Monday, November 11, 2019

Fly Away Boys

Brought to you by whistleblowers.  Whistleblowers!  I dunno... if they wanted to stay anonymous, then why are they blowing a whistle?  Just sayin'.  Also brought to you by Republicans.  Republicans!  Proudly providing the need for whistleblowers since 1974.  Whelp, 'tis another two days off for me, which means time to slack off some more.  But I'm back!  Duty calls, and we've got four debuts.  No really unifying story at the multiplex this weekend.  The next installment of Star Wars is still a ways off, I guess.  Star trek as well, probably.  Nevertheless, Mr. German Box Office Roland Emmerich is back and better than ever.  Not Independence Day back, mind you, but back nevertheless.  That was probably his biggest hit, even though they have yet to recoup its advertising budget.  This one is a crackling re-enactment of Doolittle's Raiders, I believe they're called, which critics are already calling "too plastic" and "like playing a video game."  The script is by someone whose name makes you think, hmm!  What's that an anagram of?  Well, so far the odds-on favourites are "toe wokes" and "ewes took" and "skeet woo"... EASY!  Easy.  Speaking of which, an actor fella named Ed Skrein plays a character named Dick Best and... EASY!!!  Easy.  Keep your filthy jokes to yourself there, this is history we're talking about, damn it!  There's also a character with the nickname 'Tex.'  And once again, one can't help but thinking to one's self, hmm!  What OTHER films or TV shows feature a character with the nickname 'Tex'?  Well, there's one here and there and there and here and here and here and there and there and here and there and there and here and here and there and here and there and here and there and there and there and there and here and there and here and here and here and there and here and there and there and there and here and there and here and here and here and there and here and there and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and there and here and here and here and there and here and here and here and here and there and here and here and there and here and here and there and there and there and here and there and there and there and here and there and here and there and here and there and there and there and there and there and here and here and there and there and there and there and here and here and here and there and there and here and there and there and here and here and there and there and here and there and there and here and there and here and there and there and here and here and here and here and there and here and here and here and here and here and there and here and here and there and here and here and there and here and here and there and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and there and there and there and there and here and here and here and here and there and there and here and here and here and there and here and there and here and here and here and here and there and there and here and there and here and here and here and there and there and there and here and here and here and there and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and there and there and there and there and here and there and here and there and there and there and there and here and there and there and there and there and here and there and there and here and there and there and here and here and there and there and here and here and there and there and here and here and here and here and here and there and here and here and here and there and here and there and here and here and there and there and here and here and there and there and here and there and here and there and here and here and there and there and there and there and there and here and there and here and there and here and here and there and here and there and there and here and there and here and here and there and here and there and there and here and here and there and there and here and here and there and here and here and there and here and there and there and there and here and here and here and there and here and here and there and there and there and there and here and here and here and there and there and here and there and here and here and there and there and here and here and here and here and there and here and here and there and there and here and there and here and there and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and there and there and there and here and here and there and there and there and there and here and here and there and here and here and here and here and here and there and here and there and here and here and there and there and there and here and there and there and there and there and there and here and here and ... oh, but I could go on and on.  