Meet The Feebles

Okay, that one was almost 30 years ago, so maybe it's time for a re-imagining.  Yes, because not everyone has access to "Crank Yankers," so The Happytime Murders was bourne.  There was a brief controversy about the movie a few weeks or months before its release date... it's probably archived on or by Yahoo! someplace.  Well, surely Brian Henson, son of Muppet maven Jim, is voicing his concerns as well, and certainly not getting involved with such a horrible project, right?  RIGHT?... oh, he directed it?  Ahem... (clearing throat)  Well, there you have it!  If it's good enough for him and Melissa McCarthy, well... it's darned well good enough for me.  Unfortunately for the American moviegoing public, it was only good enough for third place and just under $10 million domestic.  The studio will have to look to the good third-world countries where the moviegoing public there is forced out of the house and to the cinema at gunpoint.  Better ROI over there.  No, here in the good old USA, we'll stick with Crazy Rich Asians and The Meg, thank you very much.  If they do a sixth season of "Silicon Valley," it'll be the most expensive ever, gathering up enough grain to cover those increasingly expensive actors' salaries.
The only other debut this week is a reboot of the 1980s classic D.A.R.Y.L. ...that's the first thing that came to mind for me, anyway, being a person of a certain age.  ...Mary Beth Hurt and Mary Kay Place, I'm always confusing those two.  Which one's the makeup?  Anyway the movie's called AVP: Alien v. Preda... I'm sorry, it's actually a biopic about Axl Rose and it's called A-X-L for some reason.  Once again, I'll be the first to say it... should this not win one of those douchey new Oscars (TM) (R) (C) for "popular movies"?  Maybe screenwriting or special FX?  One of these new-fangled corporate people's going to have to pony up the money to take out a full-page "For Your Consideration" ad in Variety, listing all the possible categories the Oscar (TM) (R) (C) voting bloc could consider.  Best Catering, Best Nose Job, Most Effective Hollywood Diet Plan, what have you............