Sunday, March 11, 2018

Auteur Watch - Eddie Griffin

Like I need to tell you, when you're a celebrity like Eddie Griffin, mere film or TV directing just will not do.  A guy like that's gotta do it all, especially "Soundtrack" stuff.  He'd probably prefer to be in the music business, but whatever.  Two of his IMDb Top 4 involve him as a comedian, which is all right with him.  The third is, of course, the iconic Undercover Brother.  Which is okay, but he'd rather probably be known for more bad-ass fare like Double Take.  But he's still got skin in the game, playing "Pastor" in the new A Star is Born reboot.  Lady Gaga's in it, but she's probably not interested... yet!  Hope springs eternal.  I suggest opening with your old genealogical question: "Got any black in you?" then waiting a beat, and follow up with the follow-up question "Want some?"  What fellow big-time celebrity wouldn't be impressed by that?

One With the Ladies

And so, how did the massive ad campaign for Disney's A Wrinkle in Time pan out?... Ouch.  As the numbers tell us, Black Panther is still #1.  But Spielberg's Ready Player One is hoping to change that next weekend!  He seemed a little depressed at the Oscars (TM) last weekend.  But if Ready Player One does good enough, they'll let him hand out an Oscar next year, maybe.  But back to A Wrinkle in Time.  Even though it didn't beat Black Panther, I think everyone involved will probably get to work again.  Director Ava DuVernay, for example, is... WHAT?!!! ARE YOU NUTS??!!!!  Her next project is a TV Movie.  ARE YOU INSANE?!?!!!!!????!!!  You've just conquered the silver screen, girlfriend!  And now you're going to throw it all away!  On a TV movie about the battle of Versailles, no less!  Tentatively titled "Battle of Versailles."  ...oh!  Just read the plot description.  Sounds a little more like Battle of the Sexes than a war epic about... about World War I.  The least obscure battle to come up on Wikipedia.  Man, oh for two today!  But the main thing to remember is DuVernay's next project is about 1) the Beautiful People, and 2) the 1970s.  Oh, if only these two subjects would ever get the respect they deserve, from Hollywood in general and from the world in particular.
...ooh!  Did you notice?  They finally fixed the underlining problem that was plaguing the internet up until now.  For you see, up until now, in the whole history of the Internets, that series of tubes we all continually rely upon for everything from automated control of our public infrastructure to the Huffington Post's Pulitzer-Prize-worthy sideboob pics, when you had the dangling lowercase letters, they had to fight with the underline.  Well, not anymore.  As David Letterman would say, before he had his award-worthy Netflix show, made in small batches by contented artisans, you've got your 'g' (ding), you got your 'j' (ding), you got your klmno (loud, annoying buzz)... 'p' (ding)  You got your 'q' (ding), rstuvwx (loud annoying buzz), and finally, you got your "y" (ding).  None of the uppercase letters has this problem.  But hey!  What about the special characters like that douche-y "|" vertical line thing?  (ding)  Well, this must've been some kind of internal font fix or something, but whoever did it is going to make a "million damn dollars," again as Letterman used to say.  Seriously, he would really run certain phrases into the ground.  Say, how much do you weigh?  And what do you think of your old buddy Clinton there?  Okay, underline off.  Ooh, can't wait to see how that looks!
At #3 this week, our second debut is the latest horror movie, and it's called The Strangers: Prey at Night... Tyler Perry isn't involved in this, is he?  He's got "The Family that Preys," as you all know.  You notice that he hasn't presented on the Oscars (TM) lately.  Well, he hasn't been allowed back ever since he quipped, in Woody Allen-style fashion, that that was as probably as close as he'd ever get to one.  And he cast Oscar(TM) winner Kathy Bates in one of his projects, for God's sake!  Oh, Oscar can be so cruel.  Anyway, so that was the second debut... meanwhile, whatever on Earth happened to that one movie?  One of Anton Yelchin's last, all over the IMDb the last few weeks... Thoroughbreds, that's it!  That was supposed to clean up this weekend!  What happened?  Well, we'll never know through the IMDb, thanks to their cutting off of the budget information.  Guess they got too many complaints.  Also, arguably they do have to try and cure film enthusiasts of their "budget fetishism," to coin a phrase.  I was part of the movement myself, I'll confess.  I mean, for a while there I just wouldn't see a movie that cost less than 300 million dollars.  But if it had "Transformers" in the title, sure, I'd skip those as well.
And the final debut this week is Rob Cohen's latest non-Vin Diesel-related megabomb, and it's called The Hurricane Heist.  Boy!  And I thought reading the Trivia page of Stealth was bad.  This one's going to be way, way worse.

Monday, March 05, 2018

Auteur Watch - Rashaad Ernesto Green

...oh, right!  Guess I should say / blog something about him.  Well, he seems to be well on his way to mainstream success, but he's got a long way to go before getting to David Gordon Green levels.  Also, given his model-ish looks he might want to consider acting fulltime instead of spreading his energy around to so many other side interests!  I mean, look at all these categories you can jump to: director, actor, producer, writer, editor... catering.  Always like to throw that one in.  Someday it'll be its own category as it deserves to be, as soon as Taylor Hackford has moved on to the big director's chair in the sky.
But it looks like TV directing is the way to go, and Rashaad has taken it.  I've actually heard of some of those shows!  We've got "Grimm" and... something else.  Jim Kouf got tired of writing about cops, and decided to move onto more ratings-friendly fare.  So there's "Grimm" and "The Vampire Diaries."  See, the nice thing about directing TV shows is that the titles are kinda grandfathered in.  The writers take care of all that stuff.  Usually titles will be taken from the world of rock stars.  Take his episode of "Supernatural" called "Thin Lizzie", for example.  The boys are back in town, indeed!  Or how about "One Way or Another," which used to be a Blondie song, but now it's a critical episode of "The Vampire Diaries."  Incidentally, is it just me, or is that horrible Imagine Dragons song "Lightning and Thunder" kind of a structural ripoff of Blondie's "One Way or Another"?  The internet for now is still far too text-based to pick up on sh.. stuff like that.  But in Rashaad's pre-TV period, he had a pretty good handle on titles.  Gun Hill Road is a great one, The Can Collector has potential; depends on the film itself, of course.  But Showtime?  C'mon.  I mean, we've already got 2002's Showtime with Eddie Murphy and Robert De Niro.  And I believe there's a whole channel called that.
Oh, but I probably complain too much.  Keep up the good work!  Use your position for good, and for shepherding the next generation into the world of film directing.

Oscars(TM) So Deakins?

Never thought I'd see that!  The Susan Lucci of the ASC, Roger Deakins, has FINALLY won an Oscar(TM)!  But I think, unlike Susan Lucci, people will still give a sh... still care about the work that Deakins does, has done, will continue to do.  Maybe I'm being too glib here, but it seemed like the Oscars have gone black... now they're going back!  I mean, God bless Frances McDormand and all that, but what was the average age of some of the winners?  Guillermo del Toro is 54, Deakins is almost 70, James Ivory is... older than Christopher Plummer?  Plummer looks like he's taken a little better care of himself.  I'll bet he does yoga or something.  Meanwhile, Rod Lurie wasn't happy.  In Facebookland, he posted something about a rapist winning an Oscar... but he didn't say which one.  I think he also declared the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements finished, something like that.  And maybe they are, but probably not.  Sorry, Rod, but your snappier snap judgments are a little too snappy sometimes.  Mira Sorvino and Ashley Judd aren't getting that much filmwork these days; they've got time to keep the momentum of these movements going.  And after all, this is Hollywood we're talking about!  It's about as rape-y a place as the Catholic church.  One of my customers didn't even watch the Oscars; too political, they said.  As for me, well... I guess it was no surprise that Gary Oldman would win... but I mean, really, isn't it the Oscar he should've gotten for Sid and Nancy?  Something like that?  Filmed by Deakins, incidentally!  It's all related; damn near incestuous, this business of film show.
But enough about the Oscars.  What about the Top 10 films this weekend?  We got Black Panther still going strong, Red Sparrow erasing the memory of Mother!, and we've got the new Death Wish.  As long as it's in the Top 10, I'll be curious about its director.  Turns out it's the Jew Bear himself, Eli Roth... that was his nickname in Inglourious Basterds, right?  ...forgive me, it's Sgt. Donny Donowitz, AKA "The Bear Jew."  I guess Jew Bear would be more like ... Harvey Fierstein, something like that.  ANYWAY... don't get me wrong, I'm happy for Roth and Bruce Willis and whoever else was involved... but really?  Plus, the character is now a surgeon, not an architect, so we can hope for some "Dexter"-like overtones, no?  He's a surgeon, right?  But alas, Eli's already hard at work defending his film, saying that it's "not pro-gun."  Well, the first one kinda was!  And I'm pretty sure Bruce Willis is, but he probably doesn't get any NRA money for his opinions.  I'll bet you one thing, though... I'm pretty sure there's no spraypainting of a naked bottom this time around.

Thursday, March 01, 2018

Short Reviews - March 2018

Well, I could go on with characters just named Frank forever, it seems, but it's probably time to move on to characters with last names.  A lot of those as well.  So let's get started and change some paradigms around here!

