Sunday, October 29, 2017

Auteur Watch - Maya Glick

...any relation to Jiminy, I wonder?  He never seems to mention her.  Whelp, she is a newbie to this biz, and I'm only about half familiar with her work, because I saw "Fanarchy" on the telly one night; that seems to be her on the cover.  Her thing is trying to toughen the image of the Marvel superhero Storm that was so thoroughly botched by Academy Award(TM) winner Halle Berry, probably on all occasions, but for wildly different reasons.  And so we get the short feature called Rain.  Now, normally with a perceived threat like this, and Marv Films, the Marvel Super League of copyright lawyers would spring into action.  But as explained in "Fanarchy," they try to go easy on the superfans, and for the most part just let them do their thing.  In the case of Fanboys, well... one of them BETTER be dying, or they WILL be dying!  Probably from clinging to the electric fence around the estate!

Auteur Watch: George Clooney

...did anyone else notice this while watching La La Land?  There was the scene where Ryan Gosling was in his apartment, and he was playing the piano.  And it seemed like they re-dubbed his playing with someone else's, which seemed a little unnecessary.  But then I thought that, well, maybe it's an actual L.A. apartment they're in, so the sound outside is probably drowning out everything.  Plus, there were probably a lot of gawkers outside as well, and security guards trying to hold back the throngs wanting to catch a glimpse of Ryan Gosling.  Never did finish the movie; a little too L.A. narcissistic for my taste, but someday I will really sit down and watch it on a double bill with Up in the Air.
Anyway, America... you make me sad.  Ever since 2002, George Clooney has directed a film every three years.  We've got 2002's Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, 2005's Good Night and Good Luck, 2008's Leatherheads... that's the black sheep of the family, if only in my mind... There's 2011's The Ides of March, 2014's The Monuments Men... and now, 2017's Suburbicon, the long rumoured Coen script in which Clooney was supposed to play a guy who gets beaten to death with a golf club, because someone else saw Pacific Heights too!  There even was a sustained TV and IMDb-based ad campaign for the damn movie.  You might've seen it too.  I only seem to watch "The Daily Show" and it was there!  And that's, like... the most popular show on TV!  Alas, it wasn't meant to be.  Maybe it's only in 300 theaters or something, mostly in the Midwest.  Well, people stayed away because they saw the ads and went "...Paramount?  I thought Clooney was a WB man, through and through.  Nope, ain't going to see it."
No, people wanted a little more fantastical version of violence, so they went to see Jigsaw.  Ick.  Well, it was #1 with a piddly 16.3 million dollars, so Jigsaw will go on to play against Jason in the semi-finals.  Alien seems to be winning on the Alien v. Predator side of things.  No one likes Predator anymore.
Meanwhile, at #6, it's Thank You For Your Service.  It made $3.7 million domestic, so I think the phrase is safe.  People probably aren't going to confuse it for the movie any time soon.

Wednesday, October 25, 2017

Submarines Make Me Feel Fine

Whelp, better late than never, right?  Is The Hunt for Red October (1990) one of those movies that you need to see before you die?  Or is it just another tile from the big tile factory? I need to tell you, that's from one of the episodes of "Feud: Bette and Joan."  Well, the Maltin guide gives it 3.5 stars, so clearly it's got legs and a bit of goodwill behind it.  The book nerds at my high school were excited about Tom Clancy finally getting his Hollywood due, being both fans of fine literature and the fine Cold Warriors that they were.
I will say that perhaps Clancy was trying to warn us with the one character named Putin.  But the Russians on that vessel took care of that guy, that's for sure.  Thought he could just take over the whole sub by himself, eh?  Harumph!  Maybe history will repeat itself, who knows.  But I do know this: Sean Connery plays a bad guy here... or does he?  This isn't The Hill or The Offence, after all.  Plus, the producers were thinking blockbusters and sequels, so you know they weren't going to get too dark with the proceedings.  Sorry... SPOILER ALERT(s).  That it's rated a mere "PG" instead of "PG-13" is merely a sign of the times.  A "PG" rating was still fashionable then; now it's kind of the kiss of death.  Your blockbuster of today has to be a PG-13; how close to an 'R' you are allowed to get depends probably mostly on the budget.  Take The Dark Knight, for example.  Some messed-up $#... stuff in there, just sayin'.  In case you didn't know.
For me, the plot gets a little too ridiculous at times.  Mostly the drama of a helicopter running out of fuel while trying to land Jack Ryan on the top of the American sub.  Then of course, there's the moment when Jack Ryan gets onto Sean Connery's sub, and the Americans and Russians team up to kick some Russian sub ass together... sorry, SPOILER ALERT.  Other than that, a fine sub-based drama.  Who doesn't like a good paradigm shift in their cinematic experiences?  In case you didn't know, the story is basically about the drama that unfolds when the Russians gain an advantage in submarine technology, able to slip and slide about under the sea undetected by NATO tracking equipment.
Now, I did happen upon the following "conspiracy" theory about Hunt for Red October (directed by John McTiernan) and the Die Hard series... at least, the installments directed by John McTiernan.  That one involves the involvement of one actor who plays roles in all of the movies.  I think I can do him one better.  In both Die Hard 1 and The Hunt for Red October, both involve a black nerd ("blerd"?  Am I allowed to use that term?) who's pivotal to the plot.  Fortunately, he's on America's team in Red October.  Both DH1 and Hunt have a scene where a guy's crawling around in a tight space, and doing sarcastic commentary to himself.  And did anyone else think that the big explosion at the end of Hunt (spoiler alert) looked a little bit like the big explosion in the middle of Die Hard 1 when Bruce Willis blows up the bad guys' big cache of explosives located in the middle of the building?  Guess I better go to my local video store and try to rent the two of them.  Sadly, my DVD collection's a little incomplete.  Also, I didn't use Microsoft SQL Server 2012 to catalogue it, so, sorry to the database nerds out there.  Those are the big three similarities that occur to me off the top of my head.  Not that McTiernan repeats himself that much.

-so sayeth The Movie Hooligan

Sunday, October 22, 2017

Auteur Watch - Ron Glass

...Alton's father, perchance?  Anyway, this will be a first test of just how popular "Barney Miller" is.  Because even a workaholic like Ron Glass longs... longed for bigger and better things.  Wonder if there's social mobility in Heaven?  I guess there is, when one thinks of Seraphim and Cherubim and what not.  It's not enough just to be even an angel, go figure.  There are alpha, beta and omega members of, say, the X-Men and the Justice League, after all.
But let's face it.  Ron's a star, just not a big star.  You never hear anyone talk about him playing Felix Unger on "The New Odd Couple."  For that matter, when was the last time they played Bustin' Loose on cable?  I mean, it's Richard PRYOR, for God's sake!  And he's bustin' loose!  Why can't we see that every now and again?  Then again, you don't hear much about the new Honeymooners either.  But I think I know how it is.  I'm an average guy, and Ron seems like an average guy, and going from actor to director means a move into management.  Average guys tend not to want to make that move.  You know, and ruin the delicate friendships they've worked so hard to cultivate.  Orchids and morels, they are.  Or like my dad says, whenever he goes to play poker.  If you win big in the first thirty minutes, well... you can't just get up and leave!  People don't like that!  Might not want to play with ya in future tourneys.  They're angry enough already as it is.
But the time eventually came to give it a try.  Ron was tired of watching all his friends getting pulled up by their bootstraps, while he sat by and no one helped.  So he wanted to get a chance to put his ass in that physically humble yet symbolically all-powerful director's chair.  But he didn't want to do an episode of either "Amen" or "Rhythm & Blues."  Because, again, his friends.  Who wants to direct their friends?  Especially when the demons come out because of the looming deadlines.  Looming deadlines always tend to bring them out.  So, an episode of something called "Stat" would have to do.  Oh, but I do it injustice.  After all, as of this writing it's got an 8.7 out of 10 on the IMDb.  Of course, only seven people voted so far.  The Shawshank Redemption, in contrast, has a 9.3, but 1.8 million people have cast a vote!  Now, the episode he did is called "High Society."  Wonder if it's anyone's favourite?  Probably not Dennis Boutsikaris.  Probably doesn't remember doing it.  He's too busy bringing roses to Ron Silver's grave, and telling reporters that he's the best thing on "Better Call Saul."

Halloween 2017 - Insert Title Here

Here's something to file under the "How Sad is That" Dept. at Mad Magazine: I was somehow looking at a sampling of customer reviews at Amazon, and I couldn't help but think to myself... hey!  Why isn't MINE in there?  Then I realized that I put no effort into what I write for those.  I usually just give the bastards five stars and move on.  Believe it or not, there were some other things I wanted to do with my life... but as I sit here in front of the computer, none of them are coming to me.  Oh well.
Well, arguably and perhaps even technically all Madea movies are sequels... you might notice a special Madea subsection in the Electronics department at your local Wal-Mart even... Tyler Perry was nevertheless rejuvenated with last year's Halloween movie.  So much so, that a sequel to it was clearly in order.  But in the wake of a new spate of post-Weinstein sexual assault and or abuse allegations, something tells me that she's going to be speaking up soon... just sayin'.  Ain't no Uggos getting any action.  They say that Camryn Manheim is outspoken, so where is she in all of this?  Didn't Michael Ovitz make a pass or two at her at some point?  Nothing but celebrity inbreeding in the bubble!  You venture outside the bubble at your own peril.  Anyway, congratulations to Tyler Perry for another fine payday.  A writer-director writes/directs!  Always!
Our second debut this week is an attempt by former Roland Emmerich producer Dean Devlin to do two things: 1) make a Roland Emmerich-type vehicle, and 2) wrap up the Gerard Butler "Has Fallen" trilogy... in the meantime, he came up with something called Geostorm.  I hate to be so glib, but it is past my bedtime, so let me just say that The Day After Tomorrow called...
Our third debut coming in at #5 is called Only the Brave.  I hate to be repetitious, but the same thing happened to Only the Strong.  People saw that title and said, "Well, I'm not strong, so I obviously can't go."  In the case of Only the Brave, well... I can't help but think of Hereafter.  They hesitated to release it in Japan because of the tsunami sequence, and the recent tsunami that hit in Japan, which devastated much of the coastline, and a little bit of Gilbert Gottfried's career.  Only the Brave is about an elite group of firefighters, and lately the fires seem to be winning.  Take Santa Rosa, for example.  I think these California communities under siege from such wildfires need to take more preventative measures.  First of all, they need to surround their community with wetlands.  A large buffer of wetlands.  I guess a mere moat might not do it.  Maybe test out different ideas!  A wall, some artificial hills, but I'm still smitten by the idea of a wetland... something that might slow the fire down a little bit.  I'm thinking the insurance companies are going to weasel out of payments, probably take care of the bigger Anaheim estates first that also recently burned down.  Or just move to Washington state!  We're not growing fast enough.  We can't build these McMansions next to state parks quickly enough.  Buy a few of them!  Come on up, the party's just getting started.  I'm 40 years ahead of the trend myself.  My problem is I didn't bring a BMW and a ponytail with me, so of what use am I?
And finally, at #8 is The Snowman.  Produced by Martin Scorsese and starring Michael Fassbender... they'll get him to play Walter White in the final season of "Better Call Saul."  Alas, The Snowman didn't make a lot of money, and probably didn't bring in many X-Men fans either.  They're never interested in X-Men actors in non-X-Men movies.  Except for Mother!, of course.  Somehow this movie treads that fine line between Fargo and one of these new PG-13 rated horror movies.  Someone's probably come up with a good subgenre name for them, but I don't have kids so I have no idea what that terminology would be.  I feel sorry for parents these days.  They gotta plunk down hundreds of dollars for a Sony Playstation or a Microsoft X-Box, then shell out 50 bucks a pop for the games.  Better to just develop your child's friend-making skills, really.  Get them to find a rich kid to siphon off their entertainment needs from.

Sunday, October 15, 2017

Auteur Watch - Alton Glass

After giving up on acting in 2001, our next auteur Alton Glass has never looked back from his lofty perch in that humble director folding chair.  Of course, the really good directors don't usually sit in them for long; they're too busy walking around, micromanaging the crew half to death.  Everyone pictures directors just sitting in the chair, clapping their hands, and everyone running around automatically knowing what they must do.  Takes years to get to that level of shorthand.
But when you've got a résumé of directing credits as long as Alton has, you just have to narrow it down.  Narrow that sh... stuff down.  Which is where the IMDb Top 4 comes in, for one.  Now, I have a question: as of this writing, Alton's IMDb Top 4 is Cru, The Confidant, The Candy Shop and Marco Polo.  All theatrical releases, mind you!  But what about Alton's TV work?  What is that?  Say it with me... CHOPPED LIVER???!!!!!!!  I mean, take a look at Rod Daniel!  As of this writing, ... ah, they're sticking with his 80s catalogue, but I'm pretty sure "Home Alone 4" was direct to home video... Good Lord.  Okay, let's try Peter Bonerz.  There you go!  All kind of TV work in his Top 4.
Anyway, I wonder what Alton's own favorite one is.  I'm thinking The Confidant.  You know, because of working with Key and Peele... that is Key and Peele, right?

Shakespeare in Lust

As you can tell from his high school yearbook photo, Harvey Weinstein is in the news lately.  A lot of Harvey's old colleagues are coming out of the woodwork... but they don't seem to be speaking up for him.  Kevin Smith, for example, apologized for Weinstein's behaviour and said he feels "ashamed" for having his work financed by Weinstein.  As opposed to his post-Weinstein work, which... well, it doesn't seem to have an edge or a bite to it.  Maybe I'm painting with too broad of a brush here.  What about Quentin Tarantino and Michael Moore, whose Fahrenheit 11/9 is apparently still being financed by Weinstein?  Awk-warrrrrrdddd........ and what about Bob?  What is he, chopped liver?  Like Bobby Farrelly, you never hear about Bob a whole lot.  Anyway, Harvey is in the news because of his busy hands.  Republicans are ganging up on him, but only because of the really disgusting stuff... you know, giving money to Democrats like Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama.  Pretty soon, they'll be trying to demonize him like they attempt to do with Colin Kaepernick, saying how he's taken American dollars from this country.  It's America's money, not yours, and it should ONLY be used to pay for Mike Pence's mortgage... what is Harvey's net worth, anyway?  Nobody's talking about that; it must be a lot, but the media won't hit below the belt like that and go after a monster's net worth.  But one nice thing about Yahoo's search is that it will automatically get a person's net worth from and put it on their page for you, thereby saving you the agony of going to another web site.  As Jerry Seinfeld will tell you... it's agony.  Stop sending him pages, damn it!  But I think Ronan Farrow's right, ultimately.  When you go from #4 to #200 on Hollywood's power broker list, you leave yourself vulnerable to accusations, and getting your ass dragged into the public square to be eviscerated by the late night jesters, and possibly even to drawing and quartering.  People want to see flesh and blood, and limbs off the bone, and you can't be a serial molester if you're only worth a paltry $200 million.
...where was I?  Oh, right.  Anyway, back to the horse race.  Coming out of left field again at #1 is another PG-13 rated horror movie.  This one is called Happy Death Day.  As of this writing, this is not an official American holiday yet.  Might make us a happier culture like Venezuela or Brazil, should we ever decide to go that way.  But we are a youth-obsessed culture, and we don't associate youth with impending death yet, but Children of Men tried.  As usual, I don't know where the ad campaign for Happy Death Day came from; maybe the Russians did a big Facebook campaign for the movie or something.  They've taken renewed interest in my site once again, as they seem to do every couple months or so.  Not a terribly big boost, mind you... I think they're just attracted to the email account I use as a login name.  Keep fighting the good fight, comrades!  The Israelis will take care of Putin for you, if the recent news headlines are to be believed.  Anyway, I also haven't seen a big IMDb ad campaign for Happy Death Day or anything.  No, they're currently pushing Suburbicon, the latest movie made from a Coen script.  Don't need to sell me, though!  I just gotta wait 12 more days.  The film's not even out yet and it's already up to 4.6 out of 10 in ratings!  How do they do that?
The other debut this week is Taken... I mean, Jackie Chan's latest, The Foreigner.  It's about a guy who seeks revenge after his daughter is kidnapped... I mean, killed.  Totally different.  It's a Martin Campbell picture, and it's not like Edge of Darkness, where the protagonists' daughter dies from radiation poisoning.  And speaking of Mel Gibson, his American rehabilitation continues with the upcoming Daddy's Home 2.  Marky Mark keeps his feelings very well under wraps, and he'll keep mum about all this as well, too.  But who knows?  Maybe he and Mel Gibson got along well.  They play father and son in this show.  In the upcoming Dragged Across Concrete, the plot description says it's about two policemen.  One is the old-timer (Gibson), and the other is his volatile younger partner.  Try and guess who plays that part.  You won't believe it either.  Who could it be?  Josh Duhamel?  Dane Cook?  Adam Sandler?  Kevin James?

Sunday, October 08, 2017

Auteur Watch - David Gitonga

Or, as some prefer to refer to him, 'Tosh.'  Ugh.  In America, only one has that name.  Maybe David will take it back or something, who knows.  Reminds me of how I used to have a co-worker named Moussa whose nickname was "Moose."

