The Detroit-us of Modern Life

Brought to you by The Weak Magazine.  The Weak Magazine!  See, they try to sum up one week of the month in terms of news stories, mostly for conservatives.  I mean, sure, they have, like, one sentence for the liberals, then smother it to death with three or more sentences for the conservatives.  Well, they usually need a lot of extra help.  Anyway, this week on the cover of The Weak Magazine, they've got their finger on the pulse of the nation, because their cover features some message spelled out in guns.  You know, just like the El Paso mass shooter posted on social media!  What a good trend to coattail on!  But that's The Weak Magazine for you.  Order your subscription today!  Of course, they usually just bundle it in with other magazines.  You know, like how Rush Limbaugh bundles his various sponsors together, into a strong commune-type deal.  Hard to boycott just one at a time that way!  Also brought to you by Gym Etiquette.  Gym Etiquette!  For example, there's 40 lockers to a bench, so only one at a time on said bench, please.  Also, if you're at the keypad, you know, to get to the toilets or the pool area, and you see someone starting to come out, don't sit there punching the keypad like a complete douche!  Step away from the keypad and wait!  You WAIT!  Or has the whole world finally gone crazy?  That door is to protect you from the ongoing assault by illiterate, non-members of the gym trying to use the pool.  Or the toilets.  Or the pool AS a toilet.  It's the worst.  The WORST, Jerry.  Unfortunately, that's not a Snickers Bar floating around in there...
Okay, the data analysis is complete, and I'm ready to begin.  Plus, I had my short long weekend, so who needs blogging, am I right?  But the business of cinema-type show business grinds on, and no amount of plastic getting refused by 3rd World parties is going to stop it.  It's one of those weeks where the debuts rule.  There's five of the little darlings!  Dang.  I mean, that's like half of the top ten!  But not to worry, because all the important Marvel/Disney movies are getting the lion's share of the ticket sales; pun intended.  (snickering to self, smug expression on face)  Yeah, there's usually four debuts at the most, but there's five this week and... man, do they got long-ass titles!  Phew!  I mean, has there been a sudden uptick in American literacy that I don't know about?  I do know that the Amazon boxes this week are taped up with tape that says "Happy School Year."  And I ... I mean, the part of my brain that gathers all the raw audio-visual data of this world that I can, and processes it for the Department of Vague, General Assumptions pushes it aside for later came up with the following nugget of wisdom: well, THAT's new!  Is there something that Jeff Bezos isn't telling us?  I know there's a few pictures that, thankfully, he's not SHOWING us!  But did his financial division determine that this is the crucial year?  I mean, if our children's grades drop any further this year, they'll have to start hiring exclusively overseas for every position?  Even for Wal-Mart-style Door Greeters?  I mean, who knows, maybe it's a good thing.  Would you rather be greeted at Wal-Mart by your grandpa, or by a wise-looking old Korean dude dispensing Confucius-style nuggets of wisdom?  We're changing the world for the better here, people!  But the main point is, kids: study for your SAT's now.  Scour the dictionary for words that no one uses anymore NOW.  Study your math, even though your parents hate it... especially, when they as you to help them with it.  Yes, we're lousy parents.  Sorry.  Personally, I'm shocked that the new Dora the Explorer movie didn't debut at number 2!  What more do they want?  The director's worked with Ali G!  Eugenio Derbez is in it!  Street Cred much?  