"Foyle's War" "The Funk Hole" - With Richard Hope as Frank Vaudrey

Fracchia Vs. Dracula - Con Romano Puppo come Frank...enstein

Fracture - With Cliff Curtis as Detective Frank...lin

Fractured Lies - With Brandon DeCardenas as Frank Lindel

Fragile Fish - With Frank Ellis Wells as Franky

Frame - With Frank (C.) Williams as Detective Harris

Frame - With Eric Riedmann as Frank

Frame of Mind - With David Dinkins as Seantor Franklin.  Also with... yeah, that's right!  MAYOR David Dinkins playing a Senator!  So clearly this is the more prestigious gig!  Also with Frank Gio as Johnny Loma; just another Goombah

Frame Up - With veteran of the Joe Dante Rolling Stock Company and a Generally Nutty Guy Otherwise Robert Picardo as Frank Govers.  Also with Frances Fisher as Jo Westlake.  Lighting Cameraman work by Francis Grumman.

Framed - With Frank Mills as Frank... the Waiter (uncredited)

Framed - With Paul Mantee as Frank

"Framed" - With Trevor Cooper as D. I. Frank Shrapnel (3 episodes... okay, technically ONE, but he does retain that great last name.  Must be Dutch/German/Austrian or something.  It's like an ice cream guy named Cone!)

Frames - With Roger Cardwell as Frank

Frames of Fear - With George Stover as Frank, Festering (segment eponymous)

Frames of Fear 2 (Fear Boogaloo) - With George Stover as Frank, Festering (segment "Wraparound")

Framing Frankie - With Anoucia Christina as Frankie Mendes

Francesca - With Debra Lopez as Frankie

"Francesco: Unintentional Wise Guy" - With Frank Massa as Frankie Cornuto (2 episodes)

Francis Goes to the Races - With Jesse White as Frank Damer........... also with Piper Laurie as Frances Travers.  Also with Molly as Francis the Talking Mule.  Also with Franklyn Farnum as Racetrack Spectator (uncredited).  Also with Chill Wills as Francis the Talking Mule (voice).  Music by Frank Skinner.  Why can't they ALL be this easy?!!!

Francis is a Lion - With Ryan Rehnborg as Frank

Franco Brocani - Cuore meccanico in corpo anonimo - Con Franco Brocani come Himself - Director.  Anche con Riccardo Reim come Himself - Actor / La creatura di Frankenstein / Clodio.  Anche con Franco Lecca come Himself - Director of Photography.  Anche con Bruno Corazzari come La creatura di Frankenstein (archive footage).  Mamma mia!

Franco: ese hombre - Con Francisco Franco como Himself.  También con Francisco Arenzana como (voice).  También con Francisco Largo Caballero como él mismo (tomas de archivo).  También con Francesc Macià como él mismo (tomas de archivo).  También con Franklin D(elano) Roosevelt como él mismo (tomas de archivo).

Frank 'N Beans - With Paul Pape as Frank... no one as Beans!!  I feel highly cheated.

Frank 'n' Stan - With Mishael Trestrail as Frank

"Frank 'N' Steve" - With Jonathan Canham as Frank (voice) (28 episodes)... and also Steve (voice) (28 episodes).  Is this guy the new Seth MacFarlane yet?

Frank - Med Fredrik Hiller som Frank

Frank - With Graham Fellows as Frank

Frank - With Steve Gelder as Frank O'Neill

Frank - With Jesse McDowell as Frank #1.  Also with Joseph Aniska as Frank #2.  Also with Tommy Bartlett as Frank #3.  Also with Charlie Plummer as Young Frank.  Co-written, co-directed, co-produced, co-edited, co-production-designed, co-sound-edited, colored, co-visual-effected, co-catered and also featuring as 'Anna's client #2 - bald guy' by Gian Franco Morini.  Also with production design and set decoration by Fernando Toscano.

Frank - With Darren Beaumont as Frank.  Also with Pat Dunn as Frank's Mother.  Also with visual effects by Nick Franco.

Frank - With Humphrey Waterhouse as Frank

Frank - With Kieran Hodgson as Frank

Frank - With Dillon Siedentopf as Frank

Frank - With Michael Fassbender as Frank... wow!  I've actually HEARD of this one!  Also with François Civil as Baraque, Tess Harper as Frank's Mom, Bruce McIntosh as Frank's Dad.  Crew: Robert Allsopp as Frank Head Modelmaker, Frank Hanna as digital compositor: Screen Scene, Frank Garcia as lighting technician, Frank Montoya as lighting technician, Elodie Demey as casting: France, Frank Moore as driver, and with Frank Sidebottom as dedicatee (as Chris Sievey... not ready yet to own his Frankness.  Maybe on the next show!  Frank 2: El-Frank-tric Boogaloo)

Frank - With Lee Thomson as Frank.  Also with Frank Ryan as The Doctor.

Frank - With Frank Aldridge as Frank (himself)

Frank - With Ross Brooks as Frank

Frank - With Ray Manahan as Frank.  Also with Trenton Tabor as Young Frank.

Frank - With Robert Harrison as Frank

Frank - With Dan Lauria as Frank

"Frank" - With Graham Bowe as Frank

"Frank" - With Robert Harrison as Frank.  Also with Alexander Baker as Young Frank.  Also with Joy McAvoy as Frank's Mother.

"Frank" - With James Chilli Chillingworth as Frank

Frank & Flo - With John Rutland as Frank

Frank & Jerry - With Benedict Hardie as Frank

Frank & Jesse - With Bill Paxton as Frank James

"The Frank & Judy Show" - With Charles Huddleston as Frank (as Charlie Huddleston)

"Frank & Lamar" - With Carl Foreman Jr. as Frank

Frank & Lola - With Johnny Acero as Frank

Frank & Lola - With Michael Shannon as Frank.  Also with Laine Rettmer as Françoise.  Property Master, Paris Unit: Frank Pitussi.  Foley mixer: Frank Rinella.  Stunts: Frank Trigg.  Chef Consultant: Frank Falcinelli.  Special Thanques: Frank Castronovo.

Frank & Mary - With David Holman as Frank

Frank & Suzie - With Jackie Liu as Frank

Frank & the Box - With Errich Petersen as Frank

"Frank Abagnale: Between Reality and Fiction" - With Frank (W.) Abagnale Jr. as Himself

Frank Advice - With Tom Segura as Frank

Frank and Ava - With Rico Simonini as Frank Sinatra.  Also with Luc Austin as Frank jr [sic].  Also with Dexter Cross as young Frank Sinatra.  Line Producer / Production Manager: Francesco Papa.

Frank and Barry - With Jake Millgard as Frank.  Also with Francisco Reyes as The Vampire.

Frank and Cindy - With Oliver Platt as Frank.  Also, incidentally, with Marc Maron as SOMEONE OTHER THAN HIMSELF.  Just sayin'.

"Frank and Ernie" - With John O'Creagh as Frank (4 episodes).  Also with Frank Mollica as Guard (1 episode).

Frank and Franklin - With Adam Harper as Frank... no one as Franklin, apparently.  Voice in Head?  Imaginary Best Friend?  Ghost only Frank can See?

"Frank and Jane" - With Stephen A. Chang as Frank Churchill (9 Episodes)

Frank and Kass - With Hidekun Hah as Frank

Frank and Marie - With John Cunningham as Frank

Frank and the Rabbit - With René Granado as Frank Bullseye

The Frank Anderson - With Richard Riehle as Frank Anderson.  Music by David Frank Long.

Frank Bishop's Wife - With Bruce Van Cott as Frank Bishop.  Also with Yarusha Jimenez as Frank Bishop's Wife (uncredited) and... UNCREDITED?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Frank BluE - With JayTee Thompson as Frank Blue / Lil Dirt.  Also with Joshua Russell as Frank Jr.

Frank Calls - With Adrian Espulso as Frank

"Frank Capra Jr. Remembers: Mr. Deeds Goes to Town" - With Frank Capra Jr. as ... himself

Frank Caruso P. I. - With Tim Halpin as Frank Caruso (P. I.)

Frank Comes Home - With Justin Possenti as Frank Capra.  Also with Kenneth Cuellar as Frankie Jr. Capra. (...that's the way THEY have it!  I'm just reporting what I see)  Special Thanks: Frank Capra III: The Return of Durant.

Frank DanCoolo: Paranormal Drug Dealer - With John Charles Meyer as Frank DanCoolo

Frank DeVol and His Orchestra - With Frank De Vol as Himself (as Frank DeVol)

Frank El Indomable - Mitt Federico Vega Leal como Frank

Frank Embree - With Skinner Myers as Frank Embree

Frank Fairfield - With Frank Fairfield as Frank Fairfield

"Frank Finds a Job" "Baking Bad" - With Jarred Shaffer as Frank Todd

Frank Finds Out - With Matt Nolan as Frank

Frank Flutie - With Josh Mitchell as Frank Flutie

Frank Gehry: An Architecture of Joy - With Frank Gehry as Himself (as Frank O. Gehry)

Frank Gehry: The Formative Years - With Frank Gehry as Himself (as Frank O. Gehry)

Frank Georges and the Truth - With Lucky Douglas as Frank Georges

"Frank Hardon: Life Coach" - With Curtis Eastwood as Frank Hardon (6 episodes)

Frank Hates You - With Michael Racanelli as Frank.  Also with Frank Sjodin as Cop 2.