What Happened in Vegas

While Oliver Stone and a screenwriter are busy trying to unpack the story of Vegas mass shooter Stephen Paddock, it's another glorious payday for arguably the most successful movie star in Hollywood History... no, not Scott Baio, but he is of course a close second.  I'm talking about Han Solo himself, Harrison Ford, and his latest, Blade Runner 2049.  I only read some of the critical praise; naturally, they had to skip over details, and not just because of Warner Bros. insistence that they don't spoil the plot.  But seriously, no love for Edward James Olmos or Sean Young?  What are they... CHOPPED LIVER?!!!  Meanwhile, the campaign begins in earnest for Roger Deakins to finally get an Oscar this year.  And from the sound of things, Blade Runner 2049 could very well make it into his IMDb Top 4.  But what will it replace?  Probably not Shawshank Redemption... nothing will ever move that one out of place, anywhere.  Seriously.  Maybe Skyfall or A Beautiful Mind... probably Skyfall.  But whatever lesson the ASC taught Deakins, especially after 2007... I mean, the guy's up for a statue for TWO films and he loses?  Was he late on his dues or something?  Or is the statute of limitations on Barton Fink really just forever and a day?  Call him Good Luck Roger, I guess.
Our second debut this week is slightly more ambitious than the rom-coms of Sandra Bullock and Kate Hudson.  It's called The Mountain Between Us, and... it's all I can do to keep from making a reference to The Defiant Ones, but the similarities are striking.  Instead of being on the run from the law, however, the two protagonists in Mountain are on the run from Mother Nature... at times like this, a much more cruel opponent.  Will these two strangers forge a connection that will allow them to survive?  Much like the connection they've forged with the moviegoing public over the years?  I just hope Idris Elba hasn't seen Titanic... he might just lose all hope, or think that this girl is just bad luck.
Our last debut this week is My Little Pony: The Movie.  This is the kind of thing that I used to turn to The Onion's A.V. Club for some relief.  But they've gone totally corporate now!  They've got their own TV channel or something... no more relief.  Well, maybe this is a bad example.  It's a movie for kids, not a movie for Christians by Christians.  I just grow so weary of Christians sticking their pinky toes in the big waters.  I prefer a little unaffiliated, Atheistic competence in my big-time million-dollar blockbusters, as David Letterman might say.  But I will take a second out of my busy-ass schedule to point out that this is a big step up for director Jayson Thiessen, who's slaved away in the My Little Pony mines for years, and is just now emerging to the surface, seeing the light with the rest of the surface dwellers.  What that must do to a man, spending his days, telling animated ponies what to do...

Sunday, October 01, 2017

Short Reviews - October 2017

Conflict of Interest - With Jack A. Daniels as Jack Daniels

The Illegal Bucket Shops - With Jack Abbott as Jack Stevens

The Iron Ring - With Jack Abbott as Jack Stevens

The Milk Battle - With Jack Abbott as Jack Stevens

The Patent Medicine Danger - With Jack Abbott as GlaxoWellcome Jack Stevens

The Pirates of Finance - With Jack Abbott as Goldman Sachs Jack Stevens

The Powder Trust and the War - With Jack Abbott as Jack Stevens

Shadows - With Jack Ackerman as Jack... Director of Dance Studio

Papa Est Devenu un Lutin - Avec Jack Adams son Jack Rousseau

"Tattletales" - With Jack Albertson as Jack & Wallace (himself)

"The Thin Man" "Scene of the Crime" - With Jack Albertson as Lt. Jack Evans

"The Donna Reed Show" "The Fatal Leap" - With Jack Albertson as Jack Richards

The Bear Hunt - With Jack Allen as Major Jack Allen

Montana Mountain Adventures - With Jack Allen as Major Jack Allen

The Story of the Jaguar - With Jack Allen as Major Jack Allen

The Story of the Wolf - With Jack Allen as Major Jack Allen

Tiger Land - With Jack Allen as Major Jack Allen... hey, why can't this guy have his day in the sun again?

Life in Danger - With Jack Allen as Jack Ashley

Lion Trapping - ugh... with Jack Allen as Major Jack Allen

Voices in My Head - With Jack ALMazeedi as Jack ALMazeedi

King B: A Life in the Movies - With Jack Angel as Jack Cole

"The Real Ghostbusters" "Sea Fright" - With Jack Angel as Captain Jack Higgins (voice)

"Comedy Bang! Bang!" "Mark Duplass Wears a Striped Sweater and Jeans" - With Jack Antonoff as Jack... the Crew Guy

I Am Dale Earnhardt - With Jack Arute as Jack Arute

Queen For a Day - With Jack Bailey as Jack Bailey... Program Host

"Call the Midwife" "Episode #3.1" - With Jack Bailey as Jack Smith

"Petticoat Junction" "The Lost Patrol" - With Jack Bannon as Jack Bevans

Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid To Ask - With Jack Barry as Jack Barry

Cassino to Korea - With Jack Benny as Jack Benny... USO Show (archive footage)

"The Jack Benny Program" - With Benjamin Kubelsky as Jack Benny (256 episodes)

"Checkmate" "A Funny Thing Happened on My Way to the Game" - With Jack Benny as Jack Bowen

"Rhoda" "It's Not My Fault, Is It?" - With Jack Bernardi as Uncle Jack

Vendetta: No Conscience, No Mercy - With Jack Betts as Jack McGuire

"The United States Steel Hour" "Revolt in Hadley" - With Jack Betts as Jack Taylor

"Monster Mountain" - With Jack Birch as Ranger Jack

"January 2009 in 6 Minutes" - With Jack Black as Jack Austin (archive footage, uncredited)

"Night Ranger: You Can Still Rock in America" - With Jack Blades as... Jack Blades

Man to Man - With Jack Blakely as Jack... Fred's Brother

"The X-Files" "Audrey Pauley" - With Jack Blessing as Dr. Jack Preijers

"George Lopez" - With Jack Blessing as Jack Powers (20 episodes)

Avenged by Lions - With Jack Bonavita as Jack Bonavita and His Bostock Animals

The Legend of Bogema Creek - With Jack Bonneman as Jack Businessman

Jack & Me - With Jack Boring as Jack Taylor

"One Life to Live" - With Jack Boscoe as Jack Manning (4 episodes, one credited as John 'Jack' Cramer Manning)

