splitting his time between acting and directing duties. Next came Baghead, which made some waves, and helped bring about this genre called 'Mumblecore.' Is that going to end up being like grunge, a controversial label some will call extremely unfair? And finally, we come to Cyrus, their first entry into the Weekly Top 10 sweepstakes, and it's all uphill from here. They're more in demand than Jody Hill even! Nothing but award shows and lectures on college campuses from here on out for these Duplass boys. Congratz!

The Best Film of ... 2006?

Boy, the Onion AV Club's right! More questions than answers. The making-of stories of the films are more interesting! ...at this week's box office. Not only does James Frey rear his ... handsome head with I Am Number Four, but this Unknown film was apparently made in 2006!!! Why it's taken this long is a mystery to me... okay, the IMDb's made a mistake. Here's the link to the proper Unknown. Oh, these kinds of snafus are what make life worth living. But here's a real unknown for me: Liam's supposed to be married to January Jones in the movie, and Liam's, like, twice her age at least ... okay, at least 1.78 times her age. Old enough to be her father, anyway. You're portraying a doctor, not a vain Hollywood actor who's 'retired' twice already! Act like it!
At #2 is I Am Number Four... Who is number one? You are Number Six! I am not a number. I am a free man! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... Sorry, got sidetracked. Kinda looks like Push, except light comes out of #4's hands, not ... pushomagnetic energy, or whatever.
The other debut this week, rather than going direct to video, it's Big Momma 3. Martin Lawrence has his pride! A straight to DVD release would provide comfort to all his enemies. Bachelor Party 2, on the other hand... they could've released that on YouTube and no one would care.

You kids don't know how good you have it...

See, in the olden days of videotape, we'd have to carefully pause the tape, take a photo with either a Polaroid or our old clunky Kodak film camera... and PRAY it turns out okay. On the other hand, we didn't have blogs to post these images to. One begets the other, apparently. Plus, you'd be thought of as a little cuckoo... But now! All I gotta do is a screen capture, a quick cut 'n paste job, and presto! On the web to billions of people instantaneously in general, and my 8 followers in particular. As you can see, these Stooge films were made at a time when it didn't much matter that the Stooges' stunt doubles weren't exact look-alikes.
Anyway, according to Wikipedia, Restless Knights is the sixth Stooge short. How far we've come in such a short time. But don't worry! The recurring themes in this Stooge short will show up later on. This must've been before they came up with that damn catchy song that John Candy once did on SCTV: "Oh Elaine, won't you come out tonight! Cedric's here, no foolin', Cedric's here..." Set in Medieval times, the Stooges turn out to be nobility... even if it's of the Kingdom of Anesthesia, it's still nobility. It shall endure longer than the kingdom in Krod Mandoon... damn! Wikipedia's really got everything. Hah! Except Beer Belly Burt's Brew Biz. But I digress.
As we learn early on, the noble acorns don't fall far from the tree, as the Stooges' dying patriarch gives them all one good three-fer slap. Also, when Curly says the line about a hot steak's better than a cold chop, Moe gives Curly an eye poke... and it looks damn close to the eyes! Curly musta won big at cards or something. But Geneva Mitchell proves herself to be the fourth Stooge indeed, when she gets pulled off her throne by Larry as they prepare to wrestle, and gets a good knock on the head later on. Damn! Spoiled the plot again. Also, a dude named Stanley Blystone makes an appearance here as Captain of the Guard. I recognized him from Slaphappy Sleuths: a little older, not necessarily wiser. Once you're sucked into a Stooge film, it's damn hard to escape their gravitational pull. Some, like Victoria Horne, were close to retirement anyway.

***
-so sayeth The Movie Hooligan

coming up next: Pop Goes the Easel !!!

Auteur Watch - Robb and Mark Cullen

Sigh. Everyone's turning 40! Including Robb Cullen. As for Mark, well... he'll never tell! Neither will Lana Wachowski, but that's for later on in the year. But these Cullen boys enjoyed beaucoup travail in the 2000s on such memorable TV shows as Heist and Las Vegas. Having established such sterling bonafides, they promptly threw them all away on a Kevin Smith pic called Cop Out. Consequently, their IMDb resumés go missing after that, but who knows? Even the best of us gets a second chance now and again, even in cutthroat Hollywood...


Mark Cullen on Wikipedia!!!

Update: There. I found a photo of them... sheesh. Should've stuck with the first photo. One looks like your stereotypical Handsome Bastid, the other looks like Jude Law in about 10 years, God bless 'em.

This Week's Box Office brought to you by Travelocity

See, for me there's the big story and the real story. At least, for this week. No question, of course, is the neck and neck victories of Adam Sandler's Untitled 2011 Romantic Comedy at #1, and Untitled Justin Bieber Delivery Device at #2... where does he succeed where Hanson clearly failed? Go figure. Well, Hanson certainly paved the way, and the fruits of their labours are being divvied up betwixt the likes of the Jonas boys, Miley Cyrus and of course R&B legend Justin Bieber. And at #3... Gnomeo & Juliet. Me myself, I couldn't help but think of those damn Travelocity ads. Of course, these gnomes will be much more animated, I'm thinking. Where? Where was the ad campaign? Nickelodeon? There must be SOME explanation! Well, one knows how it is. Dump the kids off at G&J, while the adults go to... Adam Sandler's pic? Really? Nah, that can't be it. But, the numbers don't lie! Sandler's pic sold out, so there was some runoff to The Eagle, directed by Kevin Macdonald. Not to be confused with Rambo III director Peter MacDonald... damn! Why couldn't his name be Kevin? Richard Donner talks about the Peter MacDonald in the commentary for his 1978 Superman movie. And that's about it for the debuts this week. Four debuts! Dang. True Grit's almost gone; sigh. But I've got my secret audio recording of it! Tee hee hee... I don't know how The King's Speech's hanging so tough all these weeks. Oscar will notice that, of course, even though it's made less than True Grit. No Strings Attached is doing better than Reitman's last pic, My Super Ex Girlfriend, which was probably a better movie. People just weren't ready to laugh, I guess. Go figure.

Moe Larry Cheese... the very idea!

Welp, as the freak from A Beautiful Mind once quipped to a colleague, I'm confident that there's not one original joke in this affair called Horses' Collars. Not only that, the boys are already ripping themselves off! Didn't Curly already go crazy and beat everybody up when he heard Pop Goes the Weasel? Yes, he did, in Punch Drunks. Worse than that, the Stooges still haven't found the musical variation on Three Blind Mice to open all their films with yet. Standardization, standardization, in all things these days. That's the curse of our computer-driven era.
But to be fair, you might not be able to guess where it's going. Starting off as a detective story, it turns into a wacky Western! Curly gets shot point blank three times, but he's got a hell of a bulletproof vest. It's not just his magical head that can bend axes and saws yet. There's fancy gunwork, fancy footwork, the boys sing that song they always sing about tears. Nothing but Itchy-Coo Park here; it's all too beautiful. Still not my favorite one. Oh, and they use that woo woo woo from Punch Drunks again! Oh, I'm sure we haven't heard the last of it yet. It's also the first time they use the Big Coat gag where a Stooge throws a punch at a bad guy, and swings the other guy in the coat around so they get the return punch. Why not Trip the Light Fantastic with Horses' Collars today?

***
-so sayeth The Movie Hooligan

Horses' Collars on YouTube
Horses' Collars on Wikipedia

Next week: Restless Knights!

A Puerto Rican Werewolf in Blackmoor

Welp, I dunno how Benicio Del Toro ever found himself with the fortunate or unfortunate assignment of having to portray Moe Howard... yup! Looks like he's still stuck with it. Somehow, portraying the infamous Wolf Man is good preparation for him. Of course, the violence here is somewhat beyond the scope of the Stooges. Almost as bad as... what's that movie? Dead Alive? No, Dead Alive's still worse, but we're trying to catch up! And of course, it's not lost on too many regarding the irony of casting Anthony Hopkins in this mess. Is HE a werewolf? Is he not? Oh, but I've spoiled it enough already.
Now, I'm sure all the hipsters over at The Village Voice and The Onion are going to just out and out hate on this movie... I dunno! I kinda liked it. At least it wasn't directed by Stephen Sommers. It would've been ruined for sure. If memory serves, there were even some decent imagery to be stolen from this outing, if only I had it on DVD (hint hint)... and the time to watch it again. As for the crew, it's an interesting mix of people who worked on Sleepy Hollow and An American Werewolf in London... well, I guess it's just Rick Baker. Also, the title sequence reminded me a bit of Coppola's Dracula, of which Hannibal Lecter was also a small but significant part. Hopkins' dialogue was a slight cut above the usual pablem we get these days, which is probably a credit to Andrew Kevin Walker. Self is good too... or is he? And of course, plots these days have to be intensely interwoven, making everything a family drama. Sam Raimi's Spider Man movies did this pretty well; not so much here. They didn't go so far as to make Emily Blunt the werewolf; see the end of Wolf for that. I was surprised; maybe I'm wrong but the movie wasn't as video-game-y as it could've been, at least in the big action sequences... okay, except for the part where Del Toro's running along the rooftops. More importantly, the film looked like a damn film, not some bastardized streaky digital video abomination. Nevertheless, the golden age of cinematography is behind us, all due respect to Shelly Johnson.
The door is left open for a sequel. Is it so much to ask to have a wolf man on the right side of the law for a change? Sensing that just ending there would be kinda corny, the film ends on a highly philosophical note. It's a sin to kill a man, not to kill a beast... at least, not in our half of the world. But what about that damn pesky middle ground that the Wolf Man inhabits? The person who asks this question forgot that they already answered it a little bit earlier in the movie... I'll leave it at that.

