...oh, right. The box office. Well, let's see, Ryan Reynolds' latest was #1, director Steven Soderbergh's latest was #3, and Jeremy Renner's latest non-Marvel-based movie, Winter's Bone... I mean, Wind River, enters the Top 10 at #10 after being on the charts at three weeks. (Jennifer Lawrence, why won't you return Debra's calls???) Okay, got that out of the way; back to Trump. I know, I should just mind my own business. I mean, this is a movie blog, after all. I mean, Drumpf's movie work is already pretty well confirmed as being beyond reproach, right? If only he tried a little bit harder to get points off of Home Alone 2, the good one.
But it's been a bad week for Drumpf. Drumpf companies are losing money... Steve Bannon's out of the White House, which Robert Mercer's probably not happy about. I mean, sure, they say that Steve Bannon's returning to Breitbart "News" the conquering hero and all that, but... if you had to pick between Brietbart "News" and THE WHITE HOUSE... that's a pretty easy choice, right? Yes, we've all made Steve Bannon angry... we won't like Steve Bannon when he's angry.
But the slight change this week in the usual barrage of bad Drumpf-based news is a slight glimmer of hope out of the violence and deaths at Charlottesville, Virginia. I'm not a big-time celebrity or anything, of course, and I don't have to send out press releases anytime something tragic happens, like about how our hearts and prayers go out to the victims... but my heart does go out to the victims of the violence at Charlottesville. Oh, White Supremacists and Neo-Nazis... it was so simple. All you had to do was keep a low profile for four to eight years, and you'd get practically everything you could have wanted from Vladimir Putin's pick for United States President! I was a little confused because, well... Trump won't condemn anything Putin does because of two reasons: 1) the pee-pee tape, and two, if Putin gets what he wants, then he'll have another Russian oligarch buy a Trump property at an over-inflated price or something. Perfect way to launder money. Now, Trump didn't condemn White Supremacists and Neo-Nazis... do they have a pee-pee tape on Trump? I'd be very surprised if they had money to give to Trump. I mean, enough to make Trump sit up and take notice. I'm told that Trump gets money because of his "genius." Nice work if you can get it, of course.
But it looks like it's time once again to deal with Neo-Nazis and White Supremacists. Kind of like how we have to deal with abortion over and over again in this country. Almost makes me wish I lived somewhere in the European union; France maybe. But girls with hairy armpits? Oh well, probably shouldn't be a problem for me. I think France has probably come to terms with the abortion issue a long time ago, but what do I know. Anyway, all the comedy show hosts have already dealt with this issue better than I alone possibly could, but I do have a question. I saw those rather professionally-shot videos of the White Supremacist marchers. Wonder what kind of a camera they used? Was it one of those cool new 'Red' cameras? Or maybe just a Canon EOS of some stripe. Maybe it was someone's iPhone 7; if it was, they're probably not going to use it in a commercial any time soon. But I noticed they were all carrying those torches called 'Tiki' torches... umm, those are Polynesian, right? Hypocrite much, guys? Where's those White People torches or Nazi torches you should be using?
As for White Supremacy itself, well... I'm looking for any advantage I can get in life, but somehow I don't see it amongst the White Supremacists. Any time I see White Supremacists on TV, it's usually at their isolated compounds someplace in the middle of nowhere. Okay, so they're real-estate savvy, that's one thing. But other than that, what makes them so supreme? I mean, can they fly? Can they shoot lasers out of their eyes? Anything remotely resembling the X-Men? No, because if they did, they'd be on TV the next day bragging all about it, showing off their ability to fly. So that's out, but how about beauty? We don't know how many of these neo-Nazis or White Supremacists / Nationalists / Alt-Right whatevers are out there... maybe the stats guy knows. Nate Silver. They must be breeding in sufficient numbers to be enough of a force, but do you find any of them exceptionally photogenic? I mean, in some circles, even Rush Limbaugh is probably a Midwest standard of beauty. A lot of people probably look like him out there in cheese country, but I gotta say the last time I saw a group of a dozen White Supremacists huddled around a TV news camera... man. Somebody whooped a few of those folks with a serious uggo stick. But I guess it's nice that they stick together. But more generally, have you ever seen a person with white skin and just said to yourself, man! That's some beautiful white skin they have! First of all, Michael Jackson eventually turned out whiter than most white people! And I think I've risked saying this before, maybe on this blog, and since the issue's come up, every once in a while I'll see someone from Africa with really dark skin and it'll be striking. One can't help but do a double take. I'm a very visual person, hence my love of movies I suppose. I can't remember the last time I did that with a white person. And if you're white with a lot of red freckles... sheesh. Not my thing. More of a Mormon thing, I suppose.
So neo-Nazis and White Supremacists aren't particularly photogenic beyond the average, and they have no superpowers to speak of. So how about intelligence? Seems to me that if someone commits an act of great intelligence... kind of hard to remember the last big one, maybe the time when Fermat's Last Theorem was solved. Ooh! How about the discovery of hot-carrier solar cells? How about Elon MUSK, for God's sake? I guess they're coming to me now. Now, with those examples, I don't remember anyone claiming that they were able to achieve these great things because of their particular ethnicity, or how "pure" their whiteness is. Are any of these neo-Nazis and White Supremacists aware how complicated a single strand of DNA is? Hundreds of thousands of ... excuse me, 3 billion base pairs of DNA in 46 chromosomes. If you want to sift through all that to find pure whiteness, have at it. I'm not going to bother. No, the only thing that neo-Nazis and White Supremacists seem to be really good at is committing acts of violence. Also, they apparently are allowed to carry semi-automatic weapons with them when they go on their little frog marches into small- to medium-sized towns. A few of the really exemplary ones seem to be good at getting their asses thrown in jail for murder. Maybe it's part of some larger game plan to try and reform the prison system from within. Maybe they don't publicly want to say anything about the disproportionate number of black people in our prison system, but at the same time they feel like our prisons just aren't white enough, and so they have to kill a few protestors every now and then to try and even out the scales a little bit, get a few more "pure" white people in prison. I think my favourite joke this week was the one Colin Jost said about how, say, just theoretically, if Warren Buffett or Channing Tatum started advocating for white supremacy... okay, it'd be a little weird, but sure, we'd at least hear them out. But when it's Dougie Two-Teeth running out of the woods on his way to his second shift at the hot dog stand... we're all, like, dude! What's your secret? Please, I want in on the ground floor of that! ...okay, a shout out to Michael Che as well. Probably the part where (C)he says "...I don't want to do this!" Oh, and where he says, what will make a comeback next? Polio? Roy Wood Jr. on "The Daily Show" tonight was awesome, as usual. He said what I was thinking: Neo-Nazis and White Supremacists, you guys just gotta chill, man! You've got your president, you don't want to lose him over this! Of course it may already be too late. If this isn't the straw that breaks Drumpf's back, well... I know his ego won't let him quit. And the pee-pee tape.
One last thought. I'm part Jewish myself, so naturally I've got my bias. But when I heard and saw all those white faces, holding the Polynesian torches, chanting "Jews will not replace us," I couldn't help but think to my partly Jewish self... I don't replace garbage. I throw it out. I don't put it on the table and call it caviar.
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