Barack Sonnenfeld... CALL YOUR MOTHER

There's only two debuts this week, and I feel compelled to start with the first.  It's the latest from Barry Sonnenfeld, and it's called Nine Lives.  Now, some of the reporters out there, even snarkier than I am, say that Nine Lives died at the box office this week.  Somewhere, Johnny Depp wonders if it was his film that did so.  All I know is, it's Kevin Spacey doing a small project between big projects... you know, "House of Cards," and all that... and, judging from its plot, it's a thinly veiled stab at Donald Trump, is it not?  And yet, I check my email this weekend... nothing.  Nothing from Donna Brazile, Debbie Wasserman Schultz, Howard Dean... you know, Democrats whose first or last name begins with 'd'... nothing urging me to organize bus trips with my Atheist, pot-smoking friends to venture out in droves to the cinema to see Nine Lives.  Not a tweet, no text, no IM, no dic-pics, nothing.  So for those of you who say that both political parties are exactly the same, contemplate that difference for a second.
Meanwhile, did Sonnenfeld get an invite to direct two episodes of "House of Cards"?  Maybe, but he apparently passed on it.  Poor guy; must be exhausted, what with bringing his "Tick" reboot to... wherever.  But check out the list of cast and crew of Nine Lives... two Zimmermans on editing, two Galperines on music duty!  He misses the Coens, doesn't he?
Also, Cheryl Hines of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" fame returned after a pleasant working experience on RV... but enough about that for now.  The BIG story, of course, is that the much-advertised movie called Suicide Squad debuted at #1 this weekend.  The Onion reporters said that Margot Robbie deserves better than the rampant sexism of the aforementioned box office hit... well, not for $135 million at the box office, she apparently doesn't!  Don't they understand what internet porn is doing to our culture?  I heard Sharon Stone wanted to play the role of the new Joker's best girl, Harley Quinn (GET IT?!!!) but the sexist casting agents told her agent, "Sorry, but the role calls for someone in their 20s.  We had to tell Sandra Bullock no as well.  Sorry!"  But Sharon Stone went ahead and got the "Lucky You" tramp stamp, but on her stomach... you know, I could go to urbandictionary.com and try and figure out what they call a frontal tramp stamp, but I'd rather find out the hard way: by getting beat up over it on the schoolyard.