Anyway, back to the instant case at hand. So, you got those soap dispensers in the mens' shower. I can't vouch for the womens' shower, but here's what happens in the men's half of things. Every once in a while you get a guy showering that didn't bring soap, and so he's HAMMERING away at the soap dispenser, because he's showering and he's got to be clean. And he's HAMMERING and HAMMERING away at the soap dispenser, about ten times every ten seconds. So, what my charity would do is go up to this guy, knock on the shower, and give him a bar of soap. A guy would hand the showering guy a bar of soap with its own little carrying case, and the guy would yell at the top of his voice "JUST BRING YOUR OWN SOAP NOW. BRING YOUR OWN GOD DAMN SOAP." I think it's going to do some good!
Boy, speaking of swearing... that Trey Gowdy's got a serious case of potty mouth these days! I believe he was in some committee harassing Rod Rosenstein... you know, the Jewish guy... telling him to end this Russia investigation. I believe he said "If you have evidence, present it to the damn Grand Jury." Sir! Then he said to finish the investigation "the hell up." If I had kids, they might have been watching that! I mean, my GOD Sir! Is this the kind of example to lead our kids with? You get elected to Congress and you start using the potty mouth? Yeah, potty mouth's no good in my kitchen, but it's perfectly all right in the People's House? So many conflicting messages for our youth people. Welp, as long as they grow up into suit-wearing, chain-smoking teenagers, am I right? Meanwhile, our douchey Russia-installed president keeps doing his usual douche-y things: repealing any and all Obama laws, acts and declarations, calling them "failed", having his two scoops of ice cream. I can see why he wants this Russia investigation to end. All of his friends are starting to go to jail! Wotta bummer for a successful businessman, for the successful businessman. But the big news this week is that he just might have a second Supreme Court pick coming up real soon. And as he teased in the news, he's got a list! And he's checking it twice! Fingers crossed for Janice Rogers Brown, personally. You know, because Obama badmouthed her. Now, the Supreme Court is responsible for at least a couple disastrous decisions recently: Gore v. Bush and Citizens United come to mind. The big one, of course, upon which our fragile standing in NATO hangs in the balance, is the big one. Roe v. Wade. For the Christian Right in this country, they're getting very excited. "Finally! After 45 or 50 years or so, we'll get the courts to overturn it." They can't wait. For everyone else, though, up to and including those who've ever needed an abortion, it spells trouble. Personally, I think we shouldn't wait for the Supreme Court to decide. Let's just have it out right now, America. Bring it on. Do your worst. Let's start with what Trump suggested, that women who've had abortions should be punished. How about women who've thought about having abortions? Why not add them to the list? Don't worry, Ted Cruz has a list of names. And it's a long one. But he's got files, and they're compatible with Microsoft SQL Server 2012, so we're good to go. And as long as America is turning into Hitler's Germany in WWII, let's have a Kristallnacht, but only for Planned Parenthood. Maybe throw in that restaurant that Huckabee Sanders was asked to leave. You know, just for good measure. Well, there was a lot of confusion that night! Someone mistook it for a Planned Parenthood!
But let's not stop there. How about we just start killing children outright? Let's say that the mother carried a baby to term, but at some point she thought about having an abortion, and told a friend about it. That's the key right there: telling a friend about it. Served, witnessed, dead child. And of course, if we find out that the father is a homosexual, but an Old School one that knows the importance of conforming in this society and went ahead and had a baby anyway... BOOM. Child's executed, preferably by firing squad. Jim McGreevey, for example. He's a Democrat, right? We'll start with the Democrats, and the children of Buono voters... and probably stop there. Any Republicans like Larry Craig, well... they just won't get to work on K Street. Punishment enough. It's time to cleanse the soul of this nation, people. Jesus is coming in 2048, and he won't be happy if there's a single abortion that year. In America. How about we fire up the House Un-American Activities Committee again? Go after Liberal Socialists?
Clearly I haven't given this enough thought as, say, Stephen Miller, for example. Still, I feel a sense of accomplishment! ...ah, I'm probably just repeating myself from earlier somewhere. Anyway, let's get on to the Top 10, which doesn't usually repeat. Except this week, where Jurassic World: Revenge of the Fallen (Spielberg) and The Incredibles 2 (Brad Bird, Spielberg protégé) are #1. The top debut this week is the sequel to Sicario which came in at #3 with chump change. Sure, 19 million's not bad... but it cost 30 million in TV ads to get that 19 million! Then there's Uncle Drew. Turns out there was actually a film to go along with the great ad campaign! I forget... was it with Pepsi? Seems like they don't do great ads anymore. The 80s and 90s? Michael Jackson! Britney Spears! That young girl who was good at lip syncing! Well, two out of three ain't bad. Now this Uncle Drew debuts at #4. You're depressing me, America.
Our last debut this week is for the international market, and it's called Sanju. Better make the hyperlink now because I won't be able to find it later. Oh, this Ranbir Kapoor is India's answer to John Turturro, no question. In other news, hugging the bottom of the Top 10 is the Fred Rogers documentary called Won't You Be My Neighbor? ...I forget why it's called that. But you gotta hand it to Fred Rogers. The #MeToo movement hasn't gotten to him yet. And they probably could, too. Seems like everyone's got some ugly thing at the back of their closet. Or maybe Fred's political affiliations aren't to the pleasing of Fox News. Guess he's not a top priority yet... oh, yeah! We also lost the Jordan Klepper show this week. Alas, too many people said to themselves "Oh, yeah! I meant to watch that. Oh well." His show was given just about the same treatment as "The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore." A few eruptions on Black Twitter perhaps, but the world moved on just the same. Anyway, Jordan Klepper's show, "The Opposition," made fun of fringe Right Wing things like Alex Jones and Tami Lohren and... God knows what else. Who's going to pay attention to them now?
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