Frank Holcomb: The H. R. Rep - With Chad Mitchell as Frank Holcomb

"Frank Hurley: The Man Who Made History" - With John Noble as Frank Hurley (voice).  Also with Frank Hurley as Himself (archive footage).  Oh, this Frank Hurley, he's good... but he's not John Noble good!

"The Frank International Film Festival" - With Fred Armisen as Frank.  Also with Ron Lynch as Frank's Uncle, and Derek Waters as Frank's Brother.

"Frank Leaves for the Orient" - With Stan Cahill as Frank (6 episodes).  Also with Janet Carroll as Frank's Mom (2 episodes!!) and Richard Roat as Frank's Dad (1 episode).

"Frank McCuff: Police Force Vigilante" - With Alexander J. Diaz as Frank McCuff Jr.

Frank McKlusky, C. I. - With Dave Sheridan as Frank McKlusky (C. I.).  Also with Sawyer and Sullivan Sweeten as Young Frank.  Also with Franklin Hernandez as Pancho, and Frank Hudetz as Film Director (uncredited).  SECOND Second Assistant Director: Franklyn Gottbetter (actually got a lot worse).  Special Effects Technician: Johnny Franco III.  Extras casting: Central Casting: Franklyn Warren (as Franklin Warren).

Frank Mills - With Ryan Babbs as Frank Mills

"Frank Nitti: The Enforcer" - With Anthony LaPaglia as Frank Nitti.  Also with Frank Schuller.

Frank Norton - With Leopold Bauer as Frank Norton

"Frank Pappa Show" - With Heimo Holopainen as Frank Pappa (unknown episodes)

"Frank Pierre Presents: Pierre Resort & Casino" - With Ray Wise as Frank Pierre.  Produced by Franny Baldwin.  Cinematography by Frank 'Chainsaw' Barrera.

Frank Reaugh: Pastel Poet of the Texas Plains - With Robert Magruder as Frank Reaugh (voice)

"Frank Riva" - With Alain Delon as Frank Riva (6 episodes).  Also with François Vincentelli as Steve Buscemi Guy 'Guido' Buscema (6 episodes).  Also with Venantino Venantini as Francesco 'Francis' Melfi (4 episodes).  Also with Franklin Torres as Rojas (2 episodes).  Also with Francine Olivier as Mme. Kolescu (1 episode).  Also with Francis Frappat as Dr. Émile Strobe (1 episode).  Also with Angelo Aybar as Francisco Arau (1 episode).  Stunts by François Schetelat (2 episodes).

"The Frank Rosenthal Show" "Episode dated 22 August 1977" - With Frank 'Lefty' Rosenthal as Himself - Host (as Frank Rosenthal)... yes, THIS 'Lefty' Rosenthal

Frank Saves the Day - With Alex Endeshaw as Frank

"Frank Sidebottom's Fantastic Shed Show" - With Frank Sidebottom as Frank Sidebottom (7 Episodes)

"The Frank Sinatra Show" - With Frank Sinatra as Himself - Host (32 episodes).  Also with Jesse White as Frank's Manager (4 episodes... okay 3 as Frank's Manager, 1 as someone called "Marty Potter"... possibly Frank's Manager).  Also with Frank Albertson as Himself (1 episode).  Also with Frank Baker as Townsman (uncredited) (1 episode).  Also with Leon Lontoc as Leon... Frank's Servant (uncredited) (1 episode).  Sound by Frank Goodwin (10 episodes, 1957-1958).  Also with Dave White as Stand-In: Frank Sinatra (6 episodes, 1957-1958).

"Frank Solich Show" - With Frank Solich as Himself - Host (as Coach Frank Solich)... no wonder the show didn't last!  No crew!

"Frank Stubbs" - With Timothy Spall as Frank Stubbs (13 episodes)

Frank the Assassin - With Zack Sztanyo as Frank the Assassin

Frank the Assassin Goes on a Date - With Zack Sztanyo as Frank the Assassin

Frank the Bastard - With Andy Comeau as Frank.  Hair Department head: ......... Frank the Bastard.  For more information about Frank the Bastard, consult your local library.

"Frank the Entertainer in a Basement Affair" - With Frank Maresca as Himself (9 episodes).  Also with Jeremy Fernandez as Frank Jr. Kid (2 episodes).

Frank the Rat - With Kevin Hogan as Frank.  Also with Frank Senger as Joe, and P. J. Sosko as Young Frank.

Frank the Uber (TM)(C)(R) Driver - With Bryan Straka as Frank Stokes

The Frank Truth - With Michael Bate as Himself - FRANK Publisher and Editor.  Also with some others who clearly are not the head honcho here... Alan Martin as Himself - FRANK Employee, Steve Collins as Himself - FRANK Employee, Glen McGregor as Himself - Ex-FRANK Employee, Bruce MacDonald as Himself - FRANK Delivery Guy, Charles Jaffé as Himself - FRANK Cartoonist, Geoff Heinricks as Himself - Ex-FRANK Employee, Jeff Wells as Himself - FRANK Satirist, and Will McDowell as Himself - FRANK Legal Counsel.  For more information about Frank magazine, go to... I'm going to say

"Frank V. - Die Oper einer Privatbank" - Mit Hubert von Meyerinck als Frank V.  Auch mit Barbara Schöne als Franziska.

Frank vs. God - With Henry Ian Cusick as David Frank.  Also with Lauren O'Quinn as Candy Frank, Ricky Wayne as Billy Frank, Heather Natoli as Heather Frank (as Heather Dodson).  Also with Cameron Francis as Cop.

Frank Was a Monster Who Wanted to Dance - With Michael Dobson as Frank (voice) (as Michael R. Dobson).  Also with Chris Ainscough, Justin James, Tiffany Jones, Nick Lainas, Adrienne Pierce, Geoff Richardson, Mark Scott, Michelle Smith, Michael Stewart,
and Sam Vincent as "thanks: Lost Boys wishes to thank everyone who has generously donated their time, advice, energy and talent, 'Frank...' would not have been possible without you."

"Frank Zito's Night of Frights" - With Jake Robinson as Frank Zito

The Frank-Can-Stein Monster - With Brandon McEnturff as Frank-Can-Stein

Frank-Étienne vers la béatitude - Avec Gérard Depardieu son Frank-Étienne Boulard

"Frank, My Dad" - With Martin Sinicák as Frank

Frank! - With Michael Bates as Frank

Frank? - With Michael Loprete as Frank / New Improved Frank.  Written and directed by Frank H. Woodward.

Frank's 21st Birthday - With Peter Stoia as Frank

Frank's Angel - With Rod McCary as Frank

Frank's Ark - With Whett Wheetie as Frank

Frank's Christmas Carol Emporium - With Hal Rudnick as Frank

Frank's Dead - With Ted LeBlang as Frank Conner

"Frank's First Love" - With Daeg Faerch as Frank

Frank's First Movie - With Frank DiNicola as Frank, the Freshman.  Also directed, co-written, co-produced, co-edited and co-catered by Frank DiNicola... who does this guy think he is, John Sayles?  Or M. Night Shyamalan?

Frank's Fun Filled Friday Night - With Nick Allan as Frank

Frank's Inertia - With Rodrig Andrisan as Frank

Frank's Last Dance - With Jon Polito as Frank.  Co-produced and co-cinematographied by Francis Kenny.

Frank's Last Shot - With John Walpole as Frank       (as Trey Walpole)

Frank's Letter - With Matthew Saliba as Younger Frank Black.  Also with John Thomas as Older Frank Black.

"Frank's Place" - With Tim Reid as Frank Parrish (22 episodes).  Also with Francesca P. Roberts as Anna-May (22 episodes), and with Frances E. Williams as Miss Marie (22 episodes).

"Frank's Place" "The Bum Out Front" - Directed by Frank Bonner

"Frank's Place" "Disengaged" - With Carl Franklin as Father Phil

"Frank's Place" "Cultural Exchange" - With Francis Awe as African Group

"Frank's Place" "Night Business" - With William Frankfather as Father

"Frank's Place" "Dueling Voodoo" - With Armelia McQueen as Franny Nugent

Frank's Plight - With Michael David Marshall as Frank

Frank's Song - With Frank Wesley as Frank Wesley

"Franka: zhena Khama" - With Hanna Dunowska as Franka.  Also with Inna Alenikova as Franka's Mother.

Frankenbabe - With Robin Bain as Frankenbabe

Frankenbeans - With Stephen Sonneveld as Frankenbeans (voice)

Frankenberg - Mit Volkert Kraeft als Christian von Frankenberg (27 Episodes).  Auch mit Adele Landauer als Charlotte von Frankenberg (27 episodes).  Auch mit Natascha Bub als Lissy von Frankenberg (27 episodes).  Auch mit Fiona Molloy als Katharina von Frankenberg (27 Episodes).  Auch mit Ralf Komorr als Nick von Frankenberg (27 Episodes).  Auch mit Julian Hennek als Justus von Frankenberg (27 episodes).  Make-up von Francois Ettinger (unknown episodes) ... verdammt Französisch

Frankenchicken - With Michael R. Curtis as Igor / Frankenchicken / Ninjas (as Michael Curtis)

Frankenchicken - With Troy Planet as Frankenchicken / CAC Executive No. One (voice)

Frankendancer - Hold me closer, Frankendancer... I mean, with Thomas Callahan as Dr. Franklin

"Frankenheimer in Focus" - With John Frankenheimer as himself (archive footage).  Also with Evans Evans as Herself, John Frankenheimer's wife (as Evans Frankenheimer), Kristi Frankenheimer as Herself, John Frankenheimer's daughter, and Frank Mancuso, Jr. as Himself.  Sound recordist: Frank Zambetti.