But I do have an idea for the IMDb for a new plot keyword category... don't know what to call it yet, but it's for that unique phenomenon where an animated show gets turned into a live action movie, as we used to call it.  The tsunami of CGI has buried the line under a thousand feet of water and blurred it forever.  No, I'm talking about stuff like the Dora movie, the live-action 2004 Thunderbirds movie, based on those creepy '50s puppets, the 2003 Underdog movie... and all the movies based on the Rocky and Bullwinkle series, the Garfield movies... it's a subtle distinction, 2B sure.  But maybe you ... okay, they got one called "Based on Cartoon."  So many that I forgot about.  They include the many, many Michael Bay Transformers movies, but somehow I don't put those in the same category as the ones I just mentioned.  For those, we need "Overlong Movie based on Cartoon based on Children's Toy."  You know, just because it's three hours long doesn't mean it's going to win the Oscar (TM) (C) (R) for Best Picture.
But goodbye to all that.  I'm trying to remember the names of all these movies, those... long, long names this week.  How to condense it down to one word when you actually go to purchase the ticket?  I mean, was one of them Direktør Ivar Knudsen til prøvesejlads om bord paa et dieselskib, omgivet af repræsentanter for handel og industri, hvoriblandt admiral A. de Richelieu, etatsraad Martin Dessau, gehejmeetatsraad Julius Larsen, baron Blixen-Finecke og flere?  No?  Well, how about Le voyage du Président Félix Faure en Russie (Août 1897): L'impératrice descend l'escalier rouge du palais de Saint-Pétersbourg, accompagnée des dames d'honneur et suivie de tous les princes et grands ducs de la cour impériale?  Perhaps it was Gertrude Stein hätte Chaplin gerne in einem Film gesehen, in dem dieser nichts anderes zu tun hätte, als eine Straße entlang und dann um eine Ecke zu gehen, darauf die nächste Ecke zu umwandern und so weiter von Ecke zu Ecke?  Maybe H.R.H. The Prince of Wales Decorating the Monument of Champlain and Receiving Addresses of Welcome from the Mayor of Quebec, the Governor General of Canada and Vice President Fairbanks, Representative of the United States?  What about Barney Ross of Chicago, in Defense of His World's Championship Welterweight Title Against Henry Armstrong of California, Featherweight Champion, Held at the Madison Square Garden Bowl, Long Island City, New York?  Night of the Day of the Dawn of the Son of the Bride of the Return of the Revenge of the Terror of the Attack of the Evil Mutant Hellbound Flesh Eating Crawling Alien Zombified Subhumanoid Living Dead, Part 5?  Night of the Day of the Dawn of the Son of the Bride of the Return of the Revenge of the Terror of the Attack of the Evil, Mutant, Hellbound, Flesh-Eating Subhumanoid Zombified Living Dead, Part 3?  Onsen maruhi daisakusen! 4: Noto hantô Wajima onsen wo meguru kyûkyoku no zuwaigani to dentô no waza Wajima-nuri no bi ni kakusareta renzoku satsujin no nazo!?  Portrait de groupe n° 142: Les cinématonés célèbrent devant le palais de Chaillot la rétrospective de la Cinémathèque française Cinématons, Autres Films, Carte blanche?  Las poquianchis (De los pormenores y otros sucedidos del dominio público que acontecieron a las hermanas de triste memoria a quienes la maledicencia así las bautizó)?  Hanzai higaisha sodanshitsu: Iyashi no jikenbo-honoo ga kaeta onna no jinsei! serebuzuma to kojuto no kakushitsu isharyo ka isan sozokuka kieta rikon todoke?  Fortschritt der Technik, Rückschritt der Menschen: Produktion und Rezeption einer Wissenschaftssendung unter dem Blickwinkel der Verständlichkeit?  Juggling: A Tribute to African-American, Asian-American, European-American, Jewish-American, Latino-American, Native-American and Women-American History?  Visita do Exmo. Snr. Ministro da Agricultura I. e Commercio, Dr. Pedro de Toledo a Escola de Artes e Officios de S.Paulo, Director Dr. Silveira da Motta?  Der Kaiser in Halle am 6. September 1903 - Ankunft Sr. Majestät des Kaisers und König Georg von Sachsen nebst Gefolge in Leipzig am 5. September 1903?  Entrei em Pânico ao Saber o que Vocês Fizeram na Sexta-feira 13 do Verão Passado Parte 2 - A Hora da Volta da Vingança dos Jogos Mortais de Halloween?  World's Heavyweight Championship Fight: Floyd Patterson Heavyweight Champion of the World versus Ingemar Johansson Heavyweight Champion of Europe?  Szenen aus dem Leben der Heiligen Johanna: Oper von Walter Braunfels '1943', inszeniert nach der Konzeption von Christoph Schlingensief?  Kamiki Ryûnosuke 20-Year-Old Journey Traveling the Vietnamese border railway - seeking the world's most beautiful scenery paddy field ~?  La-Re-Mi-La-Fa-Re-Mi-Do-Re-Fa-Do-Mi Fa-Re-Mi-Fa-Mi-La-Do-Mi-Fa-Mi-Re-Fa Mi-Fa-Mi-Re-La-Fa-Mi-Re-Do-Mi-Re-Mi Fa-Re-Mi-Fa-Mi-Do-Re-Mi-Re-Fa-Mi-La?  Giovanni Martinelli, Tenor, Assisted by Louis D'Angelo, Bass, of the Metropolitan Opera Company, in a Duet from Act IV of the Opera 'La juive'?  Pelerinaxe do 'Patronato Rosalia Castro' aos Lugares rosalianos e aitos orgaizados en homaxe da poeta o 'Dia de Galiza' de 1.951 en Sant-iago?  Henry Darcy Distinguised Lecture: Transport & Geochemical Controls on Solutes in a Clay-rich Aquitard System in Southern Saskatchewan, Canada?  Spetsyfichni typy komunikatsiyi u mizhnarodnykh informatsiynykh ta kulturnih vidnosynakh: Ukrayinskiy vymir universalnogo kodu kultovogo kino?  Philharmonische Revue - Ausschnitte der Veranstaltung des Berliner Philharmonischen Orchesters zu seinem 100-jährigen Bestehen 1982?  Portrait de groupe n° 146: Célébration des 100 heures de Cinématon et des 1789 portraits (toutes séries confondues) devant l'Opéra Bastille?  The One Valdisian Pastor Who Died and Resurrected Several Times in a Row and Is Found Thanks to the Thieving Hands of Unknown Tomb Raiders?  Dolf Jansen: Als ik het niet doe doet niemand het (en daar zal ook wel weer een reden voor zijn*) * maar mij wordt weer eens niets verteld?  Her Majesty the Queen Arriving at South Kensington on the Occasion of the Laying of the Foundation Stone of the Victoria & Albert Museum?  Verdammt lang her: Ruhrpott-Kumpel Adolf Tegtmeier alias Jürgen von Manger (1923-94) - Vor 35 Jahren zum erstenmal im Fernsehen?  Abigail White Presents: Interview with James W. Hawk, a Connecticut Filmmaker, Concerning the Making of Alpha to Omega - Part 4?  Nathan Daniel Philips (Or the Story of the 2018 Elections Week at North City Vocational Institute for Studies in the Technological Arts)?  Jean-Paul Marat förföljd och mördad så som det framställs av patienterna på hospitalet Charenton under ledning av herr de Sade?  Bakushô Mondai no dokkiri panikku feisu ô 4: Aki no kinkyû daisôsa 24 ji! Chôshi ni notteru geinôjin oshioki shichauzo! Dai patorôru SP?  Zavis, knize pornofolku pod vlivem Griffithovy Intolerance a Tatiho Prazdnin pana Hulota aneb Vznik a zanik Ceskoslovenska (1918-1992)?  Charles Rigoulot, champion olympique de poids et haltères, jette à deux mains 152 kg, battant le record détenu par l'Allemand Goessler?  Huumausainenäytelmä eli Kamal Yrgyplyn ja hänen hashispussinsa ihmeellinen matka Turkista Suomeen ja mitä sitten tapahtui...?  Beniamino Gigli, Assisted by M. Picco and Minna Egener and the Metropolitan Opera Chorus in Three Numbers from 'Cavalleria Rusticana'?  Sperduti nel buio: storia di un film che c'era e non si trova più, e di un cinema che non c'era ma che si voleva fare a tutti i costi?  Captain E.J. Smith, R.N.R. Commander of the Ill Fated S.S. Titanic: A Final Inspection of His Vessel Ten Minutes Before Sailing Time?  Celebrity Dr. Chuck Gnosis, Doctor of the Universe (DU) Candid Travels Texas Trail of Lights Austin, Texas 50th Anniversary?  La Voix au chapitre: Jean-Marie Drot à propos de 'Vive Joseph Delteil' et Robert Sabatier présente 'Les Noisettes sauvages'?  