Sunday, November 18, 2007

Okay, so I missed a week...

Hmm! Guess the batteries in my keyboard will hold out for a little bit longer. Better change 'em just in case. What a scam. Not all computers are made the same. Otherwise who's going to buy the one without the Blu-Ray DVD/CD burner, but with the 750GB Seagate drive?
So where was I? Felt like an eternity away from the blog, but strangely cleansing. Just discovered the song they call "I want to see the bright lights tonight." I just can't BELIEVE Wes Anderson hasn't used that one yet! Of course, he'll probably want the version recorded by Phantom Planet, am I right?

What a week to miss, too. American Gangster was at #1, with Bee Movie a close second. Apparently, America was more entertained by blood and guts than family-friendly bees. But not this week! Finally, Spielberg triumphed over Brian Grazer, and not a moment too soon. Does this mean Larry David's going to respond in kind with his own Pixar-esque fare? Maybe Sour Grapes done by PDI DreamWorks?

In a fairly distant third is Fred Claus. I'd watch out, Darren Aronofsky, if I were you. That VV is an animal! He's going to steal your Weisz away from you. Did you not see the beginning of The Break-Up? The thrill of the chase, my friend! There's no going back.

At #4, it's Lions for Lambs. Well, it made more than Rendition, anyway. Apparently, it's a shrill liberal dose of whining about the Iraq war, and that's what the Democrats think! Tom Cruise reprises his turn as a senator in ... was it the first Mission Impossible? Incidentally, doesn't Tom Cruise sound like a porn star's name? I'm just saying. I mean, if he wasn't Tom Cruise, you know. Don't let Dianetics hold you hostage, man! You're bigger than that! The American public will embrace you further! The truth shall set you free.

OTOH, you are the closest to Crossing the Bridge, or whatever they call it. Being a Full Re-Born Thetan?

Rounding out our Top 5 this week, it's Dan In Real Life (DIRL). Oh please, Mr. Carell, how many times can a man go back on The Daily Show and thank them for all the good luck he's had in his life? Unfortunately, the answer's no longer blowin' in the wind. It's time to change the act! Pick a charity or something. I suggest solar power. We gotta catch up with the rest of the world sometime.


Oh, six to ten, how it depresses me so. But I need something to keep me up til 3 a.m. when Bananas starts on cable. At #6 is Saw 4. And while I'm waiting for 2009 when I'll be writing about how Saw 6 is at #6, I'm somewhat comforted by the fact that thanks to this, more movies will feature audio tapes in peoples' stomachs with instructions that will fuel the rest of the film. Or reality show. The sky's the limit, really! Long live the new CGI-fueled horror film revolution.

Lucky #7 gives us The Game Plan. I'm all out of quips, but I gotta admit this turkey's got legs, and maybe a little giblet gravy left to boot. Now, The Rock's not the womanizer that VV is, as far as I know. I don't watch E! as much as some, but I'd still guard your property, Kevin Bacon, nonetheless. Why it must be five degrees of separation with all of the suitors trying to make it with The Closer. I'm just saying.

At #8 it's P2. Now, what is this? It's not called P8! It's P2, dammit! Doesn't anything work like it's supposed to anymore? And Wes Bentley, apparently it can't be stressed enough. You've come a long way, Ricky Fitts. Or have you? Couldn't you have landed a supporting role in something prestigious like Jarhead? Well, never underestimate the power of denial, like a wise man once said.

30 Days of Night is lookin' fine at #9. know what I just realized? He's got his own Wikipedia entry even! What an age we live in. That photo of Danny Huston looks just like Bat Boy! Wow, I must be up too late.

And finally at #10 it's some new meat to the Top 10, and it is Martian Child, baby! And sure, to you it may look like just another Hollywood paean to parenthood, but to me it's the second collaboration between Indiana Jones screenwriter Menno Meyjes and John Cusack! Magic happens every time they get together. Or should I say... Majic? The other one is Max, about Hitler and his art teacher, something kooky like that. Why, they're practically next to each other on the video shelf! Unless your local video store finally gives Meyjes his own space in the special Director section of the store! And while we're at it, why aren't there more brothers on the wall? Peace out. :)

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