Thursday, March 18, 2021

Auteur Watch - James Bridge

 Awright!  Back to work.  Whelp, if you're talking about James Bridges, shouldn't we spend some time on James Bridge?  Well, not this one; art department.  Hmm!  "Wind in the Willows" by Kenneth Grahame.  It's almost one of those perennial remakes, like Tarzan, Sherlock Holmes, The Mummy, Dracula, Frankenstein, Noah's Ark... you know, that'd be a good list, wouldn't it?  Let's say Tarzan etc. is the first tier... what's the second tier?  Well, Pride and Prejudice and its like must go into the first tier, of course... horror films like A Nightmare on Elm Street needs its own separate tier.

I digress.  How about this James Bridge?  Nope.  ANOTHER Art Dept. guy!  Hmmm!!!  How about... oh, we're out.  The next name is James Bridgeman, and... umm, not my cup of tea, what can I tell you.  I'll put it under "Favorites" just in case.  The things some people do for art.  Okay, another James Bridgeman, and... umm, ALSO not my cup of tea.  Hmm!  A news show that has 330 episodes, and this guy only produces one?  So it might be the same guy for all we know!  Anyway, next name, and it's James Bridgen, and... hmm!  Actor and cinematographer?  Very few can do justice to both crafts... the only other one that comes to mind is Barry Sonnenfeld.  But he does a little bit of everything.  He works with toxic chemicals, he can film nine pornos in one New York day... Barry Sonnenfeld, call your mother.

On to the next, and it's James Bridger.  Nah, a mere gaffer... boy!  Must be a nice job.  Especially on an Avengers movie... ooh!  Ip Man 4, and it's on Netflix (TM) (C) (R)!  So much stuff to watch... anyway, if you're talking about James Bridge, how about a Bridge James?  Art Department AGAIN!!!!!  Small world, vocationally speaking.  How about Bridget James?  Does she or maybe he count?  Not in the case of an auteur watch, because they're... another empty cypher!  I stumble across one or two of these now and again.  ANOTHER good idea for a list.  I mean, how do you get on the IMDb if you haven't done anything?  And am I on there yet?  Better check... nope, no Wesley Gibson.  This is as close as I get.

How about THIS Bridget James?  Ooh, wait... I almost forgot.  What do this person and this person have in common?  That's RIGHT!  One and the same.  Wait a minute... yup!  My John Hyland problem remains unfixed.  Well, this Bridget James isn't a director, but one of the things she does is act.  And I certainly hope Judge Ross doesn't find out that she wasn't playing herself on his show.  Might not be good.  Anyway, it's almost time for "The Daily Show," which is good, because I think I finally stumbled upon a bonafide director: Elliot James Langridge.  Actor, Writer, Producer, Handsome... hat-wearing bastard.  He's only directed one thing, but he makes me sick anyway.

A scene from No Hopers on YouTube... the place where hope goes to die

No comments: