Sunday, September 04, 2022

Undergrowth: Rise of the Lichens

Brought to you by Puck Futin. Puck Futin! Seriously, someone needs to Puck that guy. A lot. And not just his mistress. Also brought to you by That Labor Day Joke. That Labor Day Joke! I believe it was Ned Holness... I mean, Carlos Mencia, and I think Jerry Seinfeld had probably agreed at some point, but of all the ironies and the paradoxes in this life, there is perhaps no more ultimate for the stand-up comedian than the fact that there's a national holiday called Labor Day. You know, we celebrate work by not working? How does THAT work? Well, here's the thing... unlike the high salaries of stand-up comedians, the vast majority of jobs in America in particular and the world in general, REALLY SUCK. Low pay, long hours, the right-to-work economy. Where's the flying cars and high-tech gadgetry of, say, "The Jetsons"? Everything's the Second Hand Internet economy now. eBay: the whole world is an online flea market. Uber / Lyft: turn your new car into a taxi. NOT OLDER THAN FIVE YEARS, not older than five years... AirBnB: turn your house into a hotel. Etsy... well, I guess Etsy is a step in the right direction. Did the CEO make a billion dollars? Anyway, even Hollywood's taking the weekend off this Labor Day Weekend... gotta run! Dad's gotta play poker.
Okay, I'm back. Anyway, I was about to say... and Variety can back me up on this, Hollywood took the week off this week. Or the American moviegoing public? A little of both, perhaps, but there was no big movie this weekend. Apparently, even the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) needs to take a break now and again. So why not on Labor Day? The #1 movie this weekend was Spider-Man: No Way Home, which came out last December. The only other "debut" this week, raking in $2.3 million USD, 1975's biggest blockbuster Jaws. Everything old is new again. Any way to buy a point on that one? Wonder how many screens that played on. And so, if Hollywood's taking the week off, so am I, damn it, and so should you.

No comments: