The only other debut this week is a little something for the indie-film Hipsters out there called Hotel Artemis. So much more etymology to look up on Wikipedia... well, here's a nice starter set for you. Something tells me that someone in the movie, sooner or later, is going to tell this very story! Ten thousand dollar bet, anyone? Apparently the movie is about a hotel for criminal dogs, and it's one of those places where you have to follow the rules, as in Payback or the John Wick series. Alas, it didn't connect with theater-going audiences this weekend, but who knows? Maybe later on with pay-per-view or HBO audiences. That's about all you can hope for these days, in general.
Now, as most of you know, I hate to wax political, but... this Scott Pruitt, man. He's making a bit of a nuisance of himself. All these corruption stories. For a cinematic equivalent, I think you'd have to go with the bad alien from 1987's The Hidden... sorry, SPOILER ALERT. Somehow he seems to have gotten the idea that the Federal Government is his own personal bank account. It's kinda like how John Kasich seems to run for President for the buffet opportunities. Stuffing his face on camera, saying "We've got to work to protect Social Security, Medicaid, all that crap... mmm... can you pass the chocolate-filled croissants, please? And some more coffee? They don't go good without coffee." But I am also a flagrant Name-ist, and I couldn't help but wonder what a guy with a name like Scott Pruitt... I mean, what does that do to a guy, having the same letter twice in a row in both your first and last name? It's hard to say! There's so few people like that in Hollywood! I mean, sure, you got Seann William Scott, the American Pie guy, but he seems to have turned out okay, right? I mean, he hasn't molested any banks or robbed any children, right? I know, bad example... first of all, he's a three-name person, and his first name ends with two 'n's... okay, I got a good one. Will Ferrell. Sure, an 'l' is no 't', but he fits the criteria, am I right? Plus, he's got that new series about a rich family called "Success"... I mean, "Succession." So, you know, telling stories about the people we should be telling stories about. Who cares about Uggo's and people homelier than Kim Alexis, am I right? For one thing, who's got the time?
...ooh! Okay, here's a good one. Scott Garrett. Apparently, Scott is the only first name that ends with two 't's. Doesn't seem particularly kleptic... kleptocratic? That's what we got in the White House right now... a kleptocracy. Once upon a time the White House was... okay, not necessarily the place you look to for moral guidance, especially with that Warren G. Harding bastard in there, but still. Then you've got the supposed polar opposite of Hollywood. But let me just say this: Hollywood wouldn't exist as an industry were it not for the Scott Garretts that populate it. Starting off as an actor, he slowly worked his way into the ranks of set dressing. Big field, large union... for some reason, being Drapery Foreman was his dream. Of course, once you do a movie like Epic Movie, naturally you might question your place in the universe in general, and in Hollywood in particular. Same thing happened to Marion Dougherty on her last movie... I thought See Spot Run was her last movie! So much for that anecdote!!!
...ooh! Here's a good one, and not a Scott! How about Brett Barrett? He might be a good example... and I'm just going ahead and assumpting... assuming he's a he. Or is Brett a girl's name yet as well? Damn. Guess I'm not woke or something. For some reason, Benjamin Bratt came to mind. Anyway, this Brett Barrett character... must've been tough being them. Looks like their jolly Hollywood career fizzled out quickly. Well, it's almost expected once you've been on a hit show like "Cheers." And of course, as with grades K-12, the relentless teasing continued. Every time Brett went on set, on with the jokes. I mean, arguably it's true, "Barrett" sounds like a drunk person trying to say "Brett." But do they really have to do that joke every time? Is it still funny after ... 25 episodes? This is the kind of thing that would make a person bring a gun to the set... Anyway, Ted Danson felt bad about all the teasing, so he gave Brett a job on his next sitcom called "Ink." But somehow it all just wasn't the same, so goodbye after two episodes.
Oh well. C'est la guerre. Better check in later... ooh! Here's another. How about Matt J. Bartlett? Résumé's kinda short... oh, crap. I actually reviewed that one! For some reason, couldn't bring myself to add my name to the list. So, short answer, this guy's probably like Pruitt. Oh, why can't I include someone like Florence Lawrence here? I mean, she's probably got the record! FIVE letters are the same in her first and last names! ...drat. Not her real last name. Never mind.
Ooh! Here's another good, non-Scott one. Garrett Bennett. Looks like he's a good, Pacific Northwest boy. Short résumé, sure, but an extremely positive IMDb bio page. I mean, when you get an Audience Award at a major international film festival, well... who wouldn't want to crow about that? Plus, I'm already a fan of his film called End of the Icon. Sure, I'll probably never see it, but... great title! Just add "epic" and "game-changing" to the list of things to END and I'll die a happy man.
Okay, gotta run again... ooh, wait! How about Brett Blewitt? Or Scott Bobbitt? Or Matt Bowkett? Or Scott Bramlett even?
How about Matt Burnett? Or this Matt Burnett? Or this one or that one?
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