Gold and Silver Shine

So few debuts this week, so much time... or is it the opposite?  Alas, a crop of upstarts have knocked It out of place.  But not to worry!  The sequel is just around the corner.  Thank God for the new digital age of Hollywood.  So much time wasted developing old-fashioned film stock back then.  Not to mention all the caustic chemicals involved!  Of course, if they were really good, and had more confidence in the product, they would've done like Peter Jackson and made both at the same time.  But if the sequel takes place 27 years later, why do they have the same young dude playing Pennywise the evil clown?  You're supposed to get the father to play the role instead!
But what do I know, I'm just a critic.  Speaking of sequels in the works, they're already working on a third Kingsmen movie!  For some reason, I thought Kick-Ass would get to a third installment, but the Kingsmen series is clearly much more audience friendly and shovel-ready... sequel-ready.  Well, it's more in the vein of James Bond.  The second one debuted at #1 this week, and it's called Kingsman: The Golden Circle.  That's funny, because I seem to remember the first one ending with a brown circle!
Um... moving on, debuting at #3 this week is The Lego(TM) Ninjago(TM) Movie.  Well, Olivia Munn did what she could to flog it on The Daily Show, but to no avail.  After all, she plays a mom in it!  Ewwww... And to add insult to injury, look at how far down the cast she is!  Seventeenth out of... God knows how many.  I don't want to be too critical, however, because she is a 2nd degree Black Belt in... one of those marital martial arts.  What is it about Hollywood that makes people need to learn one or another flavour of karate?  What, are all conference rooms going to have those floor mats now for practicing somersaults?  Anyway, some were surprised that a movie about Ninjago Lego's didn't debut at #1 with over 100 million dollars, American domestic.  Maybe it's doing better overseas.  Believe me, I've got a lot of Legos, but I have yet to bring myself to get interested in Ninjago's.  Maybe I'm just racist.  But I do like the plot: a teenager rebelling against his warlord dad.  Alas, Dad is not one of the good warlords.  He's an evil warlord.  Incidentally, how come Scott Evil never starred in his own movie?
At #7, it's a low-budget horror movie called Friend Request.  I'm just assuming it's horror; sounds like it's about (The) Facebook.  Incidentally, I've seen a couple alerts issued by my fellow Facebook friends.  One of them was actually for one "James Wood."  They said, "Do not accept a friend request from James Wood.  He is a hacker who will hack your account."  Oh, it's a constant arms race against the hackers, I tell you.  This isn't like the time someone guessed Kelly LeBrock's password, either.  Mere child's play, that was.  (hint: it was "IH8StevenSeagal")  So far, I've been lucky, as the hackers were only interested in my Zynga Poker chips.  Also, it's been a while since I've heard from Facebook Security, or one of its counterparts like £@¢Eß0øk $£¢µ(¡±¥.  I kinda miss those.
Our final debut this week is Stronger about Jeff Bauman, a victim of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombing who lost both his legs.  It debuted at #9, so I'm thinking that no one wants to be depressed right now.  It's also sort of a love story, people!  Tatiana Maslany was just on Colbert promoting her part in the movie.