Ellinikos telikos gia tin anadeixi tou tragoudiou pou tha mas ekprosopisei ston 57o panevropaiko diagonismo tis Eurovision?  From the Ground Tier to a Sparrow Batch: a Newfoundland Treasury of Terms for Ice and Snow, Blast Hole Pond River, Winter 2012-2013?  Constructing Reality: Exploring Media Issues in Documentary - Voices of Experience, Voices for Change Part 2. The Poetry of Motion?  Genchi shuzai tokuhô dai 2 dan! Bei kûgun shunôbu ga uchûjin to kaiken! Chika himitsu shisetsu de UFO wo seizô shiteiru!??  Mr. Poincaré in Vlaanderen. Februari 1920. Overhandiging van het Franse Oorlogskruis aan de steden Ieper, Diksmuide en Nieuwpoort?  Der Kaiser in Halle am 6. September 1903 - Der Kaiser an der Spitze der Fahnenkompagnie von der Merseburger Parade zurückkehrend?  Über den Gehorsam. Szenen aus Deutschland, wo die Unterwerfung des eigenen Willens unter einen fremden als Tugend gilt?  Réfutation de tous les jugements, tant élogieux qu'hostiles, qui ont été jusqu'ici portés sur le film 'La société du spectacle'?  Ai to inochi to namida no zen kiroku 'Yomei ikkagetsu no hanayome': Nyûgan to tatakatta ni jû yon sai saigo no messêji?  Pacôme Thiellement rencontre le public de la librairie Floury Frères de Toulouse autour de son livre 'La victoire des sans roi'?  Happy End oder Wie ein kleines Heilsarmeemädchen Chicagos größte Verbrecher in die Arme der Gesellschaft zurückführte?  Wir kommen uns beschweren - 71 Variationen einer Phänologie des Widerspruchs am Beispiel einer Schnellrestaurantkette?  Inauguration of President Roosevelt. President-Elect Roosevelt, Vice-President-Elect Fairbanks and Escort Going to the Capitol?  Le voyage du Président Félix Faure en Russie (Août 1897): Sa majesté l'impératrice de Russie au bras du Président Félix Faure?  Top 10 Movie Moments That Have Nothing to Do with the Scene from Frankenstein Where the Monster Throws the Girl into the Pond?  Der beste Schriftsteller unter den zeitgenössischen Wasserballern - Friedrich Torberg und seine Beziehung zum Sport?  Herzlichen Glückwunsch, Loriot! - Ein Rückblick auf Loriots erste Schritte im Fernsehen mit Markus Brock und Gästen?  Der Kaiser in Halle am 6. September 1903 - Der Bürgermeister zu Halle überreicht Sr. Majestät Kaiser Wilhelm den Ehrentrunk?  The Fragile White Blossoms Emit a Hypnotic Cascade of Tropical Perfume Whose Sweet Heady Odor Leaves Its Victim Intoxicated?  The Happenstances at the Yellow County Community Swim and Racquet Club the Summer Before Last Video Promos and Book Trailer?  Die Schule der Ehe, die Schule der Gatten, die Schule der Gattinnen, ein Kurs für Fortgeschrittene in 2 Lektionen?  Die Antigone des Sophokles nach der Hölderlinschen Übertragung für die Bühne bearbeitet von Brecht 1948 (Suhrkamp Verlag)?  Kinkyû UFO genchi shuzai tokuhô: Bei seifu ga uchûjin to kôshiki kaiken! Kyôfu no himitsu kyôtei wo musundeita!??  The Epic Tale of Kalesius and Clotho: A Meditation on the Impossibility of Romantic Love in a Rapidly Expanding Universe?  Une journée bien remplie ou Neuf meurtres insolites dans une même journée par un seul homme dont ce n'est pas le métier?  Su excelencia el presidente de la república Dr. Cecilio Báez, en compañía del ministro de guerra, Gral Benigno Ferreira?  Exotisme, coups de poing et porte-jarretelles ou Wolfgang C. Hartwig, les secrets d'un producteur de séries B?  Master Qi: The Ancient Art of Maximum Efficiency in Self Preservation and Hand Punching with Kicks and Ground Fighting?  Especial informativo. X aniversario de la fir ma del tratado de adhesión de España a las comunidades europeos?  It's Quicker by Hearse: The Tale of the Petitioning Housewife, the Protesting Schoolboy and the Campaign Trail Student?  Die Schweiz im Schatten des Dritten Reiches: Konzentrationslager in der Schweiz, Büren an der Aare, 1940-1945?  Électre, le droit à la folie pour tous, ou la Vengeance en question. Leçon de théâtre n°11 d'Antoine Vitez, 1976-1998.?  