Of course, when you're talking movies, as I sometimes do here, and you end up talking about Jerry Allen, well... you have to talk about this Jerry Allen, and probably this Jerry Allen, and maybe this Jerry Allen, even though he only did TV. Then you've got this Jerry Allen, and that Jerry Allen, and the other. Would someone named Jerry Allensworth count? Probably not, but try telling that to my computer software. Clearly it needs an upgrade... tee hee, animal tales! I get it! I see what they did.
But then you get someone like Jerry Allen Cole which, at least for me, opens up this whole other can of worms. But that's what happens when you shop at Costco: you either have to buy the giant three pound can of worms, or the shrink-wrapped twelve pack of smaller cans of worms. So you have to ask yourself, what about this person named Jerry Cole? Ooh! Love that movie. See, the arch bad guy in it is this wicked fat dude practicing karate, and who eats celebratory sandwiches every time he bests the bad guy with his coven of other bad guys. Alas, Netflix has it not, so alternative venues must be sought out. Surely my local library has it?
...no dice. Plus, apparently there's going to be a crimp in what you can or cannot check out... I forget why. Okay, back to work. How about this Jerry Cole? Nah. How about this one? Um... the 'm' in IMDb stands for movies, not mayors! Okay, so how about that one? Not a director, but I know what title I'm getting my friends this Christmas! Okay, so how about this Jerry Cole? No, but... hmm! What is the deal, IMDb? Have I complained about this new database error yet? I mean, what' s the point of having an entry for a person IF IT'S COMPLETELY EMPTY? No titles, no categories... nothing? While I'm at it, let me check Andre Hill again. Yep, still empty. Note his or her IMDb number. Apparently, they are the last person who will ever enter show business ever again, especially due to this global pandemic we're struggling to deal with... I forget what it's called right now.
Whelp, there's just one Jerry Cole left and... nope, still no directors. But "Shindig!" does sound like something worth checking out. Damn. The Cyrkle apparently were never on there. So that's another dead end, but thankfully I haven't yet run out of inquiries to make. Because, I mean... how about Jerry Coleman? I mean, Coleman is sort of a form of Cole, right? True enough, Hooli, but this one was not a director, but rather Second Baseman/Shortstop for New York Yankees (1949-1957). Off the list he comes. So how about this Jerry Coleman? No, not a director, despite the "special thanks." How about that one? Nope. A lot. How about this one? Nope. Devilry? I thought it was "deviltry!" ...okay, just checked the unabridged dictionary. "Devilry" is legal, but its definition just says "deviltry" in it, so I can feel smug about that.
Which brings us to the end of the Jerry Colemans. But... what about Jerry Coleby-Williams? What is he, chopped liver? Oh... in this case, yes, because he's not a director. Well then, how about Jerry Coletta? Nope, not a director. Just a "self." Kinda like how some girls on facebook call themselves "public figures" just because there are pictures of them in a bikini online. But at least Marc Maron is aware of his place in the celebrity landscape... the "celeb-scape," if you will. Just saw his new comedy special last night. Couldn't remember the title... it's called "End Times Fun." And no, it's not about multiplication. Shouldn't it be "End-Times Fun"? Anyway, how about Jerry Coletti? Nope; another bust.
Whelp, that's about it for the vowels: no Colette, Coletto or Colettu to speak of, so it's time to move on to the Jerry Davises of the world. Because when you're talking about Jerry Davis, one would be remiss if they failed to mention this Jerry Davis, or that Jerry Davis, or this one, or that one, or this one or that one or this one or that one or this one or that one or this one or that one or this one or that one or that one or... um, actually, skip that last one. I know, I know... he's from the Golden Age of that genre, but not here. Figures he'd get two IMDb numbers. Now, THIS ONE is special. Somebody get this guy a ghost writer, because I know he's got a lot of great stories about the Golden Age of Television that haven't been told to death yet. However, we haven't run across very many directors of this name! A few in the Art Department, but not the Directorial Department! There can be only one, it seems. I'm going to risk it, and not post a hyperlink to Highlander on that one; see what happens.
So I suppose the question remains: well, how about Jerry Davis Jr.? Will the sins of the father skip a generation or not? Depends on the sins, I admit, but again, Art Department. Well, we can skip Sr., because again! An empty placeholder! Along with this guy and that guy! But due to poor web page management, they are currently forever associated with titles like The Social Network, Lion, WarGames, The Ring (2002), and Seven Years in Tibet. You know, Free Movies You Can Watch on IMDb Right Now. The IMDb is also producing an animated show that looks like "Bob's Burgers." Boy! If you're not a movie producer these days, you are clearly not a success! Won't be long before Uber Productions, PGA (C) (TM) (R) starts competing with Lyft (TM) (R) (C) Films, and has complementary iPhones in each vehicle for passengers to watch the latest releases. It's the next logical step, of course.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment