Sunday, April 12, 2020

When You're In Industrial Mining, You Don't Take Anything For Granite

Brought to you by Corny-Ass Jokes.  Corny-Ass Jokes!  The kind of jokes that'll make you completely re-evaluate your digital life, maybe go into real-life Witness Protection.  Also brought to you by Prune Juice.  Prune Juice!  Me personally, for some reason I keep forgetting to not drink too much of the stuff.  I always end up running to the bathroom, and just barely making it, and having a jet of prune-based liquid shooting out of my... anyway, it's what?  Day 32 Or So of New Life on Earth?  Anybody got new global warming numbers?  All this curbing of non-essential traveling might be slowing down our collective CO2 output a little bit!  Oh right.  Non-essential thinking.  Whelp, while "Tiger Kings" is still milking all the publicity it can out of... itself, Tom Hanks apparently hosted "Saturday Night Live" from home.  Even his harshest critics have to hand it to him: the two-time Oscar (TM) (R) (C) winner is now a member of the Five-Timers Club, and the Coronavirus Survivors' Club.  In tragic news, "$chitt's Creek" is in its final season, but the cast and crew are somewhat relieved.  Is Christopher Guest not planning to get the band back together and round out his quartet of movies into a quintet?  Is this not happening?  Let me check the IMDb... apparently, not in the slightest.  Oh well.
Whelp, since Hollywood is still shut down, aside from a pocket of resistance here and there, there are no movies to badmouth this week.  But I wouldn't dream of depriving you all of my usual segment, so since we've become a world of amateur virologists, what movies are out there with the word "Virus" in the title?  Well, I'm an old-timer, so the one that comes to mind is 1998's... 1999's Virus, starring Jamie Lee Curtis.  I remember the trailer for that one quite well, and the rocket getting fired at the camera.  I was underwhelmed at the time... or so I thought?  Funny what the brain gloms onto as the years and neurons and neural connections pass.  And then there's...
...oh, crap.  Guess that's the only one I got.  Time to go to Plan B.  I mean, SURELY there are others!  No one else ever thought of using the word "Virus" in a title?  I mean, how about #virus"100 Things to Do Before High School" Survive the Virus Attack Trapped in Your Home Base Station Thing!3000 scénarios contre un virus"3000 scénarios contre un virus" Affreux, bêtes et très méchants"3000 scénarios contre un virus" Arnaud et ses copains"3000 scénarios contre un virus" Avant... mais après"3000 scénarios contre un virus" Bavardages en SIDA mineur"3000 scénarios contre un virus" Déshabille-toi que je t'habille"3000 scénarios contre un virus" Discussion sur le préservatif entre un père et son fils"3000 scénarios contre un virus" I love you"3000 scénarios contre un virus" Je t'aime moi non plus"3000 scénarios contre un virus" L'anniversaire"3000 scénarios contre un virus" L'appel d'un ami"3000 scénarios contre un virus" L'attente"3000 scénarios contre un virus" L'exclusion"3000 scénarios contre un virus" La chambre"3000 scénarios contre un virus" La pharmacie"3000 scénarios contre un virus" La seringue"3000 scénarios contre un virus" La sirène"3000 scénarios contre un virus" La teuf d'enfer"3000 scénarios contre un virus" Le flic"3000 scénarios contre un virus" Le rap du sida"3000 scénarios contre un virus" Le rêve"3000 scénarios contre un virus" Le sida, c'est les autres"3000 scénarios contre un virus" Le temps du bonheur"3000 scénarios contre un virus" Les deux amants"3000 scénarios contre un virus" Mère séropositive"3000 scénarios contre un virus" Mort d'un couple"3000 scénarios contre un virus" Poisson rouge"3000 scénarios contre un virus" Préservatif, une preuve d'amour"3000 scénarios contre un virus" Sidapolis"3000 scénarios contre un virus" Vertige de l'amour"3000 scénarios contre un virus" Zozo, le clown"5x5" 5 Best Video Game Viruses"60 Minutes" The Battle for Mosul/The National Mood/The Zika Virus"7 vidas" A la vejez, viruelasA Tribe Called Red: The Virus - Ft. Saul Williams, Chippewa TravellersA VirusA Virus Called Fear"A.Z.A.S: All Zombies Are Stupid" Il Virus T-Ick"ABC World News Tonight with David Muir" The Melissa Virus"Adaalat" CID Viruddh Adaalat"Airwolf" X-Virus"Al salir de clase" Un virus de primavera"Al salir de clase" Virus asesino"Alerte, danger immédiat" Le virus des glaces"Alle meine Töchter" Das Virus"Alles was zählt" Ein gefährlicher Virus breitet sich im Zentrum aus"Alphateam - Die Lebensretter im OP" Das VirusAmerican VirusAnatomy of a Virus: The Making of Antiviral"Anime Abandon" Virus Buster SergeAntiVirusAntivirus"Are You Afraid of the Dark?" The Tale of the Renegade Virus"Arison to Riria" Arison to Viru"Ashtonimations' Caillou Gets Grounded Show" Caillou Installs A Virus On The School ComputerAttack of the Giant VirusAuntie Virus"Autopalatsi" Tietokonevirus iskee palatsiin"Badía y Cia" Virus"Badía y Cia" Virus II"Badía y Cia" Virus IIIBapu Viru Vategavkar"Bergerac" The Deadly Virus"Big Band Clan" Capítulo 8 - Virus contagiosos Big Band Clan"Binnenstebuiten" Virus"Board James" Omega Virus"Brady's Beasts" How to Vex a Virus"Brigada de fenómenos" El virus de Tabernas"Bruno the Kid" Virus"C.I.D." CID Viruddh Adaalat: Part 1"C.I.D." CID Viruddh Adaalat: Part 2"C.I.D." Khatarnak Virus Ka Rahsya: Part 1"C.I.D." Khatarnak Virus Ka Rahsya: Part 2"C.I.D." The Case of the Horrifying Virus: Part 1"C.I.D." The Case of the Horrifying Virus: Part 2"C'est la crise" Un méchant virus"Caméra café" Le virus"Captain Scarlet" VirusCaustic Method: The Virus"Chicago Hope" The Virus"Chipped" VirusCinémas d'Horreur - Apocalypse, Virus, Zombies"Code Lyoko Evolution" Virus"Colby's Clubhouse" Vandella Virus VisitsCon el virus bajo la piel"Cosmic Disclosure" Pathogens and Space Viruses"Crimini bianchi" Il virus dell'impiccato"Cuerpo de élite" El virusD.I.K. - Jagd auf Virus X"Dans une galaxie près de chez vous" Le virus"De afdeling" Virus"De kotmadam" Italiaans virusDead VirusDer Bergdoktor - Virus"Der Patenonkel" Grippevirus ADevatenact klaviruDevirus.doc"Die Anrheiner" Das Kringsmänner-Virus"Die Lehrer" Pornovirus"Letzte Spur Berlin" Hochvirulent"Doctor Who FanFilm Series: MB & Homeland" The Robot Virus"Duro de domar" Gabriel Rolón/Viruse-Virus"Earthrise" Tales from VirungaEin Virus kennt keine Moral"El ministerio del tiempo" Un virus de otro tiempo"El mundo de Chema" VirusEl virus de la porEl virus del poderElectrovirus"Emergency!" Virus"Encuentro en el Estudio" Virus"ENSV: Eesti Nõukogude Sotsialistlik Vabariik" Viru veri"Estació d'enllaç" Virus"Eye on Entertainment" Sneak Peek of Empire Films' 'Virus X'"Eye on Entertainment" Virus X Party for 2010 Shriekfest Film Festival"Farmacia de guardia" A la vejez, viruelasFear Is the VirusFighting Viruses in the Lab and BeyondFlying Virus"Forbidden Science" Virus"Fratelli Katano" Virus"Freak Encounters" Vampire Virus"Freak Out" Flesh Eating Viruses Freak Me Out!"Frontline/World" Hong Kong, Chasing the Virus"Gatos en el tejado" Viruelas"Genesis Week" It's SuperVirus!"Genesis Week" Viruses Sick of EvolutionGiovanni ed Elviruccia"Giovanni ed Elviruccia" Episode #1.1"Giovanni ed Elviruccia" Episode #1.2"Giovanni ed Elviruccia" Episode #1.3"Giovanni ed Elviruccia" Episode #1.4Global Viral. Die Virus-Metapher"Good Morning, Tonight!" Responsible Virus Ownership"Good Mythical Morning" The Unbelievable Laughing Virus of 1962"Hagan Reviews" Virus"Hallo, Onkel Doc!" Das Virus"Hausmeister Krause - Ordnung muss sein" Der KillervirusHet