Anyway, the film in question this time, in this instant case is called A Dog's Purpose. And let me just say up front... boy, I must be a real pain in the ass to live with. I didn't pick the film... well, you know how it is. If it were up to me, Big Lebowski every night. At least once. Then once again with the swear counter. You too? So I let my roommate pick the viewing choice for the evening, then he says "And don't look up anything about it on the internet." He likes surprises, and apparently really hates it when I ruin them. You know, don't look up any reviews... ACTUAL reviews, not whatever the f... heck this little internet backwater is.
So, to sum up what we've covered so far, the film is A Dog's Purpose... and the word 'purpose,' of course, has special meaning to a film buff. After all, it is purpose that defines us, that created us... I can't remember the rest. It's giving me a special headache now, frankly. Meanwhile, somewhere in an alternate universe, the argument is still going on. "Yeah, a human designer!" "It had a DESIGNER." "Yeah, a human designer!" "It ... it had a DESIGNER." And even though I was forbidden from looking up anything about the film A Dog's Purpose, anything at all... I was told that it's an Amblin production. You know, Steven Spielberg. Now, I love and respect Spielberg as much as the next denizen of Hollywood... but I must confess that he's not the greatest producer in the world. One of the greatest directors, sure, no question, but... Harry and the Hendersons? "The Land Before Time" series? One of the eighty-six producers of the Transformers movies? I mean, I'm sure everyone in Hollywood owns several original prints of all these movies, and more than a few copies on 4K Ultra Blu-Ray and all that, but... probably a little hesitant to watch them. Just sayin'. A Dog's Purpose pretty much falls in line with that.
Not that it doesn't have its moments. For example, it seems that what caught my roommate's attention was the plot, because it involves reincarnation. Spoiler alert: it's a very movie friendly version of reincarnation. It seems that dogs can retain information from life to life. That's the overall premise of the plot. But for our sakes, the series of lifetimes is limited to nostalgia's sweet spot: from the 1950s to the 1980s or so. I'm not sure what year the film ends up in at the end, but I think it's somewhere in the awful 2000s. There's not many cultural touchstones during this period to rely on.
Unlike Fluke, where it's the viewpoint of a man reincarnated into a dog's body, we have a dog with the voice of a man. Spoiler alert: it's Josh Gad doing an impression of Tobey Maguire. We race through puppyhood and lots of cute shots of young puppies. I tell you one thing: selected clips of this movie ought to do great on YouTube. In some ways, it already is! I do like that, in various lifetimes, we're treated to puppies being given away for free by various people, and of course with badly handwritten signs advertising as such. It's all just wonderfully shot, and the soundtrack chosen with great care... mostly the '50s songs that the characters sing to.
We are treated to life from the point of view of a dog. One can't help but feel the touch of Cesar Millan in the writing. You know, stuff about the pack leader and what not. Early on, the dog tries to summarize what life is all about. 'Living in the moment' is one of the tenets, of course. I personally am SO SICK of being told to live in the moment. Somehow it seems to imply credit card debt, for one. For some reason, "living in the moment" is never given a concrete example.
One person who probably is not living in the moment, the way people ought to live in the moment, is the father of Ethan, the boy that the first dog is drawn to. "I need to stick with this boy," the dog says to himself. The boy and his mother love the dog, but the pre-alcoholic, surly workaholic salesman of a father is reluctant. He eventually agrees, but it seems like a plot device. I will say that I was kind of relieved that the boy Ethan was not a nerd. Ethan eventually winds up playing for the high school football team, and the dog, who eventually comes to be named Bailey, goes to school with Ethan.
Ethan... Coen?... .anyway, Ethan's story is the main story of this film. Wait a minute... is this film trying to be a series of short films like Amazon Women on the Moon or something? Or for a more current example, Movie 43? Maybe, ever so slightly. But Ethan's story is the main story, don't forget that. Sadly, the characters in Ethan's life are a bit stock. The stock positive mother, the stock surly father, a stock bully named Todd for Ethan who ends up burning down Ethan's house. To be fair, Todd pushes a lit firecracker through the old timey mail slot of Ethan's front door. The fire quickly spreads... man! Did someone paint that house with gasoline? Justice for Todd is swift, and Bailey the dog even gets to help out. Bailey grabs Todd by the leg, and soon enough two policemen are right there! It doesn't help that Todd quickly confesses. "It was an accident!" he says. Now, maybe I'm just cynical, but I thought that that was a bit hokey.
The whole film's a bit half and half that way. Ethan falls in love with a girl... I still believe in love from time to time myself. But after Ethan breaks his leg, he also breaks off his relationship with said girl. That seemed believable to me. The breakups I had at that age weren't over a broken leg, but it happens. Relationships get formed, they feel like they're going to last forever, then suddenly they don't. The dog was there for some of it, though. "Hmm! Ethan seems to be looking for food in her mouth! He didn't find any... but he didn't stop looking!" Yeah, we get it. Kinda gross, but very funny. Huge laughs with the focus group audience, I'm sure.
What's this film gotta do to get some tears out of me? Well, the opening credits sequence of Life of Brian might've done the trick! Anyway, we move on to the go-go '70s where the new Bailey is a girl police dog. There's an opening reference to "Hey, where's my..." Very tastefully done. Garry Shandling called, wants his dog castration bit back. I felt a little bit cheated by the '70s sequence. Where's the afros? The platform shoes with goldfish in the heels? Where's the chase on foot that ends up interrupting a porno shoot? But there is a missing girl case that Bailey ends up solving. Seemed a bit hokey to me, but whatever. The police dog ends up getting shot, giving the narrator a chance to lighten up the mood a bit by conflating gun shots with vaccinations. Worst shot ever, that kind of thing. Gotta go! John Oliver's on!
And for those of you who are concerned that the ongoing war between cats and dogs doesn't get addressed, not to worry. Ethan's family does have a cat, and there's some chasing involved, a little hissing, and best of all... spoiler alert... the cat dies. Not the dog's fault, BTW, but the dog tries to revive the cat by going in the backyard and digging up the cat's body, and bringing it back into the house. Yuge laughs in that focus group audience. Yuge. Now, this may seem bad, but hey. It's not like some West Virginian poured gasoline onto your cat, am I right? Must be some kind of local mountain custom or something. Hmm. Well, I've said too much already.
Now, for those of you who are fans of How to Make an American Quilt, you might get a little case of déjà vu here. If I remember correctly, and I might not, there was a crow that helped put together a broken relationship. Well, that's what the reincarnated dog does here. Sorry, SPOILER ALERT. Ethan ends up marrying his childhood sweetheart whom he dumped lo those many years ago... I think it's Hannah. Hello Hannah! Love those old timey expressions. She's a successful web site developer now, he's still running the family farm, everyone can breathe a sigh of relief. They have a big outdoor wedding. Ethan even invites Todd to the wedding as his Best Man! That came as a shock to me... sorry, just kidding. Wouldn't that have been something, though? If Ethan made amends with his bully that way? Bullying may be a thing of the past in our schools now, but it will live on forever in movies, kids. I mean, who doesn't like the occasional "Well, well, well... what have we here? New meat!" in their cinematic experiences.
...that's about all I can remember. So, the director was Lasse Hallström; somehow, I expected something better from him, but whatever. It's a new day. Among the five writers involved, one was Maya Forbes, who I remember from the glory days of "Larry Sanders"... has the #MeToo movement banned that one yet? Anyway, my roommate will be excited to learn that there are two sequels to this in the works. So many more films to watch, so little time...
**1/2
-so sayeth The Movie Hooligan
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