Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Short Reviews - October 2007

Not too late, is it? All right, let's just dive right in to it.

In the Valley of Elah - Is that still out?

Gone Baby Gone - or as Kevin Smith calls it, "the gayest movie ever!"
Testament - Okay, so it's an audio book. Still, quite a cinematical cast! Maybe they filmed it when they recorded it, sell the doc about it. Gee, isn't it great now that we have Sunday School 7 days a week now? The 30 pieces of silver never sounded so Oscar-worthy! Oh wait, yes they have...

"Tin Man" - Speaking of Dreyfuss, didn't he make this already?

30 days of night - Whatever. Somehow not as fun without Frank Langella and Larry Olivier.
The Story of Us - Alan Zweibel's second chance. With Monk, you're well on your way to Strike Three. Maybe for starters you can proof The Bucket List!
The Comebacks - Dodgeball's relevant after all! And it's nice to see that Fox Atomic has a sense of humor, and it isn't all just blood and guts horror.

Bee Movie - Well, should be better than Beloved, anyway. Or Bee Season. Or Akeelah and the Bee. Or will people just feel Bee-trayed?
P2 - Another inevitable movie... Oh, where have you gone, Ricky Fitts?
K2 - Never saw it... Great trailer, though!
Transformers - Oh, Optimus Prime sounds a little older...

Best of the Best - Pop it! (out of the DVD player...)

Lions for Lambs - Well, makes about as much sense as any of our other trade policies.

Snakes on a Plane - Guess Shaft's not getting too old for this shit.

The Hoax - Iraq, Howard Hughes, same thing...

Elizabethtown - Okay, Cameron Crowe. We get it. So, Dubya's a fiasco, eh? That's it... burn down his house!

The Original Kings of Comedy - So, what's Rupert Pupkin, chopped liver?
Fatal Attraction - Annoying at first, then it turns fatal...
Hitman - november 21? I can't wait that long!

Boyhood - Oh, there's an actual reason for its 2013 release. Damn! They stole my idea!... Sounds like something Lars von Trier might do, except it'd have to be 3 hours long with 40 minute takes, and it all takes place in one warehouse with chalk lines on the floor... something like that.
Fast Food Nation - Well, if you still feel like eating a hamburger after this...
Go For Broke - Somehow I don't think it'd play today.
It's A Big Country - Oh, they don't make 'em like they used to.

The Weather Man - Gore Verbinski's American Beauty.

Across the Wide Missouri - Ricardo Montalban as an Indian! I love it! Mas Macho Apache
Chairman of the Board - Let's see if YouTube links work...
Bob the Butler - I think I already said this, but Tom Green, what happened to you, man? You used to be cool. Now you've finally become the very thing you once seemed to rally against: just another part of the establishment. You can find this at Wal*Mart, stacked somewhere after Mary-Kate and Ashley, and just before the VeggieTales. Why not run for Sonny Bono's old seat while you're at it?

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