'Resident Evil 7: Biohazard' - With Jack Brand as Jack Baker (voice)

That's a Good Girl - With Jack Buchanan as Jack Barrow

Brewster's Millions - With Jack Buchanan as Jack Brewster

"Division 4" "The Tangled Web" - With Jack Budden as Chatty Jack

"Wagon Train" "The Prairie Story" - With Jack Buetel as Jack Reynolds

Just About Famous - With Jack Bullard as Jack Nicholson

Buffalo Rider - With Jack Bungkan as Jack Bungkan

"Silk Stalkings" "The Loneliest Number" - With Jack Burns as Jack Colgate

"Stowaway to the Moon" - With Jack Callahan as Dr. Jack Smathers

Daytime Wives - With Jack Carlyle as Jack Jagner

"Hetty Wainthropp Investigates" "A Minor Operation" - With Jack Carr as Jack Doolan

Personal Secretary - With Jack Carr as Jack Murphy (uncredited)

"The Bob Cummings Show" "Hawaii Calls" - With Jack Carson as Jack Carson

It's a Great Feeling - With Jack Carson as Jack Carson

The Shining Future - With Jack Carson as Jack Carson

Thank Your Lucky Stars - With Jack Carson as Jack Carson

Destry Rides Again - With Jack Carson as Jack Tyndall

"Touched By an Angel" "Cry and You Cry Alone" - With Jack Carter as Jack Carter

The Great Buck Howard - With Jack Carter as Jack Carter

"Make Room For Daddy" "Danny's Replacement" - With Jack Carter as Jack Carter

"B. J. and the Bear" "Intercepted Pass" - With Jack Carter as Jack Walton

Code of the Mounted - With Jack Casey as Jack... Henchman (uncredited)

"The Real McCoys" "The Roofing Salesman" - With Jack Cassidy as Jack Masters

Boots of Destiny - With Jack Cheatham as Jack... Bartender (uncredited)... and to a lesser extent, with Ed Cassidy as Jack Harmon

Love Begins at Twenty - With Jack Cheatham as Jack... Detective (uncredited)

Air Hostess - With Jack Cheatham as Jack... Mechanic (uncredited)

Ellery Queen's Penthouse Mystery - With Jack Cheatham as Jack... Desk Sergeant (uncredited)

The Murder in the Museum - With Jack Cheatham as Detective Jack (uncredited)

Sudden Danger - With Jack Chefe as Jack... Headwaiter (uncredited)

"Foyle's War" "Fifty Ships" - With Jack Chissick as Jack Dunning

Rah, Rah, Radio - With Jack Clemens as Jack Clemens

A Wife from the Country - With Jack Clifford as Jack Bruce... and to a lesser extent, with Richard Cummings as Jack's Father

"K Street" "Week 9" - With Jack Cloonan as Agent Jack Foster

Moonlight in Vermont - With Jack Coffey as a Jivin' Jack (uncredited)

Chip Off the Old Block - With Jack Coffey as Member... Jivin' Jacks (uncredited)

"Crash & Burn" - With Jack Coleman as Jack Coleman

"Bewitched" "Trick or Treat" - With Jack Collins as Jack Rogers

"Flood" - With Jack Collins as Jack Spangler

"The Incredible Hulk" - With Jack Colvin as Jack McGee (82 episodes)

"The Incredible Hulk Returns" - With Jack Colvin as Jack McGee

"Brian's Song" - With Jack Concannon as Jack Concannon

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" - With Jack Conley as Jack Herson (2 episodes, one in 2003 as Mr. Lizzio)

"Mob City" "His Banana Majesty" - With Jack Conley as Jack O'Mara... also featuring Mike Hagerty as Fat Jack Bray, and Paul Ben-Victor as Jack Dragna

"Lost Angels" "Bad Moon on the RIse [sic]" - With Jack Conley as Jack O'Mare

The One-Way Trail - With Jack Connolly as Jack Hanlon

The Woman and the Law - With Jack Connors as Mr. Jack La Salle ... and with Miriam Cooper as Mrs. Jack La Salle

The Price of Crime - With Jack Conway as Jack Conway... also with Henry A. Livingston as Jack Livingston and Wanna Browne as Mrs. Conway... Jack's Mother

Mary of the Mines - With Jack Conway as Jack Norton

The New Aunt - With Jack Cooper as Uncle Jack

"Worst Bakers in America" "Trick or Treat?" - With Jack Corrigan as Jack food taster

Riddles in Rhythm - With Jack Costanzo as Jack Costanzo

Kerouac, the Movie - With Jack Coulter as Jack Kerouac

"The Road from Coorain" - With Raymond 'Jack' Crawford as Jack Kelly

"Playdate" "Man With a Rope" - With Jack Creley as Jack Ketch

All American Bikini Car Wash - With Jack Cullison as Jack Miller

The Invisible Enemy - With Jack Cummings as Jack Webster

Square Shooter - With Jack Curtis as Jack... Bartender (uncredited).  ALSO WITH Jack Evans as Jack... Miller Rider!!!!!!!!!!!! (uncredited)

Between Fighting Men - With Jack Curtis as Jack... Saloon Owner (uncredited)

Broadway Arizona - With Jack Curtis as Jack Boggs

The Prescott Kid - With Jack Curtis as Bartender Jack (uncredited) ... typecast much?

The Firefly of Tough Luck - With Jack Curtis as Happy Jack Clarke

God's Crucible - With Jack Curtis as Oracle Jack

Thunder Trail - With Jack Daley as Jack... Bartender (uncredited)

"Out on Parole" - With Jack Danahy as Jack Fullerton

Tennessee's Pardner - With Jack Dean as Jack Hunter

Chocolate Heist - With Jack Dearing as Jack Ocean

Romance in a Beanery - With Jack Delson as Jack Darrow

Stars Over Broadway - With Jack Dempsey as Jack Dempsey

The Prizefighter and the Lady - With Jack Dempsey as Jack Dempsey... Promoter?

