Awright! Back to work. James Aldridge? Nah, just a writer. Well, how about this James Aldridge? Nah, just Sound Effects. Boing! This James Aldridge? Nah, actor. I do like that one he did called Confetti... boy, that Pixar can anthropomorphize anything. This James Aldridge? Nah, just a "Self." Hmm! Wonder if these guys all have the same agent. Confusing for the secretary, I suppose. Of course, a really good agent takes his / her own calls, right?
How about James Attridge? Nah, Sound Department again. Boing Boing! James B. Partridge? Music Department! Ooh, isn't that a step up? If you're in the Music Department, you get to go to all the big parties: Emmys, Grammys, Oscars, what have you. The Vanity Fair party's a good one. But the mere Sound Department? Oh, they treat you like dirt. Always telling you to leave your equipment outside; just stay in the corner and don't mingle. Very mean. Okay, well, how about James Bainbridge? Everything BUT an auteur! Hmmm... damn, that's a good idea for a segment. Well, somebody else is gonna have to do that one. Have I inspired any copycats yet?
Okay, how about this James Bainbridge? Nah, just something called a "Consultant Retinal Surgeon." Lots of fringe people in showbiz, apparently. Okay, how about... Hallelujah! We've finally spotted land. THIS James Bainbridge is a director! Specializing in bad British TV, perhaps he's crossed paths with the previous James Bainbridge. I mean, between "Elephant Hospital" and "The Supervet," you're telling me they don't deal with the occasional eye trauma? I mean, cats hate the vacuum cleaner... #justsayin. I just hope our previous, quite pervious President doesn't get a farthing from "The Apprentice UK." Time to go now.
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