Nationale feesten 1919. Aankomst te Brussel van de Republikeinse garde. Het bezoek van president Poincaré aan Brussel?  Der Kaiser von Deutschland, der Kaiser von Österreich und der König von Sachsen am Tage der Jubiläumsfeier in Dresden?  Desfile del marcial Cuerpo de Bomberos al mando del comandante González, donde aparece multitud de personas conocidas?  Farewell Message of Mr. Levine and Captain Hinchcliffe, Just Before Their Departure on Their Return Flight to America?  Britain's Got the Pop Factor... and Possibly a New Celebrity Jesus Christ Soapstar Superstar Strictly on Ice?  Frisch gewendet - Ein erbauliches Fernseh-Festprogramm aus Anlaß der 20. Grimme-Preisverleihung 1984 in Marl?  The Failure Delusion: How to Overcome Your Fears Through Meditation, Perseverance, and Visualization in 25 Easy Steps?  100 Things You Always Wanted to Know About Shrek But Were Afraid to Ask So We're Gonna Tell You Anyway Movie Special?  Maverick and Ariel's First Ever Ever Movie Hollywood or Else... (Ang pinakamahabang title ng movie sa balat ng lupa)?  West Bank One: The Portugal Stories - (The Dramatic Retelling of the Story of Cats, Dogs, and Women) - A Documentary?  The Covenant with America's Wounded Warriors: John Mateczun and the New Walter Reed National Military Medical Center?  Vom 'Chat Noir' zum 'Tingeltangel' - Eine Geburtstagsfeier für Willi Schaeffers, den Meister der Kleinkunst?  Herstory: The Short Biography of Adriane Chraïbi or How the Mindcatcher was Conceived, Made, Used and Then Destroyed?  Breaking the Magician's Code: Magic's Biggest Secrets Finally Revealed 4 - Unmasking the Magician: The Final Reveal?  Kita arupusu sangaku kyûjotai Shimon Ikki 11: Tanigawadake Shiroumadake Jônendake Nazo no satsujin messêji?  Das Leben ist kein Fußballspiel - Auf der Suche nach dem Abseits: Teil 5 (Verlängerung) -- passiv - aktiv - abseits?  Live from Jerusalem: Israel Philharmonic Orchestra Live with Zubin Mehta Featuring Renée Fleming and Joseph Calleja?  20min Walk from Nishi-Ogikubo Station, 2 Bedrooms, Living Room, Dining Room, Kitchen, 2mos Deposit, No Pets Allowed?  I am pretty sure that the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority wants me to fall in love with the stranger next to me?  Die harte Welle - Pornos made in USA - Dokumente des schlechten Gewissens - Filme in denen man alles sieht?  Ten Minutes (based on the stage play Greenly High Night School Mr. Robinson Returns): Part 4 - Before the Beginning?  Debyut pershokursnyka, 11 lystopada 2015: Daydzhest vystupu zbirnoyi Istorychnogo ta Fizyko-Technichnogo fakultetiv?  Machurrucutu II: Haz lo incorrecto... o Cómo nos la ingeniamos para hacer un documental sobre la Escuela de Teatro?  Nach langen Jahren ein Wiedersehen mit meinem Bruder aus Bulgarien während einer kurzen Zwischenlandung in München?  A Rough Sketch for a Proposed Film Dealing with the Powers of Ten and the Relative Size of Things in the Universe?  President McKinley and Wife, Members of His Cabinet and Their Wives and Capt. Coghlan Leaving the Cruiser Raleigh?  Toscanini: The Television Concerts, Vol. 3 - Brahms: Double Concerto, Hungarian Dance No. 1, Liebeslieder Waltzes?  Kinkyû genchi shuzai tokuhô: Ei kûgun kichi ni UFO chakuriku! Gun shireikan ga uchûjin to kaiken shita!??  Kamen raidâ x Kamen raidâ x Kamen raidâ the movie: Choudenou torirojî - Episôdo Burû - Haken imajin wa new toraru?  New Improved Institutional Quality: In the Environment of Liquids and Nasals a Parasitic Vowel Sometimes Develops?  Les yeux ne veulent pas en tout temps se fermer, ou Peut-être qu'un jour Rome se permettra de choisir à son tour?  Filmforum - Was Sie schon immer über Sex wissen sollten - Zur Geschichte des deutschen Aufklärungsfilms?  Dinni e la Normalina, ovvero la videopolizia psichiatrica contro i sedicenti gruppi di follia militante?  