Awright! Back to work. Our next potential auteur is James Partridge, and... there's something strangely familiar about all this... nah, just a mere composer. I know, I know... I'm just sayin' he's no Tommy Tune or Alexandre Desplat, knowhutImeanvern? Okay, our next is James Patridge... nah, just an actor. Small world! They were just showing 36 Hours. Okay, the next is James Pestridge ... nah, just a reporter. Quite polite, actually! I mean, you'd think, given his name and all... next up is James Prestridge, and... nah, just a mere crew member, under the direction of some lucky auteur. But remember! You can't spell Prestridge without "prestige." Remember that. (Note to self: get prostate checked) Our next Could-Be Auteur is James Pridgen, and... nah, just a self. And a doctor! Am I psychic or what? Not lottery-ticket psychic, but still! Next up is James Ridge, and... nah, just an actor. Up next is James Ridgely, and... another empty cypher! I'm telling you: all I need to do is get into one documentary, and boom. I've got my own IMDb entry. It's so crazy, it just might work...
Our NEXT auteur, and I do hope I find one soon... is James Ridgeway, and... nah, just a producer and a director. Our next... wait a second! I think that counts! And hey, I get to ask my not-yet-patented question, what does THIS James Ridgeway have in common with the other one? That's RIGHT! Two IMDb numbers for the same guy, but in this case I'll let it go. I think we actually ventured out to an arthouse theatre one or two soirée ago to see Feed! Boy, those were the days. I think there was still some hope back then; it's been so long. He was an author, and frequent collaborator with another documentary filmmaker Kevin Rafferty of The Atomic Café and The Last Cigarette fame. I remember my favourite moment from The Last Cigarette arrives early in the proceedings, where two white Pilgrims look at a Native American smoking a cigar, and one says to the other "Only a real Savage would do something like that!" I went ahead and capitalized "savage" for emphasis. They also had a clip of "cigarette porn" where a sultry but fully-dressed woman smokes a cigarette, saying things like "Or how about if I hold it like this?" I know... I would have to remember a detail like that. There were also some really boring Congressional hearings about cigarettes. Congressional hearings: where things go to die. I guess cigarettes more or less survived though, huh? And its douche-y cousin, vaping. Reminds me: I think I still have The Last Cigarette on an old DVD-R I burned many moons ago... ah, I'll search for it later. I'm still trying to locate that Blu-Ray Mel Brooks collection, know whut I mean Vern? #knowhutimeanvern
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