Monday, March 26, 2018

A Plot and Its Dog

Tis been a while since I blurted out a review, if memory serves!  Now, as you might imagine, I'm such a perfectionist.  See, what I really wanted to do was go back over the following movie with a fine-tooth comb and get all the details, re-digest them and what not... and if I was really good, I wood... would.  But time is finite, and resources are even more finite-er... so let's just call the whole thing off completely.
But I'll make a few musings about a little movie called Bullet Head.  LAST SEEN ON: Netflix.  Brought to you by Netflix. (TM) (R).  Netflix!  It's like walking through a video store and going "No... No... No... No..." but without leaving your couch!  Now, I know what you're going to post.  You're going to post: "Bullet Head is Movie I like very much please for to visiting MY movie site Turd Tuna dot com.  Turd Tuna is at for having One Stop ShØpping for movies that are being better than what's talked about here.  Sorry, but Ür know it's true Purple Monkey Dishwasher."
Okay, back to the instant case.  First off: kudos for the up-front irony.  Even though the movie's called Bullet Head, there are very few shots fired in the movie proper, and none of them seem to go into anyone's head.  Reminds me: on the last episode of "Gotham," SPOILER ALERTS it looks a lot like Sofia Coppola Falcone gets shot in the head.  We see her head, we see a red splotch of blood in the middle of her forehead.  Next scene: someone... probably Commissioner Gordon, asks "And Falcone?"  Someone else says "She's in a coma."  Now... oh, skip it.  Okay, back to Bullet Head.
Ooh!  There's also what's that fella's name... Walter Hill, that's it.  Turbo-manly Walter Hill's 2012 feature called Bullet to the Head, whose big finale revolves around a mano-a-mano axe fight.  An attempt to piggy back on Stallone's silver screen resurgence, and also to push the limits of digital video as a replacement of film.  Looked pretty good!  The axe didn't seem to streak at all.  That's my big pet peeve with digital video.  I can't even remember if Bullet to the Head lives up to the title... I guess that's how good it is or something.  So maybe there's irony built into the genre.

---

As with Westerns, I like to imagine that there's some sort of big computing machine in the sky that grinds out these crime stories, making sure that they're absolutely original in at least one way.  Something above the copyright lawyers involved with this process, even though they gave it the go-ahead.  In the case of Bullet Head, the original aspects seem to be in the structure of the plot itself.  Oh, and this plot is nothing if not structured.  SPOILER ALERT - Bullet Head's plot structure involves a small-time robbery, but it revolves around dogs.  More specifically, fighting dogs... I'm guessing an underground dog fighting ring of some sort.  In fact, the filmmakers try to satisfy the audience's bloodlust for ASPCA-unapproved violence by tastefully showing a few tryouts for the illegal dog-fighting ring.  The camera hovers just above the arena, and we're treated to an audio feast of various crunching noises and canine whimpers.  I believe we only see a few flying spatters of blood or two.  I mean... the storytellers aren't total monsters, for God's sake!
Now, I hate to say the characters are clichés, or that they're straight from Central Casting or something like that, because they did get some big-time A-listers for these clichés that seem to come right out of Central Casting.  John Malkovich plays the oldest and wisest of the trio of thieves, spouting hard-earned wisdom of a man who's seen it all, and warns the other two about the pitfalls of doing that proverbial one last job before retirement.  Rory Culkin bears the heaviest dramatic burden of all, upon which the entire reputation of the entire Culkin family seems to rest, playing a junkie loser... or is it loser junkie?  Anyway, Rory's agent issued a statement saying that Rory and the whole Culkin family were grateful for the chance at this Oscar-ish role to stretch his acting chops.
And finally, we have Oscar winner Adrien Brody, stuck in the middle of these two, age-wise and probably in other ways as well.  In fact, Adrien's character has a masterful-type sequence revolving around a piano, which you might remember is what his Oscar-winning role was roughly about.  But the screenwriters were prepared in case Brody was unavailable.  My inside-the-beltway sources tell me there was a version of the script where Pauly Shore ends up outwitting the dog in a room full of sexy mannequins... something like that.  Maybe it was William Ragsdale, I don't know.
But let's not forget our fourth, and arguably main, character: the dog.  If memory serves, we start the movie from the dog's point of view.  In fact, the dog's story is interwoven throughout the whole movie.  As with any really good movie, there's inevitably a character who everyone thinks is dead.  That's been a standard element ever since the original Diabolique... sorry, Spoiler Alert.  The dog in question was supposed to be killed after one big fight that went wrong, or went right, something.  The point is, the higher ups in charge of the illegal dog fighting ring ordered the dog dead.  Spoiler Alert: the dog survived, and is still wandering the halls of the warehouse where the illegal dog fights are held.
And as with any good story slash One Act play, the trio of criminals ends up at the same warehouse.  Eventually, they stumble upon the dog, and it's all they can do to keep a locked door between them and this dog that's hungry for Kibbles and Revenge.  Incidentally, speaking of Plot Structure (TM) (R), every human in the story has a big, Oscar-worthy story about a dog, which they tell.  They even get a flashback to it.  There's even a scene where they're watching themselves in the flashback as they tell the story, which there's probably historical cinematic precedent for... don't they have that in Annie Hall a little bit?  Are we still allowed to talk about Annie Hall?
Now, speaking of plot structure, there's something called a plot "device", or a plot "hole."  That's where the plot starts to stretch that fragile thing called credulity.  Yes, unfortunately, even in the most fantastical sci-fi epic, credulity is still necessary.  That's right... people want a realistic down-to-earth show that's completely off the wall and swarming with magic robots.  Also, you should win things by watching.  In the instant case of Bullet Head, well... there were two big plot holes that I found slash had trouble with.  First... sorry, SPOILER ALERT... First plot hole: the cops drive by the warehouse where the criminals and the mad dog are holed up.  They see the getaway car... they do see it, don't they?  Well, the criminals certainly don't hope so!  I mean, they're just one level above.  All they have to do is look down and see a car that might be used in a getaway!  In fact, if memory serves, they even get out of their car, look around, see this getaway car, and decide what to do.  They might even know that a big robbery just took place, and the criminals might still be in the area.  If memory serves... I'll try to stop using that phrase, sorry... I seem to recall that we don't even see this robbery take place, but everyone involved seems to be acting like it.  Note to self: write a story about criminals who pretend to have committed a crime.
Next scene: the cops get in their car, call home and tell the dispatcher that everything looks good, and drive off.  The day is saved, and we're free to hear the next touching, Oscar-type story about one of the other characters and how a dog touched their life in a way they will take to their graves, and or bore their grandkids to death about.  SECOND plot hole: I almost forgot about it.  The trio of criminals whom we staked the next hour and a half of our lives upon, stumble across a secret room.  Porn enthusiasts will have their ears perk up as to how this room is found.  Anyway, they go into this hidden room, and find a big bag full of money.  I'm assumpting it was in a bag, or maybe a suitcase or, in a pinch, a hastily assembled banker's box.  The criminals deduce that this is "the day's take" from one of the illegal dog fighting rings that would surely explain that mean-ass dog trying to bite their collective asses.  Now, here's the thing... here's the problem I had / have/ continue to have with that.  If this society's taught me anything about money in my 45 or so years on this planet, in this greatest country in the world the mortals have deemed to call America... THAT MONEY WOULDN'T BE THERE AT ALL.  I believe it was Malkovich's wise old character that did the calculations and determined that this money made off the illegal dog fighting was more than what they just stole!  And now they have it!  My problem with that is that, one would think, in an illegal, cash-besotted enterprise as this, your priority would be first to GET THE MONEY INTO THE HANDS OF THE MOBSTER(S) INVOLVED FIRST, then kill the dogs second.  And third, you would have these illegal dog fights at DIFFERENT locations.  They seemed to imply that this one warehouse was Illegal Dog Fight Central.  Bad idea.  Did not the screenwriters learn anything from that one "Seinfeld" episode where George goes back to where the club was with all the supermodels which now stands empty?  ...no, not "The Diplomat's Club."  Something else.  Damn!  Wouldn't that be ironic if I try to find that episode, only to find an empty space where it once was?
So those were two of the more gaping plot holes I had trouble with.  There's all kinds of other stuff that might be worthy for a film class.  For instance, the Antonio Banderas character.  Spoiler alert: he finds the now killer dog as a puppy on the street.  They show this!  For our benefit!  Of course, Banderas looks like he hadn't aged a day, at least in terms of this particular story.  They wanted to get Dougray Scott to play a younger Banderas, or maybe one of Banderas' kids.  They even went so far as to give Banderas' character a Spanish-themed dog story that changed his life significantly in some way.  Now originally it was going to be a role for Jet Li... or one of the other members of The Expendables.  Oh, they were thinking globally with this thing, people!  Don't kid yourselves.  Gotta do that these days.
Also, one of the characters has a girlfriend and or ex-wife.  I think it's Brody's character; another reason he's the middle character of his trio.  To say she's only there to service the plot is probably an understatement.
In conclusion, I have at least one last point to cover.  So, in the pantheon of dog movies, The Movie Hooligan, what did Bullet Head most remind you of?  Well, clearly we're not dealing with the light side of the Dog Movie Rainbow, your Old Yellers, your Lassies or Benji's, what have you.  No, this is more of the Cujo side of things.  But I also was reminded of that old David Mickey Evans classic-ish type movie called The Sandlot.  There was a dog in that, right?  In fact, SPOILER ALERT, it was a menacing dog that eventually bonded with the group, much like in Bullet Head.  MORE SPOILERS: I was also reminded of Minority Report, specifically the big scene where the spiders discover that, yes, Tom Cruise really is in the tub.  Brody's hiding in the piano, and the dog can't find him.  A tiny bead of sweat falls off Brody's brow, through the piano, and onto the warehouse floor.  The dog stops.  Brody wonders what's going on, and then... BOOM!  The dog's on his case anew.  But really, whether you want to pigeonhole this as a dog movie or as a caper movie... let's just say it's of its time.  A time where movies are trying so hard to be clever, original, unforgettable... but just in unusually wrong ways.

