Dealing With Difficult People

Brought to you by Torrid.  Torrid!  Because fat chicks want to be slutty too.  Whelp, let's get right into it.  Taking advantage of the slow new year once again, which worked in 2016 for Split, the M. Night Shyamalan Night Train Back to Glory roars, nay, RAGES on as Glass hits #1 for the second week in a row.  All well and good, but if I were Bruce Willis, I wouldn't take more points on my next project just yet.  Meanwhile, James McAvoy hosted Saturday Night Live last night... didn't mention the movie in his monologue!  Took the time instead to promote Scotland, his place of birth.  Now that's confidence... has he hosted before?  Hey, I just thought of a terrific idea for a monologue joke, if someone else would care to do the statistics for it.  How about the One Timers Club?  Has McAvoy hosted before?  Anyway, the next host that's done it only for their first time, you get invited to the One Timers Club.  Why look!  They're all here!  George Clooney, John Turturro... who else?  Jon Lovitz could be the butler, and make a joke about having to kick Jim Belushi and Kevin Farley out all the time... that's yours for free, you Ivy Leaguers.
As for the debuts... there's a new one called The Man Kid Who Would Be King.  It's written and directed by Joe Wright's friend named... gotta look it up again... Joe Cornish.  Well, he's a sweetheart.  Someone the film nerds can really get behind.  Of course, the film nerds are all growed up now with a family, raising little film nerds of their own.  They took their kids to this nice PG-rated fare and pointed out all the little in jokes and shots with some of the crew accidentally in the frame... sorry, "accidentally" in the frame.  Well, pixel washing's expensive, dude!  And in this era of Kingsmen and Deadpool, sometimes you want that PG-rated family fare, what can I tell ya.
Ooh!  Looks like Green Book is enjoying a post-Oscar (TM) (C) (R) resurgence, hooray.  No producing credit for Effie Brown?  Duly noted.  Boo.  The only other debut to speak of this week is called Serenity... and no, it's not a 4k 1080p restoration of that ... that... what's his name?  My memory for names is clearly off this day.  Joss Whedon, that's it.  No, it's not a re-release of the 2005 classic of the same name, beautifully, tastefully restored in Real 3D, Dolby 5.1, 4p, 1080K what have you... rather, it's a modern re-envisioning of Cape Fear by way of A Perfect Getaway, starring Matthew McConaughey and still-out-of-rehab Anne Hathaway.  I guess Jennifer Garner was busy or something.  And speaking of Matthew McConaughey... did I see that right?  One of his car commercials where he plays the introspective wallflower at the Vanity Fair Post-Oscar (C) (R) (TM) party?  Say it isn't so, Matt McC!  You're not the wallflower!  You're the alpha male of Ghosts of Girlfriends Past!  Of Dazed and Confused and... probably others.  Same thing happened to Tim Allen in Christmas With the Kranks.  Of course, maybe he was just trying to get out of the movie while he was still in it.  That happens quite a lot.  Take Richard Pryor and Jo Jo Dancer, Your Life is Calling.  Dude tried to burn himself out of it!  ...something like that.  Guess I better quit while I'm ahead.