Virus"Horizon" AIDS: A Strange and Deadly Virus"Horizon" Why Do Viruses Kill?Human VirusIl VirusImage Is Virus"Intelligence - Servizi & segreti" Il mistero del virus"Intensive Care" VirusIron Maiden: Virus"Island Son" VirusesJake Estrada's the Human Virus"JDG la revanche" VIRUS"Jede Menge Leben" AngstvirusJohnny Virus"Joueur du Grenier" Virus - PlaystationKadhal Virus"Kamisama mousukoshi dake" The Love That I Staked My Life on Begins Now... A Notice of AIDS Virus Infection"Key: The Metal Idol" Virus I"Key: The Metal Idol" Virus II"Kickstarter Crap" The Unknown VirusKida VirunthuKiller Virus: Hunt for the Next Plague"Kin iro no koruda: Primo passo" Kokô no virutûôso"Kiseki taiken! Anbiribabô" Killer Virus"Kiseki taiken! Anbiribabô" Revival of the Devil Virus! - Mitigating the Infection Breakout"Kurzgesagt: In a Nutshell" The Ebola Virus Explained - How Your Body Fights for SurvivalL'antivirus"L33t Haxxors" Virus"La Casa" Virus"La colonia" Viruela"La crim'" Un crime virulent"La croisière Foll'amour" Le virus"La Gira" El virus"La minute nécessaire de Monsieur Cyclopède" Tentons en vain d'isoler le virus de la peste"La rosa de Guadalupe" VPH: el virus silencioso"Lab Rats" Night of the Living Virus"Law & Order" Virus"Léa Parker" Virus"Leonning maen" The Zombie Virus RaceLes deux virus"Lindenstraße" Der Virus"Los ladrones van a la oficina" El virus de la Navidad"M.E.T.R.O. - Ein Team auf Leben und Tod" Raubgräber-Virus"Man I Hate Mondays" The Ebola Virus Song"Mansarda" Virus"MegaMan: NT Warrior" The Virus FactoryMickey Virus"Microkillers" The French Viruses"Mighty Max" Cyberskull Virus"Mikmak" The Virus: Part 1"Mikmak" The Virus: Part 2"Ministério do Tempo" Um Vírus de Outro Tempo (A Virus from Another Time) - 1918/2016"Miss Sherlock" Stolen Virus"Mona the Vampire" Von Kreepsula Runs Amok/The Nefarious Computer Virus"Moncloa ¿dígame?" De chupetones, decomisos y virus informáticosUntitled Project"My Favorite Martian" Virus M for Martian"My Hero" Space Virus"Na Aana Iss Des Laado" Dia's death and her virulence rites"National Geographic Explorer" The Virus HuntersC/o SuryaNenjile Thunivirundhal"Neo Magazin" Der Norovirus Kotzcontest"Neo Magazin" Virus in der Snack Salami"Nettravnene" Datavirus"Newton's Apple" Cancer Causes/Frisbees/Computer Virus"Nightmares & Dreamscapes: From the Stories of Stephen King" The Road Virus Heads North"Ninja the Mission Force" Ninja Virus"No, You Shut Up!" Killer Viruses"Nynne" Påske virus"Ocean Girl" The Red VirusPandemonium: Virus NZ1"Parlons peu... Parlons Cul" Le PapillomavirusPerku Jusu ViruPesum VirusPevanja na viru"Plats bruts" Tinc un virus"Play!" The Uke Virus"Portail Sciences" Les Virus et bactéries"Psico express" Virus i fantasmes"Pura Química" Raúl 'Pacha' Cardozo/Virus"ReBoot" Crouching Binome, Hidden Virus"Redes" La invasión de los virus"Redes" Los virus no han muerto"Redes" Virus emergentes"Redes" Virus y bacterias: la plaga del siglo XXI"ReGenesis" The Oldest VirusResistant Virus an STDRetrovirusRise of the Virus"Rob the Robot" Space Virus Blues"Robot Trains" Runaway Virus Train"Robot Trains" The Attack of the VirusRocket Pack Jack and the Babylon Virus"Rox" VirusRunaway Virus"Ruusun aika" Tavallinen virustauti"Sa puso ni dok" The Virus"Saber vivir" Infecciones por hongos y virus"Saber vivir" Protégete de los virus"Saber vivir" Trastornos por virus"Saber vivir" Virus que dan más guerra"Según Roxi" La etapa de los virus"Sept nains et moi" The Big Bad Virus"Seven Days" The Gettysburg Virus"Shin Shûkan TV Hihyô" New Virus and Media ReportSilent Virus"Sledstvie veli..." Smertelnyy virus"Smosh" The Vlog VirusSocial Virus"Sorties Savantes" Survivors: Un virus peut-il tuer 99% de la population en quelques jours?"Spirou" VirusSpread the Virus"Spynet" Computer Virus"Star Wars: The Clone Wars" Blue Shadow Virus"Sturm der Liebe" Gefährlicher Virus"Sûpâ Robotto Reddo Baron" Horror of the Vampire Virus"Superhuman Samurai Syber-Squad" Hasta la Virus, Baby"Superhuman Samurai Syber-Squad" My Virus Ate My Homework"Superhuman Samurai Syber-Squad" Portrait of the Artist as a Young Virus"Superhuman Samurai Syber-Squad" Rock n' Roll Virucide"SuperMarioGlitchy4" SMG4: Mario and the T-Pose Virus"Survivor" That Girl Is Like a Virus"Suspense" Virus X"Tatort" Virus"TechKnow" Beyond Ebola: The Virus Hunters"TEDTalks" Nathan Wolfe's Jungle Search for Viruses"Tekkaman Blade" Eviru - yomigaeru akuma"Tekkaman Blade" Soretsuna! eviru shishu"Telecomedia de humor" A la vejez viruelasTerminal Virus"Terreur 404" Le virus"The Adventures of James & Jake" Cat Virus"The Adventures of James & Jake" The Storm Virus"The Adventures of Shirley Holmes" The Case of the Vanishing VirusThe Agency: Pursuit of the Ares Virus"The Amazing World of Gumball" The Virus"The Blueprint Saints" Virus"The Catterson Chronicles" The Computer Virus"The Colony" The VirusThe Commander: Virus"The Completionist" Mega Man Battle Network: The Best Anti-VirusThe Computer Virus"The Doctors" Breaking News on the Ebola Virus/Extremely Odd Cravings/Skin Feels Like Glass/Sudden Loss of Taste and Smell/Surprising Reasons for Your Digestive Disorders"The Doctors" Lose Weight with Jelly Beans?/Fungal Infections Linked to Your Makeup?/Alarming New Mosquito-Borne Virus/Medicinal Marijuana"The Doctors" Valerie Harper Reveals Update on Her Health Crisis/Combat Cancer with Polio Virus?/New Age-Defying Procedure Put to the Test"The Dr. Oz Show" Breaking News: The Zika Virus: A Public Health Emergency in the Making?"The Dr. Oz Show" The New Deadly Mystery Virus Spreading FastThe Drone Virus"The Goodies" Clown VirusThe Human Virus"The Jeff Probst Show" The Mom Who Lost Her Limbs to a Flesh-Eating Virus"The Jersey" NFL VirusThe Mandala Virus: Samsara"The Mars 500 Show" Virus"The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore" The Pope vs. Zika Virus & Black VotersThe Paradise Virus"The Pretender" A Virus Among Us"The Public Space" The Amazing World of Viruses"The Revolting World of Stanley Brown" Night of the Living VirusThe Road Virus Heads North"The Story of Tracy Beaker" Dumping Ground VirusThe VirusThe VirusThe VirusThe VirusThe VirusThe VirusThe Virus"The Virus" Episode #1.1"The Virus" Episode #1.2"The Virus" Episode #1.3The Virus HunterThe Virus Hunter's ToolkitThe Virus of WarThe Virus ProjectThe Virus: A Short FilmThe Z Virus"The Z Virus" About Last Night"The Z Virus" Bunker Fever"The Z Virus" Now Is the Time"The Z Virus" Nowhere to Hide"The Z Virus" Uninvited Guests"The Z Virus" Zombies on the RightThis Darkness: The Vampire Virus"Through the Wormhole" Is Gun Crime a Virus?"Toda Max" Lady G. Catches a Virus"TOME: Terrain of Magical Expertise" You've Gotta Virus"Toscane" Waar het liefdesvirus heerstTransfert per camera verso Virulentia"Tribunal" Vilain virus"TripTank" Brain Virus"Triunfo del amor" Virus malignoTV Virus"Two's Company" The Virus"UCB Comedy Originals" Dog Virus"UCB Comedy Originals" That's What She Said VirusUn virus dans la ville"Und tschüss!" Rock'n'Roll-VirusUnderstanding: VirusesUngal ViruppamUrban Electronic Poetry: Das Wort ist ein Virus in der Automatik der Städte"Urusei Yatsura" The Mysterious, Seductive Beauty Sakura/Virus in Distress"V.R. Troopers" The Reality VirusValiba VirundhuVenus Versus Virus"Venus Versus Virus" Fukai omoiVerdict on a Virus"Veritas: The Quest" Mummy Virus"Verschoten & zoon" Virussen"Viden om" DræbervirusViru - tarinoita hotellistaViruddhViruddh... Family Comes FirstVirudhagiriVirulentVirumandiVirumbugireanVirungaVirunga: Gorillas in PerilVirunnukariVirupakshuni Vichitra