**
-so sayeth The Movie Hooligan

Sunday, March 25, 2018

Auteur Watch - Crystal Griffith

...hmm!  This name sounds familiar.  Anyway, at least Crystal tried out a few other crafts before settling on directing.  Sure, it was just the one title and all, but you know what?  It did so well, that she was able to take time off to start a family!  ...of course, families cost money, especially when you live in Hollywood.  So eight years or so later, back to the day job of... "Camera and Electrical Department."  Oh, but not just any gig, mind you... um, a little show called "American Experience" ring a bell?  Well, it should!  30 seasons and still going strong!  You know, just like "The Simpsons"... no?  Just me?  Okay.  I'll admit it... here's a confession for you.  Probably not worthy of that Facebook group to which I belong about "Cinema" confessions.  Something for the TV splinter group... I only own about 13 seasons of "The Simpsons" on DVD.  There.  I said it.  But I do have a couple seasons on DVD-R that I burned myself!  I quit that hobby after 2008... can't remember why, though.
...oh, right!  One last thought about Crystal.  Apparently, her work on "American Experience" was either so successful or so traumatic... don't they usually go hand in hand, don't you find?... the category she's in now, at least on her IMDb page, is under something called... "Thanks."  Alas, the trail goes cold after 2012, but who knows?  Maybe there was good money in getting "Special Thanks."

Game of Thornes

Yes, as one of the Google headlines declared, Black Panther has been dethroned at the Box Office this week.  Still... 630.9 million domestic?  It's still #1 in terms of that!  No, the newbie this week is the long awaited and much advertized sequel to Pacific Rim, and it's called Pacific Rim: Uprising.  Still ashamed of Roman numerals, the sequels continue to use subtitles unabated.  I don't know if anyone returns from the first one... besides Mako Mori, that is... but it does look like this John Boyega fella gets to do something extra other than a new Star Wars movie during his down time.  That's usually where the real big money is, because Star Wars is, of course, a labour of love (small money).
Meanwhile, back at the Hollywood lab, those they thought would be surefire hits are already outta here.  Namely, Red Sparrow and Die Hard's new Death Wish reboot.  I can see it now in Costco, shrink-wrapped: the new "Death Wish."  Now with less rape!  No, this isn't your usual box office blowout - look at all these newbies popping up!  Those studio geniuses that thought animated garden gnomes would be a good idea have brought us something called Sherlock Gnomes.  You might have clicked on the 'X' when the Flash ad for it came up on the IMDb.  Ah, Flash... what are we going to do without Flash?  You're telling me it can't be rebooted?  I don't wanna go cold turkey on this!  How am I supposed to cobble something together using an uneasy combination of HTML5 and JavaScript?  It ain't fittin'!  Oh well; maybe the Blender 3-D plugin will make a comeback.
Our third debut this week is more Christ-ploitation called Paul, Apostle of Christ.  Now that James Caviezel isn't doing "Person of Interest" anymore, it'll give him a chance to get back to his Passion of the Christ roots... sort of.  Clearly, turnout's not as big this time.
And finally, there's Midnight Sun, which is about a 17 year old girl who suffers from a condition that prevents her from being out in the sunlight.  It's called being Irish, and... what?  Conan O'Brien told me that joke!  Okay, okay... she's a vampire, all right?  Sorry... <<Twilight Saga
 prequel apparently.  And, as you can see, it's a day job for a guy you think wouldn't have to work a day in his life, but does anyway, and his name is Patrick Schwarzenegger.  Hmm!  Wonder who he's related to?  Now, is he Maria Shriver's kid, or is he part of that secret other family we just found out about a while ago?  Sorry, that was probably too mean, but trust me.  When it comes to any present and future social media beefs between Ah-nold and our current president... I'm with Ah-nold.  (hashtag-worthy?  Someone else do it then.)  But Patrick's publicist did put out a statement saying he's just happy not to be in a Happy Madison production this time.  Even if it did debut at #10, which cleah-lee makes him a girly-man!!!  ...yup, just checked.  Happy Madison-free.  I'm proud of you, Pat.  Still, it depresses me to see this fresh new wave of Nepotism sweep over Hollywood.  You got Scott Eastwood, you got Patrick Schwarzenegger.  At least Kate Bosworth isn't the Boz's kid, know what I mean??  And at least HE's not ashamed of Roman numerals!  Even if it is a giant piece of crap.  I gotta go....

Sunday, March 18, 2018

Auteur Watch - C. A. Griffith

Be careful when you search for his or hers... their name on my beloved IMDb.  Don't put spaces in between his her their pretentious first initials like I did.  Do it like this: C.A. Griffith, not C. A. Griffith.  Welp, long story short, having gotten a taste of fictional stories like with Del Otro Lado, it was time to move on to the more non-fictional realm of the documentary.

Boggling the Mind

And another 18th of the month has come and gone.  Only about 13 more years of this, unfortunately!  See, once you get to 2032 and beyond, well... you just can't do that anymore!  You just can't do it!  I mean, you just can't!  In the year 2032, you can't say "Well, it's March 32nd, 2032!  The only one there will ever be in the history of this Earth as we know it..."  But maybe the Republican-controlled Congress will get on that.  They're taking up Daylight Saving, after all, and not just on "Veep".
Anyway, on to the real news.  Never mind the high-profile White House firings, that's for others... but I will say that one of the headlines is that Republicans are warning Trump not to fire Mueller, the Special Counsel in charge of the Russia investigation... I put in that little extra in case I reread this five years from now, and not know who the hell I was typing about.  Could happen!  Doesn't seem like it now.  But that's one difference from the Nixon era: his fellow Republicans had no idea that Nixon was going to do so much high-profile firing.  It was a bridge too far for most of them.  Nowadays they just give warnings.  Speaking of nostalgia, the latest incarnation of Tomb Raider came in at #2 this weekend.  Apparently it was old news and old hat; people still want to see Black Panther, as it happens.  No one cares about a 20-something year-old video game.  Then of course there's all those who prefer the Angelina Jolie version.  No national outlet for them to be outraged, apparently.
At #3, it's the latest triumph for Christian cinema, not involving Mel Gibson.  It's a movie called I Can Only Imagine, and from what I can tell from the plot description, it's a movie about a chart-topping song by a group called MercyMe.  I guess it's doing so well that, unlike films like Jersey Boys and Ray, they went ahead and did a movie about one song.  Or even Beyond the Sea, but we're probably not supposed to mention that one ever again.  Those were movies about a person's or a group's whole body of work, not just one song.  And besides... I thought the deal with Jesus was that you have to accept him as your savior, either professional or personal... probably both.  You're not supposed to imagine what it would be like!  You're just supposed to DO it!  Imagining is for heathens, like those fallen Big Idea types who make evil moving pictures about talking vegetables.
At #5, it's something called Love, Simon based on a novel called "Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda."  Where's the risk?  Why do movies corrupt certain novels like that?  Take these two Steve Carell movies.  One's called Seeking a Friend for the End of the World.  It's on Netflix (TM) (R) currently, I believe.  The other is called Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.  Now, I'm pretty sure the average American moviegoer went up to that ticket booth and said "Four for 'Alexander', please!"  Or did I miss the ad campaign?  Did they have some type of deal where you say the whole title to the ticket giver, and it's half off the admission price?  The point being, those are two long-ass titles, man!  Okay, the Seeking a Friend one's apparently not based on a book... (cough - Omega Man) ...but they kept the title long!  Where's the risk taking?  Sigh.  I will admit that the Simon they got is dreamy enough... I guess.  I just couldn't sit through the trailers they ran during "The Daily Show."  Ooh!  Which reminds me.  Before I go, one request... Trevor Noah cameo in the Black Panther sequel?  Is that asking so much?

Sunday, March 11, 2018

Auteur Watch - Eddie Griffin

Like I need to tell you, when you're a celebrity like Eddie Griffin, mere film or TV directing just will not do.  A guy like that's gotta do it all, especially "Soundtrack" stuff.  He'd probably prefer to be in the music business, but whatever.  Two of his IMDb Top 4 involve him as a comedian, which is all right with him.  The third is, of course, the iconic Undercover Brother.  Which is okay, but he'd rather probably be known for more bad-ass fare like Double Take.  But he's still got skin in the game, playing "Pastor" in the new A Star is Born reboot.  Lady Gaga's in it, but she's probably not interested... yet!  Hope springs eternal.  I suggest opening with your old genealogical question: "Got any black in you?" then waiting a beat, and follow up with the follow-up question "Want some?"  What fellow big-time celebrity wouldn't be impressed by that?