Asahiyama dôbutsuen Shirokuma enchô Inochi no jikenbo 2: Kamui kotan - Tenninkyô renzoku satsujin jiken?  Zwei Kommissare auf Spurensuche - Axel Prahl und Jan Josef Liefers wandern durch Mecklenburg-Vorpommern?  Observations of an Android Clinging on to Memories of the Human Race (Rohil Aniruth's the Highschool Collection)?  Diversity News Magazine, Diversity News Radio and Diversity News TV Holiday Public Service Announcement?  Le bain de foule du président grolandais Salengro à Toulouse pour la distribution des eugros au peuple Groccitan?  Brigitte, Laura, Ursula, Monica, Raquel, Litz, Florinda, Barbara, Claudia, e Sofia le chiamo tutte... anima mia?  The Adventures of a Man in Search of a Heart: A Joleron Production Starring the Tin Woodman from the Land of Oz?  Agobiado y distraído en un motel de carretera una calurosa noche de primavera con seis preguntas y tres muertos?  Mikis Theodorakis: To hroma tis eleftherias - Ihnografontas ta neanika hronia tou syntheti (1925-1950)?  Mr. Marikku vs geinôkai daisutâ gundan zenmen taiketsu torikku miyaburi batoru chômajutsu kanzen hôimô?  Kamen raidâ x Kamen raidâ x Kamen raidâ the movie: Choudenou torirojî - Episôdo Lerô - Otakara de endo pairêtsu?  A Link to the Past, a Vision of the Future: Hudson County William J. Brennan Court House Centennial Documentary?  Through the Weeping Glass: On the Consolations of Life Everlasting (Limbos & Afterbreezes in the Mütter Museum)?  I agnosti Ellada: To mihanima ton Antikythiron kai ta robot tis arhaiotitas (I tehnologia ton arhaion)?  Ein kleines Reise-ABC: Eine Trostfibel für Daheimgebliebene nebst praktischem Ratgeber für die anderen?  A Small, Unimportant, and Beautiful Life or: (The Explanation of an Unexplained Journey Through the Multiverse)?  O ypourgos psifiakis politikis tilepikoinonion kai enimerosis Nikos Pappas ef' olis tis ylis stin ERT3?  Die indiskrete Wirtin - oder die Geschichte vom Untermieter, der seine Briefe gern allein lesen wollte?  Dark Days at the White House: The Watergate Scandal and the Resignation of President Richard M. Nixon?  Adrienne Clarkson Presents: A Tribute to Peppiatt & Aylesworth: Canada's First Television Comedy Team?  Der Hitler/Ludendorff-Prozeß - Szenen aus einem Hochverratsprozeß in einer Republik ohne Republikaner?  50 Years of Television: A Celebration of the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences Golden Anniversary?  Kamen raidâ x Kamen raidâ x Kamen raidâ the movie: Choudenou torirojî - Episôdo Reddo - zero no sutâto winkuru?  Bert Lewis, Accompanied by Jack Carroll at the Piano, Sings 'I Wonder How I Look When I'm Asleep' (and Others)?  Das Beste an der ARD sind ihre Anfänge - Die 'Stuttgarter Schule' - Dokumentarfilm im 20. Jahrhundert?  The Impaler: A Biographical/Historical Look at the Life of Vlad the Impaler, Widely Known as Dracula?  Le voyage du Président Félix Faure en Russie (Août 1897): Entrée du Président Félix Faure à Saint-Pétersbourg?  Charles Hackett of the Chicago Opera Company Sings 'Questa o quella' and 'La donna è mobile' from 'Rigoletto'?  The Real Life of True Ghost Hunters Exposed: For Real: Undercover: Westside Apparition and Paranormal Soceity?  Facebook Debates, Retweets, and My Opinion: Does the Bible Have a Place in the Marketplace of Ideas??  Naze shoujo wa kioku wo ushiawanakereba naranakattanoka?: Kokoro no kagakusha Narumi Saku no chousen?  Angriff der sehr gefährlichen ekeligen schwarzen Würmer aus einer unbekannten fernen Galaxie die keiner kennt?  Muhammed Ali/Sammy Davis, Jr./Marvin Gaye and Richard Pryor: Celebrity Boxing Match at the Olympic Auditorium?  will.i.am and Friends Featuring the Black Eyed Peas - Landmarks Live in Concert: A Great Performances Special?  Force Multipliers: How Transportation and Supply Chain Stakeholders are Combatting Human Trafficking?  Constructing Reality: Exploring Media Issues in Documentary - Voices of Experience, Voices for Change Part 1?  