So we've got two dead comedians and a dead film director. It's a particularly bad time to be losing comedians, because... Donald Trump. Sorry, I mean Drumpf. He should really embrace the proud Drumpf heritage, preferably by leaving the White House as soon as possible, but obviously he can't. Just as soon as Putin cuts him that big check for lifting sanctions, adoption-related or otherwise, then our first corporate president can go. You know, the guy who keeps referring to the press as "Fake News." At least Nixon never doubted the reality of the press. But I guess it's a good life strategy. Anything you don't like in life, just call it fake. That bad grade I got on my term paper, that was a fake... my cellphone-induced brain tumor the size of a basketball, fake... Totally fake, folks. But I tell you one thing that's not fake: Joe Arpaio. Poor, long-suffering Joe Arpaio. But this 85-year old former sheriff of Arizona is a little bit luckier this week, because the old bastard is the first recipient of a Trump pardon. Now, I couldn't help but think to myself... Jee-zus! How many people have a copy of this damn Pee Pee Tape? Or maybe it's the Drumpf tax returns. Are they still secret? Are they still safe? Anyway... ah, Firefox. Everything takes a second now with Firefox. If I stop typing, and start up again, I have to wait a second. If I create a new hyperlink, I have to wait a second... no, two seconds! One second for pasting the link in the little window, and one second for hitting the "OK" button. I guess it will give these actions all the more meaning.
Where was I? Oh, right. Maybe it's Robert Mercer messing with my computer. See, Robert Mercer is the sugar daddy behind Alex Jones, who apparently did a lot of campaigning for the pardoning of Joe Arpaio. Robert Mercer is also behind KellyAnne Conway in the White House. Apparently, he made his bones working on artificial intelligence. You know, for computers. I guess that explains his taste in people to a degree. Maybe he was working on abnormal artificial intelligence or something. Might want to re-compile a couple of those COBOL programs of yours or something. Anyway, this week's box office. Well, Ryan Reynolds' latest movie is #1 for the second week in a row, which should make him happy. On the other hand, it's only made about 40 million dollars so far. Meanwhile, Jeremy Renner's latest movie has risen to #4! Of course, it's barely made 10 million dollars, but hey... it's a non-Avengers movie, so it's all good. But let's try and focus on the debuts this week. Let's not be like that old woman who ... ah, forget it. If you go on Google or Yahoo and type in "trump supporter racist tirade," well... you just get too many stories. I'm trying to find the one where she tells CEO Ravin Gandhi a bunch of delightful things... seriously, you kiss your grandchildren with that mouth? So that's all fine and dandy, but then she goes and screws it all up by bashing Nikki Haley. Um... you know she's a Republican, right? She's a Trump appointee! AND a Republican! Oh, whatever. I guess Nikki's used to it. It's your base, honey!
The point I was attempting to make is that it's what academics refer to as "scope creep." Stay focused. And so, this week's debuts. Basically, all the movies with a "1" at the right on the official IMDb Top 10 page. The first debut is... after seeing the poster, it's yet another Pixar wannabe, and it's either called Ballerina or Leap!, depending on which page you believe. I guess Leap! is the better choice for the moment... Americans can't handle any foreign-sounding words right now. A lot.
The only other debut is called Birth of the Dragon. I personally thought the TV ad I saw for this was a little misleading. They kind of implied that there's a new actor slash martial artist named Bruce Lee. But in the great, grand new tradition of prequels and backstories, this is basically if Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story were just about Enter the Dragon. That's the symptom of our age. Or maybe it's the way things have always been when it comes to Bruce Lee. It's Enter the Dragon this and Enter the Dragon that. Sounds a little kinky, BTW. What about The Way of the Dragon? I mean, Bruce wrote and directed that one, for Gawd'z Zake! What, is it chopped liver? And what about Kiss? No kiss?
No comments:
Post a Comment