One With the Ladies

And so, how did the massive ad campaign for Disney's A Wrinkle in Time pan out?... Ouch.  As the numbers tell us, Black Panther is still #1.  But Spielberg's Ready Player One is hoping to change that next weekend!  He seemed a little depressed at the Oscars (TM) last weekend.  But if Ready Player One does good enough, they'll let him hand out an Oscar next year, maybe.  But back to A Wrinkle in Time.  Even though it didn't beat Black Panther, I think everyone involved will probably get to work again.  Director Ava DuVernay, for example, is... WHAT?!!! ARE YOU NUTS??!!!!  Her next project is a TV Movie.  ARE YOU INSANE?!?!!!!!????!!!  You've just conquered the silver screen, girlfriend!  And now you're going to throw it all away!  On a TV movie about the battle of Versailles, no less!  Tentatively titled "Battle of Versailles."  ...oh!  Just read the plot description.  Sounds a little more like Battle of the Sexes than a war epic about... about World War I.  The least obscure battle to come up on Wikipedia.  Man, oh for two today!  But the main thing to remember is DuVernay's next project is about 1) the Beautiful People, and 2) the 1970s.  Oh, if only these two subjects would ever get the respect they deserve, from Hollywood in general and from the world in particular.
...ooh!  Did you notice?  They finally fixed the underlining problem that was plaguing the internet up until now.  For you see, up until now, in the whole history of the Internets, that series of tubes we all continually rely upon for everything from automated control of our public infrastructure to the Huffington Post's Pulitzer-Prize-worthy sideboob pics, when you had the dangling lowercase letters, they had to fight with the underline.  Well, not anymore.  As David Letterman would say, before he had his award-worthy Netflix show, made in small batches by contented artisans, you've got your 'g' (ding), you got your 'j' (ding), you got your klmno (loud, annoying buzz)... 'p' (ding)  You got your 'q' (ding), rstuvwx (loud annoying buzz), and finally, you got your "y" (ding).  None of the uppercase letters has this problem.  But hey!  What about the special characters like that douche-y "|" vertical line thing?  (ding)  Well, this must've been some kind of internal font fix or something, but whoever did it is going to make a "million damn dollars," again as Letterman used to say.  Seriously, he would really run certain phrases into the ground.  Say, how much do you weigh?  And what do you think of your old buddy Clinton there?  Okay, underline off.  Ooh, can't wait to see how that looks!
At #3 this week, our second debut is the latest horror movie, and it's called The Strangers: Prey at Night... Tyler Perry isn't involved in this, is he?  He's got "The Family that Preys," as you all know.  You notice that he hasn't presented on the Oscars (TM) lately.  Well, he hasn't been allowed back ever since he quipped, in Woody Allen-style fashion, that that was as probably as close as he'd ever get to one.  And he cast Oscar(TM) winner Kathy Bates in one of his projects, for God's sake!  Oh, Oscar can be so cruel.  Anyway, so that was the second debut... meanwhile, whatever on Earth happened to that one movie?  One of Anton Yelchin's last, all over the IMDb the last few weeks... Thoroughbreds, that's it!  That was supposed to clean up this weekend!  What happened?  Well, we'll never know through the IMDb, thanks to their cutting off of the budget information.  Guess they got too many complaints.  Also, arguably they do have to try and cure film enthusiasts of their "budget fetishism," to coin a phrase.  I was part of the movement myself, I'll confess.  I mean, for a while there I just wouldn't see a movie that cost less than 300 million dollars.  But if it had "Transformers" in the title, sure, I'd skip those as well.
And the final debut this week is Rob Cohen's latest non-Vin Diesel-related megabomb, and it's called The Hurricane Heist.  Boy!  And I thought reading the Trivia page of Stealth was bad.  This one's going to be way, way worse.

Monday, March 05, 2018

Auteur Watch - Rashaad Ernesto Green

...oh, right!  Guess I should say / blog something about him.  Well, he seems to be well on his way to mainstream success, but he's got a long way to go before getting to David Gordon Green levels.  Also, given his model-ish looks he might want to consider acting fulltime instead of spreading his energy around to so many other side interests!  I mean, look at all these categories you can jump to: director, actor, producer, writer, editor... catering.  Always like to throw that one in.  Someday it'll be its own category as it deserves to be, as soon as Taylor Hackford has moved on to the big director's chair in the sky.
But it looks like TV directing is the way to go, and Rashaad has taken it.  I've actually heard of some of those shows!  We've got "Grimm" and... something else.  Jim Kouf got tired of writing about cops, and decided to move onto more ratings-friendly fare.  So there's "Grimm" and "The Vampire Diaries."  See, the nice thing about directing TV shows is that the titles are kinda grandfathered in.  The writers take care of all that stuff.  Usually titles will be taken from the world of rock stars.  Take his episode of "Supernatural" called "Thin Lizzie", for example.  The boys are back in town, indeed!  Or how about "One Way or Another," which used to be a Blondie song, but now it's a critical episode of "The Vampire Diaries."  Incidentally, is it just me, or is that horrible Imagine Dragons song "Lightning and Thunder" kind of a structural ripoff of Blondie's "One Way or Another"?  The internet for now is still far too text-based to pick up on sh.. stuff like that.  But in Rashaad's pre-TV period, he had a pretty good handle on titles.  Gun Hill Road is a great one, The Can Collector has potential; depends on the film itself, of course.  But Showtime?  C'mon.  I mean, we've already got 2002's Showtime with Eddie Murphy and Robert De Niro.  And I believe there's a whole channel called that.
Oh, but I probably complain too much.  Keep up the good work!  Use your position for good, and for shepherding the next generation into the world of film directing.

Oscars(TM) So Deakins?

Never thought I'd see that!  The Susan Lucci of the ASC, Roger Deakins, has FINALLY won an Oscar(TM)!  But I think, unlike Susan Lucci, people will still give a sh... still care about the work that Deakins does, has done, will continue to do.  Maybe I'm being too glib here, but it seemed like the Oscars have gone black... now they're going back!  I mean, God bless Frances McDormand and all that, but what was the average age of some of the winners?  Guillermo del Toro is 54, Deakins is almost 70, James Ivory is... older than Christopher Plummer?  Plummer looks like he's taken a little better care of himself.  I'll bet he does yoga or something.  Meanwhile, Rod Lurie wasn't happy.  In Facebookland, he posted something about a rapist winning an Oscar... but he didn't say which one.  I think he also declared the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements finished, something like that.  And maybe they are, but probably not.  Sorry, Rod, but your snappier snap judgments are a little too snappy sometimes.  Mira Sorvino and Ashley Judd aren't getting that much filmwork these days; they've got time to keep the momentum of these movements going.  And after all, this is Hollywood we're talking about!  It's about as rape-y a place as the Catholic church.  One of my customers didn't even watch the Oscars; too political, they said.  As for me, well... I guess it was no surprise that Gary Oldman would win... but I mean, really, isn't it the Oscar he should've gotten for Sid and Nancy?  Something like that?  Filmed by Deakins, incidentally!  It's all related; damn near incestuous, this business of film show.
But enough about the Oscars.  What about the Top 10 films this weekend?  We got Black Panther still going strong, Red Sparrow erasing the memory of Mother!, and we've got the new Death Wish.  As long as it's in the Top 10, I'll be curious about its director.  Turns out it's the Jew Bear himself, Eli Roth... that was his nickname in Inglourious Basterds, right?  ...forgive me, it's Sgt. Donny Donowitz, AKA "The Bear Jew."  I guess Jew Bear would be more like ... Harvey Fierstein, something like that.  ANYWAY... don't get me wrong, I'm happy for Roth and Bruce Willis and whoever else was involved... but really?  Plus, the character is now a surgeon, not an architect, so we can hope for some "Dexter"-like overtones, no?  He's a surgeon, right?  But alas, Eli's already hard at work defending his film, saying that it's "not pro-gun."  Well, the first one kinda was!  And I'm pretty sure Bruce Willis is, but he probably doesn't get any NRA money for his opinions.  I'll bet you one thing, though... I'm pretty sure there's no spraypainting of a naked bottom this time around.

Thursday, March 01, 2018

Short Reviews - March 2018

Well, I could go on with characters just named Frank forever, it seems, but it's probably time to move on to characters with last names.  A lot of those as well.  So let's get started and change some paradigms around here!


"Foyle's War" "The Funk Hole" - With Richard Hope as Frank Vaudrey

Fracchia Vs. Dracula - Con Romano Puppo come Frank...enstein

Fracture - With Cliff Curtis as Detective Frank...lin

Fractured Lies - With Brandon DeCardenas as Frank Lindel

Fragile Fish - With Frank Ellis Wells as Franky

Frame - With Frank (C.) Williams as Detective Harris

Frame - With Eric Riedmann as Frank

Frame of Mind - With David Dinkins as Seantor Franklin.  Also with... yeah, that's right!  MAYOR David Dinkins playing a Senator!  So clearly this is the more prestigious gig!  Also with Frank Gio as Johnny Loma; just another Goombah

Frame Up - With veteran of the Joe Dante Rolling Stock Company and a Generally Nutty Guy Otherwise Robert Picardo as Frank Govers.  Also with Frances Fisher as Jo Westlake.  Lighting Cameraman work by Francis Grumman.

Framed - With Frank Mills as Frank... the Waiter (uncredited)

Framed - With Paul Mantee as Frank

"Framed" - With Trevor Cooper as D. I. Frank Shrapnel (3 episodes... okay, technically ONE, but he does retain that great last name.  Must be Dutch/German/Austrian or something.  It's like an ice cream guy named Cone!)

