Friday, April 18, 2008

...close enough

My one weakness. I'm not really up on the good prom movie classics. I draw a total blank. Then of course, there is the scene where the swimming pool cover opens in "It's a Wonderful Life" and people start falling in. That was during a prom, right?
Anywho, Prom Night hijacks the box office this week at a whopping 20 million dollars. Which is fine, except that they spent 20 million dollars promoting the damn thing on TV! It looked a little too much like Shutter for my taste. Or The Grudge 2. Or that one where the mom's making the bed, and we see a pair of ghost legs under the sheet as it settles to the mattress. You know, Spielberg had a scene like that in Temple of Doom. It took a whole ILM team about five years to put it together seamlessly. Scary as hell! But he had it cut at the last minute. Made the film too long. Interrupted the flow, too.
But I digress again. Street Kings debuts at #2 with a whopping one eighth of a hundred million dollars, for all those of you who watch Wall Street very closely. Why this does well, and yet that thing with Batman tanks, I'll never know.
Sadly, 21's luck is slipping as it slips to #3, but with a cume of 61.7 million it's the second biggest take this week behind that Dr. Seuss crap at #6. PATHETIC!!!
Been a while since I used that one, huh? I kinda missed it too. Now, at #4 it's the dark horse, Nim's Island, but that's what I get for not watching Nickelodeon. Something like that. Oh well. They can't all be the hero of the Box Office. But you know what? At least Abigail Breslin's not going directly for the hasty sloppy Little Miss Sunshine follow-up, not like miss Juno over there, AKA Smart People at #7.
At #5 it's George Clooney's politically-charged drama, Leatherheads. Doing pretty respectably, considering! Somehow I didn't think Middle America would go for it. But somebody must be! You know Middle America, right? All those mom and pop stores sponsored by Coca-Cola and Pepsi. One old theater in town still showing The Departed.
As for the rest of these turkeys, see above for 6 and 7. The Ruins crashes a little more at #8. Damn close to being outright condemned. But perhaps this clears the way for Indy 4, who knows. And that kick-ass spiral staircase.
At #9 it's the second generation ZAZ clone, Superhero Movie. And yet, this guy was able to get Leslie Nielsen and Pamela Anderson, almost right out of Scary Movie 3. Have they covered all the genres yet? I'm sure whatever the next one is, the Chigurh clone has GOT to be in it. Just got to be. Maybe get Chris Kattan with that same dorky haircut.
And finally, Drillbit Taylor at #10. How a guy named Drillbit got to be popular with the ladies I'll never know. But I'm sure Seth Rogen, Judd Apatow and John Hughes know the answer, and so much more. Does he slip on ice and fall on his back about ten times?

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