Look at me, brother!  I'm turning into a gray-haired old man with stink breath who just keeps repeating the same stories over and over again!  Speaking of which, Stephen King's latest hasn't ignited the box office the way his little two-part evil clown saga did, or that other one that came out recently... holy Crap!  Lost in the proverbial shuffle.  I guess it was the reboot of Pet Sematary that I was thinking of.  Great date movie, BTW!  He must be doing well, because he's got twenty bombs for every megahit.  But this new one is finally out, a sequel to Stanley Kubrick's 1980 classic The Shining (now available on Ultra 4K Blu-Ray.  It'll work on your player, really!) and... well, coming in at number two, one can't help but think something's wrong.  Didn't the ad campaign work?  Were people confused?  Did it look too much like Kubrick's version?  It's got a different title!  Something about sleep, something about hospitals... I know, I know, but I'm going to figure this out the fun way, damn it.  I mean, could it have been ¡Una carrerita, Doctor!?  Um, probably not.  Well, how about 20 Nothing...: The Dirty Doctor?  No?  Well, maybe 5 Doctors perhaps?  5 Doctors One Studio possibly?  A Country's Worst Doctor maybe?  A Devilish DoctorA Doctor and a Security Guard in LoveA Doctor for an HourA Doctor of My Own: The First Medical Students of NamibiaA Doctor, A GeneralA Doctor's DiaryA Doctor's ImageA Doctor's StoryA Doctored AffairA Frontier DoctorA Groom, Three Brides and a DoctorA Young Doctor's Notebook & Other StoriesAdventures in Africa No. 7: The Witch Doctor's MagicAlan Doctor: A Military LifeAlias the DoctorAll American Doctor WhoAll Doctors Great and SmallAmazing Unmasked vs. El Doctor Calavera MalignaAna al-doctorAngelita la doctoraAnimal DoctorApuntes para una tesis doctoralAru sex doctor no kirokuÄrztin in Not: The Kidnapped DoctorAs Prescribed by a DoctorAsad Ray & Nikki Paige feat. 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...no?  Not even close?  Well, BACK TO THE TREES THEN!  I mean, BACK TO THE DARWIN... DRAWING BOARD THEN!!!!!!!!!  Oooooops, sorry about shouting.  Meanwhile, the third debut is a delightful comedy, and a PG one, no less!  No wonder it's in third place.  This isn't the '80s, and it isn't a Spielberg film.  But it's John Cena still reveling in his cinematic Second Act, so to speak.  2006's The Marine was his First Act, of course.  Everyone knows that.  But he's still behind The Rock in terms of actors whose training began with the WWE.  Or the American RADA, what have you.  It's also Keegan Michael-Key's latest chance to show the world that he doesn't need Jordan to make it on his own... something like that.  Oops!  Got the hyphen wrong.  Keegan-Michael Key.  Well, baby steps.  Vin Diesel also tried this career move in 2005 with The Pacifier if memory serves.  But what's the name of this latest opus honoring our nation's firefighters, currently struggling down in California trying to prevent the next landscape to look like a nuclear bomb's been dropped on it?  I mean, was it called A Playing Story?  No?  Well, what about A Weekend in the Life of Alice Loris: Playing for Hudson FinnAir: Eating, Sleeping, Waiting and Playing perhaps?  Albert Spaulding, Playing 'Alabama' by Spaulding and Valse in G Flat by Chopin maybe?  Albert Spaulding, Playing 'Ave Maria' by Schubert and 'Waltz in A' by BrahmsAlbert Spaulding, Playing 'Liebesleid' by Kreisler and 'Cavatina' by RaffAlbert Spaulding, Playing 'Minuet in D' by Mozart and 'Liebesfreud' by KreislerAlbert Spaulding, Playing 'To a Wild Rose' and 'Rondo Capriccioso'Albert Spaulding, Playing Schumann's 'Traumerei' and Sarasate's 'Romanza Andaluza'And the Violins Stopped PlayingAre We Still Playing?Backstreet Boys: Quit Playing Games (with My Heart)Ball Playing PeopleBizarre Inc: Playing with KnivesBlackpink: Playing with FireCat on a Hot Tin Roof: Playing Cat and MouseCorpus Christi: Playing with RedemptionDaughters of Darkness: Playing the VictimDavid Garrett Playing for My LifeDawgs