Frames - With Roger Cardwell as Frank

Frames of Fear - With George Stover as Frank, Festering (segment eponymous)

Frames of Fear 2 (Fear Boogaloo) - With George Stover as Frank, Festering (segment "Wraparound")

Framing Frankie - With Anoucia Christina as Frankie Mendes

Francesca - With Debra Lopez as Frankie

"Francesco: Unintentional Wise Guy" - With Frank Massa as Frankie Cornuto (2 episodes)

Francis Goes to the Races - With Jesse White as Frank Damer........... also with Piper Laurie as Frances Travers.  Also with Molly as Francis the Talking Mule.  Also with Franklyn Farnum as Racetrack Spectator (uncredited).  Also with Chill Wills as Francis the Talking Mule (voice).  Music by Frank Skinner.  Why can't they ALL be this easy?!!!

Francis is a Lion - With Ryan Rehnborg as Frank

Franco Brocani - Cuore meccanico in corpo anonimo - Con Franco Brocani come Himself - Director.  Anche con Riccardo Reim come Himself - Actor / La creatura di Frankenstein / Clodio.  Anche con Franco Lecca come Himself - Director of Photography.  Anche con Bruno Corazzari come La creatura di Frankenstein (archive footage).  Mamma mia!

Franco: ese hombre - Con Francisco Franco como Himself.  También con Francisco Arenzana como (voice).  También con Francisco Largo Caballero como él mismo (tomas de archivo).  También con Francesc Macià como él mismo (tomas de archivo).  También con Franklin D(elano) Roosevelt como él mismo (tomas de archivo).

Frank 'N Beans - With Paul Pape as Frank... no one as Beans!!  I feel highly cheated.

Frank 'n' Stan - With Mishael Trestrail as Frank

"Frank 'N' Steve" - With Jonathan Canham as Frank (voice) (28 episodes)... and also Steve (voice) (28 episodes).  Is this guy the new Seth MacFarlane yet?

Frank - Med Fredrik Hiller som Frank

Frank - With Graham Fellows as Frank

Frank - With Steve Gelder as Frank O'Neill

Frank - With Jesse McDowell as Frank #1.  Also with Joseph Aniska as Frank #2.  Also with Tommy Bartlett as Frank #3.  Also with Charlie Plummer as Young Frank.  Co-written, co-directed, co-produced, co-edited, co-production-designed, co-sound-edited, colored, co-visual-effected, co-catered and also featuring as 'Anna's client #2 - bald guy' by Gian Franco Morini.  Also with production design and set decoration by Fernando Toscano.

Frank - With Darren Beaumont as Frank.  Also with Pat Dunn as Frank's Mother.  Also with visual effects by Nick Franco.

Frank - With Humphrey Waterhouse as Frank

Frank - With Kieran Hodgson as Frank

Frank - With Dillon Siedentopf as Frank

Frank - With Michael Fassbender as Frank... wow!  I've actually HEARD of this one!  Also with François Civil as Baraque, Tess Harper as Frank's Mom, Bruce McIntosh as Frank's Dad.  Crew: Robert Allsopp as Frank Head Modelmaker, Frank Hanna as digital compositor: Screen Scene, Frank Garcia as lighting technician, Frank Montoya as lighting technician, Elodie Demey as casting: France, Frank Moore as driver, and with Frank Sidebottom as dedicatee (as Chris Sievey... not ready yet to own his Frankness.  Maybe on the next show!  Frank 2: El-Frank-tric Boogaloo)

Frank - With Lee Thomson as Frank.  Also with Frank Ryan as The Doctor.

Frank - With Frank Aldridge as Frank (himself)

Frank - With Ross Brooks as Frank

Frank - With Ray Manahan as Frank.  Also with Trenton Tabor as Young Frank.

Frank - With Robert Harrison as Frank

Frank - With Dan Lauria as Frank

"Frank" - With Graham Bowe as Frank

"Frank" - With Robert Harrison as Frank.  Also with Alexander Baker as Young Frank.  Also with Joy McAvoy as Frank's Mother.

"Frank" - With James Chilli Chillingworth as Frank

Frank & Flo - With John Rutland as Frank

Frank & Jerry - With Benedict Hardie as Frank

Frank & Jesse - With Bill Paxton as Frank James

"The Frank & Judy Show" - With Charles Huddleston as Frank (as Charlie Huddleston)

"Frank & Lamar" - With Carl Foreman Jr. as Frank

Frank & Lola - With Johnny Acero as Frank

Frank & Lola - With Michael Shannon as Frank.  Also with Laine Rettmer as Françoise.  Property Master, Paris Unit: Frank Pitussi.  Foley mixer: Frank Rinella.  Stunts: Frank Trigg.  Chef Consultant: Frank Falcinelli.  Special Thanques: Frank Castronovo.

Frank & Mary - With David Holman as Frank

Frank & Suzie - With Jackie Liu as Frank

Frank & the Box - With Errich Petersen as Frank

"Frank Abagnale: Between Reality and Fiction" - With Frank (W.) Abagnale Jr. as Himself

Frank Advice - With Tom Segura as Frank

Frank and Ava - With Rico Simonini as Frank Sinatra.  Also with Luc Austin as Frank jr [sic].  Also with Dexter Cross as young Frank Sinatra.  Line Producer / Production Manager: Francesco Papa.

Frank and Barry - With Jake Millgard as Frank.  Also with Francisco Reyes as The Vampire.

Frank and Cindy - With Oliver Platt as Frank.  Also, incidentally, with Marc Maron as SOMEONE OTHER THAN HIMSELF.  Just sayin'.

"Frank and Ernie" - With John O'Creagh as Frank (4 episodes).  Also with Frank Mollica as Guard (1 episode).

Frank and Franklin - With Adam Harper as Frank... no one as Franklin, apparently.  Voice in Head?  Imaginary Best Friend?  Ghost only Frank can See?

"Frank and Jane" - With Stephen A. Chang as Frank Churchill (9 Episodes)

Frank and Kass - With Hidekun Hah as Frank

Frank and Marie - With John Cunningham as Frank

Frank and the Rabbit - With René Granado as Frank Bullseye

The Frank Anderson - With Richard Riehle as Frank Anderson.  Music by David Frank Long.

Frank Bishop's Wife - With Bruce Van Cott as Frank Bishop.  Also with Yarusha Jimenez as Frank Bishop's Wife (uncredited) and... UNCREDITED?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Frank BluE - With JayTee Thompson as Frank Blue / Lil Dirt.  Also with Joshua Russell as Frank Jr.

Frank Calls - With Adrian Espulso as Frank

"Frank Capra Jr. Remembers: Mr. Deeds Goes to Town" - With Frank Capra Jr. as ... himself

Frank Caruso P. I. - With Tim Halpin as Frank Caruso (P. I.)

Frank Comes Home - With Justin Possenti as Frank Capra.  Also with Kenneth Cuellar as Frankie Jr. Capra. (...that's the way THEY have it!  I'm just reporting what I see)  Special Thanks: Frank Capra III: The Return of Durant.

Frank DanCoolo: Paranormal Drug Dealer - With John Charles Meyer as Frank DanCoolo

Frank DeVol and His Orchestra - With Frank De Vol as Himself (as Frank DeVol)

Frank El Indomable - Mitt Federico Vega Leal como Frank

Frank Embree - With Skinner Myers as Frank Embree

Frank Fairfield - With Frank Fairfield as Frank Fairfield

"Frank Finds a Job" "Baking Bad" - With Jarred Shaffer as Frank Todd

Frank Finds Out - With Matt Nolan as Frank

Frank Flutie - With Josh Mitchell as Frank Flutie

Frank Gehry: An Architecture of Joy - With Frank Gehry as Himself (as Frank O. Gehry)

Frank Gehry: The Formative Years - With Frank Gehry as Himself (as Frank O. Gehry)

Frank Georges and the Truth - With Lucky Douglas as Frank Georges

"Frank Hardon: Life Coach" - With Curtis Eastwood as Frank Hardon (6 episodes)

Frank Hates You - With Michael Racanelli as Frank.  Also with Frank Sjodin as Cop 2.

Frank Holcomb: The H. R. Rep - With Chad Mitchell as Frank Holcomb

"Frank Hurley: The Man Who Made History" - With John Noble as Frank Hurley (voice).  Also with Frank Hurley as Himself (archive footage).  Oh, this Frank Hurley, he's good... but he's not John Noble good!

"The Frank International Film Festival" - With Fred Armisen as Frank.  Also with Ron Lynch as Frank's Uncle, and Derek Waters as Frank's Brother.

"Frank Leaves for the Orient" - With Stan Cahill as Frank (6 episodes).  Also with Janet Carroll as Frank's Mom (2 episodes!!) and Richard Roat as Frank's Dad (1 episode).

"Frank McCuff: Police Force Vigilante" - With Alexander J. Diaz as Frank McCuff Jr.

Frank McKlusky, C. I. - With Dave Sheridan as Frank McKlusky (C. I.).  Also with Sawyer and Sullivan Sweeten as Young Frank.  Also with Franklin Hernandez as Pancho, and Frank Hudetz as Film Director (uncredited).  SECOND Second Assistant Director: Franklyn Gottbetter (actually got a lot worse).  Special Effects Technician: Johnny Franco III.  Extras casting: Central Casting: Franklyn Warren (as Franklin Warren).

