Auteur Watch - Eric St. John

And now, it's time once again for my nearly-patented question: what do this guy, this guy, this guy, this guy, this guy, this guy and this guy all have in common? That's RIGHT!  All these seven links point to our next auteur this week: Eric St. John.  And even though one of the first rules of martial arts is that you don't attack anyone who's not attacking you, I better be careful lest this guy deploy some powerful Word Fu courtesy of one of these douche-y new sites that purports to help you with your grammar.  Ooh!  There was a plagiarism web site that was checking me out once!  Wonder what their ultimate verdict was... 

Anyway, martial arts of various stripes is but one of the man's hobbies.  They don't list them yet on the IMDb, but they do have five other categories besides director.  The man's a sextuple-threat!  No children yet, but whatever!  Time for that later.  He's only got the two films for now: 2010's Afterlife, and 2010's For Hire.  I guess he somehow resisted the urge to join the Tea Party.  Normally you don't say no to Bruce Willis, but it was a much different time!  That time before 5G and Smartphones.  But the future's always brighter, right?  We're always one pocket away from the internet, and American democracy is a few years from extinction!  What could be better?  Maybe we won't have to pay taxes then!  Hard to say what China and Russia have in store for us.  Of course, China tends to keep the good jobs for themselves when they invade... I mean, peacefully help out a country with improving their infrastructure.

Am I getting slightly off topic again?  Thought so.  Sorry about that.  Okay, let's look at this guy's IMDb Top 4.  As of this writing, his top four are as follows: 2015's Ride the Thunder, 2016's Isle of the Dead, 2014's Bullet and 2012's Troubled Child... hmm!  The poster seems to say "The Boarder."  Oh, Hollywood.  Never able to settle on one title... oh, fine.  I'll do all the links.  

Okay, so neither of his directorial efforts made that high grade, but that's okay!  Usually it means you're over as an actor and you have to step behind the camera permanently, usually because of gray hairs or some such.  The main thing is to... what's that quote about going from disappointment to disappointment with great enthusiasm?  Also, you always have to bear in mind that Hollywood is a very social place.  I dunno... there's just something about film that's way more inclusive than, say, book publishing.  There's no IBDb after all, right?  Just Barnes & Noble or Amazon, you know... nothing terribly official.  People love swing gangs and focus pullers more than book binders, right?  Even the artisan book binders get no love anymore!  Especially in our Smartphone age.  "Um... working with dead trees.  Pretty creepy!"  Never mind that Hollywood carpenters do the same thing.  But ultimately I think this Eric St. John's going to be okay in Hollywood for now.  May you never have to resort to a Sharon Stone-esque tell all book.