Auteur Watch - Gary Hardwick

...oh, right!  I keep forgetting to write something about our latest and greatest auteur.  "Writing" I of course use in the broadest sense of the word.  But what can one say about a Hollywood auteur like Gary Hardwick?  Well, if you look at his IMDb Top 4, you might be tempted to call him a Black Hollywood auteur... nah, that's too wordy.  How about Bl-ollywood auteur?  I mean, take a film like The Brothers.  Judging from the brief plot description, it sounds like one of those films... I can't think of a good example.  I guess Bye Bye Braverman is similar: four guys who were friends, and one of them is getting married, threatening to alter their collective bro-mance forever... oops.  It's actually his funeral.  Close enough.  Okay, how about Tomcats?  Better example for some?  Here's a link to a good line from Ebert about wedding bells breaking up That Old Gang of Mine (TM)(C)(R).  I haven't seen The Brothers, but because D. L. Hughley is in it, I can't take it too seriously as a drama.  And I'm just assuming that he gets to throw in his usual line to the groom to be: "On your honeymoon... you gotta make her say my name one time."
But Hardwick did strike gold of sorts with 2003's Deliver Us from Eva.  I think they had that on Comedy Central one time even!  It's hard enough to make a movie as it is, and even harder to find a new pun on an old cliché line like "deliver us from evil."  Plus, when you get into the Gabrielle Union business, you don't want to be out of it, apparently.
And then I took a closer look at 2007's Universal Remote.  I saw the word "Murphy" at the top of the poster and I thought to myself, oh!  Eddie Murphy!  Must be an obscure pic he did in between his bombs of the time.  But no, it's his brother Charlie of "Chappelle's Show" fame.  He got out from under his more famous brother's shadow a little bit... hmm!  Here, his name's buried in the middle of the credits in the cast, yet he's the star on the DVD's cover!  Let's check the reviews... well, something called "Film Critics United" seems to damn it with just above faint praise.  Incidentally, I wasn't consulted on their findings, but whatever.  I mean, it's film critics UNITED!  That's got some heft to it, don't it?  I mean, it's not dyslexic film critics untied! 
But I guess, ultimately, critics and the public aside, when you make a film that doesn't do well like Universal Remote, you probably say to yourself that it's time to get out of this damn business of silver screen show, and think about going back to your original choice of profession: helping the homeless.  Of course, getting into a good job helping the homeless is about as easy as finding a good rent-control apartment in New York City.  Everyone's already got all the good homeless people.  You know, the camera friendly ones with a good set of dentures and what not.  Then you realize that, even though there are some prestigious jobs helping the homeless, even they can't get any funding anymore.  You know, the global stock market crash of '08 and what not.  And then the first day you're working with the homeless, and this dude leans over and coughs into your ear!  Ick.  So you go to the doctor the next day, and he announces that you have tuberculosis.  Then he compounds it by putting on a face mask for the rest of his visit.  Insult upon injury.  So you try to get back to your old industry, because basically, any employer you go to cops an attitude about your previous choice of profession.  They can be in show business too!  They've got a script!  It's a timeless tale about a manager of a paper warehouse who dreams of becoming a manager of a lumberyard.  Not necessarily a step up, managerial-wise, but it gets you closer to the outdoors that purports to be great.
So you try backpacking around Europe for a while... or, at least, that's what you start out to do, but there was this little café in France where they serve these great croissants.  Not what the Americans think of as croissants, of course.  This is the real deal here.  Real butter, lots of wine to wash it down... thankfully, the right project comes along to save you from couch potato oblivion... should that be capitalized?  And so we get The Perfect Match.  It's about a black playboy... a blayboy, if you will.  Oh, but that's me all over, isn't it?  I mean, a playboy is a playboy, right?  No matter the ethnicity.  Of course, you wouldn't have films like How to Be a Latin Lover, right?  Anyway, The Perfect Match is a return to form for Hardwick of sorts.  Instead of delivering us from Eva, this time it's deliver us to Eva.  Good switch!