Sunday, July 15, 2018

The Hottest Summer on Record

...okay, better get back to work.  But just before that, I just gotta ask... how about Brett Bennett?  I mean, I know Scott Pruitt stepped down and all... but still.  He's out there with that soiled mattress, just waiting to strike, like Roger Ailes' relatives getting vengeance on... whoever.  The House of Murdoch?  Good luck with that.  Incidentally, this blog post is brought to you by the ACLJ.  The ACLJ!  We're basically like the ACLU, except that the ACLU has about a 70 year head start.  But we're working on it!  We've distanced ourselves from Pat Robertson sufficiently enough to garner the national spotlight lately.  Somehow I ended up on their mailing list, and this came in the mail this week.  I look on the back and I'm like... whoa!  Easy with the child porn there, guys!  I know, I know... they prefer to call it 'erotica.'  Sorry about the incorrect terminology there.  Well, it is important to remember that, at the end of the day, pedophiles are people too, and they donate generously.  Usually to the wrong causes.
Okay, back to the task at hand.  It's another week for the box office, and at #1 this week is the latest installment of the profitable Hotel Transylvania franchise.  Yes, Cartoon Network's Genndy Tartakovsky is an artist who's not afraid to make a few bucks.  Not ashamed to come back to complete the trilogy, either!  His only demand?  Rob Schneider out of the cast... okay, he was never in, but he wanted it in writing anyway.  Yes, it's another happy day in Sandlerville.  Dracula at the beach.  In my day, vampires couldn't tolerate sunlight.  A lot.  It was, like, their only weakness!  Jack Crow's gonna have to spend some of his ill gotten gains on R&D for future outings.
The only other debut this week is yet another picture from Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.  I don't even know if he likes to be called "The Rock" anymore.  Speaking of people with many names, they played that Katy Perry song "California Girls" on the radio, and probably a little too loud.  First of all, I'm surprised they even allow that kind of filth in this, the #MeToo era.  Second... where was the part with Snoop Dogg?  Totally gone, that's where!  Is he still Snoop Lion now?  I don't even care for the song all that much in the first place, but why you gotta butcher it like that?  Black dude always gets edited out first.  Unfortunate.  But I do know that this Rawson Marshall Thurber guy is definitely working harder than he ever thought he would.  Hope it's all fun for him!  He's getting to hobnob with the big movie stars, make the hot new 3D HD 1080p 4K entertainments of tomorrow, and the foreseeable future if all this vertical integration of the entertainment industry is to continue unabated in this fashion.  Conform as quickly as you can and keep swimming to stay in that bubble.
Before I go back to the Candy Crush, I just wanted to say one more thing about abortion.  We stand poised to lose the battle forever, or at least go back to the days of the back alley, so it's at least probably time to speak up.  That Brett Kavanaugh fella is about to join the Supreme Court and overturn Roe v. Wade.  Of course, didn't the right have a majority before?  I guess retiring justice Kennedy (brought to you by DJTJ, BTW... at least, according to him) kept it from coming up or something.  At a recent photo op, Kavanaugh and Alito were standing side by side... and they couldn't tell each other apart.  The paparazzi actually had to intervene and help them out, go figure.  Me myself, I can't help but think that we've lost the battle already if the Supreme Court gets to decide the fate of abortion at all!  But I guess ultimately anything's up for grabs if it gets into the right hands.  Mother Nature turns it all to rust, given enough time.  In the meantime, I did happen upon this helpful map on Wikipedia.  Notice all the BLUE areas of the globe.  They should probably have different shades of blue, based on future projections.  Europe at large will probably stay blue, we might turn black.  Or worse, grey.  Are there penguin abortions on Antarctica?  Anyway, you ask any Frenchman or German or anyone, and they'd probably say "Don't be silly!  Of course abortions are available to all women who need one.  Why wouldn't they be?"  Clearly they're not familiar with American extra-curricular activities these days.  I'm older, so I tend to take the ZPG route myself and say, look.  There's seven billion of us on the planet.  A third of the world's population has tuberculosis.  How many job applicants are rejected on a daily... scratch that, HOURLY basis from getting a job?  How many employers reject these people and think to themselves, hey, they're not my problem?  RELAX on the abortion thing a little bit!
Okay, time for me to go back to my usual grind, but before I do... what about Mai-Britt Vingsøe Watt?

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