Ah, these young, budding auteurs before they become big, bloated red giants... sorry, I was listening to the original "Cosmos" in the car. I got the other one on hold at the library, don't worry! Anyway, I'll try not to get sidetracked again. Well, he or she, while not terribly prolific yet, certainly has a sense of catchy titles. I mean, take a look at these four titles! Kiss It Up To God... catchy. King... catchy... if a little too simple. Chutney Popcorn... oh, wait, it says "Actress," not director. I guess Caran's a she, then. Then there's "Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee." Ooh! That was a good one. A prestigious HBO project, if memory serves, based on the Buffy Ste. Marie song of the same... oops. I'm sorry, it's actually called Bury Me Standing. None of these are available at Scarecrow, BTW. But Chutney Popcorn probably is! Lemme check... yep! It is! That's one of those titles like A Fish in the Bathtub or Gas Food Lodging, titles forever associated with 1990s desert Lesbians.
But let's continue to proceed down this list... oh, wait, we're on the last one, and it's 10 Things I Hate About You, based on Shakespeare's "The Taming of the Shrew" and... no, that's not it. Oh, the movies that got greenlit in 1999, the year before the millennium. It was indeed the big one, that change from 1999 to 2000. A lot of people thought Jesus would come back and host "Saturday Night Live" the following Saturday. Didn't happen, though, so the date was moved up a bit. For the computer nerds, it's now 2048, because computer nerds like to do as little work as possible, and they collectively decided that 11 bits was enough to handle storage of year data. I mean, it's like, 30 years away now! We'll never get that far! Anyway, Caran Hartsfield was on track to be the new Steven Soderbergh. I mean, one major motion picture a year! Not bad. Life gets in the way for most others, but not for ol' sober Soderbergh. No, the last film before the trail runs cold is called Things We Lost in the Fire. Ugh. These annoying ads are now popping up on the right hand side of my screen; let me see if I can get them to stop... okay, they've stopped for now. Anyway, again, great title. Margot at the Wedding, Castle Freak, Future Shock... the films are probably crap, but wow, wotta title. Grabs you by the... imagination and doesn't let go, but again, that's not the title. No, Caran's is called All Those Things I Never Told You... no, that's not it either. No, it's that new TV series called "A Million Little Things," clearly riding on the way-too-big-for-its-own-good coattails of "This is Us" and... boy! Having that trouble again. I better take a short breather and try again at this thing later on. What do you think, Caran?
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