Saturday, December 23, 2006

Kill Mel, Vol. 2

My mind is being blown too often these days. Wayne Newton, a transgender? Uploading whole human brains into computers? I can't even get my MyBook to work how I want it to. And now, a whole new version of Blogger to learn? Of course, the hot blogs get to go first. Oh, the title alone of my blog precludes me from ever being a Blog of Note, like Remember the Milk, Scobb's non-Blog or mySQL DBA. As with most all things, it's probably for the best.
Anyway, gotta wrap this mother out, or up. I'm tired. The bad kind of tired that seems to be a byproduct of the... well, after learning about The Singularity, I guess the Internet age is pretty primeval or primal, but that's where I'm at nonetheless. Anyway, sometimes after a hard day of work my body seems to have just enough strength to hit the bed before falling asleep, but usually I'm in a de-facto insomnia state where I feel like doing naught but lay in bed and fall asleep, but to little to no avail. So, might as well blog and get something done. Where were we? Oh yeah, the Top 5 this week, seeing as how in a couple hours a whole new top 10 starts, with some serious heavy hitters coming to the fold. So let's look at these lighter hitters we got now.
Clocking in at a lofty #5 it's The Holiday. I heard the radio ad for this movie, this Nancy Meyers movie. What, Charley Shyer's just chopped liver now? Well, after The Affair of the Necklace and Alfie, yeah, I would say so. After hearing Jack Black's dialogue, I guess I couldn't help but recall the Simpsons' homage to Cuckoo's Nest, where Barney visits Homer in the hospital, and after hearing Homer say "No! Beer bring pain!", Barney says "I hate to see him like this" and he proceeds to smother Homer with a pillow.
I'm just sayin'. :) Incidentally, it's a small Box Office world after all: because, you see, Nancy's also the director of What Women Want, starring Mel Gibson, whose Apocalypto ALSO took in 8.01 million this week! This battle kettle's boiling over, baby.

And checking in at the #4 pigeonhole, well, what more can we say about Happy Feet that already hasn't been said? Grab a pebble and wail, baby, this holiday turkey's got legs!

And finally, we get to some new entries this week. It's ... ta da! Another damn remake! Charlotte's Web. Why, Iwao Takamoto must be spinning in his grave with the other Hanna-Barbera guy that passed away recently. Rooby Dooby Doo!!!

Fangmeier! That's all I gotta say about the #2 entry this week, Aragorn. It's another Everybody Wants to Direct sob story about a guy, working his way up through the ILM chain of command, flirting dangerously with Digital Domain for a bintel brief, then back to ILM full-bore until finally he cashes in all his chips on a LOTR knock-off like this. Still, it all might work out. Maybe he can team up with Feige!

And finally... I am reminded of what Triumph the Insult Comic Dog once yelled at Will Smith passing by on the way to some awards show: "Where's DJ Jazzy Jeff? Doesn't he get to poop on movie screens once a year, too?" Evidently, not. But Biz Markie did have that cameo in Men in Black 2! But I digress. I guess that still doesn't help out the former, huh?
Where was I? Oh yeah, it's the follow up to that golf movie, the Ballad of... something. Jack Rose? Ah yes, The Legend of Bagger Vance, that's it. See, once I get that Singularity computer chip in my brain, and they have T-1 lines in the sky, we can eliminate all this needless rambling mambling pambling. The point being, his 2006 project, The Pursuit of Happy-Ness, kicked some major ass this week at the box office. Plot-wise, it seems to be some kind of Black Dilbert thing going on, something like that. It's a hopeful story, of course, but it seems to validate the corporate infrastructure a little too much for my taste. You know, the whole CEO thing, three days of vacation a year, Armani suits and Ferrari cars, living in the top floor of the building all your life, studying the public statements of Steve Case and trying to emulate them; he was awfully good, wasn't he? Whatever became of AOL's urbanization plan anyway? Even TimeWarner himself couldn't handle that one, I guess.

And with all that in mind, it is time to tuck this week's Box Office report into bed and kiss it goodnight. And good night to all of you, suckers! Hah hah hah.......

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