Big City - With Jack Dempsey as Jack Dempsey

Broadway Highlights No. 1 - With Jack Dempsey as Jack Dempsey (archive footage)

A Dozen Socks - With Jack Dempsey as Jack Dempsey

Mr. Broadway - With Jack Dempsey as Jack Dempsey

Off Limits - With Jack Dempsey as Jack Dempsey

Young Man of Manhattan - With Jack Dempsey as Jack Dempsey (archive footage, uncredited)

Sweet Surrender - With Jack Dempsey as Jack Dempsey... Restaurant Owner

Daredevil Jack - With Jack Dempsey as Jack Derry

All's Swell on the Ocean - With Jack Dempsey as Tiger Jack O'Day

Bring Him In - With Jack Dempsey as Tiger Jack O'Day

Fight and Win - With Jack Dempsey as Tiger Jack O'Day

The Health Farm Wallop - With Jack Dempsey as Tiger Jack O'Day

K. O. for Cupid - With Jack Dempsey as Tiger Jack O'Day

So This Is Paris - With Jack Dempsey as Tiger Jack O'Day

A Society Knockout - With Jack Dempsey as Tiger Jack O'Day

The Title Holder - With Jack Dempsey as Tiger Jack O'Day

The Town Hall To-Night - With Jack Dempsey as Tiger Jack O'Day

West of Hot Dog West of the Water Bucket - With Jack Dempsey as Tiger Jack O'Day

Winning His Way - With Jack Dempsey as Tiger Jack O'Day

"Days of Our Lives" - With Jack Denbo as Jack Clayton (unknown episodes, 1974-1977)

Moonlight and Pretzels - With Jack Denny as Jack Denny... Orchestra Leader (as Jack Denny and His Orchestra)

Rambling 'Round Radio Row #5 - With Jack Denny as Jack Denny... Orchestra Leader (as Jack Denny and His Orchestra)

"Walking Through History" "England's Last Battle: The West Country" - With Jack Deverell as General Sir Jack Deverell... Former Commander-in-Chief, NATO North

The Culper Spy Adventure - With Jack Dillon as Jack Fyddle

"The Top 100 Moments in Raw History" - With Jack Doan as Jack Doan... Referee

"The Road West" "A Mighty Hunter Before the Lord" - With Jack Dodson as Jack Hanson

Variety Hour - With Jack Donohue as Jack Donohue

Rhythm in the Air - With Jack Donohue as Jack Donovan

"Here's Lucy" "Where Is My Wandering Mother Tonight?" - With Jack Donohue as Dirty Jack

The Hatton Garden Job - With Jack Doolan as Judas-Jack

UR4 Given - With Jack Doroshow as Father Jack

Lonesome Luck - With Jack D(o/a)ugherty as Happy Jack Morgan

The Trail of the Tiger - With Jack D(o/a)ugherty as Jack Stewart

The Body Punch - With Jack D(o/a)ugherty as Jack Townsend

"Tattletales" - With Jack Douglas as Jack & Reiko (5 episodes)

"Yuzoogle" "Intellectual Cermedy" - With Jack Douglass as Jack Douglass / JacksFilms

"Toby Sucks at Podcasts" "Depressing Song LIVE" - With Jack Douglass as Jack Douglass / JacksFilms

Aurora Floyd - With Jack Drumier as Jack Floyd

Crazylegs - With Jack Dwyer as Jack Dwyer... Los Angeles Rams Halfback

The Great MacArthy - With Jack Dyer as Jack Diehard

In the Shadow of the Dreamgirl - With Jack Dyson as Jack Dyson

"Survivor's Remorse" "In the Offing" - With Jack Edwards as Jack Edwards

His Exciting Night - With Jack Egan as Jack... Office Worker (uncredited)

Three Smart Boys - With Jack Egan as Jack... The Assistant

"Rawhide" "The Pitchwagon" - With Jack Elam as Turkey Creek Jack Johnson

Hawmps! - With Jack Elam as Bad Jack Cutter

"Stories of the Century" "Black Jack Ketchum" - With Jack Elam as Black Jack Ketchum

The Battle at Apache Pass - With Jack Elam as Mescal Jack

"The Lone Ranger" "The Sheriff's Wife" - With Jack Elam as Jack Miles

The Ballad of Ramblin' Jack - With Jack Elliott as Ramblin' Jack Elliott (...himself)

The Bond of Blood - With Jack Ellis as Jack Moore

Emoh Ruo - With Jack Ellis as Jack Tunkley

"Singalong Saturday" - With Jack Emblow as The Jack Emblow Quartet (6 episodes) (...themselves)

"Sujeito Imperfeito" - With Jack Endino as Jack Endino... the Godfather of Grunge

"Wasak" "Jack Enrile" - With Jack Enrile as Rep. Jack Enrile

The Riding Avenger - With Jack Evans as Jack... Henchman (...uncredited)

The Pecos Kid - With Jack Evans as Jack... Townsman (...uncredited), and with Jack Hendricks as Jack... HENCHMAN (uncredited)

Border Caballero - With Jack Evans as...  Henchman Jack! (...uncredited)  Excuse me while I drink three cups of coffee.  So, for those of you keeping score, here's the movie SAT question.  The Riding Avenger, Jack - Henchman... Border Caballero, Henchman Jack!  Typecast much?  I can haz typecast?

