Monday, March 05, 2018

Oscars(TM) So Deakins?

Never thought I'd see that!  The Susan Lucci of the ASC, Roger Deakins, has FINALLY won an Oscar(TM)!  But I think, unlike Susan Lucci, people will still give a sh... still care about the work that Deakins does, has done, will continue to do.  Maybe I'm being too glib here, but it seemed like the Oscars have gone black... now they're going back!  I mean, God bless Frances McDormand and all that, but what was the average age of some of the winners?  Guillermo del Toro is 54, Deakins is almost 70, James Ivory is... older than Christopher Plummer?  Plummer looks like he's taken a little better care of himself.  I'll bet he does yoga or something.  Meanwhile, Rod Lurie wasn't happy.  In Facebookland, he posted something about a rapist winning an Oscar... but he didn't say which one.  I think he also declared the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements finished, something like that.  And maybe they are, but probably not.  Sorry, Rod, but your snappier snap judgments are a little too snappy sometimes.  Mira Sorvino and Ashley Judd aren't getting that much filmwork these days; they've got time to keep the momentum of these movements going.  And after all, this is Hollywood we're talking about!  It's about as rape-y a place as the Catholic church.  One of my customers didn't even watch the Oscars; too political, they said.  As for me, well... I guess it was no surprise that Gary Oldman would win... but I mean, really, isn't it the Oscar he should've gotten for Sid and Nancy?  Something like that?  Filmed by Deakins, incidentally!  It's all related; damn near incestuous, this business of film show.
But enough about the Oscars.  What about the Top 10 films this weekend?  We got Black Panther still going strong, Red Sparrow erasing the memory of Mother!, and we've got the new Death Wish.  As long as it's in the Top 10, I'll be curious about its director.  Turns out it's the Jew Bear himself, Eli Roth... that was his nickname in Inglourious Basterds, right?  ...forgive me, it's Sgt. Donny Donowitz, AKA "The Bear Jew."  I guess Jew Bear would be more like ... Harvey Fierstein, something like that.  ANYWAY... don't get me wrong, I'm happy for Roth and Bruce Willis and whoever else was involved... but really?  Plus, the character is now a surgeon, not an architect, so we can hope for some "Dexter"-like overtones, no?  He's a surgeon, right?  But alas, Eli's already hard at work defending his film, saying that it's "not pro-gun."  Well, the first one kinda was!  And I'm pretty sure Bruce Willis is, but he probably doesn't get any NRA money for his opinions.  I'll bet you one thing, though... I'm pretty sure there's no spraypainting of a naked bottom this time around.

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