Whelp, since Hollywood is still shut down, aside from a pocket of resistance here and there, there are no movies to badmouth this week. But I wouldn't dream of depriving you all of my usual segment, so since we've become a world of amateur virologists, what movies are out there with the word "Virus" in the title? Well, I'm an old-timer, so the one that comes to mind is 1998's... 1999's Virus, starring Jamie Lee Curtis. I remember the trailer for that one quite well, and the rocket getting fired at the camera. I was underwhelmed at the time... or so I thought? Funny what the brain gloms onto as the years and neurons and neural connections pass. And then there's...
...oh, crap. Guess that's the only one I got. Time to go to Plan B. I mean, SURELY there are others! No one else ever thought of using the word "Virus" in a title? I mean, how about #virus? "100 Things to Do Before High School" Survive the Virus Attack Trapped in Your Home Base Station Thing!? 3000 scénarios contre un virus? "3000 scénarios contre un virus" Affreux, bêtes et très méchants? "3000 scénarios contre un virus" Arnaud et ses copains? "3000 scénarios contre un virus" Avant... mais après? "3000 scénarios contre un virus" Bavardages en SIDA mineur? "3000 scénarios contre un virus" Déshabille-toi que je t'habille? "3000 scénarios contre un virus" Discussion sur le préservatif entre un père et son fils? "3000 scénarios contre un virus" I love you? "3000 scénarios contre un virus" Je t'aime moi non plus? "3000 scénarios contre un virus" L'anniversaire? "3000 scénarios contre un virus" L'appel d'un ami? "3000 scénarios contre un virus" L'attente? "3000 scénarios contre un virus" L'exclusion? "3000 scénarios contre un virus" La chambre? "3000 scénarios contre un virus" La pharmacie? "3000 scénarios contre un virus" La seringue? "3000 scénarios contre un virus" La sirène? "3000 scénarios contre un virus" La teuf d'enfer? "3000 scénarios contre un virus" Le flic? "3000 scénarios contre un virus" Le rap du sida? "3000 scénarios contre un virus" Le rêve? "3000 scénarios contre un virus" Le sida, c'est les autres? "3000 scénarios contre un virus" Le temps du bonheur? "3000 scénarios contre un virus" Les deux amants? "3000 scénarios contre un virus" Mère séropositive? "3000 scénarios contre un virus" Mort d'un couple? "3000 scénarios contre un virus" Poisson rouge? "3000 scénarios contre un virus" Préservatif, une preuve d'amour? "3000 scénarios contre un virus" Sidapolis? "3000 scénarios contre un virus" Vertige de l'amour? "3000 scénarios contre un virus" Zozo, le clown? "5x5" 5 Best Video Game Viruses? "60 Minutes" The Battle for Mosul/The National Mood/The Zika Virus? "7 vidas" A la vejez, viruelas? A Tribe Called Red: The Virus - Ft. Saul Williams, Chippewa Travellers? A Virus? A Virus Called Fear? "A.Z.A.S: All Zombies Are Stupid" Il Virus T-Ick? "ABC World News Tonight with David Muir" The Melissa Virus? "Adaalat" CID Viruddh Adaalat? "Airwolf" X-Virus? "Al salir de clase" Un virus de primavera? "Al salir de clase" Virus asesino? "Alerte, danger immédiat" Le virus des glaces? "Alle meine Töchter" Das Virus? "Alles was zählt" Ein gefährlicher Virus breitet sich im Zentrum aus? "Alphateam - Die Lebensretter im OP" Das Virus? American Virus? Anatomy of a Virus: The Making of Antiviral? "Anime Abandon" Virus Buster Serge? AntiVirus? Antivirus? "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" The Tale of the Renegade Virus? "Arison to Riria" Arison to Viru? "Ashtonimations' Caillou Gets Grounded Show" Caillou Installs A Virus On The School Computer? Attack of the Giant Virus? Auntie Virus? "Autopalatsi" Tietokonevirus iskee palatsiin? "Badía y Cia" Virus? "Badía