Rated R for bloody gore and violence... but no swear words, thank God!!
***
-so sayeth The Movie Hooligan

Auteur Watch - Ethan and Joel Coen

Nope, no new news yet. While all us Coen-heads await the 2010 Oscars (The King's Speech and The Social Network are probably going to sweep), we'll just have to wait and see how the dynamic dark-comedy duo revolutionize the world of film next. And I should probably update my Coen Brothers film analysis jpeg!

Joel Coen at IMDb

Ethan Coen at IMDb

You Know, For Kids web site ... apparently, it doesn't exist anymore. :(  Now it's some Korean softcore erotica novella blog or something.  Hardly a replacement.

http://moohooblog.blogspot.com/2009/02/emergency-auteur-watch-coen-brothers.html

http://moohooblog.blogspot.com/2009/10/bonus-auteur-watch-coen-bros.html

Seriously?

Oh, that photo says it all right there. Are they twins? Oh, I hope they're not sisters. Twins, okay, but mere sisters... Ewww! Yes, time to dissect another Box Office frog for biology class. Lots of "The" movies at the box office, I've suddenly noticed: The Dilemma, The Mechanic, The Rite, The King's Speech... seriously, did The Green Hornet get lost in the shuffle last week? Did I somehow manage to miss that? Shame on me. Better check Variety's records. But once again the hot young new horror pic takes the cake amongst our youthful cinephiles out there, and it's Single White Female Remake 2011... I mean, The Roommate! In 3D, hopefully. The other debut this week is Sanctum, a James Cameron-inspired dealy-bopper. Kinda looks like that film he was supposedly working on about cliff divers, but with a horror twist. Good for him! Meanwhile, the Oscar race continues to smolder. Look at that The King's Speech! The last four weeks at #4? Oh, that's definitely going to take the gold. The American people got historical Brit fever! We pine for the lost empire of old, apparently. It's lonely at the top, something like that.

Judd Apatow's Jerry Maguire

Welp, I've given the matter a lot of thought. Or, rather, probably not enough thought. Then again, maybe I'm in the "Goldilocks Region", having given it just the amount of thought the matter deserves. Now, you might be asking, what on earth could Jerry Maguire and Adam Sandler's Funny People possibly have in common? Well, three things to start. First, they're both way too long. The example of a film that's way too long that I keep going back to is Hook; about three false endings too long or so, with all due respect to Spielberg. He knows I love him. Second... damn, what was the second thing? Well, both thematically have a lot in common: pulling back the veil to show how the richer half lives, both overly sentimental, and both featuring the soundtrack of our lives, including Paul McCartney. Third, both were lovingly filmed by ... ta dah! Spielberg's current permanent camera man, Janusz Kaminski. Well, even the best of us likes to take a vacation from quality work now and again.
Actually, if I were braver, I'd dare say there's a fourth! Does anyone else see similarities between Tom Cruise and Adam Sandler? Take Cruise's speech in Minority Report at the end of the movie when he screams "Don't you EVER say his name!" Anyone else find that a little Sandler-ish? Just me? Thought so. Of course, Sandler dreams at night about having Cruise's boyish good looks, but that's another blog I'm trying not to become.
Anyway, the qualities of Punch Drunk Love you hated aren't as prominent here. This is no student film, for God's sake! Apatow knows how to put together a damn movie, don't kid yourself. It just suffers from too much of that American navel gazing syndrome we hear so much, yet see so little, about. But it's not all about Sandler and his crippling disease he suffers from in the movie. There's the guy he takes under his wing, Seth Rogen, and the people in Seth's own universe that take up the other half of the movie. Filled with kooky characters like that Aubrey Plaza, it's just plain ducky and brimming with cutting-edge slang and morality. I'm telling you, watch your ass, Zooey Deschanel! Aubrey's got your number, and she's on Tina Fey's friend's show! She's practically a Showbiz Made Man!
What else? I'll keep it short. I keep thinking about that part with Eminem. Could've done without that for some reason. He should have to give back his 8 Mile Oscar for that scene. Speaking of rappers, is RZA's opinion of Kramer the consensus view yet? Some icons can never fail, others spectacularly so. Maybe if you call yourself or your company an icon, that's the first sign of trouble. I do still like that Norm Macdonald for some reason. He was the last great Weekend Update supernova, shining so brightly, taking on the system. Don't worry, that kind of thing won't happen ever again. It's all middle school-targeted bits on SNL from now on. How will this week's guest host be geekified? That never gets old. And I know we're supposed to root against Eric Bana... or are we? He did have great rapport with his kids, or Apatow's kids, I mean. And of course, Sandler does commit the ultimate sin of not loving the child's performance at that school function. I understand, Sandler. Just like W.C. Fields, all performers are insecure and selfish, and don't like it when they're not the center of attention, even for one second.