Frankenhood - With Charlie Murphy as Franklin (as Charles Q. Murphy), and Bob Sapp as Frankie.  Music by Frankie Blue.

Frankenhooker - With David Lipman as Frankenhooker's Trick.  Directed and co-written by Frank Henenlotter, who also appears as Passenger (uncredited) and did some additional photography... which was probably catered by him.  Executive in Charge of Production: Frank K. Isaac.  Structural Carpenter: Frank Guglielmo.  Production Assistant: Frank D'Aurio Jr..

Frankenkinder - With Marla Dallman as Baby Frank

Frankenpants - With Hudson Jasper as Doctor Henry Von Frankenpants / Receptionist.  Also with Linnea Rainford as Sam Von Frankenpants.

"Frankenpenis" - With John Wayne Bobbitt as Frankenpenis.  Also with Veronica Brazil as Bride of Frankenpenis and Ron Jeremy as... oops.  You know, I try to avoid this sort of thing, believe it or not.  Even in this day and age.  But John Wayne Bobbitt was a big deal at one time.  I remember, because all the late night talk shows at the time went... let's just say they noticed the story.  Why, I believe even Billy Connolly said it's like... because his name is John Wayne, it's like you're, um... let's say, maiming the duke.  And... wait.  Did I see that correctly?  Ice-T is in this turkey?  Why... why is Ice-T in this turkey?  Nice, clean-cut Ice-T?  Oh well.  I don't understand it.  It's like he's trying to stay on the fringes of showbiz.  But even Sylvester Stallone and Sophia Loren started out in skin flicks, I guess.  Why not Ice as well.

Frankenpimp - With Danny Fisher as Dr. Frank N. Swine.  Special thanks: David J. Francis and ... really?  Frank MillerTHE Frank Miller?  As in Frank Miller Frank Miller?  Well, better this than a Merchant Ivory production, I guess.

And of course, the sequel: Frankenpimp's Revenge: The Romeo and Juliet Massacre - With Francesco De Francesco as Chico the Dockside John (as FRANKIE de Francesco).  Also co-directed by Francesco De Francesco.  Special thanks: Jesús Franco.

Frankenstein '80 - With Gordon Mitchell as Dr. Otto Frankenstein.  Also with Xiro Papas as Mosaic... the Frankenstein Monster.

Frankenstein (1910) - With Augustus Phillips as Frankenstein (uncredited)

Frankenstein (1931) - With Colin Clive as Henry Frankenstein, and with Frederick Kerr as Baron Frankenstein.  Also with Francis Ford as Hans (uncredited).  Screenplay by Francis Edward Faragoh.  Props by Franz Dallons (uncredited).  Electrical Effects Assistant: Frank Graves (uncredited).

Frankenstein (2011) - With Benedict Cumberbatch AND Jonny Lee Miller as The Creature / Victor Frankenstein.  Also with Haydon Downing as William Frankenstein (as Hayden Downing), Will Nye as William Frankenstein (as William Nye), Jared Richard as William Frankenstein, and George Harris as M. Frankenstein... oh, this was a stage production, so it might not count.  Oh well.

Frankenstein (2011) - With Lee Godwin as Victor Frankenstein.  Also with Kayla Elizabeth as Elizabeth Frankenstein, Chris Party as William Frankenstein (as Chris Wietrzykowski), and Haydon Downing as William Frankenstein.

Frankenstein (2014) - With David Finlay as Victor Frankenstein.  Also with Anastasia Bruce-Jones as Elizabeth Frankenstein.

...what's kind of interesting about this group, from probably strictly a numerological perspective, is a lot of these titles' IMDb numbers end in the same two digits... okay, only two groups of two, but still!

Frankenstein - With Adrian Pezdirc as Victor Frankenstein. 

"Frankenstein" - With Mark Jax as Victor Frankenstein's father (2 episodes).  Also with Peter Simun as Father Francis (2 episodes).  Also with Frantisek Trochta as Officer #1 (2 episodes).  Also with Daniel Williams as William Frankenstein (2 episodes).  Post-production Coordinator (2 Episodes, 2004): Frank Sharp

"Frankenstein" - With Robert Powell as Victor Frankenstein.  Also with Terence Alexander as Alphonse Frankenstein.  Also with Graham McGrath as William Frankenstein. 

"Frankenstein" - With Carl Beck as Victor Frankenstein.  Also with Oliver Osterberg as Alphonse Frankenstein (as Ollie Osterberg). 

"Frankenstein" - With Patrick Bergin as Dr. Victor Frankenstein.  Stunts (as Franklin Henson): Mark Henson

...all right, fun part's over, numerologically speaking.

"Frankenstein" - With Helen McCrory as Dr. Victoria Frankenstein. 

Frankenstein 1970 - With Boris Karloff as Baron Victor von Frankenstein.  Also with Franz Roehn as Cab Driver (uncredited).  Sound: Francis E. Stahl

Frankenstein 2000 - Ritorno dalla morte - With Mark Frank as Kurt.  Also with Martin Dansky as Dr. Frankenstein. 

Frankenstein 90 - Avec Jean Rochefort son Victor Frankenstein, et Eddy Mitchell son Frank.  Costume Design by: Françoise Disle.  Production Assistant (as Jean-Francois Geneux): Jean-François Geneix... hmm.  Must be a French production or sumpthin'.

Frankenstein all'italiana - With Gianrico Tedeschi as Dr. Frankenstein.  Co-written by: Massimo Franciosa.

Wednesday, February 28, 2018

Auteur Watch - William Greaves

Whelp, if nothing else, Mr. Greaves was responsible for one of the greatest titles in recent cinematic history: Symbiopsychotaxiplasm.  Sure, arguably not as cool as Stan Brakhage's classic Pneumonoultramicroscopic-silicovolcanocoliosis or perhaps even as wordy as one of Henry Jaglom's early efforts entitled... I think it was Antidisestablishmentarianism.  Probably.  This was when he used to leave the house to make a movie, of course.  What's the point now? 
Oh, but Greaves was only beginning to rock the world of the documentary...

A Handle on the Moment

Another missed deadline.  This is why I never get anywhere, either in life or in my career.  But another box office has come and gone already, and is it just me or is the fare getting a little more violent these days?  I'm a pretty regular user of the IMDb, and these violent yet strangely seductive ads for a Heathers reboot on something calling itself "The Paramount Network" is/am/are/was/were all over the place... they're not trying to make cannibalism sexy, are they?  Then there's this other thing called ... nope, forgot the title already, but it's one of Anton Yelchin's last last movies.  Hollywood lags behind the working dead like that sometimes... John Candy, for example, only when you get a death like John Candy's, a fight breaks out over which one is his last last movie.  Haven't seen the likes of that for a while.  Thoroughbreds, that's it!  A pretty strongly advertised first feature from someone making a debut of sorts on the world stage!  Then we've got this week's top debut at the Box Office: Jason Bateman's Latest... I mean, it's called Game Night.  And with returns like this it will no doubt spawn a few sequels, probably a Netflix / Amazon spin-off / prequel series or two, maybe a couple co-branding deals with Milton Bradley, Hasbro and or the Parker Brothers.  And of course, whoever's behind that douche-y Cranium game.  That's the best one.  Cards Against Humanity hasn't gone mainstream yet... at least, not that mainstream.  All the cool people know and love it, of course.  A little bloodshed; that's all they want out of their entertainment.
Meanwhile, in second place, it's something called Annihilation.  Again with the promise of bloodshed!  Almost makes me wish that Kirk Cameron was making a sequel to Saving Christmas.  Sure, it would be ridiculous as a February release, but man!  Gimme one glimmer of hope here!  Anyway, Annihilation is the story of a wife whose husband goes missing, so she has to go looking for him, and... oh, I've probably given away too much already.  So does the plot description.  For those of you cynics out there like me, it's also the story of Natalie Portman not having the strength of a franchise like Resident Evil or Underworld to fall back upon in, especially in the lean times like this.  Ouch!
And finally, debuting at the wrong end of the box office, it's something called Every Day.  Here's the one-line plot description: "A shy teenager falls for someone who transforms into another person every day."  Now, sure, you're thinking Groundhog Day or 50 First Dates or something like that, and why couldn't this be as popular as those movies were... on the other hand, people forget their high school years sometimes.  Ever find yourself hanging with the wrong people?  Or seeking out people that didn't seem as boring as the people in the Chess Club?  All while trying to manage your own internal turmoil... exciting times!  Not to mention finding either a) yourself having to move because of the Army or because of the nature of your parents' douche-y corporate jobs, or b) your best friend under those circumstances.  I think that's what the filmmakers were going after, but also trying to siphon off of the magic of The Spectacular Now... the good parts, not all that boring stuff where even the people in the focus groups fell asleep.  A little emotional bloodshed; that's all they want out of their nonfiction-based entertainment...
Which brings me in a roundabout way to this week's civil rights march.  I'm going to pick up a couple of scraps that "The Daily Show" left for me, because it seems that the NRA is losing some of its hard-fought institutional "rights"... maybe more like perks or privileges.  See, there were a bunch of companies that would give NRA members certain discounts on services and what not.  Airlines, for one.  But they showed a picture of a bunch of corporate logos, and I couldn't help but notice a large amount of car rental companies that gave such NRA discounts.  Makes me think of that line about "speedy trials," for some reason.  Because NRA members deserve to have a speedy getaway car that's practically untraceable.  Just be careful with it; don't get stupid on us.  Don't leave fingerprints or spatters of blood after using our rental cars or anything, please.  Unfortunately, the Parkland students have to go back to their lives to try and rebuild.  They're heading back to school, which the people over at Fox News are surely relieved about.  They don't care for high school students that achieve national celebrity in general, but especially not ones fighting against the Second Amendment.  As for me, I'm doing my part by posting cinematic images of gun nuts in movies going off the rails.  This first one, of course, is from what is perhaps Todd Solondz's masterpiece, Happiness... although you might not know it from the composed music.  This is, of course, from a dream sequence, being described to a psychologist, no less!  I was pleasantly surprised that my local hippie-esque video store even had it; I don't get to drive to Seattle as much as I used to... well, I used to live in Seattle, but that was a different era completely.  DVDs were still being made, even VHS was still available to an extent in stores.  Oh, but there I go again!  Glennis would have to leave me... That's my new favorite line this year.

