Auteur Watch - James Brown

When you're talking about James Brown, I suppose it's important to consider the next generation of James Browns.  You know, like James Brown Jr. or this James Brown Jr. or video game voice actor James Brown Jr. or this vacant palimpsest here known as James Brown Jr. just waiting to be written on by whoever writes in the Great Big Book of Life, and... does someone like James S. Brown Jr. count?  I'm going to err on the side of inclusiveness for the time being.  Well, how about this other James S. Brown Jr.?  Whelp, as it turns out... THEY'RE BOTH THE SAME PERSON!!!  Sorry, but I just still can't pass up the chance to point out the database mistakes of the good ol' IMDb.
Okay, back to work.  In case you're just joining us, we're considering future generations of James Browns.  People like James Brown II and James Brown III and this James Brown III and this other James Brown III... don't laugh!  Les Mayfield's career started out the same way.  Now, here's a question I haven't asked in a while: what do this guy, this guy, this guy and this guy all have in common?  That's right!  They all point to the SAME James Brown the Third!  I believe database wonks call this some kind of transcription error.  Usually these are typos, repetition and or deletion, it says there on the web site I'm looking at.  I don't want to have to dig through all my textbooks; I have a couple at arms' length, hope that helps!  But I should hand it to the good ol' IMDb: they more or less patched up the problem, and they probably don't have to worry about running out of hard drive space.
But when you're considering the James Browns of the world, how about someone like James C. Brown III or James E. Brown II or even James T. Brown II?  Or... oh wait, he's the last one.  Okay, so now we start to getting into the really grey areas with someone like Bjorn James Brown.  Those of you with weak stomachs might want to skip this part... hmm!  My stomach's kind of weak... I did have diverticulitis a few years ago.  Maybe this will be therapeutic for me.  Okay, let's go ahead with someone like Andrew James Brown III or someone temporarily in the Stallone business like Carole Brown-James or someone like Coach James Brown... damn.  Coach isn't a name!  It's an honorary title!  Should've done him a long time ago... easy.  Whelp, with the whole Joe Paterno thing and all, apparently organized sports has closer ties to the Catholic Church than we all thought.  Let's move on now.  I mean, we still got Daniel James Brown and Elias James Brown and Francis James Brown and Glenn James Brown, or his Bizarro-World cousin Glenn Brown James!  And we still got John James Brown and Joshua James Brown and this other Joshua James Brown and Kevin James Brown.  Oh, I loved him on that show he was in.  And leave us not lament about Lamont James Brown or Nigel James Brown or Steve James Brown or Steven James Brown or Tyler James Brown or Steven Tyler James Brown?  Oops.  Must be working too fast again.
And of course let's not leave out Tom James Brown or Rick James Brown, bitch!  Am I carbon-dating myself here or what?  Okay, back to work with people like James Anderson Brown and James Brown Henderson and sponsor James Brown Lu and magic consultant James Chantler Brown... oh, it was for "Arrested Development" so it must be "magic consultant" James Chantler Brown.  And leave us not forget someone like James Eric Brown or someone like composer James Floyd Brown III and... damn.  Should he have gone in the 2nd paragraph?  (¶?)  Oh well.  I'll leave that for some other, more organized blogger than I.  As for me, let's move on to another composer, James Francis Bacon... I mean, James Francis Brown.  Boy!  I must be hungry!  And so, from James Francis Brown we go to his less formal cousin, James Frank Brown.  Then we've got James Langtry Brown and James Lavelle Brown and James Malcolm Brown (empty, as of this writing) and ... gotta go!  Time to make tuna.
Okay, back to work with James Michael Brown, followed quickly by James Peter Brown, then James Richard Brown, then James Tyler Brown, then James Weber Brown and James Willard Brown.  Sorry if I missed anybody.
But I guess the question now is... what about someone like James Cope-Brown?  Do they count?  How about "Rastamouse" maven James Douglas-Brown?  Or how about this James Douglas-Brown or that James Douglas-Brown?  Thankfully, they're all the same person who just happens to have three entries instead of one.  Thank you for your generosity, IMDb!  Maybe I should check out this thing the Mortals call "Rastamouse"... damn you, Amazon Prime.  Is there anything you're NOT holding hostage?
Okay, back to work with James McNaughton-Brown and James Newton-Brown and James Osborn-Brown and James Seddon-Brown (1, 2) and James Vango-Brown and James Waterhouse-Brown and James Trevena-Brown (1, 2) and... oh!  He's dropped the Brown at some point!  I guess he doesn't count... on the other hand, look at that mug.  I mean, a guy like that needs at least two IMDb entries.  #NewBradPitt?
And... oh!  I think that's about it for the speculation about what makes a James Brown and what doesn't.  But we do have some James Browns left to go through... I'll wait for you all to stop groaning.  Okay, back to work.  Here's the next question: what do him, him and him all have in common?  That's RIGHT!  They're all the same guy!  Of course, when you're a guy like this particular James Brown, either because of crushing student debts or because you've developed a reputation for being difficult, you're forced to do everything yourself: writing, cinematographing, catering, digital effects and... digital effects?  For a DOCUMENTARY??!!!!  For shame, sir!  You want to make an Avengers movie, go talk to Jon Favreau.  Otherwise, stay on your side of the railroad tracks.