Lightning Range - With Jack Evans as Jack Knife

"A Step Away From War" - With Jack Evernden as Dr. Jack Evernden... Senior Research Geophysicist, U.S. Geological Survey

Around the World Under the Sea - With Jack Ewalt as Jack Smith... Mining Platform Superintendant [sic]

Kiss Me Good Night - With Jack Farrell as Jack Summers

Disc Jockey - With Jack Fina as Jack Fina

It's Great to Be Young - With Jack Fina as Jack... the Piano Player

Kokoda: 39th Battallion - With Jack Finsterer as Jack Scholt

"Dateline Scotland" - With Jack Foster as Jack Foster (2014)

Flossie - With Jack Frank as Jack Archer

"Getting There with Jack Danley" - With Jack Frederick as Jack Danley (3 episodes... as of this writing)

"Homicide: Life on the Streets" "Shaggy Dog, City Goat" - With Jack Frost as Dr. Jack Frost

The Tree on the Wall - With Jack Fuchs as Jack Fuchs

Picture Palace - With Jack Fulton as Jack Hollis

A Mix-Up in Photos - With Jack Gaines as Jack's Father

"Bringing Up Jack" - With Jack Gallagher as Jack McMahon (6 episodes)

"The Paradise Club" - With Jack Galloway as DS Jack Nesbit (9 episodes)

"Jack Investigates" - With Jack Gamble as Jack Gamble (13 episodes)

Screen Snapshots Series 16, No. 1 - With Jack Gardner as Jack Gardner

Louisiana Hayride - With Jack Gargan as Jack... Assistant Director (uncredited)

The Power and the Prize - With Jack Gargan as Jack... DOORMAN.  Wotta step up.

"The Rockford Files" "Crack Back" - With Jack Garner as Court Deputy Jack

"Bret Maverick" - With Jack Garner as Jack the Bartender (18 episodes)

Saajan Chale Sasural - With Jack Gau(r)d as Jack... Boxer

Veergati - With Jack Gaud as Jack Gulati

His Convict Bride - With Jack Gavin as Jack Warren

"A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes: The Annette Funicello Story" - With Jack Gilardi as Jack Gilardi... also featuring Jack Gilardi Jr. as Jack Gilardi Jr.  But also with Rob Stewart as Jack Gilardi, and with Austin Basile as Jack Gilardi Jr.!! What GIVES, Hollywood?  How many layers must there be to this story?!!!!

"Come on #MakeItHappy" - With Jack Gilinsky as Jack Gilinsky

A Sort of Homecoming - With Jack Gill as Jack... Breakout Session Debater

Devil's Backbone, Texas - With Jack Glover as Himself................................ Jack

Hollywood Party - With Jack Good as Professor Jack Good... Tap Dancer

"The Frank Sinatra Show" "Episode #1.17" - With Jack Good as Jack Goode

Book of Blues - With Jack Graham as Jack Kerouac

EMO the Musical - With Jack Green as Jack... the Dangerous Kid

Record Party - With Jackie Green as Jackie Green... Mimic (himself)

Three Strikes - With Jack Greenhough as Jack Grey... and to a lesser extent, with Duncan Woodhouse as Jacks [sic] Dad

The Beast of the City - With Jack Grey as Jack... Detective (uncredited)

The Kingdom of Human Hearts - With Jack Grey as Jack Sheldon

"Nickelodeon's Not So Valentine's Special" - With Jack Griffo as Jack Griffo

Frontier Gunlaw - With Jack Guthrie as Musician Jack Guthrie

"Law & Order" "Navy Blues" - With Jack Gwaltney as Jack Young

Vacation in Reno - With Jack Haley as Jack Carroll

George White's Scandals - With Jack Haley as Jack Evans

Ali Baba Goes to Town - With Jack Haley as Jack Haley... at Fictional Premiere

Follow Thru - With Jack Haley as Jack Martin

Take It Big - With Jack Haley as Jack North

Moon Over Miami - With Jack Haley as Jack O'Hara

"They Shoot Movies, Don't They? ...The Making of 'Mirage'" - With Jack Hamblin as Jack Vedder

Tales from the Other Side - With Jack Hammersley as Jack... the Killer

"A Single Life" - With Jack Hansen as Baby Jack

"Sergeant Preston of the Yukon" "Blind Justice" - With Jack Harris as Jack Daniels

Two Hearts in Harmony - With Jack Harris as Jack Harris and His Café de Paris Band

La Vida Blanca - With Jack Hartnett as Jack Donovan

"Out of the Unknown" "This Body is Mine" - With Jack Hedley as Jack Gregory

Land of the Lawless - With Jack Hendricks as Jack Henchman.... I mean, as Jack... Henchman (uncredited)

Trailing Danger - With Jack Hendricks as Jack Henchman.... I mean, as Jack... Henchman (uncredited)

The Law Rides - With Jack Hendricks as Jack... Lyncher (uncredited).  Also featuring Norman Neilsen as Jack Lewis... Prospector

Step on It - With Jack Hendricks as Truck Driver Jack

Terror of the Plains - With Jack Hendricks as Deputy Jack (uncredited)

Young Dynamite - With Jack Hendricks as Trooper Jack (uncredited)

The Tip-Off - With Jack Herrick as Jack... Kayo's Sparring Partner (uncredited)

The Lost Battalion - With Jack Hershkowitz as Private Jack Hershkowitz (himself)

When the Devil Was Well - With Jack Hobbs as Jack Lawson

All That Glitters - With Jack Hobbs as Jack Tolley

Tricks of the Trade - With Jack Hoffman as Jack Foster

Runaway Bride - With Jack Hoffman as Reporter Jack

"Bat Masterson" "The Black Pearls" - With Jack Hogan as Jack... Henchman

The Cat Burglar - With Jack Hogan as Jack Coley

"Sierra" - With Jack Hogan as Chief Ranger Jack Moore (12 episodes)

"The Brian Keith Show" "Doctor Take Five" - With Jack Hogan as Jack Stanley

Dirigible - With Jack Holt as Jack Bradon

San Francisco - With Jack Holt as Jack Burley

Submarine - With Jack Holt as Jack Dorgan

Avalanche - With Jack Holt as Jack Dunton... also with Dick Winslow as Jack Dunton... age 12

Behind the Mask - With Jack Holt as Jack Hart... AKA Quinn

The Life Line - With Jack Holt as Jack Hearne... the Romany Rye

Holt of the Secret Service - With Jack Holt as Jack Holt / Nick Farrell... hmm!  Wonder who else was up for the part