y Cia" Virus II? "Badía y Cia" Virus III? Bapu Viru Vategavkar? "Bergerac" The Deadly Virus? "Big Band Clan" Capítulo 8 - Virus contagiosos Big Band Clan? "Binnenstebuiten" Virus? "Board James" Omega Virus? "Brady's Beasts" How to Vex a Virus? "Brigada de fenómenos" El virus de Tabernas? "Bruno the Kid" Virus? "C.I.D." CID Viruddh Adaalat: Part 1? "C.I.D." CID Viruddh Adaalat: Part 2? "C.I.D." Khatarnak Virus Ka Rahsya: Part 1? "C.I.D." Khatarnak Virus Ka Rahsya: Part 2? "C.I.D." The Case of the Horrifying Virus: Part 1? "C.I.D." The Case of the Horrifying Virus: Part 2? "C'est la crise" Un méchant virus? "Caméra café" Le virus? "Captain Scarlet" Virus? Caustic Method: The Virus? "Chicago Hope" The Virus? "Chipped" Virus? Cinémas d'Horreur - Apocalypse, Virus, Zombies? "Code Lyoko Evolution" Virus? "Colby's Clubhouse" Vandella Virus Visits? Con el virus bajo la piel? "Cosmic Disclosure" Pathogens and Space Viruses? "Crimini bianchi" Il virus dell'impiccato? "Cuerpo de élite" El virus? D.I.K. - Jagd auf Virus X? "Dans une galaxie près de chez vous" Le virus? "De afdeling" Virus? "De kotmadam" Italiaans virus? Dead Virus? Der Bergdoktor - Virus? "Der Patenonkel" Grippevirus A? Devatenact klaviru? Devirus.doc? "Die Anrheiner" Das Kringsmänner-Virus? "Die Lehrer" Pornovirus? "Letzte Spur Berlin" Hochvirulent? "Doctor Who FanFilm Series: MB & Homeland" The Robot Virus? "Duro de domar" Gabriel Rolón/Virus? e-Virus? "Earthrise" Tales from Virunga? Ein Virus kennt keine Moral? "El ministerio del tiempo" Un virus de otro tiempo? "El mundo de Chema" Virus? El virus de la por? El virus del poder? Electrovirus? "Emergency!" Virus? "Encuentro en el Estudio" Virus? "ENSV: Eesti Nõukogude Sotsialistlik Vabariik" Viru veri? "Estació d'enllaç" Virus? "Eye on Entertainment" Sneak Peek of Empire Films' 'Virus X'? "Eye on Entertainment" Virus X Party for 2010 Shriekfest Film Festival? "Farmacia de guardia" A la vejez, viruelas? Fear Is the Virus? Fighting Viruses in the Lab and Beyond? Flying Virus? "Forbidden Science" Virus? "Fratelli Katano" Virus? "Freak Encounters" Vampire Virus? "Freak Out" Flesh Eating Viruses Freak Me Out!? "Frontline/World" Hong Kong, Chasing the Virus? "Gatos en el tejado" Viruelas? "Genesis Week" It's SuperVirus!? "Genesis Week" Viruses Sick of Evolution? Giovanni ed Elviruccia? "Giovanni ed Elviruccia" Episode #1.1? "Giovanni ed Elviruccia" Episode #1.2? "Giovanni ed Elviruccia" Episode #1.3? "Giovanni ed Elviruccia" Episode #1.4? Global Viral. Die Virus-Metapher? "Good Morning, Tonight!" Responsible Virus Ownership? "Good Mythical Morning" The Unbelievable Laughing Virus of 1962? "Hagan Reviews" Virus? "Hallo, Onkel Doc!" Das Virus? "Hausmeister Krause - Ordnung muss sein" Der Killervirus? Het Virus? "Horizon" AIDS: A Strange and Deadly Virus? "Horizon" Why Do Viruses Kill?? Human Virus? Il Virus? Image Is Virus? "Intelligence - Servizi & segreti" Il mistero del virus? "Intensive Care" Virus? Iron Maiden: Virus? "Island Son" Viruses? Jake Estrada's the Human Virus? "JDG la revanche" VIRUS? "Jede Menge Leben" Angstvirus? Johnny Virus? "Joueur du Grenier" Virus - Playstation? Kadhal Virus? "Kamisama mousukoshi dake" The Love That I Staked My Life on Begins Now... A Notice of AIDS Virus Infection? "Key: The Metal Idol" Virus I? "Key: The Metal Idol" Virus II? "Kickstarter Crap" The Unknown Virus? Kida Virunthu? Killer Virus: Hunt for the Next Plague? "Kin iro no koruda: Primo passo" Kokô no virutûôso? "Kiseki taiken! Anbiribabô" Killer Virus? "Kiseki taiken! Anbiribabô" Revival of the Devil Virus! - Mitigating the Infection Breakout? "Kurzgesagt: In a Nutshell" The Ebola Virus Explained - How Your Body Fights for