Sunday, November 04, 2018

Mr. Singer

Ooh!  A chance to do a double pun.  Anyway, maybe it's the traditional sources.  Maybe it's Tommy Maitland going on Colbert to say it's just a really, really good film.  And he's done some real crap over the years, but this one's the shi... real deal Holyfield this time.  Maybe Sacha Baron Cohen's kicking himself a little bit right now, because he'd talked a bit about doing this project for a while... or maybe Borat mentioned it.  Where was the new Bohemian Rhapsody bio-pic type deal mainly promoted?  Etsy?  Mashable?  Wherever it was, it sure worked!  Fifty million domestic?  It's apparently a Fox movie that probably didn't get promoted on Fox News.  But it is nevertheless a triumph for the old guard of the likes of Peter Morgan, a one-man screenplay machine, and Bryan Singer, a one-man directing machine.  He's back!  Jack the Giant Slayer is all forgiven!
Meanwhile, in second place, Disney tries to breathe new life into an old standard.  In this case, it's that old Christmas standby called the Nutcracker.  Now Balanchine free!  Well, someone at Disney figured if you attached a couple of realms to it, who knows?  Maybe it'll be big at the box office.  But it's too scary to be a Christmas release, so how about the week after Halloween?  Who knows?  Maybe it'll be such a hit, it'll still be around in time for Christmas, like how the first Home Alone started out at Christmas, then stuck around the next THREE MONTHS.  Can we capture that lightning in a bottle again, asks every studio head ever?
Our third debut this week is... oh!  It's a Tyler Perry joint!  I think he's moving away from his Christian base and trying to get some of that Me Too / Time's Up magic, dare I say.  Well, who isn't, really?  But his fall 2018 film is called Nodoby Nobody's Fool... I just can't type today!  Reminds me of this stupid overly sexual ad for boner pills that says on it "I gotta Dig Bick!"  Yeah, we know, we're the ones with the filthy minds.  A lot of old guys seem to get stuck with these ads.  X-rated ads that say basically "Hey, 70-year old guy!  Buy our medication-type substance and screw like you're 20 again!  And here's some free, complementary porno DVDs while you're at it."  Wonder how their wives feel about these letters?  I guess they tolerate it as much as they can without stabbing their husbands in the eye with the serrated bread knife.  This just in: I've been told I have the wrong hyperlink.  At #3 this week isn't a 1936 film starring Edward Everett Horton and Glenda Farrell.  It's called Nobody's Fool and... sorry, got it wrong again.  That was the 1986 film of the same name, starring Rosanna Arquette and Eric Roberts.  Yeesh.  And because I just love Robert Benton so much, as faithful readers of this thing can attest to, I'm not even going to post a hyperlink to the 1994 film of the same name... damn, did it anyway.  No, Tyler's new film is called Nobody's Fool... sorry, that's a link to a music video by Bon Jovi's old fool, Cinderella.  Poor bastard, didn't even get a VH1 Behind the Music special out of the deal.  Now, I've probably written this before, but I am just obsessed with it.  I checked Tyler Perry's IMDb page once, and there it was as plain as day, he was going to make a film called Tyler Perry's A Jazz Man's Blues.  WHERE IS IT?  ...oh!  Here's a link to mere rumors and gossip, but it's still something!  Apparently it's to be a post-WWII pic, so it'll be a stretch.  He doesn't seem to do period pieces.  They all take place in the not-so-spectacular now, where Christian values seem to have been all but forgotten.  But we do get to her some right pretty speeches, don't we?  I was fairly entertained by a soliloquoy in one of his plays, "Neighbors from Hell," I think it was.  Got that from my local library.  Also something called XXI: O'Day, which I've been meaning to review, but... I'd be the first one!  Wouldn't want to screw something like that up, now, would I?

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