Playing PokerDead Presidents Playing PokerDucks Playing Duck HuntDungeons and Dragons: The Incredibly Unsexy Role Playing GameEfrem Zimbalist & Harold Bauer Playing Theme and Variations from 'The Kreutzer Sonata' by BeethovenEurythmics: There Must Be an Angel (Playing with My Heart)Eye of the Empress: Playing PoolFallout 2: A Post-Nuclear Role-Playing GameFallout: A Post-Nuclear Role-Playing GameFfilm: Wulffers Playing Chess with BecketFour Dogs Playing PokerGambler V: Playing for KeepsGiochi di ruolo: Role playing gamesGirls Playing Leap FrogGrace Plains: Roleplaying with Google GlassHi-Five: She's Playing Hard to GetHome Alone: A Kid's Guide to Playing It Safe When on Your OwnHope Hampton Displaying Creations Parisienne in ColourHope Hampton Displaying Paris Originations in ColorHow To Be Successful Playing The Sax!Hustle Season 3: It's Just Like PlayingI'm Not Playing Games HereJohn Virgo: Playing for LaughsJust PlayingJust Playing with JasonKenny Loggins: Playing with the BoysLevel Playing FieldLiv Ullmann: Playing KristinaLook at Life: Playing TrainsMaking of 'Playing the Moldovans at Tennis'Maroon 5: Daylight, Playing for Change VersionMarvin Hamlisch: They're Playing My SongMaxim Vengerov: Playing by Heart/MasterclassMcKellen: Playing the PartMerely PlayingMoneyball: Playing the GameMulti PlayingNot Playing the GameNow PlayingNow PlayingNow PlayingNow Playing with Gary CollinsNow_Playing.movOdds PlayingPaul Soldner: Playing with FirePete Rose Playing to WinPlaying 'The Deer Hunter': An Interview with John SavagePlayingPlaying a 'Psycho'Playing a PartPlaying a Part: The Story of Claude CahunPlaying a PianistPlaying AnnettePlaying AroundPlaying Around with Thomas & FriendsPlaying as DollsPlaying AwayPlaying Away from HomePlaying BallPlaying Baseball with GeorgePlaying Beatie BowPlaying BurtonPlaying by EarPlaying by HeartPlaying by the RulesPlaying CardsPlaying CardsPlaying CardsPlaying CatchPlaying CheckersPlaying ChessPlaying Chess: The Making of Cadillac RecordsPlaying ChickenPlaying ChickenPlaying Chicken: The MoviePlaying ClandestinePlaying CleanPlaying ColumbinePlaying CupidPlaying CupidPlaying DangerousPlaying Dangerous 2Playing DeadPlaying DeadPlaying DeadPlaying DeadPlaying DeadPlaying DeadPlaying DeadPlaying DeadPlaying DeadPlaying Dead: 'Resident Evil' from Game to ScreenPlaying Dead: Behind the Scenes of Walking Dead the GamePlaying DirtyPlaying DoublePlaying Evil: David WarnerPlaying FairPlaying FalsePlaying FieldPlaying Fields Association: CricketPlaying Fields Association: FootballPlaying for a FortunePlaying for ChangePlaying for Change: Alibi ReedPlaying for CharliePlaying for FunPlaying for High StakesPlaying for KeeepsPlaying for KeepsPlaying for KeepsPlaying for KeepsPlaying for KeepsPlaying for KeepsPlaying for KeepsiesPlaying for Parkinson's: New York PostPlaying for PeanutsPlaying for RealPlaying for the Other TeamPlaying for TimePlaying GamesPlaying Games 2Playing GhostPlaying GodPlaying GodPlaying GodPlaying GodPlaying God: Human CloningPlaying Grown UpPlaying HardPlaying Hard to GetPlaying HookyPlaying Hooky - getting old is not for sissiesPlaying HookyPlaying HorsePlaying HousePlaying HousePlaying HousePlaying HousePlaying HousePlaying HousePlaying HousePlaying HousePlaying HousePlaying HousePlaying in DarknessPlaying in the Green CathedralPlaying in the Pool with RebeccaPlaying in the RoadPlaying in the StreetPlaying in Tough LuckPlaying in TrafficPlaying It by the EarPlaying It CoolPlaying It DirtyPlaying It ForwardPlaying It Forward: John LegendPlaying It RawPlaying It SafePlaying It SafePlaying It StraightPlaying It StraightPlaying It StraightPlaying It StraightPlaying It StraightPlaying It WildPlaying LecuonaPlaying MarblesPlaying Mona LisaPlaying Monogamy 1Playing Monogamy 2Playing Monogamy 3Playing Monogamy 4Playing Monogamy 5Playing Monogamy 6Playing Monogamy 7Playing Monogamy 8Playing Monogamy 9Playing MurderPlaying New YorkPlaying NightlyPlaying NobokovPlaying NursePlaying on Different FieldsPlaying on the RainbowPlaying on the TracksPlaying OurselvesPlaying PappyPlaying PatiencePlaying PattiPlaying PossumPlaying PossumPlaying PretendPlaying PriyaPlaying PsychoPlaying RealityPlaying Rough and Other TalesPlaying SafePlaying SafePlaying ShakespearePlaying SoldierPlaying SolitairePlaying Straight: Reality BitesPlaying Tarzan and JanePlaying the BossPlaying the BossPlaying the DeucePlaying the DukePlaying