Grand Delhi Coronation Durbar and Royal Visit to Calcutta Including Their Majesties' Arrival at Amphitheatre?  Anohi, bokura no inochi wa toiretto pêpâ yorimo karukatta: Kaura horyo shûyôjo kara no daidasshutsu?  Anime joshibu Danshi 3-nin monogatari: Yoshino, Nakamura tokidoki Hatano! Iyân ryokô wa obakansu SP?  The Truth About The Philadelphia Experiment: Invisibility, Time Travel and Mind Control - The Shocking Truth?  Als der Bruder meiner Mutter geboren wurde, duftete es nach wilden Birnenblüten vor dem braungebrannten Sims?  Jerry Seinfeld, Larry David & Jason Alexander at Tom's Restaurant: Seinfeld Reunion Super Bowl 2014?  Georgios Xenoudakis (1816 - 1888): O megalos evergetis, oramatistis kai protos vouleftis tis Kritis?  Konrad Adenauer - Gedanken und Erinnerungen zum 100. Geburtstag des ersten deutschen Bundeskanzlers?  What Is Behind the Canvas? (A Journey from Tisnov to Prague, or How Karel Vachek Brought Back His Paintings)?  Wenn Annemarie ins Wasser geht - Die seltsamen Erlebnisse, Erinnerungen und Phantasien des Herrn T.?  Freispruch für Old Shatterhand - Ein Dokumentarspiel über den Prozeß Karl Mays gegen Rudolf Lebius?  A Terrible Tragedy: Alarming Evidence from the Making of the Film - Costumes and Other Suspicious Disguises?  Approaches to the Psychology of Personality: Film No. 8 - Summary and Historical Development of Major Ideas?  The Library of Congress Gershwin Prize for Popular Song: In Performance at the White House - Paul McCartney?  SAD's (Students Advocating Death) Making Society Safe: The Correction Methodology and the Execution of Scum?  Der Mann im blauen Kittel - Der Maler Johannes Itten, vorgestellt von seiner Witwe Anneliese Itten?  Designed for Worship... Built for Service: A Brief History of the First Congregational Church of Long Beach?  Cinema Mythica: Orphan Arianne's Extraordinary Voyage of Self-discovery in the Mysterious Cinema by the Sea?  Le bonheur est dans les prés mais parfois c'est au fond d'un océan de souffrance qu'on finit par le trouver?  Being First is Forever: The incredible story of the first Simpson Desert crossing by motor vehicle?  Die Musik seid ihr, Freunde! - Danièle Huillet und Jean-Marie Straub bei der Arbeit an ihrem Film Sicilia!?  Their Majesties the King and Queen of Siam Visiting the Famous Carlsberg Breweries at Copenhagen (Denmark)?  Fêtes franco-russes: Cherbourg, Entrée des Souverains russes et du président de la République sous le hall?  The Incredible Journey of Barnaby Brickwild: A Man Destined to Marry a Woman Destined to Marry Another Man?  Presentation of the New State Colours to the Scots Guards: Review of Scots Guards by Her Majesty the Queen?  Dai nostri inviati: La Rai e l'Istituto Luce raccontano la Mostra del cinema di Venezia 1932-1953?  In memoriam - Eine Gedenksendung zum 80. Geburtstag des großen deutschen Regisseurs Max Reinhardt?  Celebrity Doctor Liam Sullivan Stone Candid Records Historical Album ATX InterCession 13 in Texas?  Vom Alex zur Gedächtniskirche - Der Weg des Berliner Kabaretts von der Jahrhundertwende bis heute?  Lilla Märta kommer tillbaka eller Grevinnans snedsteg eller Den vilda jakten efter det hemliga dokumentet?  Constructing Reality: Exploring Media Issues in Documentary - What Is a Documentary? Ways of Storytelling?  Sukeban Deka III: Shôjo ninpô-chô denki: san-shimai mottomo kiken na tabi: yattsu no shi no wana?  Surviving Gilligan's Island: The Incredibly True Story of the Longest Three Hour Tour in History?  Malchen, die Unschuld vom Lande - Humoristischer Lehrfilm über die Gesundheitspflege des täglichen Lebens?  Der Kaiser in Halle am 6. 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...no?  Not even close?  Well, BACK TO THE KITCHEN THEN!!!  I mean, BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD THEN!!!  Oooooooops.... sorry 'bout the shouting, Ma.