Sunday, March 26, 2017

The Big Choke

While we wait for the fresh box office numbers to come in... is it a holiday I don't know about or something?  What is the deal?  They're usually HERE by now!  The other... I mean, one of the bigger Trump-related stories is that the Right-wing, Republican-controlled Congress was unable to jam their health care legislation down our throats.  See, if Republicans try to do it, it's okay.  And if Democrats try to get health care legislation passed, well... it's too soon, and throats apparently will get jammed.  But Drumpf is new to this job, and apparently even he has learned that he can't just come out and say what he normally thinks.  I'm pretty sure he wants to say that it was all their idea, it's a failure because of the Republicans, he thought this health care bill was fine the way it was.  I know it's a stupid, simple question to ask, Mr. Drumpf President, but if I had a Breitbart press pass to one of your press conferences, I think I'd ask something like this.  You said that everyone would be covered.  EVERYONE.  But according to haters and losers like the Congressional Budget Office and the Government Accountability Office have said that 24 million people would lose health coverage.  So my big question is... wait for it... WHAT'S THE DEAL?!  I THOUGHT YOU SAID EVERYONE WOULD BE COVERED.  WHAT HAPPENED???  Sorry about shouting... oh, wait, Drumpf blamed the Freedom Caucus.  Well, someone's got to!  Damn, I'm turning into Two Face.  I hate Drumpf, but I hate the Freedom Caucus AKA the "New" Tea Partiers a little bit more.  I mean, let's face it, Rich People... you're going to pay one way or another.  Sure, "no new taxes" sounds great and all that, but it just means that more people are going to come to you, soliciting donations.  Incidentally, this observation is brought to you by CFC... no, no, not chlorofluorocarbons.  No, that's the Koch Brothers.  I mean, the Combined Federal Campaign!  Reminds me: gotta talk to whoever is in charge of that at my office.  But back to the Rich People (TM) (R) (c) out there who have paid assistants that might be reading this.  Try to think of taxes as Angry Mob Insurance.  I know, your gated communities are impenetrable fortresses and all that, but they're a still part of this world.  (see Elysium for reference)  Do you still not need clean, breathable water and clean, drinkable air to breathe?  You don't want to have to pay for the good stuff all the time, right?  And don't you get tired of all the pyramid scheme guys trying to take your precious, precious d'argent from you with their various stupid, stupid fly-by-night ideas and shoddy products?  Try paying a little more of your fair share; you know, like you did in the Clinton years.  I know 1994 was a horrible time for you, economically, but you just gotta try to focus on the positive!  You know, like the other 99.999% of the planet does.
Anyway, it's a somewhat happy day in Sabanville, as the Power Rangers reboot comes in at #2 this week.  Also, there was a Chips movie... sorry, is that CHiPs?  I know this because Michael Pena was on "The Daily Show" and all that... but I just as quickly forgot about it.  There's Ryan Reynolds' latest; that won't slow him down much despite its tepid performance.  Also, there's one surprise film I feel like I need to mention: it's been 20 years, and it's apparently time for a sequel to Trainspotting!  Maybe I forgot the movie, or never saw it in the first place, but... shouldn't all these characters be dead, really?  I mean, what with the whole drug addiction thing and all.  But this will be nice for Ewan MacGregor, because I'm pretty sure he wanted all these years to get back at all his former fans who thought he went too soft when he started getting all the big Hollywood roles and all.

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