Hmmm... I wasn't dreading doing this one at all, was I? I mean, when you're talking about John Barry... you should probably start with this John Barry. Probably not where it all began, but close. Alas, he's since passed on, but you gotta feel some empathy for the guy. He started off in movies like most of us, running the projector in his father's cinemas. But he eventually grew tired of that and thought, hey! I like music. Why don't I do the music in one of these here movie films I keep showing? That's a man's life! And he eventually worked his way up to the manliest films of all: the James Bond movies. I don't study such things, so I don't know how manly Diamonds are Forever is, but Jimmy Dean of Jimmy Dean sausage fame is in it, so they got the Southern demographic sewed up. And yes, I forgot to say that it doesn't get more manly than that.
Oh, but he's not a director anyway, so screw him! How about this John Barry? Nope, a mere actor, and not terribly prolific at that. What about this John Barry? Nope, Camera and Electrical. This John Barry? Nope, actor in late '90s softcore erotica, so screw him with a safety sock on. How about this John Barry? Not an auteur, but thanks for trying! See how I did that? How about this John Barry? Oops, that's John Kerry... he was on "Cheers"? Niiiiice. Wonder if it was the big finalé.
Okay, back to work. What about this John Barry? Nope, just an actor, probably dead. This John Barry? Nope, Art Department, probably alive. THIS John Barry? Nope, another actor. Boy! I guess if you're named John Barry, you don't have to work that much! How about this John Barry? Nope, actor. But FINALLY! A John Barry who's not afraid to make a little money! How about this John Barry? Nope, an empty cypher, a clean slate waiting for the right chisel to come along. Hope he's not too much of a sucker! But how about this John Barry? Nope, just a Special Effects technicial on a movie with The Stranger! Pardon me while I get distracted by this for a while. There's someone in "Yellowstone" who looks like him. A LOT. Okay, back to work. What about this John Barry? Nope, Sound man. That John Barry? Nope, Actor. The other John Barry? Nope, Camera and Electrical, and Additional Crew... for some reason, this seems like an unlucky combination to me. This next John Barry? Nope, sound. Nothing like the swinging '60s, huh? But what about this John Barry? Nope, just Thanks... hmm! Something tells me this might be one of the other John Barrys. Guess I need IMDb Pro for that. I'll subscribe one day, I promise. How about THIS John Barry? Nope, not a director, but a Self. Sometimes it's even better! Not in his case, but sometimes! THIS John Barry? Nope, a mere actor. That John Barry? Nope, another mere actor. The other John Barry? Nope, another mere Additional Crew. They always do the most work on a show. Long hours, low pay... don't get me started.
I'm probably overdue for a paragraph break. Okay, back to it. This John Barry? Nope, just a Self. This John Barry? Nope, Visual Effects. Money Kills. Why, they ought to outlaw it. This John Barry? Nope, just a Dancer... sorry, Actor. And so the great rift between Actors and Dancers continues unabated. This John Barry? Nope, Sound. Boy! If you're named John Barry, and you're in Sound, you don't stay in it for long! And more Thanks, this one's a repeat, stunts, composer, writer, pimp, honoree, location manager, the same honoree, producer, club owner, producer, paranormal investigator, Additional Crew, Self, another producer, Sweet BIlly [sic], another Self, and another author. Let me just take a break here... hmm! So, this last John Barry wrote a book called "The Heat Influenza." Now, I can't find it on Amazon. He appears on this show about pandemics. Is it just possible they meant THE GREAT INFLUENZA??!!!!!!!
Time for another paragraph break, because I just have to ask... how about John Barry and His Orchestra? Oh, I guess they just did music; they didn't actually direct. The John Barry Seven? ANOTHER group! And it brings us full circle in a way, because apparently this John Barry was involved in the John Barry Seven... hmm! John Barry and His Orchestra did the James Bond theme... it's all related. Oh, this John Barry's an expert at being in multiple places at the same time, like that one character in X-Men 3. I mean, two completely different John Barrys worked on the same show: 2007's Deadwood Park. Now let me check on John Hyland again... yup, still two careers! And yet, we haven't found an auteur named John Barry. But I promise in the next installment, I'll try to find one.
John Barry's official website - good luck with your Exxon suit!
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