Frank Mills - With Ryan Babbs as Frank Mills

"Frank Nitti: The Enforcer" - With Anthony LaPaglia as Frank Nitti.  Also with Frank Schuller.

Frank Norton - With Leopold Bauer as Frank Norton

"Frank Pappa Show" - With Heimo Holopainen as Frank Pappa (unknown episodes)

"Frank Pierre Presents: Pierre Resort & Casino" - With Ray Wise as Frank Pierre.  Produced by Franny Baldwin.  Cinematography by Frank 'Chainsaw' Barrera.

Frank Reaugh: Pastel Poet of the Texas Plains - With Robert Magruder as Frank Reaugh (voice)

"Frank Riva" - With Alain Delon as Frank Riva (6 episodes).  Also with François Vincentelli as Steve Buscemi Guy 'Guido' Buscema (6 episodes).  Also with Venantino Venantini as Francesco 'Francis' Melfi (4 episodes).  Also with Franklin Torres as Rojas (2 episodes).  Also with Francine Olivier as Mme. Kolescu (1 episode).  Also with Francis Frappat as Dr. Émile Strobe (1 episode).  Also with Angelo Aybar as Francisco Arau (1 episode).  Stunts by François Schetelat (2 episodes).

"The Frank Rosenthal Show" "Episode dated 22 August 1977" - With Frank 'Lefty' Rosenthal as Himself - Host (as Frank Rosenthal)... yes, THIS 'Lefty' Rosenthal

Frank Saves the Day - With Alex Endeshaw as Frank

"Frank Sidebottom's Fantastic Shed Show" - With Frank Sidebottom as Frank Sidebottom (7 Episodes)

"The Frank Sinatra Show" - With Frank Sinatra as Himself - Host (32 episodes).  Also with Jesse White as Frank's Manager (4 episodes... okay 3 as Frank's Manager, 1 as someone called "Marty Potter"... possibly Frank's Manager).  Also with Frank Albertson as Himself (1 episode).  Also with Frank Baker as Townsman (uncredited) (1 episode).  Also with Leon Lontoc as Leon... Frank's Servant (uncredited) (1 episode).  Sound by Frank Goodwin (10 episodes, 1957-1958).  Also with Dave White as Stand-In: Frank Sinatra (6 episodes, 1957-1958).

"Frank Solich Show" - With Frank Solich as Himself - Host (as Coach Frank Solich)... no wonder the show didn't last!  No crew!

"Frank Stubbs" - With Timothy Spall as Frank Stubbs (13 episodes)

Frank the Assassin - With Zack Sztanyo as Frank the Assassin

Frank the Assassin Goes on a Date - With Zack Sztanyo as Frank the Assassin

Frank the Bastard - With Andy Comeau as Frank.  Hair Department head: ......... Frank the Bastard.  For more information about Frank the Bastard, consult your local library.

"Frank the Entertainer in a Basement Affair" - With Frank Maresca as Himself (9 episodes).  Also with Jeremy Fernandez as Frank Jr. Kid (2 episodes).

Frank the Rat - With Kevin Hogan as Frank.  Also with Frank Senger as Joe, and P. J. Sosko as Young Frank.

Frank the Uber (TM)(C)(R) Driver - With Bryan Straka as Frank Stokes

The Frank Truth - With Michael Bate as Himself - FRANK Publisher and Editor.  Also with some others who clearly are not the head honcho here... Alan Martin as Himself - FRANK Employee, Steve Collins as Himself - FRANK Employee, Glen McGregor as Himself - Ex-FRANK Employee, Bruce MacDonald as Himself - FRANK Delivery Guy, Charles Jaffé as Himself - FRANK Cartoonist, Geoff Heinricks as Himself - Ex-FRANK Employee, Jeff Wells as Himself - FRANK Satirist, and Will McDowell as Himself - FRANK Legal Counsel.  For more information about Frank magazine, go to... I'm going to say CharlieHebdo.fr.

"Frank V. - Die Oper einer Privatbank" - Mit Hubert von Meyerinck als Frank V.  Auch mit Barbara Schöne als Franziska.

Frank vs. God - With Henry Ian Cusick as David Frank.  Also with Lauren O'Quinn as Candy Frank, Ricky Wayne as Billy Frank, Heather Natoli as Heather Frank (as Heather Dodson).  Also with Cameron Francis as Cop.

Frank Was a Monster Who Wanted to Dance - With Michael Dobson as Frank (voice) (as Michael R. Dobson).  Also with Chris Ainscough, Justin James, Tiffany Jones, Nick Lainas, Adrienne Pierce, Geoff Richardson, Mark Scott, Michelle Smith, Michael Stewart,
and Sam Vincent as "thanks: Lost Boys wishes to thank everyone who has generously donated their time, advice, energy and talent, 'Frank...' would not have been possible without you."

"Frank Zito's Night of Frights" - With Jake Robinson as Frank Zito

The Frank-Can-Stein Monster - With Brandon McEnturff as Frank-Can-Stein

Frank-Étienne vers la béatitude - Avec Gérard Depardieu son Frank-Étienne Boulard

"Frank, My Dad" - With Martin Sinicák as Frank

Frank! - With Michael Bates as Frank

Frank? - With Michael Loprete as Frank / New Improved Frank.  Written and directed by Frank H. Woodward.

Frank's 21st Birthday - With Peter Stoia as Frank

Frank's Angel - With Rod McCary as Frank

Frank's Ark - With Whett Wheetie as Frank

Frank's Christmas Carol Emporium - With Hal Rudnick as Frank

Frank's Dead - With Ted LeBlang as Frank Conner

"Frank's First Love" - With Daeg Faerch as Frank

Frank's First Movie - With Frank DiNicola as Frank, the Freshman.  Also directed, co-written, co-produced, co-edited and co-catered by Frank DiNicola... who does this guy think he is, John Sayles?  Or M. Night Shyamalan?

Frank's Fun Filled Friday Night - With Nick Allan as Frank

Frank's Inertia - With Rodrig Andrisan as Frank

Frank's Last Dance - With Jon Polito as Frank.  Co-produced and co-cinematographied by Francis Kenny.

Frank's Last Shot - With John Walpole as Frank       (as Trey Walpole)

Frank's Letter - With Matthew Saliba as Younger Frank Black.  Also with John Thomas as Older Frank Black.

"Frank's Place" - With Tim Reid as Frank Parrish (22 episodes).  Also with Francesca P. Roberts as Anna-May (22 episodes), and with Frances E. Williams as Miss Marie (22 episodes).

"Frank's Place" "The Bum Out Front" - Directed by Frank Bonner

"Frank's Place" "Disengaged" - With Carl Franklin as Father Phil

"Frank's Place" "Cultural Exchange" - With Francis Awe as African Group

"Frank's Place" "Night Business" - With William Frankfather as Father

"Frank's Place" "Dueling Voodoo" - With Armelia McQueen as Franny Nugent

Frank's Plight - With Michael David Marshall as Frank

Frank's Song - With Frank Wesley as Frank Wesley

"Franka: zhena Khama" - With Hanna Dunowska as Franka.  Also with Inna Alenikova as Franka's Mother.

Frankenbabe - With Robin Bain as Frankenbabe

Frankenbeans - With Stephen Sonneveld as Frankenbeans (voice)

Frankenberg - Mit Volkert Kraeft als Christian von Frankenberg (27 Episodes).  Auch mit Adele Landauer als Charlotte von Frankenberg (27 episodes).  Auch mit Natascha Bub als Lissy von Frankenberg (27 episodes).  Auch mit Fiona Molloy als Katharina von Frankenberg (27 Episodes).  Auch mit Ralf Komorr als Nick von Frankenberg (27 Episodes).  Auch mit Julian Hennek als Justus von Frankenberg (27 episodes).  Make-up von Francois Ettinger (unknown episodes) ... verdammt Französisch

Frankenchicken - With Michael R. Curtis as Igor / Frankenchicken / Ninjas (as Michael Curtis)

Frankenchicken - With Troy Planet as Frankenchicken / CAC Executive No. One (voice)

Frankendancer - Hold me closer, Frankendancer... I mean, with Thomas Callahan as Dr. Franklin

"Frankenheimer in Focus" - With John Frankenheimer as himself (archive footage).  Also with Evans Evans as Herself, John Frankenheimer's wife (as Evans Frankenheimer), Kristi Frankenheimer as Herself, John Frankenheimer's daughter, and Frank Mancuso, Jr. as Himself.  Sound recordist: Frank Zambetti.

Frankenhood - With Charlie Murphy as Franklin (as Charles Q. Murphy), and Bob Sapp as Frankie.  Music by Frankie Blue.

Frankenhooker - With David Lipman as Frankenhooker's Trick.  Directed and co-written by Frank Henenlotter, who also appears as Passenger (uncredited) and did some additional photography... which was probably catered by him.  Executive in Charge of Production: Frank K. Isaac.  Structural Carpenter: Frank Guglielmo.  Production Assistant: Frank D'Aurio Jr..

Frankenkinder - With Marla Dallman as Baby Frank

Frankenpants - With Hudson Jasper as Doctor Henry Von Frankenpants / Receptionist.  Also with Linnea Rainford as Sam Von Frankenpants.

"Frankenpenis" - With John Wayne Bobbitt as Frankenpenis.  Also with Veronica Brazil as Bride of Frankenpenis and Ron Jeremy as... oops.  You know, I try to avoid this sort of thing, believe it or not.  Even in this day and age.  But John Wayne Bobbitt was a big deal at one time.  I remember, because all the late night talk shows at the time went... let's just say they noticed the story.  Why, I believe even Billy Connolly said it's like... because his name is John Wayne, it's like you're, um... let's say, maiming the duke.  And... wait.  Did I see that correctly?  Ice-T is in this turkey?  Why... why is Ice-T in this turkey?  Nice, clean-cut Ice-T?  Oh well.  I don't understand it.  It's like he's trying to stay on the fringes of showbiz.  But even Sylvester Stallone and Sophia Loren started out in skin flicks, I guess.  Why not Ice as well.

Frankenpimp - With Danny Fisher as Dr. Frank N. Swine.  Special thanks: David J. Francis and ... really?  Frank MillerTHE Frank Miller?  As in Frank Miller Frank Miller?  Well, better this than a Merchant Ivory production, I guess.

And of course, the sequel: Frankenpimp's Revenge: The Romeo and Juliet Massacre - With Francesco De Francesco as Chico the Dockside John (as FRANKIE de Francesco).  Also co-directed by Francesco De Francesco.  Special thanks: Jesús Franco.

Frankenstein '80 - With Gordon Mitchell as Dr. Otto Frankenstein.  Also with Xiro Papas as Mosaic... the Frankenstein Monster.

Frankenstein (1910) - With Augustus Phillips as Frankenstein (uncredited)

Frankenstein (1931) - With Colin Clive as Henry Frankenstein, and with Frederick Kerr as Baron Frankenstein.  Also with Francis Ford as Hans (uncredited).  Screenplay by Francis Edward Faragoh.  Props by Franz Dallons (uncredited).  Electrical Effects Assistant: Frank Graves (uncredited).

Frankenstein (2011) - With Benedict Cumberbatch AND Jonny Lee Miller as The Creature / Victor Frankenstein.  Also with Haydon Downing as William Frankenstein (as Hayden Downing), Will Nye as William Frankenstein (as William Nye), Jared Richard as William Frankenstein, and George Harris as M. Frankenstein... oh, this was a stage production, so it might not count.  Oh well.

Frankenstein (2011) - With Lee Godwin as Victor Frankenstein.  Also with Kayla Elizabeth as Elizabeth Frankenstein, Chris Party as William Frankenstein (as Chris Wietrzykowski), and Haydon Downing as William Frankenstein.

Frankenstein (2014) - With David Finlay as Victor Frankenstein.  Also with Anastasia Bruce-Jones as Elizabeth Frankenstein.

...what's kind of interesting about this group, from probably strictly a numerological perspective, is a lot of these titles' IMDb numbers end in the same two digits... okay, only two groups of two, but still!

Frankenstein - With Adrian Pezdirc as Victor Frankenstein.

"Frankenstein" - With Mark Jax as Victor Frankenstein's father (2 episodes).  Also with Peter Simun as Father Francis (2 episodes).  Also with Frantisek Trochta as Officer #1 (2 episodes).  Also with Daniel Williams as William Frankenstein (2 episodes).  Post-production Coordinator (2 Episodes, 2004): Frank Sharp.

"Frankenstein" - With Robert Powell as Victor Frankenstein.  Also with Terence Alexander as Alphonse Frankenstein.  Also with Graham McGrath as William Frankenstein.

"Frankenstein" - With Carl Beck as Victor Frankenstein.  Also with Oliver Osterberg as Alphonse Frankenstein (as Ollie Osterberg).

"Frankenstein" - With Patrick Bergin as Dr. Victor Frankenstein.  Stunts (as Franklin Henson): Mark Henson.

...all right, fun part's over, numerologically speaking.

"Frankenstein" - With Helen McCrory as Dr. Victoria Frankenstein.

Frankenstein 1970 - With Boris Karloff as Baron Victor von Frankenstein.  Also with Franz Roehn as Cab Driver (uncredited).  Sound: Francis E. Stahl.

Frankenstein 2000 - Ritorno dalla morte - With Mark Frank as Kurt.  Also with Martin Dansky as Dr. Frankenstein.

Frankenstein 90 - Avec Jean Rochefort son Victor Frankenstein, et Eddy Mitchell son Frank.  Costume Design by: Françoise Disle.  Production Assistant (as Jean-Francois Geneux): Jean-François Geneix... hmm.  Must be a French production or sumpthin'.

Frankenstein all'italiana - With Gianrico Tedeschi as Dr. Frankenstein.  Co-written by: Massimo Franciosa.

Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell - With Peter Cushing as Baron Frankenstein.  Writing credits: Mary Shelley(character: Frankenstein) (uncredited).

"Frankenstein and the Vampyre: A Dark and Stormy Night" - With Miroslav Zaruba as Frankenstein monster       (uncredited).

Frankenstein Conquers the World - With Kôji Furuhata as Frankenstein.  Also with Kenichiro Kawaji as Young Frankenstein.

Frankenstein Created Woman - With... you know, I hate to editorialize here, but I bee-LEAVE this is what scientists refer to as "scope creep," or what pundits and some regular folk refer to as, um... "hyperbole"?  I'm just saying I think woman was created long before Frankenstein came on the scene.  Anyway, with  Peter Cushing as Baron Frankenstein.  Guess he made four of these.  Guess they couldn't exactly make one called Frankenstein Has Risen From the Grave.

The Frankenstein Files: How Hollywood Made a Monster - With Colin Clive as Henry Frankenstein       (archive footage) (uncredited).  Also with Peter Cushing as Dr. Frankenstein       (archive footage) (uncredited).  Also with Basil Rathbone as Baron Wolf von Frankenstein (archive footage) (uncredited).  Body: Frankenstein Monster: Howard Berger.  Charcoal Portrait: Frankenstein Monster (as Dominick Alvarez): Nick Damon.  Body: Frankenstein Monster: Robert Kurtzman.  Charcoal Portrait: Frankenstein Monster: Lenny Liff.  Body: Frankenstein Monster (as Gregory Nicotero) / Body: Frankenstein Monster: Greg Nicotero.  Sculptor: Frankenstein Busts: Mike Teves.

"Frankenstein from the Royal Ballet" - With Federico Bonelli as Doctor Frankenstein (as Frederico Bonelli).

Frankenstein General Hospital - With Mark Blankfield as Dr. Bob Frankenstein.  Also with Jonathan Farwell as Dr. Frank Reutgar.  Also with Michael Franco as Brad.

Frankenstein GPS - With Rocko Ferrera as Frankenstein.

Frankenstein in Love - With Rikka Bonnell as Bride of Frank.  Also with Brent Teclaw as Frank.

Frankenstein Island - With John Carradine as Dr. Frankenstein.  Also with Katherine Victor as Sheila Frankenstein von Helsing.

Frankenstein JR. - With Brent Beebe as Frankenstein Jr..  Also with Patrick Lazzara as Frankenstein (voice) (as Pat Lazzara).

Frankenstein Junior: Director Fan's Cut - With Sergio Danzi as Dr. Frankenstein.  Directed by: Franco Masselli.  Produced and Directed by: Franco Masselli.  Writing Credits: Franco Masselli... and MARY SHELLEY?????!!!!!!!!!!!

Frankenstein Meets the Spacemonster - With Robert Reilly as Col. Frank Saunders / Frankenstein.  Writing credits:  Oh, I don't know... maybe MARY SHELLEY?????!!!!!!!!!!

Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man - With Ilona Massey as Baroness Elsa Frankenstein.  Also with Patric Knowles as Dr. Frank Mannering.  Also with Don Barclay as Franzec.  Composer: Stock Music (uncredited): Frank Skinner.

The Frankenstein Monster Project - With Kelsey Zukowski as The Bride of Frankenstein.  Also with Oliver Morton as The Frankenstein Monster.

Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed - With Peter Cushing as Baron Frankenstein.  Also with Frank Middlemass as Guest - Plumber.  Writing credits: Mary Shelley (character: Frankenstein) (uncredited).

Frankenstein Reborn - With Rhett Giles as Dr. Victor Frank.  Designer: Frankenstein / Special Effects Coordinator / Special Effects Makeup / Special Effects Technician: Dan Kaplan.  Writing credits:  Oh, I don't know... maybe MARY SHELLEY?????!!!!!!!!!!

"Frankenstein Reborn: The Making of a Hammer Classic" - With Peter Cushing as Victor Frankenstein (archive footage).  Writing credits:  Oh, I don't know... maybe MARY SHELLEY?????!!!!!!!!!!

Frankenstein REC - With... hmm!  Nobody in it yet!  Except this Harry Potter-lookin' dude with bad skin.  Moron this later

Frankenstein Rising - With Gary Jazon as Vincent Frankson (as Gary Brandt).  Also with Domiziano Arcangeli as Victor Frankenstein.  Also with Anita Page as Elizabeth Frankenstein.  Also with Shevaun Kastl as 1800 Elizabeth Frankenstein.  Also with Serena Lorien as Elizabeth Frankenstein (voice).  Special Thanks: Franz Schmulzer.  Writing credits: Mary Shelley (characters by).

The Frankenstein Story - With Donald F. Glut as Frankenstein Monster (as Don Glut).  Also with Charles Martinka as Dr. Frankenstein.

Frankenstein Therapy - With Tom Siedle as Dr. Henry Frankenstein.

Frankenstein vs. the Creature from Blood Cove - With Lawrence Furbish as Frankenstein's Monster.

"Frankenstein, Jr. and the Impossibles" - With Ted Cassidy as Frankenstein, Jr. (unknown episodes)  Series Writing Credits: Eddie Brandt ("Frankenstein Jr." Stories) (unknown Episodes).

"Frankenstein, MD" - With Anna Lore as Victoria Frankenstein (24 Episodes).  Production Assistant (8 Episodes, 2014): Bryant Francis.

Frankenstein: A Cinematic Scrapbook - With Ralph Bates as Victor Frankenstein (archive footage).  Also with Whit Bissell as Prof. Frankenstein (archive footage), Colin Clive as Dr. Henry Frankenstein (archive footage), Gary Conway as Bob (Teenage Monster) / Tony (Teenage Frankenstein) (archive footage), Whit Bissell as Prof. Frankenstein (archive footage), Joseph Cotten as Baron Frankenstein (archive footage), Peter Cushing as Victor Frankenstein / Dr. Carl Victor (archive footage),  Cedric Hardwicke as Dr. Frankenstein (archive footage), Boris Karloff as The Monster / Doctor Gustav Niemann / Dr. Henry Jekyll / Mr. Hyde / Baron Victor von Frankenstein (archive footage), Sandra Knight as Trudy Morton... Frankenstein's Daughter (archive footage), Donald Murphy as Oliver Frank / Frankenstein (archive footage), Rosalba Neri as Tania Frankenstein (archive footage), Narda Onyx as Dr. Maria Frankenstein (archive footage), Basil Rathbone as Baron Wolf von Frankenstein (archive footage), and Gene Wilder as Dr. Frankenstein (archive footage).

"Frankenstein: A Modern Myth" - With Benedict Cumberbatch AND Jonny Lee Miller as Himself / Frankenstein / The Monster.

"Frankenstein: Birth of a Monster" - With David Schofield as Frankenstein's Monster.  Also with Ronan Vibert as Victor Frankenstein.

Frankenstein: Day of the Beast - With Adam Stephenson as Victor Frankenstein.  Also with Frank Warpeha as Felix.

Frankenstein: Heart of a Champion - With Jeffrey Alan Solomon as Vic Frank.

"Frankenstein: The College Years" - With Vincent Hammond as Frank N. Stein.

Frankenstein: The Metal Opera - Live - With Roy Ryan as Victor Frankenstein.

"Frankenstein: The True Story" - With Leonard Whiting as Dr. Victor Frankenstein.  Also with Margaret Leighton as Francoise DuVal.

'Frankenstein: Through the Eyes of the Monster' - With Tim Curry as Dr. Frankenstein.

"Frankenstein: Une histoire d'amour" - Avec Gérard Berner son Frankenstein.  Adaptation et Dialogue: François Chevallier... hmm!  Their IMDb #s are similar... tres chair de poule!

Frankenstein's Cat - With Keith Wickham as Dr. Frankenstein / Mr. Crumble / Pipsquawk (30 episodes).

Frankenstein's Daughter - With Donald Murphy as Oliver Frank / Frankenstein.  Chief Electrician: Frank Leonetti.

Frankenstein's Fatal Flying Guillotine - With Terence Lee Cover as Frankenstein.

Frankenstein's Great Aunt Tillie - With Donald Pleasence as Victor Frankenstein / Old Baron Frankenstein.  Also with Yvonne Furneaux as Matilda 'Tillie' Frankenstein.  Art Direction by: Francisco Magallón.

Frankenstein's Hungry Dead - With Michael Thurber as Dr. Frankenstein.  Very Special Thanks: Jesús Franco.

Frankenstein's Light - With John Jay Boda as Dr. Frankenstein.  Also with Sarah Doar as Aunt Frances.

Frankenstein's Monster - With Mike McAlpine as Frankenstein.  Writing Credits... oh, I don't know... MARY SHELLEY???????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Frankenstein's Monster - With Dustin Sturgill as Victor Frankenstein.  Also with James Sturgill as William Frankenstein.  Thanks: Charlie Franklin.

Frankenstein's Patchwork Monster - With Bill Kennedy as Dr. Viktor Frankenstein.

"Frankenstein's Wedding... Live in Leeds" - With Andrew Gower as Victor Frankenstein.  Also with Mark Williams as Alphonse Frankenstein.

Frankensteinin Lapsi - With Risto Honkasalmi as Viktor Frankenstein.  Also with Vincent Kinnunen as Frankensteinin lapsi / Child of Frankenstein.

"Frankensteins Schwiegermutter" - Mit Karl-Heinz Gierke als Viktor Frankenstein.  Auch mit Bärbel Schöller als Frankensteins Sekretärin.  Auch mit Jürgen Schaak als Frankensteins Monster.

Frankenström - Med Niklas Österholm som Vihtori Frankenström.

Frankenthumb - With Steve Oedekerk as Pepper, Narrator, Frankenbatthumb, Italian Man (voice).  Also with S. Scott Bullock as Dr. Frankenthumb, Mayor, Minister.  Set Decoration by: Frank Kowal III.

Frankenweenie - With Shelley Duvall as Susan Frankenstein.  Also with Daniel Stern as Ben Frankenstein.  Also with Barret Oliver as Victor Frankenstein.  Also with Jason Hervey as Frank Dale.  Re-recording Mixer (as Frank C. Regula): Frank Regula.  Writing Credits... oh, I don't know... MARY SHELLEY???????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Frankenweenie - With Catherine O'Hara as Mrs. Frankenstein.  Also with Martin Short as Mr. Frankenstein.  Also with Charlie Tahan as Victor Frankenstein.  Also with Frank Welker as Sparky Frankenstein (voice) (uncredited).  Stereo Artist: Prime Focus World: Francesco Capone.  Stereo Artist: Prime Focus World: Francis David O'Brien.

"The Franki Show" - With Bonnie Carter as Franki (unknown episodes)

Frankie - With Lauren Murtagh as Frankie.  Also with Francis Owens as Maddy.

Frankie - With Alvaro Orlando as Frankie.

Frankie - With Chona Sandoval as Frankie.

Frankie - With Mathias Ilg as Frankie.

Frankie - With Diane Kruger as Frankie.  Sound Mixer: François Musy.

Frankie - With Frankie G. Foti as Frankie Caldwell.

Frankie - With Ryan Andrews as Frankie.  Also with Anthony Brophy as Frankie's Dad.

Frankie - With Ean Sheehy as Frankie

Frankie - With Simon Jones as Frankie (voice).

Frankie - With Paddy Lee as Frankie.  Also with Jessica O'Donegan as Footballer (Frankie's friend).  Also with Jordan O'Donegan as Footballer (Frankie's friend).

Frankie - With Mathias Sercu as Frankie.

Frankie - With Helen Laser as Frankie.

"Frankie" - With ... maybe it's a documentary series?  No one knows!

Frankie - With Eve Myles as Frankie (4 episodes, 2 as Frankie Maddox).

"Frankie" - With Christina Kovacs as Frankie Cage.

Frankie & Alice - With Halle Berry as Frankie.  Also with Andrew Francis as Cop #2.  Also with Vanessa Morgan as Frankie (16 years old) (as Vanessa Morgan Mziray).  Also with Michayla McKenzie as Frankie (8 years old) (as Michalya Eve Mckenzie).  Stunt Double: Frankie: Angela Uyeda.  Digital Intermediate Editor: Frank Biasi.  Stand-in: Frankie (as Marlene Hoeslich): Marlene Hoeflich.

"Frankie & Emma" - With Nancy Zamit as Frankie.  Also with Nancy Wallinger as Frankie.

'Frankie & Emma' - With Nancy Zamit as Frankie.

Frankie & Friends - With Michaeline Sexton as Frankie.

"Frankie & Hazel" - With Mischa Barton as Francesca 'Frankie' Humphries.

Frankie & Johnny Discover the Gift - With David Imani as Frankie.

"Frankie and Annette: The Second Time Around" - With Frankie Avalon as Frankie.

Frankie and Bessie - With Peter Ferrier as Frankie.

Frankie and James: Jet Pack Jesus - With Amber Tear as Frankie.

Frankie and Johnnie - With Helen Morgan as Frankie.

Frankie and Johnnie... Were Lovers - With Rene Bond as Frankie Lee (as Réne Bond).  Cinematography by: Frank Mills (as Franklin W. Mills).

Frankie and Johnny - With Donna Douglas as Frankie.  Property Master: Max Frankel.  Sound Recordist (uncredited): Frank Webster.

Frankie and Johnny - With Michelle Pfeiffer as Frankie.  Also with Frank Campanella as Retired Customer, Shawn Frank McLean as Penny Pitcher, K Callan as Frankie's Mother, Frank Buxton as Minister, and with Dedee Pfeiffer as Frankie's Cousin (as De Dee Pfeiffer).  Assistant Chief Lighting Technician: Francis X. Valdez III.  Stage Producers: "Frankie And Johnny In The Clair De Lune": Steven Baruch, Richard Frankel, and Thomas Viertel.

"Frankie and Johnny" - With Marion Harris Jr. as Frankie.  Produced by: Frank Cordell.  Music by: Frank Cordell.  Music Arranger: Frank Cordell.