Survival? L'antivirus? "L33t Haxxors" Virus? "La Casa" Virus? "La colonia" Viruela? "La crim'" Un crime virulent? "La croisière Foll'amour" Le virus? "La Gira" El virus? "La minute nécessaire de Monsieur Cyclopède" Tentons en vain d'isoler le virus de la peste? "La rosa de Guadalupe" VPH: el virus silencioso? "Lab Rats" Night of the Living Virus? "Law & Order" Virus? "Léa Parker" Virus? "Leonning maen" The Zombie Virus Race? Les deux virus? "Lindenstraße" Der Virus? "Los ladrones van a la oficina" El virus de la Navidad? "M.E.T.R.O. - Ein Team auf Leben und Tod" Raubgräber-Virus? "Man I Hate Mondays" The Ebola Virus Song? "Mansarda" Virus? "MegaMan: NT Warrior" The Virus Factory? Mickey Virus? "Microkillers" The French Viruses? "Mighty Max" Cyberskull Virus? "Mikmak" The Virus: Part 1? "Mikmak" The Virus: Part 2? "Ministério do Tempo" Um Vírus de Outro Tempo (A Virus from Another Time) - 1918/2016? "Miss Sherlock" Stolen Virus? "Mona the Vampire" Von Kreepsula Runs Amok/The Nefarious Computer Virus? "Moncloa ¿dígame?" De chupetones, decomisos y virus informáticos? Untitled Project? "My Favorite Martian" Virus M for Martian? "My Hero" Space Virus? "Na Aana Iss Des Laado" Dia's death and her virulence rites? "National Geographic Explorer" The Virus Hunters? C/o Surya? Nenjile Thunivirundhal? "Neo Magazin" Der Norovirus Kotzcontest? "Neo Magazin" Virus in der Snack Salami? "Nettravnene" Datavirus? "Newton's Apple" Cancer Causes/Frisbees/Computer Virus? "Nightmares & Dreamscapes: From the Stories of Stephen King" The Road Virus Heads North? "Ninja the Mission Force" Ninja Virus? "No, You Shut Up!" Killer Viruses? "Nynne" Påske virus? "Ocean Girl" The Red Virus? Pandemonium: Virus NZ1? "Parlons peu... Parlons Cul" Le Papillomavirus? Perku Jusu Viru? Pesum Virus? Pevanja na viru? "Plats bruts" Tinc un virus? "Play!" The Uke Virus? "Portail Sciences" Les Virus et bactéries? "Psico express" Virus i fantasmes? "Pura Química" Raúl 'Pacha' Cardozo/Virus? "ReBoot" Crouching Binome, Hidden Virus? "Redes" La invasión de los virus? "Redes" Los virus no han muerto? "Redes" Virus emergentes? "Redes" Virus y bacterias: la plaga del siglo XXI? "ReGenesis" The Oldest Virus? Resistant Virus an STD? Retrovirus? Rise of the Virus? "Rob the Robot" Space Virus Blues? "Robot Trains" Runaway Virus Train? "Robot Trains" The Attack of the Virus? Rocket Pack Jack and the Babylon Virus? "Rox" Virus? Runaway Virus? "Ruusun aika" Tavallinen virustauti? "Sa puso ni dok" The Virus? "Saber vivir" Infecciones por hongos y virus? "Saber vivir" Protégete de los virus? "Saber vivir" Trastornos por virus? "Saber vivir" Virus que dan más guerra? "Según Roxi" La etapa de los virus? "Sept nains et moi" The Big Bad Virus? "Seven Days" The Gettysburg Virus? "Shin Shûkan TV Hihyô" New Virus and Media Report? Silent Virus? "Sledstvie veli..." Smertelnyy virus? "Smosh" The Vlog Virus? Social Virus? "Sorties Savantes" Survivors: Un virus peut-il tuer 99% de la population en quelques jours?? "Spirou" Virus? Spread the Virus? "Spynet" Computer Virus? "Star Wars: The Clone Wars" Blue Shadow Virus? "Sturm der Liebe" Gefährlicher Virus? "Sûpâ Robotto Reddo Baron" Horror of the Vampire Virus? "Superhuman Samurai Syber-Squad" Hasta la Virus, Baby? "Superhuman Samurai Syber-Squad" My Virus Ate My Homework? "Superhuman Samurai Syber-Squad" Portrait of the Artist as a Young Virus? "Superhuman Samurai Syber-Squad" Rock n' Roll Virucide? "SuperMarioGlitchy4" SMG4: Mario and the T-Pose Virus? "Survivor" That Girl Is Like a Virus? "Suspense" Virus X? "Tatort" Virus? "TechKnow" Beyond Ebola: The Virus Hunters? "TEDTalks" Nathan Wolfe's Jungle Search for Viruses? "Tekkaman Blade" Eviru - yomigaeru