It Happened on Fifth Avenue - I mean, the part with the throwing of the tomatoes was fun, but... I can totally relate to these people. The daughter to the father: "Oh, father. You're the CEO of the company! And you're making my fiancée go to Argentina when you could be giving him a job at home? For shame, Father! For shame!"
"Last Tango in Halifax" - "Ummm... too late to change our title?" asked the TV series
Last Tango in Paris - New outrage on the heels of the film's 45th anniversary as director Bernardo Bertolucci confesses about something called the "butter rape" scene. In response, celebrities are now tweeting their outrage, saying things like "Disgusting. Roman Polanski should be ashamed of himself" and "Hope you like butter with your rape, Polanski!"
The Sandy Bottom Orchestra - I could hear it from the next room and it seemed like a Nicholas Sparks-type thing. It's a lot like my experience in high school band class... only whiter!
Anyway, it's the end of another Christian year, so I thought I'd take this opportunity to work on this To-Do list that's been sitting here for months at my desk.
Bangkok Dangerous - Another lone assassin with a set of rules he follows religiously... but there's at least one surprise to it. I hate to spoil it, but it involves his deaf girlfriend... damn it!!!
The Fifth Estate - Benedict Cumberbatch does another good job, but... no. Can't do it. I'm just too upset about the election to consider Assange a hero anymore. If his team of hackers can't get to Trump's taxes, well... either Trump's taxes are just that sacrosanct, or Assange is just a big albino chicken! Bawk bawk bawk bawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwk.....
Fury - Let me just say this about writer/director David Ayer's WWII tank drama, Fury. Basically, it started out fine enough, then descended into more and more laughability and implausibility until the completely ridiculous finale. But there was one thing that was never properly explained to me... the origin of the character named "Coon-Ass." I feel highly cheated by this, and will not rest until it is properly explained to me. Is he miscegenated? Did he grow up eating raccoons? Even the new guy to the tank wasn't curious at all about it! I mean, what a scene that would of... have been. "Why do they call you 'Coon-Ass'?" I mean, even the first Revenge of the Nerds explained the "Booger" character, right? Personally, I think the guy's nickname should've been "Whiny Little Bitch," but that's just me. It would've fit the overall juvenile tone of the show a little better, but whatever. Can't have everything, right? It did look great on Blu-Ray, by the by!
The Judge - Puh-leeeeeze. My comment from earlier is still apt, and that was this... when they announced the Oscars for the year that The Judge came out, they said "Robert Duvall!" And a mighty cheer rose up from the crowd present. Then they said "...for 'The Judge'" and the whole crowd kinda went... well, first, they gritted their teeth, inhaled through them, and said "Ooh" all at once. Kinda unusual! Also, they stole the makeout side plot from Old School... you know, the part with Eliza Dushku... I mean, what's her name, trying to not have to look it up. Elisha Chthulu... Cuthbert! That's it! And if you know what I'm talking about, well... you're a sick boy just like me.
O Lucky Man! - The cast of A Clockwork Orange was worth repeating
The Show of Shows - DEAR LITTLE PUP!!!!!.... wow. I thought I would never find that again
Swing Time - With Victor Moore as J. Edgar Hoover
Alas, I didn't get what I wanted for Christmas this year. But for Christmas 2017, as with the current year, the only thing I want is this: Underworld vs. Resident Evil. Is that asking so much? Swallow your pride, ladies, and do the right thing.