Sunday, February 18, 2018

Auteur Watch - F. Gary Gray

I've probably said/blogged this before, but you hang around long enough, even in a shark-infested swamp like Hollywood, learn to play the game a little... and BOOM!  You get the coveted job of directing a "Fast and Furious" sequel.  Forgive me... Fast and Furious.  Didn't John Singleton do one of those?  ...why, yes he did!  Thanks, IMDb!  Of course, having a debut like Friday under your belt doesn't exactly hurt, either.  Keep the star happy, keep the producers happy... that's basically the game, and probably its name as well.  Then you can go be an artist.  Once you have enough hits.  Like Spielberg!  Of course, every film a director does is a work of art... even the ones with Marky Mark, I suppose.  But after all the music videos he did, I suppose Be Cool was his little jab at it.  Just a light, loving jab in case he ever has to go back.  I'm sure Elmore Leonard knows more about music videos than F. Gary Gray, but still, I suppose another point of view doesn't hurt.  Or maybe David Fincher was unavailable.
But if his IMDb birthday is to be believed, Mr. Gray is dangerously close to the not-so-nifty age of 50.  Just ask Bowfinger! ...damn my lack of HTML experience.  Note to self: make a billion damn dollars by creating a special HTML tag that says, like... you know, # Go To the Word "Smell".  Ah, who'm I kidding?  Those billionaires keep it all to theyselves.  On the upside, not all these CEOs can afford to give themselves one dollar a year!
And so, Mr. Gray has had two big hits back-to-back: Straight Outta Compton and The Fate of the Furious.  Surely there's one more title to make this a trilogy, you're asking?  Well, the answer is yes, I just found out!  Thanks again, IMDb!  I'm so glad I didn't have to invent you myself... most of the time.  Damn, can't find it.  Never mind.  Anyway, hope he likes sequels and/or spin-offs!  The Powers that Be are firing up a Men in Black spinoff, and Mr. Gray gets to do the first one.  We don't have any cast information yet, but he's probably not too much in control of that.  As long as you come in under budget, ahead of schedule, don't get tired of the Green Screen room, and are able to say it was either like a Clint Eastwood set or a Coen brothers set... you'll do/be just fine.  Do/Be?  Doo-be-doobie doo!  Boy, I hope I don't have that Superflu.  That's one of the signs.  Sorry, Boss, might be calling in sick tomorrow.

(ten minutes later) ...HAH!  Found it.  Oh boy, fresh ravings.  I mean, check THIS guy out!  Either he's the Highlander or... nah, can't be it.  But it could be!  I mean, the Powers that Be that run the IMDb clearly have bigger fish to fry.  I submitted a work ticket for this guy, but still nothing.  Too much of a pain to fix, apparently.  But look at this guy's résumé!  I mean, LOOK AT IT!!!!!!!!  A hundred years old and he's now a sound recordist?  Dang.  Strong union!  Or maybe he's got motel pictures on someone.

Always Bet on Black

As expected, Black Panther is #1 at the box office... a lot!  Well, they did run a pretty big ad campaign for it.  And the IMDb helped out a little bit too.  I forget what product they were selling, but it was definitely top shelf, don't kid yourselves.  Anyway, this will hopefully finally settle any debates people might be having on social media (particular) and the internet (generally).  Black Panther is black enough.  I mean... T'Challa?  That's more black than Shabazz!  Spider-Man is white, but Peter Parker's not an especially white name.  Not as white as, say... Rutherford van Geraldictine.  And the film clocks in at over 2 hours, so it's probably long enough.  But the sequel better be about 3 hours, to keep apace with films like The Dark Knight and The Dark Knight Rises.  Another area of white privilege: why do the white superhero movies get to be 3 hours?
But let's take a second to acknowledge the director of Black Panther, whose name is... I hate to keep being a Name-ist, but 1) it is becoming my religion, and 2) the dude's name is Ryan Coogler.  Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.  Coogler directing Black Panther?  That's like an ice cream guy named Cone!  But Coogler's made the subtle transition from serious drama (Fruitvale Station) to semi-superhero movie (Creed) to Black Panther, an out-and-out superhero movie.  Now it's time to throw it all away with a movie based on an article.  Tentative title?  Wrong Answer.  But so far it's got the faint aroma of Oscar, so maybe it's time someone took a stand and delivered this movie to us.
Our second debut this week was the much-advertised-on-the-IMDb latest from claymeister Nick Park called Early Man.  Must be British cavemen judging from the teeth.  Alas, they picked the wrong venues to advertise or something.  What, no one wants to be swept away by the cinema anymore?  You know how long it takes to make something like that out of clay?  CLAY, for God's sake?  In this day and age?  What, people just like The Croods that much more?  You'll accept no alternate spin on the animated caveman genre?  Or are people just so lazy that they merely dial up THIS on YouTube for their caveman needs?  No one gets dressed up anymore; no one ventures outside the cave to risk going out to the local (movie) theatre to see stories, true or otherwise, about their ancient relatives.  But there's no reason why movie producers shouldn't try anyway!  The way tax laws are going, they'll be able to write it off as a business expense: "Line 35A: Unprofitable movie production activities deduction.  Attach Form 8666F."  Form 8666F will be mainly a series of check boxes: was your movie about a) cavemen, b) the '70s, c) features a scene with cars getting on or off a ferry.
The last debut this week is an oldie but a goodie.  It's a remake of Samson and Delilah... rather, I should say that old Biblical story about Samson and Delilah.  This one's called Samson.  Alas, it debuted at the wrong end of the Top 10.  You can fool those old Church-goers some of the time, but not when it comes to movies, oh no.  They know.  Passion of the Christ?  Good.  Last Temptation of Christ?  Bad.  Fireproof and Courageous?  Even Saving Christmas?  Good.  Noah, Exodus: Gods and Kings and this?  Bad.  They know when to get on the bus and when ... when to not.  Something like that.  Besides, it's nothing to do with Jesus, so who cares.  They even tried co-branding, but to no avail.  You know, brought to you by Samsung and what not.  Samsung.  KA-BOOOOMMMM!!!!
And what's the deal with all these Taylors already?  Taylor Lautner, Taylor Kitsch... and now Taylor James.  No, not the singer, that's James Taylor.  Whatever happened to Niki Taylor?  For more information about Niki Taylor, go to her official website here.  Or just straight to the photosMagazine covers, Cover Girl (ads), Fashion, Beauty... all the categories are there... I think I got sidetracked again.

Sunday, February 11, 2018

Auteur Watch - Laurens Grant

I know, I know... someday I'll get to an auteur I actually do care about.  What then?  Meantime, I've got Laurens Grant.  Well, someone's got to expand my horizons, why not then?  We'll start with their latest and greatest title: "Stay Woke: The Black Lives Matter Movement."  Oh, I'm woke A.F. least, that's what I keep telling my boss when they ask me if I'm going full speed or not.  But personally I think Saturday Night Live's Leslie Jones ruined the whole "Woke" movement for me when she did that show sponsored by Breitbart News.  But I'll get back to the right place eventually.

...okay, I'm back.  I'm thinking now that... not to be too glib and or dismissive, but Laurens' IMDb résumé is impressive.  Laurens is sticking to all the right subjects... but haven't they already been done before?  They've been done before, just not in HD with Surround Sound yet.