akuma? "Tekkaman Blade" Soretsuna! eviru shishu? "Telecomedia de humor" A la vejez viruelas? Terminal Virus? "Terreur 404" Le virus? "The Adventures of James & Jake" Cat Virus? "The Adventures of James & Jake" The Storm Virus? "The Adventures of Shirley Holmes" The Case of the Vanishing Virus? The Agency: Pursuit of the Ares Virus? "The Amazing World of Gumball" The Virus? "The Blueprint Saints" Virus? "The Catterson Chronicles" The Computer Virus? "The Colony" The Virus? The Commander: Virus? "The Completionist" Mega Man Battle Network: The Best Anti-Virus? The Computer Virus? "The Doctors" Breaking News on the Ebola Virus/Extremely Odd Cravings/Skin Feels Like Glass/Sudden Loss of Taste and Smell/Surprising Reasons for Your Digestive Disorders? "The Doctors" Lose Weight with Jelly Beans?/Fungal Infections Linked to Your Makeup?/Alarming New Mosquito-Borne Virus/Medicinal Marijuana? "The Doctors" Valerie Harper Reveals Update on Her Health Crisis/Combat Cancer with Polio Virus?/New Age-Defying Procedure Put to the Test? "The Dr. Oz Show" Breaking News: The Zika Virus: A Public Health Emergency in the Making?? "The Dr. Oz Show" The New Deadly Mystery Virus Spreading Fast? The Drone Virus? "The Goodies" Clown Virus? The Human Virus? "The Jeff Probst Show" The Mom Who Lost Her Limbs to a Flesh-Eating Virus? "The Jersey" NFL Virus? The Mandala Virus: Samsara? "The Mars 500 Show" Virus? "The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore" The Pope vs. Zika Virus & Black Voters? The Paradise Virus? "The Pretender" A Virus Among Us? "The Public Space" The Amazing World of Viruses? "The Revolting World of Stanley Brown" Night of the Living Virus? The Road Virus Heads North? "The Story of Tracy Beaker" Dumping Ground Virus? The Virus? The Virus? The Virus? The Virus? The Virus? The Virus? The Virus? "The Virus" Episode #1.1? "The Virus" Episode #1.2? "The Virus" Episode #1.3? The Virus Hunter? The Virus Hunter's Toolkit? The Virus of War? The Virus Project? The Virus: A Short Film? The Z Virus? "The Z Virus" About Last Night? "The Z Virus" Bunker Fever? "The Z Virus" Now Is the Time? "The Z Virus" Nowhere to Hide? "The Z Virus" Uninvited Guests? "The Z Virus" Zombies on the Right? This Darkness: The Vampire Virus? "Through the Wormhole" Is Gun Crime a Virus?? "Toda Max" Lady G. Catches a Virus? "TOME: Terrain of Magical Expertise" You've Gotta Virus? "Toscane" Waar het liefdesvirus heerst? Transfert per camera verso Virulentia? "Tribunal" Vilain virus? "TripTank" Brain Virus? "Triunfo del amor" Virus maligno? TV Virus? "Two's Company" The Virus? "UCB Comedy Originals" Dog Virus? "UCB Comedy Originals" That's What She Said Virus? Un virus dans la ville? "Und tschüss!" Rock'n'Roll-Virus? Understanding: Viruses? Ungal Viruppam? Urban Electronic Poetry: Das Wort ist ein Virus in der Automatik der Städte? "Urusei Yatsura" The Mysterious, Seductive Beauty Sakura/Virus in Distress? "V.R. Troopers" The Reality Virus? Valiba Virundhu? Venus Versus Virus? "Venus Versus Virus" Fukai omoi? Verdict on a Virus? "Veritas: The Quest" Mummy Virus? "Verschoten & zoon" Virussen? "Viden om" Dræbervirus? Viru - tarinoita hotellista? Viruddh? Viruddh... Family Comes First? Virudhagiri? Virulent? Virumandi? Virumbugirean? Virunga? Virunga: Gorillas in Peril? Virunnukari? Virupakshuni Vichitra Guha? Virus? Virus? Virus? Virus? Virus? Virus? Virus? Virus? Virus? Virus? Virus? Virus? Virus? Virus? Virus? Virus? Virus? Virus? Virus? Virus? Virus? Virus? Virus? Virus? Virus? Virus? Virus? Virus? Virus? Virus? Virus? Virus 9: Wreck Everything? Virus at Level Five? Virus Attack? "Virus Attack" Arghes e Goldor? "Virus Attack" Colpo al cuore (I parte)? "Virus