"Frankie and Johnny in the Clair De Lune" - With Bonnie Franklin as Frankie.  Producer: Richard Frankel.

Frankie and Jude: Star Wars - Another Star Wars Story - With Amy Baklini as Frankie... no special thanks to George Lucas by any chance?

Frankie Carle and His Orchestra - With Frankie Carle as Frankie Carle.  Also with Frankie Carle's Orchestra as Carle's Orchestra.

Frankie D - With Todd Bridges as Frankie D.  Also with Jon Kent Ethridge as Little Frankie D.

"Frankie Drake Mysteries" - With Lauren Lee Smith as Frankie Drake (11 episodes).

Frankie Goes Downtown - With Victor Zambramo as Frankie / Himself.

"Frankie Goes to Hollywood: Two Tribes" - With Frankie Goes to Hollywood as Frankie Goes to Hollywood.  (music By): Frankie Goes to Hollywood.

"The Frankie Howerd Show" - With Frankie Howerd as Frankie (unknown episodes).

"Frankie Howerd: Rather You Than Me" - With David Walliams as Frankie Howerd

"Frankie Howerd: The Lost Tapes" - With Frankie Howerd as Himself (archive footage).  Also with Clive Anderson as Himself - Writer, The Frankie Howerd Variety Show.  Also with Barry Cryer as Himself - Writer, Frankie Howerd on Campus.  Also with Ray Galton as Himself - Writer, The Frankie Howerd Show.  Also with Tessa Le Bars as Herself - Frankie Howerd's Agent, 1976-1992.  Also with Graham McCann as Himself - Writer, Frankie Howerd: Stand-Up Comic.  Also with Rory McGrath as Himself - Writer, The Frankie Howerd Variety Show.  Also with Alan Simpson as Himself - Writer, The Frankie Howerd Show.  Also with Miles Tredinnick as Himself - Writer, Superfrank.  Also with Beryl Vertue as Herself - Frankie Howerd's Agent, 1961-1976.  Also with June Whitfield as Herself - The Frankie Howerd Show.

Frankie in Blunderland - With Tommy Pistol as Frankie Bellini (as Aramis Sartorio).

Frankie Keeps Talking - With Alex Hurt as Frankie.  And, we should probably not forget the other Alex in this, Alex Kramer... oh, like I need to tell you.

Frankie Masters and His Orchestra - With Frankie Masters as Frankie Masters - Orchestra Leader.  Also with Marian Francis as Marian Francis - Band Vocalist.  Also with Frankie Masters and His Orchestra as The Frankie Masters Orchestra.

Frankie Starlight - With Corban Walker as Frank Bois.  Also with Alan Pentony as Young Frank Bois.  Production Design by Frank Conway.

Frankie, Jonny und die anderen... Schattenkämpfer - Mit Detlef Kuper als Frankie.

Frankie: Italian Roulette - With Francesco Francio Mazza as Frankie.  Directed, co-written and executive producer-ed by Francesco Francio Mazza.

Frankie! Is, Not a Man. - With Sean Ballantyne as Frankie / Freddie.  Also with punctuation in the title by Yoda.

Frankie's Big Heart - With Galit Klas as Frankie June (as Taylor Klas).

"Frankie's House" - With Kay Tong Lim as Frankie

Frankie's Jewels - With Greg Lipari as Frankie.

"Frankies Braut" - With Thomas Astan as Frankie.

Franklin - With Alex Earl as Franklin.

Franklin - With Naythan Smith as Franklin.

Franklin - With Jake T. Getman as Franklin.

Franklin - With Noah Reid as Franklin Turtle (31 episodes, 1 as just Franklin, 5 as... God knows what).  Also with Arthur Anger as Franklin (French) (26 episodes).  Also with Cole Caplan as Franklin Turtle (5 episodes... ah!  There they are!) / Franklin (2 episodes).  Also with Nicole Shirer as Franklin's Grandmother (unknown episodes).  Series Writing Credits (3 Episodes, 1997-1998): Frank Diteljan.  Storyboard Artist (1 Episode, 2001): Frank Ramirez.

Franklin & Bash - With Breckin Meyer as Jared Franklin (40 episodes).  Also with Beau Bridges as Leonard Franklin (3 episodes).  Also with François Chau as Mr. Han (1 episode).  Also with Frank Birney as Male Board Member #3 (1 episode).  Also with Dana Frances as Infeld Lawyer (uncredited) (2 episodes).  Also with Frances Cobb as Courtroom Observer (uncredited) (1 episode).  Also with Gregory George Frank as Lawyer (uncredited) (1 episode).  Greens Foreman (8 Episodes, 2013): Frank McEldowney.  Sound Recordist (4 Episodes, 2011): Frank Fleming.  Lighting Console Programmer (10 Episodes, 2013): Michael Francisco.

'Franklin & Friends Bumpy Buggy Race-Off' - With Graeme Jokic as Franklin Turtle (voice).

'Franklin & Friends II (27-52) - Mobile/Web: Bumpy Buggy Race-Off' - With Graeme Jokic as Franklin Turtle (voice).

'Franklin & Friends II (27-52) Mobile: Shape Slider' - With Graeme Jokic as Franklin Turtle.

The Franklin Abraham - With Eric Frandsen as Eduardo Scott.  Also with Peak Kwinarian as Frank Peabody.  Also with Brian N. Taylor as Frankie.  Executive Producer: Franco Marinotti.

Franklin and Friends - With Graeme Jokic as Franklin Turtle (52 Episodes).  Also with Don Francks as (voice) (3 episodes).

'Franklin and Friends I (1-26) - Mobile: Puzzling Pieces' - With Graeme Jokic as Franklin Turtle.

'Franklin and Friends I (1-26) Mobile: Franklin Talks!' - With Graeme Jokic as Franklin Turtle.

'Franklin and Friends I (1-26) Web: Falling Fun' - With Graeme Jokic as Franklin Turtle (voice)... okay, third one's a spanking.  We gotta try and squeeze some others in here please........


"Franklin and the Green Knight: The Movie" - With Noah Reid as Franklin Turtle.  Designer: Daniel Lafrance.  Score Performer: Michael Francis.

Franklin and the Turtle Lake Treasure - With Louise Cheka as Franklin (voice).  Also with Cameron Ansell as Franklin Turtle.  Press Attache France: Emilie Maison.

Franklin D. Roosevelt Speech - With Franklin D. Roosevelt as Himself (as Franklin Delano Roosevelt).

The Franklin Spirit - With Toshiya Agata as Benjamin Franklin (voice).  Also with Joe Ochman as Benjamin Franklin.

Franklin the Ladies' Cat - With Bård Edlund as Franklin (voice)

Franklin Wunder - With Dick McMahon as Franklin Wunder.  Also with Nate Crosby as Young Franklin.

Franklin: A Symphony of Pain - With Nikolas Franklin as Franklin.  Producer: Nikolas Franklin.  Construction Coordinator: Nikolas Franklin.  Stunt Performer: Nikolas Franklin.  Catering by: Nikolas Franklin.  Guy Putting a Lot More Work Into This Thing than He Ever Thought He Would Have To by: Nikolas Franklin.

Franklin's Brain - With Oliver Hembrough as Franklin.

"Franklin's Climate Change" - With Ralph Archbold as Ben Franklin.

"Franklin's Magic Christmas" - With Noah Reid as Franklin Turtle.

FranklinStein - With Justin Davidson as Clive Franklin.

Frankly - With Mitchell Fink as Frank.

Frankly Abused - With Karla Pearce as Frank's Wife.  Also with Mike Politis as Frank.

Frankly, Rebecca - With Brett Loudermilk as Frank.

Franklyn - With Mark Wingett as Frank Grant.

Franko - With Marwan Naji as Franko (as Mark Naji).  Key Grip: Frank Anthony Garbutt... tee hee hee

Franko's Fortune - With Domenic Acchione as Dave Franko.  Also with Ed Hooft as James Franko.  Also with Gene Jones as Friend-O.

Franks prolaps - Med Christian Nordal som Frank Vold. 

The Franks: A Blood Puke Segment - With Hannah Fierman as Mrs. Frank.  Also with Stephen Medvidick as Mr. Frank. 

Franksgiving - With Tony Bingham as Frank Ovitchovic.  Also with Gino DiNardo as Tony Franchino.  Also with Matthew Sampson as Frank Jr.  Also with Chris Frank as Bowling Fan.  Also with Frank McAleavey as Jimmy Coslovich.  Also with Dave Petti as Frank Leraci Sr..  Also with John Tarr as Frankie Lojak.  Grip (as Christopher Frank): Chris Frank.  Special Thanks: Frank Fallenswoop

Franksgiving - With Austin Klein as Frank Ruark. .. boy!  A lot less Franks to give thanks to on this show!

Frankula - With David Barry as Frankie Abbott.  Hair & Make Up: Frances Saltiel

Frankulstein - With Christian Alhaug as Frankulstein.  Composer: Music Cues: Franz Waxman.  OH MY GOD... he's composing from beyond the grave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Franky and the Ant - With Emmanuel Todorov as Franky.  The closest thing I've seen lately to an Oscar-nominated short feature.  Keep reaching for that brass ring, guys!

Franky Fingers & The Apartment Upstairs - With Michael Carman as Franky Fingers.  Written, directed, co-produced, edited and catered by Francis Leigh... who do they think they are?  John Sayles or M. Night Shyamalan?