the Environment GamePlaying The FieldPlaying the FieldPlaying the FieldPlaying the Field: Sports and Sex in AmericaPlaying the FoolPlaying the GamePlaying the GamePlaying the GamePlaying the GamePlaying the GamePlaying the GamePlaying the GamePlaying the GamePlaying the Game: Looking Back at 'Death Race 2000' - Death Race 2000 Special Edition DVDPlaying the MachinesPlaying the Moldovans at TennisPlaying the OddsPlaying the PartPlaying the PartPlaying the Part: The Cast of 'The Equalizer'Playing the PendulumPlaying the Pied PiperPlaying the PipersPlaying the PoniesPlaying the RolePlaying the RollsPlaying the Same GamePlaying the Straight ManPlaying the SwellPlaying the TaarPlaying the TapePlaying ThroughPlaying ThroughPlaying ThroughPlaying Through with John WeisbarthPlaying to LearnPlaying to Vapors - Ghost HunterPlaying to Win: A Moment of Truth MoviePlaying TogetherPlaying TogetherPlaying TracyPlaying TricksPlaying TrumpsPlaying UndergroundPlaying VictimPlaying Vietnam in AmericaPlaying WarPlaying WarholPlaying with BallsPlaying with BeethovenPlaying with BlocksPlaying with DangerPlaying with Dead ThingsPlaying with DeathPlaying with DeathPlaying with DeathPlaying with DeathPlaying with DollsPlaying with DollsPlaying with DollsPlaying with DollsPlaying with Dolls: BloodlustPlaying with Dolls: HavocPlaying with Dolls: The Making of Curse of ChuckyPlaying with FirePlaying with FirePlaying with FirePlaying with FirePlaying with FirePlaying with FirePlaying with FirePlaying with FirePlaying with FirePlaying with FirePlaying with FirePlaying with FirePlaying with FirePlaying with FirePlaying with FirePlaying with FirePlaying with FirePlaying with FirePlaying with FirePlaying with FirePlaying with FirePlaying with FirePlaying with FirePlaying with FirePlaying with FirePlaying with Fire: An Interview with Dan GrimaldiPlaying with FIRE: The DocumentaryPlaying with Fire: The Making of 'Firestarter'Playing with Fire: The SeriesPlaying with GunsPlaying with GunsPlaying with IcePlaying with MatchesPlaying with MatchesPlaying with Mr. GreeleyPlaying With MyselfPlaying with PiranhasPlaying with RagePlaying with SoftballsPlaying with SoulsPlaying with the BoysPlaying with the DevilPlaying with the PlumberPlaying with ToysPlaying with Your Nerves: The Making of 'Slashers'Playing Your Part 1 Diversity in the WorkplacePunky Pets: Playing Party PoliticsQuit playing coolReal Playing GameReplaying: The GameReturn to Role PlayingRob Beckett's Playing for TimeRole Playing with RebeccaRole Playing?RoleplayingRPG: Role Playing GaymesRube Waddell and the Champions Playing Ball with the Boston TeamRyûichi Sakamoto: Playing the Orchestra 2013Saving Throw Presents True Stories from RPG-Playing GirlsShe's Playing YouSir Thomas Lipton Playing Deck QuoitsTaft Playing GolfThank You for PlayingThank You For Playing: Kultowe magazyny o grachThanks for PlayingThe Bronx Boys Still Playing at 80The Curious Complications of Role PlayingThe Imp, the Spirit, the Hero: Playing David Helfgott in Shine With Geoffrey RushThe Importance of Playing YardballThe Incident: Playing the HeroThe Lady in the Van: Playing the Lady - Maggie Smith as Miss ShepherdThe Legend of Zorro: Playing with TrainsThe Legendary Fillmore Slim Playing the BluesThe Living Playing CardsThe Note: Playing Peyton with Genie FrancisThe Piranhas: Playing Some Stuff LiveThe Playing FieldThe Playing GroundThe Public Space: Breaking! Who's Playing with Sargon?Theo Fleury: Playing with FireThese Bitches are Playing You: The Truth About Women Who 'Delay' Reporting RapeThey're Playing with FireTorchy Blane.. Playing with DynamiteTwo Playing GirlsVideo Games Aren't Just for PlayingWatch: Ryuichi Sakamoto Playing the Piano 2009 JapanWet Wet Wet Playing Away at Home: Live at Celtic Park GlasgowWhen the Music Stops PlayingWin Big Playing PokerZ Cars: Playing ConnorZ Cars: Playing QuilleyZ Cars: Playing ScatliffZ Cars: Playing Skinner

...no?  Nothing?  Not even close?  Well, then I guess it's BACK TO THE BEGINNING THEN!!!  I mean, BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD THEN!!!  Ooooooooops......... sorry about shouting.  Meanwhile, in fourth place it's... no.  Can't do it.  It's a blatant holiday-themed rom com starring one of the stars of "Game of Thrones."  Not my cup of tea, never was.  GET YOURSELF A NEW GOD DAMN SERIES ALREADY!!!!!!!!!  I'm outta here

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