Today We Say Goodbye to a Legend

An unfortunate weekend this weekend for moviegoers in particular, and the general public in specific... something like that.  Not to mention the families of the recently departed.  But they live on forever on video, of course.  I'm talking about Reg E. Cathey, probably most recently best known for his appearances on that show we can't talk about anymore... but I'll mention the title anyway.  "Outcast"... there!  I said it.  Oops, I mean "House of Cards."  Well, he got himself out of the tangled web of that show just in time, anyway.  But as you can see, I'm including a still from What About Bob? because that's when he first came onto my own personal radar.  Ah, nostalgia.  How I cling to you when the house isn't a beehive of activity... oh, right, and John Mahoney as well.  I'm a little disappointed that he didn't get the chance to play Joseph Gordon-Levitt's father in something.  No, this episode of "3rd Rock From the Sun" is as close as we're gonna git now!
Anyway, back to the current box office.  It's close to Valentine's Day, and the release of the final installment of the Fifty Shades of Grey saga is at #1.  Remember when the first one came out?  And to counter the arguments that people made about Trump's infidelities, someone came up with the idea to cite Fifty Shades of Grey and its success as proof that... something.  I think it was to prove that Trump's infidelities are okay, because of Fifty Shades of Grey.  I guess because the data breach over at Ashley Madison was too long ago, or less legitimate somehow.  Well, depending on the ending of this final installment, arguments will have to be amended.  I understand, and my sources confirmed this, that the filmmakers were scrambling at the last minute to include a Stormy Daniels-inspired subplot at the last minute.  But, you know... they're no Ridley Scott, and this is no mere matter of Gumping out Kevin Spacey as J. Paul Getty, and replacing him with Christopher Plummer.  But director James Foley is/was/continues to be until the #MeToo movement gets him, a director of some esteem.  Not as hard-working as brother Jerry who had to deal with that huge pain-in-the-you know what David Letterman lo those many months, but hard working.  He knows where to place a camera, to be sure... usually behind a dark object, and having it come out from behind it to introduce the next scene... nothing for it on YouTube yet.  I gotta do everything myself.
At second this week, following the success of the Paddington sequel, now comes Peter Rabbit.  Now, I don't watch the James Corden show, but now that I took a look at the cast list, I'm thinking he put in a plug or two for it.  Every little bit helps.  But as with such things, I can't help but wonder what would round out the trilogy.  What old British faerie tale will be next to get the modern digital video CGI treatment?  Peter Cottontail?  Is there a third Alice in Wonderland book?  Will the Jabberwocky get an upgrade after one to two generations now?  ...that's the last one I got.
The last debut this week is Hollywood auteur Clint Eastwood's latest.  He's been directing a new film on an average of one per year for a while now, but now that he's going to be 88 in May, well... I guess it's time to slow down a bit.  The 15:17 to Paris took a bit longer because apparently the cast is filled with the actual victims... maybe a few of the actual perpetrators even!  Looks like Alek, Anthony and Spencer were actually on the train... they play characters with the same name.  They take longer to direct... once they get out of the speedy acting courses taught by people who've only heard of Stella Adler and... you know, Al Pacino's friend.  The guy who played ... that guy.  Meyer Lansky?  If only I had access to some sort of database... THOMAS LENNON?  Boy, how time flies.  I keep forgetting that "Reno 911"'s Lieutenant Jim Dangle is a serious actor now.  It'll take me a while, but I'll remember it eventually... then forget it again.  No room for his buddies in the film, I guess.  Ah, opportunity cost is a harsh mistress.  But kudos to Clint Eastwood from stealing this story out from under Luc Besson's nose.  Figures, don't it?  Besson's been trafficking in made-up stories about terrorists forever; now here comes the perfect true story for him to ruin, and he misses out.
Whelp, the things that float in front of my eyes are telling me it's way past time to quit... what are those things?  Little bacterium that float in front of your eyes.  You can see them better with a blue fluorescent light of some kind.  As my years are advancing, a little faster than I would have hoped, a couple of those floater thingies seem to be getting more aggressive.  One of them looks like a bunch of balloons tied together, only the ones I got aren't continuing up into the sky.  Maybe I should get some of that Lasik (TM) surgery they keep talking about.  The only downside is I won't get to say "Hey, you wouldn't hit a guy with Lasik (TM) surgery, would ya?  I mean... glasses, wouldja?"  See, doesn't have the same ring to it.  Same with contact lenses.

Sunday, February 04, 2018

Auteur Watch - Corey Grant

Oh, I LOVE him!  North by Northwest, The Philadelphia Experiment... oh, wait.  No, it's someone else entirely.  Oh well.
Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for the guy.  I mean, if you're going to get a Masters degree, it might as well be in film.  Not many have worked with Stacey Dash and lived to tell the tale.  Unfortunately, due to several nondisclosure agreements, Corey won't be able to tell that particular story until ... let's see, that was 2012, so I'm going to say 2037.
If you're a fan of director biographies on the IMDb, Corey's is a typical example of an up and comer that you should watch out for.  One point that sort of separates it from the pack is a personal quote: "Stand behind your work and not in front of it."  Which might seem like cowardice at first, but I suppose it's true when you're an artist giving birth to art.  However, this biography seems a bit like Corey's standing in front of his work to me, but what do I know?
Incidentally, here's the trailer for Scrapbooks on YouTube, if you're interested... and you should be.  Did you know the director put together this trailer, and did the titles in Final Cut Pro?  He didn't have to, of course, but as a big-time film director, some tasks best not be left to the help.  Did you know that?  ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!!!!


Let me just start with the following Brain Fart (TM)... if you're like me, scary thought I know, you've probably been on the IMDb a lot, double-checking that your links are good.  Seems like a lot of 'em aren't, or they're doubles / re-directs.  Typical database for you.  But I've been seeing a lot of ads for two things: 1) "The Alienist" with an older, wiser Dakota Fanning... she's finally catching up to Amy Poehler's occasional portrayal of her on old "SNL" episodes, as the kids abbreviate it these days.  A little disappointed they weren't on this week; I've come to rely on the latest comedy inoculation for the virus-laden reality we live in today.  And second, it's Josh Duhamel's latest project called "Web of Fries."  It's been getting a lot of IMDb ad space, so I started to notice it in the midst of the little game I'm running.  You know, in search of a good time, just running my game.  The tag line seemed clever enough: "They DON'T want you to have fries with that."  Oh, this goes all the way to the top.  No fries, no second scoop of ice cream... but wait a minute.  Long story short, it's a big Taco Bell(TM) ad!  Just one big ad!  So I guess the real question is, it's time to play "America's Next SECOND Big-Time Celebrity to Take On a Full-Fledged Ad Campaign for a Major Corporation."  Who could it be?  Clay AikenRobin Lord Taylor?  Maybe David Patrick Kelly will come out of retirement to play a sufficiently menacing role.  On the bright side, Duhamel's finally given up the ghost and learned to love playing a dad.  Sigh; no more dates with Tad Hamilton, I suppose.  Had to happen eventually.
As for this week's box office, there's only one debut, and it's about the Winchester house.  FINALLY, it's being given the horror CGI treatment it deserves.  I've actually been on the tour!  Just shows to go ya, you stick around long enough in Hollywood, and your ship will come in!  Of course, having a coupla A-Listers in the cast doesn't hurt.  We got Helen Mirren and... someone else.  I just realized that Winchester's official IMDb page isn't getting the full IMDb treatment.  They're annoying, but it's fun to find the 'X' to click on to disable the Flash animation, or HTML 5 or whatever it is now.  Sigh... no more Flash.  Okay, so according to the poster, Jason Clarke and Sarah Snook... tee hee hee... are the other A-Listers that round out the already bulging cast.  Funny story... here's how Helen Mirren ended up taking the role.  She asked "Who's directing?"  And the tinny voice on the other end of the line said "Michael and Peter Spierig."  And she replied "Steven Spielberg?  I'll do it!"  A little disappointed to find out who actually was directing, but... meh.  A paycheck's a paycheck.  Besides, hanging around the house with a sulking Taylor Hackford's no fun.  Look, they're going to be called casting "DIRECTORS" sooner or later, so get over yourself!

Thursday, February 01, 2018

Short Reviews - February 2018

A.W.O.L. - With Scott K. Leslie as Sheldon's Brother Frank

Absolute Killers - With Patrick G. Keenan as Frank

Across My Land - With Timothy V. Murphy as Frank

An Act of War - With Joseph R. Gannascoli as Frank

"Agent Carter" "A View in the Dark" - With Carl W. Crudup as Frank

Alive or Dead - With L. Flint Esquerra as Frank

"America's Deadliest Home Video" - With Michael S. Thompson as Frank

"American Horror Story" "Chapter 6" - With William R. Moses as Frank

Anacapa - With Robert D. Steffen as Frank

And They Call It Puppy Love - With Michael T. Ybarra as Frank

Angela - With Rodger L. Phillips as Frank

The Attic Expeditions - With Michael A. Gemme as Frank

"Avenging Disco Vampires" - With K. C. Jacobs as Frank

Bahay ni Lola - With Allan K. as Frank

The Beginning - With Bruce St. Martin as Frank

Big Miracle - With Thomas R. Daly as Frank

The Big Steal - With Frankie J. Holden as Frank

A Birthday Card - With Tim D. Walker as Frank

"The Blue Knight" "The Pink Dragon" - With William C. Coleman as Frank

"Boston Common" "A Night in Camelot" - With John A. Zoida as Frank

Boundaries of Attraction - With Michael W. Fontana as Frank

Boxed Out - With John J. Pistone as Frank

Break - With Martyn G. Krouse as Frank

Bridgebuilders - With Bill D. Russell as Frank

Bury the Dog - With Joseph E. Murray as Frank

By the Gun - With Brian A. White as Frank

Calamari Union (Remake) - With ... the cast entire as Frank.  That's a first!

