Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Happy Vampsgiving!

Oh, right! The picture... Anyway, big surprise. The latest and greatest Twilight entry is #1 again. On the other hand, George Clooney's latest non-crowd-pleaser is #10 again! Not going to make my one-week wonder list! Yay! But back to Twilight. See, they COULD have released it near Halloween, but wisely chose close to Thanksgiving instead. Maybe next year they'll pick Christmas. Vampires aren't just for Halloween anymore, you see... nah, still the week before Xsgiving, according to the notoriously unreliable IMDb, my go-to source for movie information. Oh, is Jacob going to do like Puss in Boots and get his own spinoff series? Might as well! But really, who wants to read about wolfmen's mid-life crises? Totally not sexy.
In second-place news, The Muppets reboot takes 2nd place, if not Manhattan. Yes, despite the hip critics protestations, Disney still knows how to make the box office its b'eatch when it wants to, as long as they spend more on advertising than they expect to earn on opening weekend. Meanwhile, the latest lamprey attaches itself to Christmas: this time, a non-tipsy Arthur. Lousy Brits. And a PG movie, no less! The war on Christmas begins, with the adults taking Christmas joy away from our tiny tots. A Silent Night, Deadly Night reboot is surely next. If he played his cards right, what's-his-face could've had that plum role. Arthur, son of Santa... time for the next generation to tentatively take the reindeer reins of power... JESSE EISENBERG! That's it. Sorry, Jesse, but I guess you're not a crucial part of my personal neural net. Let's face it: James McAvoy's no spring chicken anymore! Jesse would've been the perfect post-modern hipster wise-cracking son of Santa. Try again next year when the sequel gets released.
And finally, Martin Scorsese, the patron saint of violent, R-rated movies, finally felt the need to make a film his young relatives could watch. Universally loved by the critics, all-but-shunned by the movie-attending public, Hugo comes in fifth with only 11 million dollars. Well, that's half way there! Only 159 million more to go, and you've covered the film's budget... as for advertising, distribution costs, etc., well... I'm sure the studio thinks of it as a long-term investment. After all, this is not Transformers we're talking about! Might as well see what Michael Bay's up to. Nothing new on the director part yet, but... The Hauntrepreneur? I gotta go.

1 comment:

Spiky said...

i will definitely watch this!!!!