***
-so sayeth The Movie Hooligan

Beep beep!

Well, this is arguably not one of the ones people think about when they think of their favourite Stooge shorts. Micro-Phonies, yes... let's see what the IMDb says. Disorder in the Court? Malice in the Palace? All those ones that lapsed into the public domain and are on every other DVD claiming to be the best, latest and greatest Stooges collection ever assembled. Not this one, the Stooges' "tribute" to Horse Feathers. Ah, was there a more reliable comedy plot than winning the big football game? But they do manage to turn the genre on its ear and give it their usual violent spin. The dumb girlfriends of some gangsters mistake the boys for football players and bring them back to their townhouse, give them some hilarious ladies' garments to wear, get sprayed in the face with seltzer, and play hide and seek. The gangsters return, want to kill the Stooges, and proceed to fall down a dumbwaiter. A fitting fate, indeed. All in all, the football fan will be underwhelmed in terms of football with this one, as probably will fans of Lucille Ball. But social history fans will appreciate the fact that the Stooges were indeed a product of their time to an extent, having to beg for money and living in the most temporary of Hoovervilles in the wake of the Great Depression... something like that.

***
-so sayeth The Movie Hooligan

Short Reviews - January 2011

DAMN YOU, TAXI BOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quentin Tarantino's top 20 picks of 2010... I had something to say about these, but I already forget what.
1. "Toy Story 3"
2. "The Social Network"
3. "Animal Kingdom"
4. "I Am Love"
5. "Tangled"
6. "True Grit"
7. "The Town"
8. "Greenberg"
9. "Cyrus"
10. "Enter the Void"
11. "Kick-Ass"
12. "Knight and Day"
13. "Get Him to the Greek"
14. "The Fighter"
15. "The King's Speech"
16. "The Kids Are All Right"
17. "How to Train Your Dragon"
18. "Robin Hood"
19. "Amer"
20. "Jackass 3-D"

Meanwhile... is Jeff Bridges campaigning for another Oscar? He wouldnt' do it overtly, of course, but we just watched his American Masters special. Some of his pics were skipped over!... fair enough. Okay, on to the list.


No Highway in the Sky - Is this where the love affair between James Stewart and Henry Koster began? What does he have that Capra and Hitchcock don't?

"Lights Out" on FX - That's where I've seen that guy before! He's the guy in the black and white movie within a movie in Mumford!... for what that's worth...

The Fisher King - Slightly prescient, at least until Robin Williams shows up

Bowling for Columbine - Welp, not much has changed in the 8 years since its release. America's still crazy, the local news is still amped up.

Nashville - Okay! We get it!

The Day of the Jackal - ALL RIGHT! WE GET IT!!!

The Jackal (1997) - Sucks in comparison... although, when Jack Black got shot, that was pretty cool.

Taxi Driver - Crap! How many of these are there?

The Hidden - Oh, right. The big finale.

Vantage Point - I liked the video game version better.

American Gun (2005) - With Marcia Gay Harden. Never saw it myself, but I've heard it's not that good... Not Marcia's fault!!

Nick of Time - Johnny Depp plays Nick Timeman, a businessman on the way to an urgent meeting, when someone else's urgent plan supersedes his urgency... something like that.

The Last Boy Scout - No, they were planning on killing a Senator. And with good reason, too! The football guy didn't want to pay him so much money! Duh! The market speaks.

VeggieTales - I will never let them near my children again!!

The Crow - No, that happened OFF camera.

Gone Fishin' - Oh, please. That was a nobody on the crew!

Sorcerer - With a film like that, what director WOULDN'T use a starter pistol?

Twelve Monkeys - Well, they try to warn us.

Armageddon - Hurry up and kill yourself already, Willis! The fate of the world depends on it!

Okay, time to pull ourselves back from the brink of insanity.

Nuts - Damn! Too late.

Whose Life Is It Anyway? - That's not even the right issue!!

Agnes of God - Great title. I MUST have seen it!

SFW - Damn! I forgot one, but brought it back. Did it for you, Zetterland!!

Someone Like You - Judd's valuable lessons forgotten already, as this is the top headline today: Blake Lively voted "Most Desirable Woman" in the world, like, ever! The reporter pointed out that mainstays like Eva Mendes and Kate Beckinsale didn't make #1... well, shyeah! They're more like big sisters to us guys now. If there's one thing we desire above all, it's the latest and greatest, preferably with a guy's name... something like that.