Carnival of Souls - With Richard C. Hawkes as Frank

"Caroline in the City" "Caroline and the Booby Trap" - With S. Frog S. Marc Jordan as Frank

Certain Death - With R. Brian Falkner as Frank

Chasing the Sun - With Raul S. Julia as Frank

Chimeras - With Kevin J. O'Connor as Frank

The Church of Phil - With R. Shane Bingham as Frank

Code Name Abdul - With Rome K. Chopra as Frank

"Cold Case" "The Dealer" - With Edward C. Gillow as Frank

Cold Room - With T. Maxwell Smith as Frank

"Cold Sweat" - With Patrick St. Esprit as Frank

Collide - With Bradley J. Birnie as Frank

Conundrum! - With Kalen J. Hall as Frank

Cop-Out - With Lawrence L. Simeone as Frank

Dark Leaves - With Robert G. Slade as Frank

Dark Streets - With Howard S. Miller as Frank

"Dead Serious" - With C. Stephen Foster as Frank

Deadwood Park - With Joseph R. Engel as Frank

Dear Santa - With Robert J. Vogl as Frank

"Dorogoy Malchik" - With V. Vakhlin as Pete Georgie Dim Frank

"Dream Street" "Money for Nothing" - With James A. Baffico as Dire Straits Frank

The Dreamer - With David R. Jarrott as Frank

The Dying - With Michael W. Mahoney as Frank

"The Enid Blyton Adventure Series" "Circus of Adventures" - With Wayne E. Lutton as Frank

Every Moment - With Francisco C. Torres as Frank

The Ex - With Barry W. Levy as Frank

"Faking It" "Homecoming Out" - With Anthony M. Bertram as Frank

"Family Matters" "Scammed" - With Mark L. Taylor as Frank

Flight of the Living Dead - With Kevin J. O'Connor as Frank.  Also featuring Richard Tyson as Paul Rudd... Judd.  Ashley Judd.  Paul Judd.

Four O'Clock - With Michael Z. Keamey as Frank

Frank and Azalee Austin - With Kareem M. Lucas as Frank

Frank's Book - With John C. Reilly as Frank

Freak on a Moped - With John R. Sexton as Frank

"Für immer ein Mörder - Der Fall Ritter" - Mitt Lukas T. Berglund als Frank.  Auch mit Hinnerk Schönemann als Frank Vulf Wolf.

Game Seven - With Bradley E. Mittelman as Frank

"Gilmore Girls" "Say Something" - With Dale E. Turner as Frank

The Girl in the Green Dress - With Brian R. Norris as Frank

The Golden Donut - With Allen D. Edwards as Frank

A Good Catch - With Francis X. Bushman as Frank

Good Enough - With Manuel von E. Dixen as Frank

Good Taste - With William A. Carlson as Frank

Grace This Way - With Stephen F. Schmidt as Frank

Heart of the Dragon - With Stevie J. Hennessey as Frank

High Desert - With Edward B. Glinski as Frank

Hit List - With Peter D. Johnston as Frank

"Hogzilla" - With William A. Butland as Frank

Hollow Road - ...and the lightning strikes.  I mean, with W. Patrick Martin as Frank

"I Didn't Do It" "Doggie Daddy" - With Tom G. McMahon as Frank

"If Loving You Is Wrong" - With Donielle T. Hansley Jr. as Frank (10 episodes)

In the Name of My Father - With Anthony L. Gilardi as Frank

Inner Demons the Thrillogy - With Fritz J. Noble as Frank

Inner Rage - With Ronald J. Zambor as Frank

Investigation of a Dog - With Steven R. Barron as Frank

JDS - Jedem Das Seine - Mitt David O. Riedel als Frank

Journey to Paradise - With Ken T. Williams as Frank

"Jury" "Gerald" - With Nelson E. Ward as Frank

"Just Shoot Me!" - With Kevin P. Farley as Frank (5 episodes... okay, okay, 3 as Frank, one as Fireman Frank, one as Cowboy)

Kejar America - With David M. Wallace as Frank

"Kraft Theatre" "Welcome to a Stranger" - With David J. Stewart as Frank

Kuwait - With Hafid F. Benamar as Frank

The Lady in Red - With Joseph X. Flaherty as Frank

Landing Up - With James K. Fulater as Frank

"The Leftovers" "Two Boats and a Helicopter" - With Alan R. Rodriguez as Frank

Let There Be Light - With David Z. Roberts as Frank

"The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams" "The Redemption of Ben" - With Earl W. Smith as Frank

The Local - With David F. Nighbert as Frank

Lock 'n' Load - With Matthew J. Conger as Frank

"The Loop" "The Year of the Dog" - With D. Elliot Woods as Frank

Love Thy Neighbour to Death - With Robert J. Conant as Frank

Lucky U Ranch - With Michael A. Candela as Frank

"MacGyver" "The Challenge" - With Charles K(ristian). Pitts as Frank

The Matador - With Michael J. Fox Labbadia as Frank.  Also with Nick Thies as Frank, Young

Merchant of Evil - With George A. Bryant as Frank

"Midlife" - With Morris L. Walker as Frank

Miss B's Hair Salon - With J. Horton as Frank

The Moneymaker - With James C. Burns as Frank

The Next Three Days 3 Days to Kill The Next Two Nights - With James K. Fulater as Frank

Nibble - With Scott F. Evans as Frank

Nico's Sampaguita - With Rico E. Anderson as Frank

Night of the Living - With Hardee T. Lineham as Frank

Not the Profile - With Thomas F. Evans as Frank

Office Batman - With Tyler R. Riggs as Frank

One More Round - With Stephen C. Sepher as Frank

Paradise Lost - With Steven T. Robinson as Frank

Pawnshop - With Lee J. Campbell as Frank

A Perfect Pitch - With John A. Razzano as Frank.  Also with Alan Zino as Frank's Bodyguard.

"Pini" "Sunglasses" - With Robert H. Wainwright as Frank

Pink Eye - With Kevin L. Bright as Frank

Pledge of Innocence - With Thomas R. Martin as Frank

The Punished - With Fritz J. Noble as Frank

Quicksands - With J. Warren Kerrigan as Frank

Rabid Weight Loss - With John F. Beach as Frank

"Reba" "Best Li'l Haunted House in Texas" - With Andrew W. Walker as Frank

Repaid - With Jared M. Gordon as Frank

The Return of Tommy Tricker - With Charles V. Doucet as Frank

Rosy Takes the Stage - With J. Michael Ferniany as Frank

Run Chrissie Run! / Money Hunters - With Roger L. Howell as Frank

"$chitt's Creek" "Dead Guy in Room 4" - With David J. MacNeil as Frank

"The Scottish Play" - With David S. Hogan as Frank (6 Episodes)

Second Chance - With W. Keith Scott as Frank

The Secrets That I Found - With Benjamin J. Edwards as Frank

Serena and the Ratts - With Christopher J. Davis as Frank

Sever - With Joseph F. Meacham as Frank

Shelf Life - With Clay St. Thomas as Frank

Shuffles - With Archie D. Williams as Frank

Silence - With Richard S. Sargent as Frank

Simba - With Anthony M. Bertram as Frank

"The Six Million Dollar Man" - With Quinn K. Redeker as Frank (6 episodes)

So, What's in Jericho? - With E. Patrick Corbett as Frank

Speakeasy to Me - With Julian J. Fernandez as Frank

Static - With J. Ryan as Frank

Stitch in Time - With Michael X. Sommers as Frank

"Superstore" - With Rodney J. Hobbs as Frank (2 Episodes)

Table Manners: The Horror Comedy That Sings - With J. Colin Crawford as Frank

"Tales From the Crypt" "Curiosity Killed" - With Marshall R. Teague as Frank

Terminal Island - With Scott L. Schwartz as Frank

Terms and Conditions May Apply - With Justin C. Schilling as Frank

That Sun - With J. Emerson McGowan as Frank

That's E - With David R. Reid as Frank.  Also with Briahna Gilbert as Franks Daughter [sic].

They Die Lovely - With Edward M. Miller as Frank... also with Edward Miller as Frank.  Wonder if they're related.

"Thomas P." - Med Anders T. Andersen som Frank (5 episodes)

Til Death Do Us Apart - With Shailesh B. Trivedi as Frank

"Too Close For Comfort" "Shipmates" - With Gerald S. O'Loughlin as Frank

Too Many Holes - With Kevin J. Grotz as Frank

20 Something - With Robert J. D'Amato as Frank

"21 Jump Street" "Chapel of Love" - With Don (S.) Davis as Frank

"The Ugly Duckling and Me!" - With Morgan C. Jones as Ratso / Frank (4 episodes confirmed...)

