Sunday, June 20, 2021

Auteur Watch - James Not-So-Goodridge

 Awright!  Grind to the stoneback.  Jim Aldridge?  No?  Nah, just an actor.  But you gotta know when to walk away, especially after reaching the summit.  And... oh boy!  Time for my nearly-patented question again: what do this guy and this guy have in common?  That's RIGHT, IMDb!  TWO entries for one guy!  Thanks indeed.  Lemme do my usual check; I should have this guy's number memorized by now... nope, still the Highlander.  Well, you know... hey, you try working in Hollywood for 100 years and see if you don't develop a second or third career!  As for me, back to work.  Jim Brackenridge?  Nope, Sound Department.  Jim Brackenridge?  Nope, ex-Army... Myra Breckenridge?  Nope, but hey!  Being 50 years ahead of your time isn't easy!  Okay, so Raquel Welch is no Elayne Boosler.  Still, you will be vindicated, in the Court of Public Opinion, M.B.  Oh yes, mark my words: you will be vindicated.

...Jim Breckenridge?  Nah, just a "Self."  Jim Eldridge?  Nah, just a Word Nerd.  Must be depressing after twenty years at something like that; it's like rain on your wedding day and a few other things.  THIS Jim Eldridge?  Nah, just a Producer.  Jim Estridge?  Nah, just Camera on one thing... Holy Crap!  I got that on DVD!  Jim Guttridge?  Nah, just all the hats that the Music Department can provide.  Next thing you know, they're going to want to be called "Musical Directors" or some such thing.  Stop the madness, Taylor Hackford!  Hang on a second... To Do List today: 100 sit-ups.  Jim Hartridge?  Nah, another musician.  Hang on a second... To Do List today: take flax tablets.  Jim Holdridge?  Nah, just an Actor and an Editor... hmm!  That's a strange combination.  Almost as strange as John Ottman: composer AND editor!  Basically, he does everything, now that I look at it; probably catering too, in a pinch.  All that's left to do is start a production company called Ottman Empire, which may seem a bit too conceited, but hey.  Why waste a good pun?

...where was I?  Oh, right.  Jim Holdridge?  Nope, just a "Self" in something called "The Miller Reese Experience."  You know... I hate to go off on a tangent here, but regular readers of this thing will know that I have certain bedrock, traditional values, and one of them is that there's only one thing you call an experience.  ONLY ONE... and that's the Marc Pease... I mean, The Jimi Hendrix Experience, damn it!  If you're going to call yourself an experience, and you're not this far up to snuff, you don't get to call yourself an "experience."  Just go back and "experience" the Unemployment Office along with everyone else for a change.  Jim Ketteridge?  Nah, just Additional Crew; talk about no respect!  But always remember: you have the unions to thank for the weekend.  Jim Lockridge?  Nah, just Camera and Electrical.  But in life in general, and electric in particular, it's always good to be well grounded.  Jim McBridges?  Nah, just a '50s Actor.  Jim McCambridge?  Nah, but he can't decide between Art Director or Camera and Electrical.  My advice?  Pick one soon!  Pick one before it gets picked for you.  Jim Partridge?  Another empty cypher!  You know, if I didn't hate web programming so much, I'd figure out how to automatically detect such things in my digital travels and travails.

Jim Ridge?  Nah, just a "Self."  Jim Ridgeley?  Nah just Editor/Sound.  Jim Stembridge?  Nah, just Sound.  Jim Sturtridge?  Nah, just Assistant Camera.  Jimmi Eldridge?  Nah, just Actor.  Jimmy Etheridge?  Nah, just Actor.  Jimmy Prestridge?  Nah, just a "Self."  Jimmy Pridgen?  Nah, just a "Self."  Jim Standridge?  Nah, just a director, cinematographer, editor and... WAIT A MOMENT!!!  That's what we were looking for!  Director!  And like John Ottman before him, he kinda does everything else too: animation, sound, editing.  And he's even got a highly precedented second IMDb number, on top of everything else.  In fact, he might even go so far as to brand himself as an "experience!"  But then again, he's no Joe Rogan or Darran Bruce or Thomas John or an Atheist or a master or a porn star or Colorado or Oregon.  But as long as the subject's been broached, "Oregon" is probably not a good porn star name.  I mean, Olga Oregon?  Really?  The point is it's a struggle, and you just have to endure setback after setback until you just wish Flanders was dead.  Hey!  It's in Yahoo's Auto-Complete!  Nice.  Speaking of death threats, in the wake of Chrissy Teigen, you might want to cut back on Twitter and Facebook any and all variations on the death threat: you know, I'll be happy when I'm dancing on your grave, or using the phrase "dirt nap," etc.  Even though you might have a clever and/or hipster take on it, just try suggesting a change of opinion.  In your social media travels and travails.  Happy travails!


Read more about Jimi Hendrix and The Jimi Hendrix Experience here at Wikipedia.

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