GuhaVirusVirusVirusVirusVirusVirusVirusVirusVirusVirusVirusVirusVirusVirusVirusVirusVirusVirusVirusVirusVirusVirusVirusVirusVirusVirusVirusVirusVirusVirusVirusVirus 9: Wreck EverythingVirus at Level FiveVirus Attack"Virus Attack" Arghes e Goldor"Virus Attack" Colpo al cuore (I parte)"Virus Attack" Colpo al cuore (II parte)"Virus Attack" Colpo al cuore (III parte)"Virus Attack" Colpo al cuore (IV parte)"Virus Attack" Convivenza difficile"Virus Attack" Di nuovo in viaggio"Virus Attack" Disastrose conseguenze"Virus Attack" Doppio gioco"Virus Attack" Freddo come l'odio"Virus Attack" I misteri di Amaldi"Virus Attack" I poteri di Dyamer"Virus Attack" Il generale Astor"Virus Attack" Il giorno della vendetta"Virus Attack" Il momento più buio"Virus Attack" Il potere del tatuaggio"Virus Attack" Il primo antivirus"Virus Attack" Il primo kryptus"Virus Attack" Il sacrificio di Astra"Virus Attack" Il totem dello stregone"Virus Attack" Il vascello del capitano Shankar"Virus Attack" In difesa della Terra"Virus Attack" Khalerya"Virus Attack" L'Araldo"Virus Attack" L'esperimento"Virus Attack" L'esperimento di riconversione (I parte)"Virus Attack" L'esperimento di riconversione (II parte)"Virus Attack" La 'congiura'"Virus Attack" La nave miraggio"Virus Attack" La Pagoda di Rajan (I parte)"Virus Attack" La Pagoda di Rajan (II parte)"Virus Attack" La palude"Virus Attack" La sequoia millenaria"Virus Attack" Le stelle del deserto"Virus Attack" Nella tana dei VIRUS"Virus Attack" Neos One"Virus Attack" Rax"Virus Attack" Relazioni pericolose!"Virus Attack" Rivelazioni"Virus Attack" Scherzi della natura!"Virus Attack" Scontro finale (I parte)"Virus Attack" Scontro finale (II parte)"Virus Attack" Trappola per i generali"Virus Attack" Trappole e intrighi"Virus Attack" Trionfo e disfatta (I parte)"Virus Attack" Trionfo e disfatta (II parte)"Virus Attack" Trionfo e disfatta (III parte)"Virus Attack" Trionfo e disfatta (IV parte)"Virus Attack" Un ritorno inatteso..."Virus Attack" Verso Vaalbara (I parte)"Virus Attack" Verso Vaalbara (II parte)"Virus Attack" ZobronVirus au paradisVirus Buster Serge"Virus Buster Serge" Behold Change or Die II"Virus Buster Serge" Blend the Strength"Virus Buster Serge" Deep Down Exposure"Virus Buster Serge" Reactivate the Body"Virus Buster Serge" To Have and to HoldVirus HuntersVirus i bataljonenVirus IIVirus in ParadiseVirus ManVirus of the DeadVirus TropicalVirus UndeadVirus W4DHVirus X - Der Atem des TodesVirus XVirus-08Virus: Extreme ContaminationVirus: Ghost in the MachineVirusetViruset 2: FörstärkningarnaViruset 3: UtplåningenViruset 4: ÅteruppståndelsenViruset 5: SpridningarnaViruthachalamViruthan SankuVodooma: Virus'Weird Al' Yankovic: Virus Alert"Weird Science" Lisa's Virus"Wildest Africa" The Virungas: Land of Ice and FireWinter Viruses and How to Beat Them"Wolfseinde" Virus"Xev Bellringer" Amazon Lesbian Virus"Yo Soy Franky" Franky y el virus de la mentira"You Are Wanted" Virus"You're the Worst" A Rapidly Mutating Virus"Za, besuto hausu 123" Rescue of Girl in Well/A Mom's Distorted Love/Virus of Death"Zan sayonara zetsubô sensei bangai-chi" General Virus and the Three Doctor Brothers/Casting God Away/A World of Words"Zero Listillos: Leonardo Raya" Libros, Virus y CaminatasZombie Virus"Zombiequerque" Got a Virus?

...no?  Nothing?  Not even close?  Well then, I guess it's just BACK TO THE PLANET THEN!!!  I MEAN, BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD THEN!!! OOOO0000oooops... sorry about shouting.  Stay safe, everyone.  Just a few more months and this will all be over.  Then again, someone said the end of next year and it'll all be over.  In any event, life will sure be a lot different now, won't it?  I know I'M going to try and do some things differently!!

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