"Valerie" - With Arnold F. Turner as Frank (4 episodes)

Whaling City - With Robert D. Murphy as Frank

What Are the Chances? - With Dan L. Porter as Frank

What Is - With Robert G. Silverman as Frank

White Lie - With Joel D. Wynkoop as Frank

Wild - With W. Earl Brown as Frank

The Wrath of Norm Polanski - With Dave T. Koenig as Frank

Yesterday's Forecast - With Brian J. Coffey as Frank

Chloe - With R. H. Thomson as Frank

"Compromising Situations" "First Time Caller" - With J. T. Maguire as Frank

Cromax's Curse - With J. R. Mangels as Frank

The Crooked Eye - With D. C. Douglas as Frank

Darker Suggestion - With C. R. Oberlin as Frank

"Deadbeat" "The Polaroid Flasher" - With J. D. Williams as Frank

Do You Like My Basement - With P. J. Williamson as Frank

"The Equalizer" "Shades of Darkness" - With J. J. Johnston as Frank

Fate - With C. W. Chandler as Frank

Footsteps - With J. R. Starr as Frank

Free Fall - With D. B. Sweeney as Frank

"General Hospital" - With R. J. Adams as Frank (2 episodes)

It's What Artists Do - With E. J. Subkoviak as Frank... and apparently, as the Artist, as he or she's the only one in the cast

"Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" "Undercover Mother" - With D. K. Bowser as Frank

Le Teen Nikita - With J. T. Richardson as Frank... Also with Luc Besson as Executive Producer.  Don't tell him tho!

Lindsey - With Morgan I. P. Fics as Frank

"Malcolm in the Middle" "Malcolm's Car" - With J. T. Kubala as Frank

Matched - With L. J. Grillo as Frank

"Men at Work" "The Good, The Bad & The Milo" - With J. P. Manoux as Frank

"Nina Needs to Go" - With J. J. Totah as Frank (15 episodes)... and after reading the plot description, I think I need to go, too.  I'm off to find A MORE WHIMSICAL PLOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Patriot - With L. Q. Jones as Frank

"Some Kinda Woman" - With S. A. Griffin as Frank and, as of this writing, this one's his main IMDb photo.  Why doesn't Terry Bradshaw follow this guy's sterling egg-zample?

Soulmates - With R. D. Mower as Frank

Street Language - With J. T. Richardson as Frank

Spring Breakers Student Loaners - With E. J. Tangonan as Frank

"That '80s Show" "Tuesday Comes Over" - With T. J. Thyne as Frank

Under the City - With D. J. Howard as Frank

Until Morning - With S. E. Perry as Frank

"Wizards of Waverly Place" "Halloween" - With Stephen A. F. Day as Frank

Woe - With T. J. McIntyre as Frank

¿Puedo Llamarte Carlitos? - Protagonizada por Vitelio Almeida como Frank

#27 - With Carter Ferguson as Frank

10 - With Bo Derek Evan Davis as Frank

"10 millions cash" - Avec Olivier Schneider son Frank

10 Seconds - With Rob Wilds as Frank.  Also featuring Judy Jackson as Frank's Wife.

100 Degrees Below Zero - With Steve Carlson as Frank

1000 Words - With George Kopecky as Frank

11 P.M. - With Manuel Renken as Frank

11:14 - With Patrick Swayze as Frank

1126 - Med Oddbjørn Hesjevoll som Frank

1132 Pleasant Street - With Mark Gibbon as Frank.  Also with Lucas Fassbender as Young Frank.

"12 steden, 13 ongelukken" "Een slechte partij (Ermelo)" - Med Rik Launspach som Frank

"12 steden, 13 ongelukken" "Een verstoorde droom (Vlaardingen)" - Med Eric van Sauers som Frank

13 Friday St [sic] - With Ben Cooper as Frank

"13 Stories TV Originals" "A Child's Crusade" - With Holden Haas as Frank

"1313: Wicked Stepbrother" - With Kayde McMullen as Frank (... I'm Facebook friends with the director, so...)

"15:52" - With Daniel Flood as Frank

"18 D" - With Carmine Caridi as Frank... Also with Vera Lockwood as Fran.

"18-Year-Old Virgin" - With Alberto Alvarado as Frank

1962 - With Steve Bakken as Frank

"1985-1986" - With Paul Saitowitz as Frank

"1st & Ten: The Championship" "A Mutiny on the Bull Team" - With Bo Sabato as Frank

2 Bedroom 1 Bath - With Costas Mandylor as Frank

"2 Broke Girls" "And the Alley-Oops" - With Darin Brooks as Frank

"20-Something" "Pilot" - With Richard Ryker as Frank.  Also with Zoe Bournelis as Fran.

"21 Jump Street" "Fathers and Sons" - With Gerry Rousseau as Frank

"227" - With Lee Weaver as Frank (2 Episodes)

24 Hours to Die - With Martin Nolan as Frank

24 Hours to Live - With Rutger Hauer as Frank

A 24k Gold Bear - With Garret Leblanc as Frank

25Gs - With Paul Redston as Frank.  Also with Steve Murphy as Franny Williams.

28 Days Later... - With Brendan Gleeson as Frank

2BPerfectlyHonest - With Adam Trese as Frank

2ND Take - With Christopher Fairbanks as Frank

"2point4 Children" "One Night in Bangkok" - With Don Henderson as Frank

3 Blind Mice - With Craig Kelly as Frank

3 Hours to Dusk - With Kevin Bishop as Frank

3 Mile Limit - With John McKee as Frank

3 Wishes - With Manuel Carrasco as Frank

3-Iron - With Tom Martin as Frank

3/4 - Avec Sébastien Higgins as Frank

3° kälter - Mitt Johann von Bülow als Frank

300 secondes - Avec Richard Lemire son Frank

300* - With Andrew Hernon as Frank

"32 Brinkburn Street" - With David Ross as Frank (5 Episodes)

39 Across - Avec Daniel Chenard son Frank

"3rd Rock from the Sun" "Auto Erodicka" - With Peter DeLuise as Frank

"3rd Rock from the Sun" "Dick Solomon's Day Off" - With Jerry Hauck as Frank

"3rd Rock from the Sun" "Hotel Dick" - With Tim Bagley as Frank

4 Conversations About Love - With Gary Lilburn as Frank

4 Dead in Ohio - With Owen O'Farrell as Frank

"The 4400" "Gone: Part 1" - With Barry Nerling as Frank

47 Minutes - With Andrew Diaz as Frank

5 Shells - With Chad Brummett as Frank

51 Degrees North - With Jamie Doyle as Frank

51st and Baltimore - With Neal Ryan as Frank

5ive - With Leonardo Santaiti as Frank

6 Bullets to Hell - With Aaron Stielstra as Frank

6 Minutes to Midnight - With Brandon Hitson as Frank

The 6 Month Rule - With Vincent De Paul as Frank

666 sq ft - With Theodore Bouloukos as Frank

'79 Parts - With Martin Barabas as Frank.  Also with Chris T. Margaritis as Frankie.

"7th Heaven" "Hot Pants" - With Bobby Edner as Frank.  Also with Stephen Collins as Rev. Heterosexual Child Molester Chase-Rottingham.  Hot pants indeed!

"7th Heaven" "The Known Soldier" - With Harrison Young as Frank.  Also with Stephen Collins as Rev. Heterosexual Child Molester Barstow-Pigott.

"8 Simple Rules" "Thanksgiving Guest" - With Tom McGowan as Frank

8 Uhr 28 - Mitt Fahri Yardin als Frank

8:46 - With Todd Lewis as Frank.  Also with Frank Durazzo as Man at bar.

8.5 Hours - With Art Kearns as Frank

"83 Hours 'Til Dawn" - With Terry Israel as Frank

"87th Precinct" "Step Forward" - With Byron Foulger as Frank

90 Minutes - With Grant Davis as Frank.  Also with Wayne Goddard as Francis.  Also with Robert Ristic as Jack... sorry, that was last year.  Oops!  Old habits die hard, me guesses's.

95ers: Echoes - With Mike Guido as Frank

"9ine" - With Ken Moreno as Frank (4 Episodes)

À moi seule - Avec Grégory Gadebois son Frank

À Rebours - Avec Paul Granier son Frank

"A to Z" "F is for Fight, Fight, Fight!" - With Josh Casaubon as Frank

"The A-Team" "Members Only" - With Scott Colomby as Frank

"The A-Team" "Pure-Dee Poison" - With Tony O'Neil as Frank

"A1 ko sa'yo" "House Party" - With Aaron Yanga as Frank

Aami & Frank - With Ricci Harnett as Frank

Aanmodderfakker - Med Dean Wijkhuizen som Frank

"ABC Afterschool Specials" "Hewitt's Just Different" - With Michael Luther as Frank

"ABC Afterschool Specials" "High School Narc" - With Joe Lisi as Frank

"ABC Afterschool Specials" "Sara's Summer of the Swans" - With Scott McCartor as Frank

"ABC Afterschool Specials" "Sometimes I Don't Love My Mother" - With William McNulty as Frank

"ABC Weekend Specials" "The Seven Wishes of Joanne Peabody" - With Garrett Morris as OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT... Frank

Abduction - With Gregory Rozakis as Frank

Absence - With Don Moss as Frank

Abusing Protocol - With Cass Pennant as Frank