Friday, May 24, 2013

Box Office Memorial Day weekend

Again with the Fast and Furious.  New model, original parts.  If only Rotten Tomatoes was still on IFC, and the guy on there sat down to watch all the Fast and Furious movies back to back, like he did once with the Harry Potter series.  Teach us, O Master!  Teach us!  Seems like only yesterday that Vin Diesel was stealing MP3 players in the first one.  I guess he's given up on doing the Hannibal Barca story.  You know, the elephant guy we learn about in elementary school!  At least, as long as Texas approves.
Meanwhile, at #2, it's been two years, so it's time to wrap this series up, and I'm talkin' about The Hangover.  Why, it seems like only yesterday... geez, there I go again.  Damn, my own recordkeeping only goes back to 2010, but I think that in 2009 the first Hangover was #1 at the box office.  That's when I knew I was out of touch with the youth.  Where?  Where did this come from?  Who knew about it, and why?  And Ed Helms?  Nerdy guy from The Daily Show?  Really?  Well, really, that's the strength of The Hangover's formula.  All three male body types are represented: endomorph, ectomorph, and fat-ass-morph... something like that.  It's a win-win-win!  And of course, in 2011 the inevitable sequel charged to #1.  But now... the series has grown up, and the grey hairs are starting to come in, and all those same kids that flocked to The Hangover when they were getting ready to enjoy the summer before high school... are now graduating high school.  They're already married with kids, they've already got receding hairlines, and they're already looking for man caves to hide out this life in, endlessly tinkering on their cars, and going to Fast and Furious 6 for good tips.  Hint: use NOS!  The sports drink of note for both man and car!
The other big debut this week is Epic.  No, it's not Pixar.  It's from Pixar's second or third closest rival, those Ice Age geeks.  Lemme guess... even though it's set in the Middle Ages, we're still going to get a cameo from a certain wise-cracking mammoth?  Fingers crossed!
Oh, speaking of Pixar wannabes, in case I haven't done it already, I want to give a brief shout-out to The Croods.  Ten weeks in the top ten!  Oh, the people involved with that are going to get a second story added to their house, no question!  On the flip side of that coin, Tom Cruise's Oblivion is almost gone.  Sure, it debuted at #1, but then next week it was #2, and then the week after that it was #4, and then the week after that it was #6, and then the week after that it was #8... is there a pattern emerging here or what?  I never took those SAT tests, so I wouldn't know....................................................

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