Attack" Colpo al cuore (II parte)? "Virus Attack" Colpo al cuore (III parte)? "Virus Attack" Colpo al cuore (IV parte)? "Virus Attack" Convivenza difficile? "Virus Attack" Di nuovo in viaggio? "Virus Attack" Disastrose conseguenze? "Virus Attack" Doppio gioco? "Virus Attack" Freddo come l'odio? "Virus Attack" I misteri di Amaldi? "Virus Attack" I poteri di Dyamer? "Virus Attack" Il generale Astor? "Virus Attack" Il giorno della vendetta? "Virus Attack" Il momento più buio? "Virus Attack" Il potere del tatuaggio? "Virus Attack" Il primo antivirus? "Virus Attack" Il primo kryptus? "Virus Attack" Il sacrificio di Astra? "Virus Attack" Il totem dello stregone? "Virus Attack" Il vascello del capitano Shankar? "Virus Attack" In difesa della Terra? "Virus Attack" Khalerya? "Virus Attack" L'Araldo? "Virus Attack" L'esperimento? "Virus Attack" L'esperimento di riconversione (I parte)? "Virus Attack" L'esperimento di riconversione (II parte)? "Virus Attack" La 'congiura'? "Virus Attack" La nave miraggio? "Virus Attack" La Pagoda di Rajan (I parte)? "Virus Attack" La Pagoda di Rajan (II parte)? "Virus Attack" La palude? "Virus Attack" La sequoia millenaria? "Virus Attack" Le stelle del deserto? "Virus Attack" Nella tana dei VIRUS? "Virus Attack" Neos One? "Virus Attack" Rax? "Virus Attack" Relazioni pericolose!? "Virus Attack" Rivelazioni? "Virus Attack" Scherzi della natura!? "Virus Attack" Scontro finale (I parte)? "Virus Attack" Scontro finale (II parte)? "Virus Attack" Trappola per i generali? "Virus Attack" Trappole e intrighi? "Virus Attack" Trionfo e disfatta (I parte)? "Virus Attack" Trionfo e disfatta (II parte)? "Virus Attack" Trionfo e disfatta (III parte)? "Virus Attack" Trionfo e disfatta (IV parte)? "Virus Attack" Un ritorno inatteso...? "Virus Attack" Verso Vaalbara (I parte)? "Virus Attack" Verso Vaalbara (II parte)? "Virus Attack" Zobron? Virus au paradis? Virus Buster Serge? "Virus Buster Serge" Behold Change or Die II? "Virus Buster Serge" Blend the Strength? "Virus Buster Serge" Deep Down Exposure? "Virus Buster Serge" Reactivate the Body? "Virus Buster Serge" To Have and to Hold? Virus Hunters? Virus i bataljonen? Virus II? Virus in Paradise? Virus Man? Virus of the Dead? Virus Tropical? Virus Undead? Virus W4DH? Virus X - Der Atem des Todes? Virus X? Virus-08? Virus: Extreme Contamination? Virus: Ghost in the Machine? Viruset? Viruset 2: Förstärkningarna? Viruset 3: Utplåningen? Viruset 4: Återuppståndelsen? Viruset 5: Spridningarna? Viruthachalam? Viruthan Sanku? Vodooma: Virus? 'Weird Al' Yankovic: Virus Alert? "Weird Science" Lisa's Virus? "Wildest Africa" The Virungas: Land of Ice and Fire? Winter Viruses and How to Beat Them? "Wolfseinde" Virus? "Xev Bellringer" Amazon Lesbian Virus? "Yo Soy Franky" Franky y el virus de la mentira? "You Are Wanted" Virus? "You're the Worst" A Rapidly Mutating Virus? "Za, besuto hausu 123" Rescue of Girl in Well/A Mom's Distorted Love/Virus of Death? "Zan sayonara zetsubô sensei bangai-chi" General Virus and the Three Doctor Brothers/Casting God Away/A World of Words? "Zero Listillos: Leonardo Raya" Libros, Virus y Caminatas? Zombie Virus? "Zombiequerque" Got a Virus??
...no? Nothing? Not even close? Well then, I guess it's just BACK TO THE PLANET THEN!!! I MEAN, BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD THEN!!! OOOO0000oooops... sorry about shouting. Stay safe, everyone. Just a few more months and this will all be over. Then again, someone said the end of next year and it'll all be over. In any event, life will sure be a lot different now, won't it? I know I'M going to try and do some things differently!!
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