Sunday, December 11, 2016

Flirtations with the Law

It's the oldest trick in the Hollywood playbook.  We've got three debuts this week at our beloved Top 10 Box Office hits.  The first was the highly publicized Office Christmas Party.  I found myself actually curious about who the director or directors is or are.  Turns out, it's the Coen-like team of two behind 2010's The Switch.  Now, you're probably thinking, oh yeah!  That bawdy romp with Deadpool and what's his face... just me, I know.  No, that was 2011's The Change-Up, and I think that's the team responsible for the Hangover trilogy.  We'll never hear the end of it.  But don't worry, for Hollywood workhorse Jason Bateman is in both, and he and Jennifer Aniston return for Office Christmas Party.  How lucky it must be for a Hollywood screenwriter to be writing for these two, this Dynamic Duo.  But the big story is that "Silicon Valley" star Erlich Bachman got arrested for... something.  Frank Lee, I didn't have the heart to find out for what.  I'll leave that dirty job to the guy who seems to have stopped posting those infomercials all over the place.  I guess this is what selling out looks like.  What I want to know is... when do I get my cut, damn it?
The next debut is called Animal Kingdom... I'm sorry, I mean it's called Animal Factory... I mean, it's Body of Evidence where Madonna tells Sheriff Willem Dafoe that we are animals.  Yes, we are... ooh!  It's right near the top!  That's no fun.  Oh, which reminds me, Jennifer Lawrence had to apologize for something again.  Apparently, she touched a sacred rock with her, um... posterior.  Okay, now this I gotta look up.  And I hate to say it, but with the flood of actual fake news these days, I have to turn to Us Magazine as a source.  I guess it's not that big of a deal after all.  The way I see it?  Now the rocks are sacred for a whole new reason.  Oh, and go see Passengers this month at the multiplex!
Oh, and I almost forgot to mention!  Now that Arrival and Nocturnal Animals are both in the Top 10, Amy Adams is beating herself up at said box office!  Probably not the first time that's happened, Frank Lee.  Anyway, the last debut this week is the latest from Kenneth Lonergan.  You might remember him as the writer/director of something called You Can Count on Me.  His latest, Manchester by the Sea... basically the same thing.  Ouch.  Okay, maybe that was a little unfair.  But the official IMDb page for the film has a blurb that says that Casey Affleck has finally, officially surpassed older brother Ben as the better thespian... something like that.  Personally, I kinda thought that that was the case with his Robert Ford movie, but still... something annoying about those Affleck boys.  You hate to love 'em, and love to hate 'em.  Maybe it's just that Dazed and Confused had such a profound affect on me, I don't know. 
Anyway, that's the box office this week.  If you can find a better analysis of it, well... it's probably at The Onion.  They do that as well.

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