Trail of Robin Hood - With Jack Holt as Jack Holt... himself, arguably

The Border Legion - With Jack Holt as Jack Kells

The Great Swindle - With Jack Holt as Ronald Reagan Jack Regan

Sunset Pass - With Jack Holt playing a character with, arguably, the GREATEST CHARACTER NAME OF ALL TIME ... sorry about shouting so much, but really, isn't this the kind of thing that one should be shouting about from time to time?  Because Jack Holt, as you can see from the list, has played a lot of characters named Jack, but here, in Sunset Pass, he plays a character with... and I can't stress this enough, with debatably the most terrific, memorable, dare I say, ULTIMATE FICTIONAL CHARACTER NAME OF ALL TIME, and that name is, in case you haven't looked it up yourself already... JACK ROCK.  ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Mask (1921) - With Jack Holt as Kenneth Traynor / HANDSOME JACK

Her Better Self - With Jack Holt as Jack Trevor

Star Spangled Rhythm - With Jack Hope as Jack Hope (uncredited)

A Dog-Gone Baron - With Jack Hopkins as Jack... Madge's Sweetheart

Wives - With Jack Hopkins as Jack Dallas (unconfirmed)

What Have We Done(?) - With Jack Howard as Jack Howard

Hello, 'Frisco - With Jack Hoxie as Jack Hoxie... Himself

Daring Chances - With Jack Hoxie as Jack Armstrong

Don Dare Devil - With Jack Hoxie as Jack Bannister

Men of Daring - With Jack Hoxie as Jack Benton... sensing a trend here

Cyclone Bliss - With Jack Hoxie as Jack Bliss... also featuring Fred Kohler as Jack Hall

The Fighting Three - With Jack Hoxie as Jack Conway

Ridin' Thunder - With Jack Hoxie as Jack Douglas

Heroes of the Wild - With Jack Hoxie as Jack Hale

Barb Wire - With Jack Hoxie as Jack Harding

The Desert's Crucible - With Jack Hoxie as Jack Hardy Jr. / Deerfoot

The Desert Bridegroom - With Jack Hoxie as Jack Harkins

The Sign of the Cactus - With Jack Hoxie as Jack Hayes... and with Robert (Bobby) Gordon as Jack... as a Boy

The Western Whirlwind - With Jack Hoxie as Jack Howard

Red Hot Leather -  With Jack Hoxie as Jack Lane... also featuring Scout the Horse as Jack's Horse, and Bunk the Dog as Jack's Dog

A Six Shootin' Romance - With Jack Hoxie as 'Lightning' Jack

The Marshal of Moneymint - With Jack Hoxie as Jack Logan

The White Outlaw - With Jack Hoxie as Jack Lupton... also featuring Rex the Dog as Jack's Dog

Riders of the Law - With Jack Hoxie as Jack Meadows

The Forbidden Trail - With Jack Hoxie as Jack Merriwell / Col. Jim Merriwell

Outlaw Justice - With Jack Hoxie as Panamint Jack... also featuring Dynamite the (Wonder) Horse as Dynamite... Jack's Horse

Looking for Trouble - With Jack Hoxie as Jack William Pepper

Bustin' Thru - With Jack Hoxie as Jack Savage

Dead or Alive - With Jack Hoxie as Jack Stokes

Desert Rider - With Jack Hoxie as Jack Sutherland

The Wild Horse Stampede - With Jack Hoxie as Jack Tanner... also featuring William Steele as Charlie Chaplin Champion

Gold - With Jack Hoxie as Jack Tarrant.  Also featuring Dynamite the Horse as Dynamite... Jack's New Horse

Two-Fisted Jones - With Jack Hoxie as Jack Wilbur

The Camels are Coming - With Jack Hulbert as Jack Campbell

Falling for You - With Jack Hulbert as Jack Hazeldon

Under Your Hat - With Jack Hulbert as Jack Millett

Alias Bulldog Drummond - With Jack Hulbert as Jack Pennington

Jack Ahoy - With Jack Hulbert as Jack Ponsonby

Jack of All Trades - With Jack Hulbert as Jack Warrender

"Hillbilly Brothas" - With Jack Huntington as Jack Billy (2 episodes)

"Skool'd" - With Jack Hussar as Jack Nozak

"All Star Bowling Trick Shots" - With Jack Huston as Jack Huston

"Bloopy's Buddies" - With Jack Hyman as Jumpin' Jack

Wolves of the Range - With Jack Ingram as Henchman Jack Hammond

Son of the Renegade - With Jack Ingram as Three-Fingers Jack

"Pearl Jam: Do the Evolution" - With Jack Irons as Jack Irons

Around the World - With Jack as... Jack!  Of Jack and Mac fame, that is.  Also featuring... Mac.

The Wild Frontier - With Black Jack as Rocky's Horse... Black Jack

Happy Gilmore - With Fat Jack as Jack Beard

Coffee & Donuts - With Krazy Jack as Crazy Jack

"Jovens Tardes" - With L. S. Jack as LS Jack

One-Eyed Jack - With One-Eyed Jack as One-Eyed Jack

"KISSology: The Ultimate KISS Collection Vol. 3 1992-2000" - With J. J. Jackson as J. J. Jackson
(archive footage)

Behave Yourself - With Jack Jackson as Mr. Jack Jackson

The Thief - With Jack Jarman as Sean Jack Spicer

Syncopation - With Jack Jenney as Jack Jenny

When the Bullet Hits the Bone - With Jack Jessop as Jack Davies Sr.

Cass - With Jock as Jock the Bulldog

Kin to Kith - With Jack Johnson as Grandpa Jack

Sitter - With Jack Justice as Jack Dalton

...whew!  Wotta long month.  Well, even though I almost didn't get to it, I'd be remiss at best and criminally negligent at worst if I didn't include, if only as a codicil...

The Shining - With Jack Nicholson as Jack Torrance

Batman - With Jack Nicholson as Joker / Jack Napier