Auteur Watch - Carl Gilliard

Oops!  I got so excited that I forgot to do this!  Anyway, for those of you depressed about getting older... what?  NO, I'm not obliquely referring to myself (wipes away tear, sniff...)... for those of you depressed about getting older, take comfort or outrage from the example of Carl Gilliard.  I mean, look at this guy's IMDb Top 4.  LOOK UPON IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  What do you notice about it?  Notice anything?  Well, what I notice is that the earliest thing on there is from 2005, as of this writing.  I mean, this guy's been busting his ass since 1990 in the acting mines!  What are those 15 years, then?  Chopped liver supplements?
I mean... oh, screw this guy.  He was on "The Bold and the Beautiful."  Oh, I just hate people like that.  Seriously, though, I need to go back to Super Supplements and buy some of those beef liver tablets they had there.  I'm obsessed with them now.  Wonder if they come with onion tablets for balance?  Anyway, as Letterman would probably quip, so you got this big-time Hollywood actor who's been in millions of motion pictures.  And Paul Shaffer would interrupt, saying "Really?  Millions?  Ah HAH HAH!!!!"  So, surely, with all that acting under one's belt, having dealt with scores of egotistical directors of one stripe or another... surely the thought of promotion to a higher calling has crossed one's mind?  Perhaps the mind of Carl Gilliard?  If you guessed "yes," you'd be right!  Sorry, I ain't got no funding for a proper contest or anything.  No $500 gift certificates, no trips to Bermuda.  This is why I'm not getting anywhere in life.
And so we get Gilliard's solo directorial effort... for now... and it's called Section 8... oops, that link is to the production company.  No, the film is called Section 8... sorry, that link goes to the IMDb Quotes page for Full Metal Jacket.  Third time's the charm!... There we go!  Carl Gilliard's Section 8 from 2006.  And... I dunno.  Something tells me this wasn't a fun, fruitful directorial experience for Carl Gilliard.  My first clue?  Just read the plot description of Carl Gilliard's Section 8... READ UPON IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...didja catch it?  No shout-out to Carl Gilliard's directing.  Just a bunch of claptrap about the award-winning producers and about the play the film is based on.  And they refer to the playwright as Anthony Lovell Winters.  But look at the IMDb page of the film!  LOOK UPON IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  ..sorry, I've got a bit of a headache right now.  Anyway, the IMDb refers to this guy as Tony Clifton... I mean, Tony Winters.  I guess us common folk must address him as "Anthony."  Hmm!  Another veteran of TV and the occasional soap opera.  One a writer, one a director!  I guess these people have to stick together or something.